What would have been... (my Korean romance) ©

MKR II: Chapter 8 [CONCLUSION]

2011-09-17T21:30:00.004+08:00

“Nervous?” Shoei asked me as he took my hand and patted it.

I was getting my makeup done, ready for my solo scenes in my movie CF. Shoei had come along to accompany me and to take a short break from our schedule while I filmed the CF.

“I’ll be fine on my own. It’s when Hyun Bin appears, then I’m not sure if I can hold it together,” I giggled.

“Ya! Be a bit more professional, will ya!” he said, and nudged my head with his fist.

“Araso,” I laughed.

The first scene we were filming today was my monologue. Since Hyun Bin was very busy, squeezing in tight schedules before his enlistment, I was tasked to finish up all my solo scenes before he could come and join us. He also has a monologue that he will be recording later.

Sierra’s Monologue

She walks along the cliff, thinking their last conversation.

“I’ll be there. I’ll be there for you, always,” he said

“Isn’t saying ‘always’ overpromising,” she said.

“But that’s how you say it!” he exclaimed. “You’re so unromantic!”

She laughs to herself at the memory of the conversation. As she approaches a huge boulder, she sits down and gazes out to the sea.

“Oppa,” she says. “I too wish it will be always… always… whether or not you can keep that promise”

She sighs and pulls her jacket tighter around herself.

“I usually hate waiting for you, but somehow today, I don’t mind it that much. But this place… it’s breathtaking… as you said it would be. I wish you were here to see it with me. Oppa… pogoshipeo.”

We did that scene several times; mainly because the director wanted my tone to be right when I was saying my lines. Regretfully, after more than 5 years in Korea, I still had a foreigner’s accent. It was slight, as the director had said, but it was nevertheless there. So they wanted to refine it a little.

I was saying my last line for the monologue, “Oppa… pogoshipeo” when suddenly a pair of hands wrapped around me.

“Mani kidaryeo?” he said as he smiled.

It was Hyun Bin, jumping into the scene as he was supposed to in the script. We were going to redo that bit when he arrived, but it looks like we don’t have to now.

“Ne,” I smiled back, and he leaned in to kiss me.

His lips were soft and firm, and I was immediately immersed into it. We shifted into position naturally and ended up with me leaning back on that boulder, and him holding me in his arms as he supported himself with one knee against the boulder.

“Cut!” the director yelled, and Hyun Bin slowly pulled away.

I could imagine my dazed expression, and instead of straightening up and walking away as I expected him to, he stayed, just inches away from my face, smiling indulgently.

“Kwaench’anayo?” he asked softly.

“It was a bit of a surprised,” I managed to reply.

“Then it’s definitely going to register well on film. I don’t think we’ll need to do that scene again,” he said.

“Pity,” I smiled.

Yes. I managed a cheeky joke after what had just happened. As soon as I said that, I wondered if that kiss had really gone to my head and damaged it. Hyun Bin’s face changed for a moment; an expression that I could only read as confusion. Then he laughed out loud.

All the staff around us looked on with confused looks. I was a bit mortified for a moment, until he spoke.

“I was expecting our time together to be interesting, but you’re really turning out to be not just interesting but quite attractive,” he said.

“Kamsahamnida,” I smiled.

He helped me up and we walked towards the refreshments table to grab a hot drink before we had to go to the next scene.

“That was superb!” the director said when he saw us. “The element of surprise was real and Sierra, you did a good job in holding it together. You 2 really have chemistry. That scene was so beautiful, we don’t need another take.”

“Komapseumnida,” we both bowed.

“Hyun Bin-shi did a favour to me. It couldn’t have worked out any better,” I said.

“You were doing well before I came,” Hyun Bin said.

“Keurae, keurae…” the director said as he patted Hyun Bin and I on our arm. “Have a break and we’ll resume shooting shortly.”

“Ne,” we answered, and he walked away.

“Nuna,” Shoei called out to me from the tent they had set up for us all to rest in.

“Coming!” I replied. “Would you like another drink, Hyun Bin sonbae?”

“Please just call me oppa,” he smiled, “and I wouldn’t mind another drink in this cold weather.”

“Shoei, Hyun Bin oppa,” I introduced the both of them when we got to the tent.

“Pangapseumnida,” Shoei shook Hyun Bin’s hand and bowed at the same time.

“You’re missing 1 more member, aren’t you?” Hyun Bin asked.

“Skye’s busy today. He’s scheduled for a variety show,” Shoei answered.

“Ah… you idols really work so hard these days. Music shows, variety shows, dramas, live performances, CFs. You’re everywhere,” Hyun Bin said.

“They are the best way to gain exposure,” I said. “We don’t have much of a choice.”

Most idols groups are juggling numerous variety shows these days, often spending an entire day either onsite or at the TV stations. That and they’d need to keep up their vocal and dance practice so that they could still excel on the music shows.

The up and coming trend is to first debut as an idol, gain a strong fan base and venture into acting. Almost every single idol is a triple-threat these days. And those who tire of the music scene but decide not to venture into the foray of dramas and movies tend to participate in musicals; even those who are still active singers.

The shoot with Hyun Bin was one I would always remember. It would be sometime before I had a change to work with someone so charismatic. I didn’t think I made much of an impression on him during our short project, but when he held a small going-away gathering before his enlistment, I was invited.

“Thank you for inviting me,” I said, bowing before I left the party that night.

“It’s a pleasure. Please keep in contact. I’ll definitely contact you when I’m discharged,” he smiled. “We must work on another project.”

“Ne,” I smiled.

Months have passed. We’ve thrown ourselves into the management of our company once the promotional period for our album ended. Our song from the mini-drama cum CF did pretty well on the digital charts, but things have died down again as usual. With the influx of new bands and singers, we’re pretty much drowning in the over-crowded industry. It was a struggle to stay visible.

A part of me has put the SM past behind me. All the involvements I’ve ever had with the guys from SM seem to have waned. Yun Ho and Chang Min are now so engrossed with their schedule, fulfilling the grand dreams of the great leader of SM Ent. Jae Joong, Jun Su and Yoo Chun are working hard to keep a solid profile in the media. They’ve been ostracized from the music scene, still unable to perform on music shows and the majority of variety shows. But they maintained high profile as ambassadors for Cheju-do being nominated as one of the world’s natural wonders, and also for their roles in dramas and musicals. Every time I read the news that they’ve been dropped from a program or show, my heart would still sink. I really hope that they would stop being disregarded on purpose.

But it was comfortable I no longer felt the need to get involved in their matters. Life after SM was definitely a sweet taste of freedom. But now we had to fend for ourselves and keep our incomes coming. But it wasn’t so bad. We still had a comfortable life, and now that we’ve started our own label, we’re slowly gaining recognition as professionals in the business.

My life had changed constantly since the day I got on that flight to South Korea, and yet, it doesn’t stop here. Trends will change, expectations will continue to increase, and every day, we will find a new way to create and share something new that we feel worthwhile to put out there for the world to hear. While it seems that my dreams had already been fulfilled, I think it’s more accurate to say that at this point, it has started, for real.

******

Dear Readers, especially those who still check back every once in awhile…

I felt that it’s time to end this fiction. I had to write MKR II because it was impossible to connect the chain of events in the original MKR since too much time had lapsed. But now as I try to write MKR II, I feel that it has become almost foreign to me.

Sadly, those dreams that I once had, have become just dreams. I will never forget how much I wanted them to come true, but I think that I am coming to terms that life will not be that way for me, unless by some total stroke of luck, I fall into a pot of gold.

But I do have some happy news to report. I will finally be making my ‘maiden’ trip to Seoul on 24^th Sep, and I plan to have an awesome time.

I thank everyone who had ever followed this fanfic faithfully, and those who have stumbled upon it and read every single chapter, even when they saw it was an absurd 100 over chapters.

I will write again someday, but until that new flame is ignited, that will launch me into the obsessive state of typing out every single thought I have, you can alternatively follow me on YouTube or Twitter to see what I’m up to ^_^

@sierraS3

@sierraskyeshoei

http://www.youtube.com/user/sierraskyeshoei

http://www.youtube.com/user/sierraskye

MKR II: Chapter 7

2011-03-06T16:16:00.002+08:00

“Another drama?” I exclaimed.

“It’s just a drama CF,” Shoei said. “The script came in this morning. They want you to go for a screen test.”

“We need this now, nuna,” Skye said. “We’ve been doing variety shows, but a drama would put us in the headlines for awhile, and we get to put one of our new songs in the OST.”

“Araso, araso,” I nodded. “So who’s my hero this time?”

My last drama experience was fun since I got to work with Kim Jae Wook, but it was hell to work with Darren from Helix, speaking of which, Helix had disbanded. It was during TVXQ’s months of turmoil, so it didn’t really make the headlines. Darren had since joined E! Entertainment Asia as a TV presenter, Nakata is now a model in New York and the only one we still see around is Min Jong, who had since begun a fairly successful solo singing career and also as a DJ. I’ve not heard from Darren since the last time we clashed.

“It’s a surprise!” Skye said.

“It’s a CF for a vacation spot on Cheju-do,” Shoei said. “It’s gonna be very dramatic and scenic at the same time, and I think you’re gonna go nuts when you find out who your leading man is.”

And I did. I almost fell over when I walked into the room for the screen test. Sitting in the panel with the director and producers, was Hyun Bin.

“Annyonghashimnikka,” I said as I bowed to them.

“Sierra-shi oso-oseyo,” the director greeted me.

“Yeolshimhi-haeyo,” the producer smiled at me.

“Ne, kamsahamnida. Chalputakhaesseumnida!” I said and bowed again.

Hyun Bin picked up the script in front of him and got up to join me at the front.

“Choeum poebkeseumnida,” he said to me.

“Na-do choeum poebkeseumnida, Hyun Bin sonbae,” I smiled.

“Ah… you don’t have to call me sonbae,” he laughed. “Makes me feel like an old man.”

“Well, you have been in the business for so long. I’ve been your follower since Spin Kick,” I smiled.

“I see. I doubt I was any good back then though,” he replied.

“But you were always cool,” I replied, and he just grinned back.

“Let’s start then,” the director said. “The script is just temporary. We may change it later on as we’ve not finalized the whole storyline for the CF.”

“Ne, kamdongnim,” I replied.

“Shijak!” the director yelled.

The test camera rolled, and I read the lines as convincingly as I could.

“Kajima,” he said as he grabbed my hand.

I pulled my hand away from him and took a step back.

“I can’t,” I said in a half-whisper.

“Why? What would it take to make you stay?” he asked me.

“Nothing,” I replied.

“Why? Why won’t you give me a chance?”

“Why should I? You’ve never given me the reason to. You’ve been acting so different lately. I don’t think I know you anymore.”

“I have my reasons, if you’ll let me explain.”

“And after that, where does that lead us? What sort of foundation have we built this relationship on?

“We have. Me. Lean on me. Trust me. I will be our foundation. The pillar that holds our home up, the stable ground you step on and the comforting bed you sleep on each night.”

“You seriously think you can do that? Isn’t it too late?”

Hyun Bin pulls me into his arms and hugs me tightly.

“No. Don’t say it’s too late. It’s never too late for us. Never!”

“Never…” I whispered back as my arms slowly came up to return his hug.

“Cut!” the director yelled.

I nearly hyperventilated during the last 2 lines. I was in so much shock that I think I played the role right at that last line where I had to sound like I was giving in. How could you not give in when Hyun Bin was holding you tightly in his arms? This was a zillion times more exhilarating that watching the sit-up scene from Secret Garden, and I was totally wondering how it would be to have a kiss scene with him since I heard that he was a superb kisser from his Secret Garden credentials. I am definitely a fan girl in this moment.

Hyun Bin was riding high on his Secret Garden success. He had 2 movies out and this was probably going to be his CF before he joined the marines for his mandatory military service. I couldn’t hear the sound of breaking hearts all over the world when he has to disappear for 2 years. I wonder how his girlfriend, Song Hye Gyo, felt about it. I suppose she’s too busy to care anyway. Then again, the rumours are that they had broken up, and he didn’t seem too happy the last time reporters asked him about it. I really do wonder if it’s true.

“Chal-haesseoyo,” Hyun Bin said when the scene was over.

“Komapseumnida,” I replied. “I hope we will have the chance to work together.”

“I hope so too,” he smiled. “Since I’ve heard a lot of good things about you.”

“As an actress, as a singer or as a person?” I asked.

“Hmm… a little bit of each,” he replied.

“Good to hear then!”

I was so nervous while talking to him. My whole body felt like it was shaking with excitement. I hope the vibrations weren’t actually visible.

Skye and Shoei were more excited than I was when we met up after the screen test. I’m definitely considering padding our office walls at the rate they bounce of the walls in excitement whenever we get a gig of some kind.

“How was it? How was it?” Skye asked.

“I think it was alright. Nothing spectacular though.”

“When will you know?” Shoei asked.

“Soon, I guess?” I shrugged. “They mentioned that they need to start filming ASAP since Hyun Bin would be off for his military service in March.”

We were in the middle of discussing our upcoming activity schedules when a familiar figure walked into our office.

“Hyung!” Skye yelled and jumped out of his chair to greet him.

“Orae maneyo,” Yun Ho smiled.

Dressed in jeans, t-shirt and a smart casual jacket, he still exuded a presence that was strong, yet warm. That was his signature style. But he did look a bit overworked and thin lately, as did Chang Min.

“Oneul an papeunde?” I asked. I thought he would be crazy busy since he and Chang Min had just put out their new album.

“I was in the neighbourhood,” he said, “thought I’d pop by. Nideul chal chinaesseo?”

“Oh… we’re alright,” Shoei replied.

“Cho-a,” he smiled. “Sierra… Can I speak to you for a bit?” he asked.

“Sure,” I stood up and walked towards the informal meeting room we had set up in our office.

The room was meant for informal meetings mostly with friends we had projects with and we’d set it up as our lounge so that the staff could chill out there during breaks. A bright red couch lined one wall and in the middle was a sitting area designed like the ones at a Japanese restaurant, where a space is made under the table so that you could dangle your feet under it instead of having your legs fall asleep from sitting cross-legged for long hours. The new super slim Samsung flat-screen TV completed the room, along with several game consoles; a Wii, a Playstation and an Xbox.

Yun Ho closed the door after me and sat down on the couch, while I sat on the cushions that surrounded the center table.

“What is it?” I asked him.

“Has Jae Joong contacted you?” he asked me.

“Do you need to know?” I replied.

“Why do you think I’m asking?” he said.

“I dunno. This is really something you people need to work out,” I said. “Don’t drag me into this.”

“You’re the biggest link between me and Jae Joong. Who else can I ask?”

“Why don’t you reply his texts then?”

“He never texted me. Did he tell you he did?”

“I read it in online,” I said, truthfully.

Jae Joong has never explained in detail what the situation between JYJ and the remaining 2 of TVXQ was at this point. We had too much issues of our own to be including this in our conversations.

“You can’t believe all you read,” he said.

He was starting to sound agitated and upset. While I feel for him, I just didn’t know what else I could do. It wasn’t just Jae Joong who had disappeared for months on end. This was the first time Yun Ho had come to me since TVXQ’s breakup. I guess he was desperate and concerned now. How do you forget the brothers you suffered and succeeded with for almost a decade? You don’t. While they may be estranged at this moment, the front they are keeping is just a shield to protect themselves from the media.

“Ara…” I said, and I reached out for his hand.

He squeezed my hand in what I’d call gratitude, and smiled at me.

“It feels good you know?” he said, his voice softer now.

“Mwoga?” I asked.

“To hold your hand again,” he said. “I’ve not had any comfort like this for so long and it surprises me that I am still feeling our closeness.”

“Well, I know we didn’t even make it till a year, but I was your first,” I laughed.

“First?”

“Your first foreign girlfriend,” I added.

“Ah… keugo,” he laughed softly. “You were a breath of fresh air.”

“And you were the one who killed my fantasies of Korean idols,” I joked.

“Cheongmal?” he said, and made a sad face. “I must be the disgrace of my nation then.”

“Ani… you have your redeeming qualities,” I said. “Don’t feel too bad about it.”

“Haha… kowawo,” he smiled.

We chatted for awhile and filled each other in on our current progress. He held my hand all throughout the conversation. I know I should probably feel a bit uncomfortable, but I didn’t. Maybe I was just as lonely as he was, or maybe we really did still share a connection. In that time, I just wanted to be his friend again, and even though my loyalties are supposed to be with Jae Joong, I chose to be a neutral party at this point. There is no reason for me to take side and shun either one of them at this time. I was sure that in time they would resolve their issues and move on.

“Take care,” he said as he hugged me.

“You too,” I said. “I know you’re really busy with all music shows and variety shows, but do remember to eat well and rest.”

“You too,” he said. “Congratulations on your successful comeback.”

“Successful my foot,” I laughed. “One win counts for nothing.”

“There’ll be many more opportunities as S-Cube grows. It’s still early. You guys have a talent that has been suppressed for too long.”

I agreed with him. Skye and Shoei were superb musicians, composers and lyricists. Being in SM kept them on a tight reign. It wasn’t because they had no appeal that made us a mediocre band for so many years. It was because they weren’t allowed to prove themselves. Now that we were free, we aimed to have success, and if not in the mainstream masses, we didn’t mind the selective crowd. Companies like Fluxus, where Clazziquai and Winterplay were signed, inspired us. They did the kind of music that may never conquer the charts like an idol group would, but they still had enough success from the support of people who truly appreciated their music style.

Later that evening, we received a call. My CF with Hyun Bin has been confirmed, and S-Cube would have 1 song from our new mini-album as the title track of the 10 minute drama CF. Looks like we’re on the roll for the coming month or 2.

MKR II: Chapter 6

2011-02-13T23:09:00.001+08:00

“What do you want from me?” I whispered.

“Nothing…” he whispered back in his husky voice. “I just want you to be here right now.”

“You know you’re never going to stick around,” I reminded him.

“Mianhae,” he said as he stroked my hair with his right hand. “It’s the path we’ve chosen, and I cannot involve you in it.”

I knew what he’d been trying to do all this while. He was trying to disassociate us from each other so that none of the backlash would ever fall on me. He was thinking for my career. S-Cube wasn’t JYJ. We wouldn’t be able to survive the way JYJ has been doing. Even if they wouldn’t let them on music shows and most programs on Korean television, they were still making headlines both for their talent and the controversies that came from their battle with SM Entertainment.

“Sure you won’t regret this?” I asked him, hugging him tightly as the elevator doors opened to his floor.

He let go and held my hand as he lead me out of the elevator.

“Every day of my life,” he said as he walked ahead.

“Ne?” I said, since he left his sentence hanging.

He didn’t answer as he punched in the code to his front door to open it. He closed the door and we stood in the corridor, just the two of us, illuminated by the dim light Hyun Joong had left on for him.

“I will regret this every day, for the rest of my life,” he said.

His gaze was so intense, even in the dim lighting. Tears had found their way down his cheeks. Jae Joong cried like any other human, but this was the first time he had cried for us since he left more than 6 months ago. Seeing his tears brought out mine too. He reached out to cradle my face in his hands as my tears found their way down my face, and he kissed my lips tenderly.

“I’m so sorry,” he said in English, knowing it was the language I knew best, and wanting me to know how deep his apology was.

There were moments when I wished I never saw him again, but at times like this, when I saw how tired he was from all that he was going through, I just wanted to be there for him. I wanted to hold his hand, hold him in my arms, hold his heart and be his rock. I wanted to be his rock because he had been mine for so many years. Whatever I went through, I knew that all I had to do was to seek the comfort he so readily provided. This comfort was no longer available, but the least I could do was to give him what he had given me for so long.

“Kwaench’ana,” I said, and I put my arms around his waist.

He had lost so much weight in the past few months that his body now felt almost foreign to me.

“You’ve put on weight,” he said, obviously trying to break the ice by annoying me.

“So that you know I’m doing well without you,” I said as I pulled away and stuck my tongue out at him.

“I can see that,” he smiled as he stroked my cheek, then he gave it a quick pinch before running off, laughing.

“Yah!” I yelled as I chased after him towards his room.

He flipped on the lights as he sprinted to his room, and I caught up with him just as he crashed into his bed.

“Mmmph…” he said when I landed on him where he lay, flat on the bed.

“Aigoo!” he exclaimed in agony and he flipped over as I rolled off him.

“Take that!” I laughed, and gave him a playful kick on his butt before settling into a comfortable position amongst his pillows.

He slid up his bed and tucked one arm under me to that we could snuggle on his bed. I rested my head on his chest and just sighed. It was always comforting to be this close to him, but I’m beginning to realize that it had become a habit through the years.

“Who do you think you’d be dating now if I didn’t exist?” I asked him.

“Why are you always so random?” he laughed. “Can’t I have stayed single?”

“I dunno,” I replied. “You’ve always said that you needed a wifely kind of woman.”

“Have I?”

“Twaesseo…” I said as I turned my face away from him. “You never mean the things you say anyway.”

“Naega eonje!” he asked as he turned my face back so that I had to look at him, pinching my cheek playfully.

“Always,” I replied and stuck out my tongue.

On days like this, I realized I’m getting tired of it all. When I don’t see him, I miss having him around. When he’s with me, I feel drained. It’s like it takes too much energy to carry on a conversation with him. Eventually, it drifts into some kind of petty quarrel, but we’d always forgive each other and make up within the next hour. We weren’t the kind of couple that held grudges and rarely went for ages without talking to each other. This has been the longest period for us.

My friends tell me that it’s either we were getting too familiar, and that the romance was dying. It was the part and parcel of almost becoming an old married couple, which was the last thing I wanted to be with this man. I think our relationship thrives on us being a dating couple. Or course as time goes along, certain things become routine, but most of the time, we’re pretty spontaneous and we manage to keep things fresh by trying out new activities and going to new places.

We didn’t speak much for the rest of the night. We just got ready for bed and slept till morning. I had to be content with wearing one of his shirts since I’d removed all my stuff from his place when we broke up. We shared a toothbrush like we always did, and I used his facial products since we pretty much had the same type of skin.

Staying the night probably wasn’t the best thing to do when you’re trying to get over someone, but I had a long day ahead and commuting home at this hour would just be a waste of time, so I decided to just throw in the towel and take what I’m given.

I woke up the next morning to the smell of food wafting into the room. It’s weird how I’m able to automatically wake up on time whenever I’m at his place. I suppose it’s because he very helpfully draws the curtains open so that the sunlight would wake me up. I got out of bed, did a good bit of stretching, and freshened up quickly before I left the bedroom.

The weather was starting to get a bit chilly these days, but he’d turned on the floor heating and the house was just the right temperature, even though I am guessing that he probably preferred the temperature a bit lower than I did.

“Ireonasseo?” he said when I appeared in the kitchen.

He was busy serving out a few plates of side dishes; radish kimch’i, cabbage kimch’i, mini Korean pancakes and deep fried anchovies. The main dish for today was miyukguk with lots of tofu and pieces of pork and cubed odaeng swimming in it. There was not a single dish I didn’t like. He even made sure that the anchovies were just fried because I’d always complained about the soggy anchovies they served at restaurants. It was also a recipe of my mom’s that I shared with him; frying the anchovies with sugar and a bit of salt, sometimes with roasted peanuts.

“Masshisseo?” he asked me when I nicked a pancake and popped it into my mouth.

“When does your cooking ever suck?” I smiled back at him.

This is what I missed most; being taken care of by him. Sure, he couldn’t do it each and every day. It was usually on his off days that I would get such treats, but it always made me feel blessed. Sometimes I’m a little ashamed that I cannot do the same for him.

We ate in silence, drowning our rice with the soup and finishing every single bit of the side dishes. Then he brought out more food; a very sinful chocolate and coffee cake, served with Earl Grey tea.

“I wonder why I never put on weight when we were together,” I said in between a mouthful of cake.

“It must be because I keep you on your toes,” he laughed.

“Haha…” I laughed sarcastically. “You don’t know how true that is.”

It’s sad to know that when we were to have such conversations now, he will never tell me to come back to him, and I will never tell him that I long to be by his side again. We both just know that it is never going to work out, and we just want to still be able to enjoy moments like this once in awhile.

“I’ll be moving again” he said as he sipped his tea.

“Moving in with Jun Su and Yoo Chun?”

“Yea,” he said. “It’s more practical since we’re going to be really busy working together. I just hope they will lift the bans soon.”

“They’re just being mean,” I said. “They just want to teach you guys a lesson since what you guys did was pretty much anarchy. You turned the industry upside down, and now some other bands are also following suit.”

“I was afraid they’d try something on S-Cube,” he said.

“Nah… we’re not famous enough for them to care. I was surprised and thankful that all 3 of our contracts expired without any complications.”

“Yea…” he replied. “Drink up, or you’re going to be late.”

I had a live show today, so it didn’t matter if I had fresh clothes or not since I was wearing a coat and I would have costumes where I’m going.

“Here,” he said as he tossed me a paper bag when I entered his room.

“Mwoya?” I said as I peered into it.

It was a blouse.

“I’ve washed it already. You can wear it now,” he said as he went about getting himself ready.

“Komawo,” I said as I took the blouse out of the bag and went into the bathroom for a shower.

I showered quickly and got dressed. It was a short sleeved dark blue cotton blouse with frills on the sleeves and down the front, which was pretty much my style these days; simple with a hint of girlishness. Trust him to get it in the right size and right style.

“Looks good on you,” he smiled when I emerged from the bathroom.

“It was a good choice,” I smiled, “komawo.”

“It’s been awhile since I got you anything,” he sai, “When I saw it, I thought you might like it.”

“I do.”

We put on our jackets and shades and left the apartment. We held hands briefly in the elevator and in the car, and when we arrived at the broadcasting station, I gave him a peck on the cheek and got out of the car. We were going through the motions all over again, but something about today felt that it was the last time. As if from here on, things will never be the same again.

He gave me a little wave, and I returned it before turning to walk into the building. Someday at this same time, we would replace each other with someone else and perform all these things for them. I just wondered when it will be that day come. When will we be able to move on from this love that has taken up so much of our lives for the past few years? Perhaps… perhaps we may never replace each other, ever, and the thought of it is simply agonizing.

MKR II: Chapter 5

2011-01-16T19:07:00.002+08:00

I walked out of the tent that covered the stall we were at and walked a few meters away, towards the quiet parking lot.

“Ok… it’s quiet enough to talk now,” I said.

“You kids sure know how to have fun,” he laughed.

“What do you mean kids?” I laughed. “We’re almost the same age.”

“Haha… sometimes I forget,” he said. “I feel like such an old man these days.”

“You’re not old,” I said, smiling to myself.

“Komawo,” he replied. “I hope I’m not intruding.”

“It’s alright, sonbae. What’s up?”

“You know I’m going off to the army soon,” he started.

“Ne,” I replied.

It had been all over the news. The next week or so was packed with ‘goodbye stages’ for Park Hyo Shin.

“Would you like to join me for one of the performances?” he asked.

Would I ever? I practically screamed down the phone at him. I cannot believe one of my biggest idols just asked me to perform with him.

“Chintcha?” I asked him. “Are you for real? Me?”

“Why not?” he laughed.

I am loving this man at the moment. Although I believe he must be quite blind and deaf to pick me, I am ecstatic to know that he actually thought well enough of me to offer me that spot next to him on the stage.

“When is it?” I asked him.

“The next one is on this Friday’s KBS Music Bank. Can you make it?” he asked.

“I think so,” I said.

I should be there with Skye and Shoei for our single, so it will be an additional performance for me, which is normal.

“Great!” he said. “We’ll need to meet soon to discuss the arrangement of the song since we’re singing a duet.”

“Which song?”

“I guess we’ll be doing ‘I Promise You’, since it’s the one that fits our voices best,” he said.

“Great! I’ll start practicing tonight,” I said.

“Practice?” he said. “I thought you should know it by now? Aren’t you supposed to be my fan?”

“Sonbae!” I exclaimed in embarrassment.

He laughed, as I was silent for a moment, trying to get over the embarrassment. I guess it had always been obvious that I was a fan, and I did mention his influence on me as a performer at numerous interviews throughout my career.

“I’m flattered,” he said. “I was quite flattered to know a singer such as you, and a foreigner at that, actually knew my music.”

“You’re quite famous, sonbae,” I said. “And you are an accomplished,” I smiled.

“Komawoyo,” was his reply.

“I’ll miss you while you’re in the army,” I said.

“That’s nice to know,” he said, and I laughed nervously.

We made plans to meet 2 days from then to practice. I was extremely excited to be able to finally work with him officially. A radio show would be a coincidence. A choreographed performance on stage would definitely fulfill my dreams.

*****

“They’re back,” Shoei suddenly announced while we were waiting for our turn to perform that Friday.

“Nugu?” I asked.

“JYJ,” Shoei replied.

“Keurae?” I said in an indifferent tone.

I seriously didn’t want to be bothered about TVXQ or JYJ anymore. Things have gotten so messy between them lately, and I didn’t want any part of it. With my long history with Yun Ho and Jae Joong being a constant reminder, I didn’t need to be further reminded that at some point I may be forced to pick sides. All I wanted to do now was to complete a perfect performance with Hyo Shin sonbae before he goes to the army.

“Chalhanda,” Hyo Shin sonbae said to be after our rehearsal earlier today. “You’ll do great tonight.”

“I hope so,” I smiled.

“You’ll do good always,” he smiled back.

“I sincerely hope so too,” I laughed nervously. “I really can’t imagine 2 years without you around, sonbae.”

“I’ll be back,” he smiled, and reached out to pat me on the head.

I bowed a little, feeling a bit shy from the attention I was getting from him.

“You’re gonna be here holding the fort till I come back?” he said in jest.

“Ne, sonbaenim,” I laughed as I stood in attention while saying those words.

“At ease,” he laughed.

*****

“We have an extra special stage tonight,” the emcee said. “Let’s welcome a refreshing duet performance of ‘I Promise You’ by Park Hyo Shin and Sierra!”

The arrangement of the song was simple. I had the first part of the song while he sang backup for me, and he had the 2^nd part while I contributed with backup vocals, then we ended together. You could only imagine how good it felt to be singing with him. It was akin to being made a part of a choir in the heavens; to hear your own voice blending beautifully with a voice like his. He was famous for his near flawless performances, and I really worked hard to ensure that my voice didn’t waver or went off-key to mar his performance.

In less than 4 minutes, it was over. I felt like I was floating on the clouds throughout that performance. Towards the end of the performance, he came over and put his arm around me as we sang the final chorus. It felt as if we’ve been performing as a pair for all this time. I doubt I would forget this milestone in my life anytime soon.

“You were so cool, nuna!” Skye said when he saw me backstage.

“Yea,” Shoei agreed. “Let’s see you bring that A-game to our song.”

We were standing in the corridor near the stage, watching the performance before ours and waiting for our turn to perform. I was all hyped up from my performance with Hyo Shin sonbae, and I totally forgot how normal it was that I could be high one moment and messed up in a split second. My phone buzzed in my hand, and I looked at it.

‘Great performance earlier… Can we meet tonight?’ he texted.

He sure knew how to pick his moments. He probably thought I’d be in a better and more forgiving mood since I just had that performance with Hyo Shin sonbae.

I sighed, and replied his text in the only way I knew how.

‘Wait for me outside. I should be done in another 2 hours.’

After I’d replied him, I immediately passed my phone to my assistant since I wasn’t allowed to carry it onto the stage. I really wanted to stop thinking about him at this moment and deliver a solid performance tonight. Thank god I managed to.

The energy on the set was explosive tonight. We started off with ‘Words³’ and ended with our faster track ‘Fixated’. ‘Fixated’ was a mid-tempo mixture of R&B and Hip Hop. The most of the lyrics were done by Skye and Shoei, but I managed to pitch in by writing the chorus. I wasn’t sure how the fans would take to it, but hearing them chanting the chorus word for word as we performed the song confirmed to me that they loved it well enough.

We finished our performance and packed up in just under 2 hours. I picked up my bag and got up, drawing curious looks from Skye and Shoei.

“Eodi ka?” Shoei asked me.

“I’m going off with Jae Joong. Don’t wait up,” I said as I started walking towards the exit.

“Do you want me to come along?” Shoei asked.

“Kwaench’ana,” I replied. “I’ll see you kids at home.”

I walked out of the building to find him waiting in his car, parked up front. It wasn’t his usual car, but I’ve seen him drive it around before to avoid being followed since the paparazzi recognised his snazzy cars.

“Are you cold?” he asked me, the moment I got in, and reached to turn up the heater for me.

It was touching to see that he remembered so much about me; my likes and dislikes, my hopes and fears, my ambitions, my desires… and yet, he has no other way to proceed than in the way that hurt me most.

“Aniya… kwaench’ana,” I said.

“Where to?” he asked me.

“Anywhere you like,” I replied as I put on my seatbelt.

We drove in silent until we came to his apartment. I hadn’t counted on him bringing me to his place since he had a housemate.

“Isn’t Hyun Joong home?” I asked him.

“He went touring again,” he replied as he eased into his parking lot and turned off the engine.

We got out of his car and started walking towards the elevator. He flashed his access card at the door that lead to the elevator lobby and held open the door for me to enter first. I hit the ‘up’ button, and we continued to stand there in silence while waiting for the elevator to arrive.

“How’s Jun Su and Yoo Chun?” I asked him, breaking the silence.

I hadn’t seen the both of them for as long as I have not seen Jae Joong. It seemed that they too had disappeared from the face of the earth during the past year.

“They’re fine. They’re visiting their family now, before we get really busy again.”

“So what is it that you guys are doing back in Seoul now?” I asked him.

“You sound like you’re not welcoming us home as well,” he laughed.

“Don’t be silly,” I replied.

The elevator finally arrived, and we both walked in, side by side. The door closed as Jae Joong hit the button to the floor he lived on, and as soon as the elevator started moving, he reached out and pulled me into his arms.

“Kaman isseo,” he whispered when I tried to pull away.

I hated how his voice made me want to stay still for him. I hate how his arms made me melt and want to cling to him forever. I hated that I still wanted him back in my life, even when it was clear he couldn’t guarantee me anything. I hate that I still loved him.

MKR II: Chapter 4

2011-01-02T00:44:00.001+08:00

The lights on the stage dimmed and the opening notes of ‘Hamyeoneun Andwae’ started.

Hyun Joong: tashi tora-ondago naege keojitmaramyeon andwae

tteonaji mallago naege mareul haejumyeon andwae

pabogat'jiman na kyesok neol kidarilmyeoneun andwae

chal karaneun keu mareun cheoldaero hamyeoneun andwae

chebal meollikajin ma chebal meollikajin ma
naega chaljeul su itge

neomu meollikajin ma neomu meollikajin ma
nega po-iji ana

chebal nal tteonaji mallago teonaji mallago

yaksokhaejwo naege chebal

Sierra: naegeseo meoreojimyeon andwae

tteonaya handago naege mareun hamyeoneun andwae

pabogat'jiman na idaero neol itneunge andwae

twidoraseon ne moseub cheodaero po-imyeon andwae

chebal meollikajin ma chebal meollikajin ma
naega chaljeul su itge

neomu meollikajin ma neomu meollikajin ma
nega po-iji ana

ireohke ponael su eobdago ponael su eobdago

torabwajwo naege… chebal

Hyun Joong: ha~ oo hoo~

(Sierra: hoo~)

Together: chebal nal tteonaji mallago

tteonaji mallago… a ha~ ha~

Hyun Joong: yaksokhaejwo

(Sierra: yaksokhaejwo)

Together: oh~ chebal

nananana nanana

oh hoo~

Hyun Joong had walked towards me after the 2^nd line of the first verse and took my hand. We did not let go ever since. Throughout the song, other than occasionally addressing the crowd, we played the role of lovers singing to one another. Longing looks, soft smiles, swinging our arms as we walked across the stage. As always, Hyun Joong was perfect in behaving like the cool and loving boyfriend.

As the song neared its end, Hyun Joong drew me closer until we were in each other’s arms, and he planted a soft, lingering kiss on my forehead. The squeals and screams that the action brought out was deafening.

The crowd was ecstatic when we ended. I spotted a few girls eyes glistening with tears, and it reminded me of how I felt when I heard this song myself. I was glad that Hyung Joong and I was able to accurately convey the feelings of longing that Ji Sun and Jung Min did when singing this song.

“Kamsahamnida,” we thanked the audience as we bowed, still hand in hand.

“That was so beautiful,” one of the staff gushed backstage. “I nearly cried.”

“They were pretty good, huh?” Ssamdi commented.

“Aniya,” I said shyly. “I only hope I did Ji Sun justice."

“You did,” Hyun Joong smiled.

Holding hands with Hyun Joong brought back some memories; memories of the things that I was missing in my life. I asked myself sometimes… did I miss Jae Joong, or did I simply miss having a person to depend on, to love, to share my day, to be intimate with or to for comfort and attention. Could I simply replace him with someone else who was willing to be there for me? If only there was such a person.

Excluding those who had to run off of some other show since it was the end of the year, and the season where everyone was super busy promoting a new single, album or participating in a festive event or a radio or television program, the show ended with the entire cast singing a medley of Christmas carols.

Some of the guys ventured off the stage, onto the floor with the audience to get them to participate by singing along. At least 2 security guards had to accompany each of them to prevent the clamoring hands or a crazy fan from swallowing them whole.

We were all paired up on stage, either holding hands or having our arm slung across each others’ shoulder and somehow I ended up being paired up with Hyun Joong. Of course Skye butt in a few times as he preferred to be all over the place. Ssamdi seemed happy enough to be paired with Shoei.

To be honest, Hyun Joong reminded me a lot of Jae Joong. Sure, they were different people, but they just gave off the same vibe; quiet and stable, yet fun and crazy. Distant and sometimes cold… almost untouchable, and yet when they sang and spoke to you in earnest, their voices are filled with emotion that would touch your heart… once you‘ve learnt to read them. If I had met Hyun Joong before Jae Joong, it’s very possible I would’ve ended up with him. That is if he was even interested with me to begin with.

Hyun Joong was riding on a huge wave of popularity at the moment. Similar to Jae Joong, he was very much in the news these days. After his drama Playful Kiss, he’s started touring around Asia. He had recently returned from Singapore, and up till now S-Cube has not even started touring Southeast Asia yet.

“Pureowo…”I said to him a little later.

We were sitting outside the hall resting, each with a cup of coffee from the vending machine while waiting for the rest of them to get out of there so that we could go for a drink.

“Mwoga?” he said as he peered into the cup, studying the steam coming of his cup.

“The success you have now,” I said.

“How many times have I collapsed in the past year?” he laughed softly.

“Price to pay for the fame and money,” I replied, grinning at him.

“You think it’s worth the pain?” he asked.

“I don’t know…” I replied. “For those who feel they are living the dream, it is. For those who do it because they have nothing they can do better, it’s not.”

“Well said,” he smiled.

“So which one are you?” I asked.

“Hmm…” he said as he sipped his coffee, the sound echoed from his cup.

“Come on…” I said in English, and he made a face at me.

Hyun Joong wasn’t a bit fan of the use of English, mainly because he felt he wasn’t good at it. But I’ve always thought that his accent was fine.

“Which one do you think I am?” he turned the question back to me.

“Hmm…” I thought for a minute. “I think you’re a little of both.”

“Hahaha!” he laughed his boyish laugh. “Is that your attempt at a diplomatic answer?”

“I’m not sure…” I said, and gave him my best ditzy face.

“No wonder you drove him nuts,” he said, after making that ‘chih’ sound of air exhaled sharply between his teeth, like an old lady.

I didn’t know what I could say in reply of that statement. Maybe I did drive him nuts too often, and that made the hard times harder to bear. Maybe I pushed everything to the edge, not knowing when to stop, and this is what has become of us. In all that craziness, I do still believe he loved me, but maybe not as much as I would have wanted him to. I wish that I could tell him he did his best now, and how much he has done for me, rather than how much he has not done for me.

“Ya…” Hyun Joong called to me, waving his hand in front of my face. “Mianhae…” he said. “I didn’t mean to put it that way.”

I need to stop allowing my thoughts to read on my face like it was a notice board. There was a reason why I was never allowed solo interviews; they all knew I couldn’t handle it when forced to spill.

“Kwaench’ana,” I smiled. “All in the past.”

“No it’s not,” he said as he came to sit next to me. "Not the way I see it."

Hyun Joong put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. If you were wondering, we weren’t really stiff strangers. I’ve met him and gone out with him and Jae Joong often enough to be able to feel comfortable with him doing something like that.

“Do you know…” he said, “Jae Joong was always telling me how much you meant to him; how you were his rock. He would not have lasted those few years back without you by his side.”

“Really?” I said softly.

It’s a bit tough to hear good things about yourself, especially when you feel that the person who said it didn’t feel that way anymore. How did he expect me to believe that I was that important to a man who left me?

“Chintcha…” he said, his hand coming to the back of my head to stroke my hair. “In the years I’ve known Jae Joong, since his debut as a singer, he had never been calmer and happier till he met you. Sure you two have been through a lot together. All the fights, the arguments, the tears, but you were still the one whose hand he wanted to hold, whose voice he wanted to hear before he fell asleep.”

A single tear had rolled down my cheek, and I wiped it away as casually as I could. If I were all those things to him, why wasn’t he beside me, telling me these words right now?

“Ya… urojima…” he said. “They’re gonna be out any minute and they’re gonna beat me up for making you cry.”

“Why can’t he say all this to me in person?” I asked Hyun Joong.

“Because he’s a man…” he smiled. “And I’m being incredibly nosy. I shouldn’t have told you all that.”

“It’s much kinder to be cruel in these situations,” I smiled and he smiled back.

“I’m glad you’re finding a way to move on,” he said. “I don’t know what are the chances for the two of you to start over, but as your friend and colleague, I’d much rather see you focus on work now.”

“Araso,” I replied.

“Chal sara,” he said.

“Araso!” I laughed at his insistence.

The rest of them finally filed out of the hall and we went off for our supper and drinks. In the middle of the ‘festivities’, which meant Skye was on a chair singing and yelling again, my phone rang. The caller ID flashed Hyo Shin sonbae’s name. I was nervous for a moment. He said he’d call, but I wasn’t sure for what. I took a deep breath and answered.

“Yoboseyo?”

“Sierra?” he said my name.

I loved how he said my name. His deep husky voice sounded like he was practically singing it.

“Ne, sonbae,” I said.

“Is this a good time to talk?” he asked.

“Sure,” I said. “Chamkanmanyo. I’ll step out for awhile.”

MKR II: Chapter 3

2010-12-18T23:50:00.001+08:00

“Stop that!” Shoei said as he smacked my hand away from my lips.

They had started drying up due to the cold and dry weather at this time of the year, and I was so engrossed in my habit of picking at them. I get yelled at very often at this time of the year whenever Ji Young nuna does my makeup.

“Aigoo…” she’d exclaim. “Do you not love your looks? Why would you do this to your lips? See how much work you’re giving me to cover up the wound?”

I’ve always had this habit. It’s a nervous reaction whenever I’m thinking, or stressed out. I’m just lucky I’ve never had an infected wound from doing this. On the days when we’re busy, especially when we had lots of dance practices and performances, I’d barely have time to bring my hands to my lips. It’s when we do a lot of sitting around and talking that I do it. But I don’t do it when I’m on a live show.

“It’s bleeding now,” Skye said as he passed me a tissue.

“Komawo,” I said as I took the tissue and dabbed away the blood before applying pressure on it to stop the bleeding.

Another day was ending. We had spent the whole week promoting our new album. The night was about to end with a mini-concert for a charitable organization. It was December and Christmas was coming. We thought it would reflect well on us to support a good cause during this time of the year.

We arrived at the hall that had been done up ready for the concert. Our team had been there ahead to prepare the dressing room and test the sound before we arrived for our sound check. We slipped into the hall through the back as there was already a crowd lined up outside the hall, waiting to be allowed in.

“Yo!” Ssamdi aka Simon D of Supreme Team greeted us as he walked into the hair and makeup area.

We’d gotten him and a few other friends to join in for this charity event. It was great to see that celebrities still had enough compassion to sacrifice time without payment, even when they were so busy.

Ssamdi was a true comedian. He can be so serious when recording, or working, but when he’s goofy, he totally cracks you up. We invited him and a few other rappers because S-Cube usually had other rappers to collaborate on a song. Since rap wasn’t exactly our forte, even though Skye and Shoei did have the basics, we decided to get a few other rappers to join us for the night. The only other singer who RSVP-ed was Kim Hyun Joong of SS501. He was super busy at this time of the year, of course, but I think he decided to come just because I was Jae Joong’s ex-girlfriend.

“Ssamdi!” I exclaimed and slapped him on the arm at the same time.

“Yah! That hurts!” he complained.

“You ready for tonight, hyung?” Skye asked him.

“Am I never?” he scoffed and brushed an imaginary lint off his shoulder.

We moved on to our makeup artistes and stylists to get ready while we chattered to each other from across the room. Skye and Ssamdi started to have a rap battle of their own. I think Skye secretly wanted to be a rapper just because it felt very cool and badass to be one. But so far he’s not complained whenever we brought in other rappers to put in the rap for our songs.

“Hey Sierra,” Hyun Joong greeted me as he came to stand beside me.

“Hey,” I smiled.

Hyun Joong spoke in that quiet, gentle and polite voice that Jae Joong did, but not quite as breathy. Of course he too was prone to exhibiting some craziness sometimes, but he can be quite proper like his persona on Boys Over Flowers or even when he was on We Got Married would suggest.

Hyun Joong and I had decided on a duet, but up till now, we have not decided on the song. Rather than choose one of S-Cube’s songs, we had narrowed down to a few done by other artistes. ‘She Is’ by Clazziquai, ‘If You Can Not’ by Jisun and SS501’s Jung Min and ‘Flowerpot’ by Loveholic. ‘Flowerpot’ wasn’t exactly a duet, but since there were 2 versions done before, one by Loveholic and one by Alex of Clazziquai, we thought we could do a duet.

“Which song have we decided on?” he asked me.

“I still can’t decide?” I laughed.

“How about we do ‘Insa’?” he said, smiling slyly.

‘Insa’ was a duet Jae Joong I did few years back. It was the song that brought us together as a couple. I knew he meant it as a joke, but hearing the name of the song really stirred something within me, especially when I had just seen him less than a week ago.

I marveled how I let a person come into my life in this way. We didn’t have all the time in the world for each other. We spend long hours together each day or even depended on each other for anything other than the minimal emotional support to get through our tough times during our very taxing career. Somehow I had let this person become a part of everything in my life. He had touched every single thing in my life that I am reminded wherever I go and whatever I do.

I saw most of Seoul and South Korea with Jae Joong by my side. I can’t seem to go anywhere without being reminded by my first or last outing at any particular place with him. If we hadn’t moved to a new place, I probably would have found it harder to move on because even my own room reminded me of him. Thanks to him now, I can’t forget how he was in my room the other day.

“Haha… funny,” I replied sarcastically.

“Changnan… changnan…” he said, patting me on my hand to reassure me he was just joking. “I think either ‘She Is’ or Jung Min’s song would be good.”

“Actually, I like Jung Min’s song,” I smiled.

“Then it’s settled,” he said. “I’ll go let them know.”

He walked off to let the producer know what song we would be singing so that they could prepare the music.

We were 5 minutes away from starting the performance. The emcee was warming up the crowd, ready for the first performance. S-Cube will be the first to perform, and we will be singing our new single.

“Are you ready?” the emcee yelled and the audience screamed back at him. “Then get ready for the come back of S-Cube!”

The emcee walked offstage and we walk out onto the stage as the opening notes of Words³ started playing.

S-Cube: Words, words, words

They don’t mean a damn thing to you

Shoei: Sorry was the only word that lingered on your lips

It’s like you’re not capable of saying anything else

Tears are the only things that linger on your face

It’s like you’re not capable of doing anything else

Sierra: (Skye: I love you…) you keep saying these words

(Skye: I’m so sorry…) you think these would cure the hurt

If words meant anything, you’d turn them to actions

It’s clear that they mean nothing to you

S-Cube: Words, words, words

They don’t mean a damn thing to you

Love, love, love

These feelings don’t speak to you

Stop wasting my time, stop wasting my love

If you actually gave a damn,

You’d make those words come true

Skye: Remember (Sierra: you said), remember my face my love

Surrender (Sierra: you said), surrender your heart to me

I can see you smile through my tears

Your laughter keeps ringing through my ears

Every hour, every minute, you’re everywhere to me

S-Cube: Words, words, words

They don’t mean a damn thing to you

Love, love, love

These feelings don’t speak to you

Stop wasting my time, stop wasting my love

If you actually gave a damn,

You make those words come true

S-Cube: (Sierra: Words…) Words, words, words

They don’t mean a damn thing to you
(Sierra: A damn thing to you)

Love, love, love (Sierra: Love…)

These feelings don’t speak to you
(Sierra: These feelings don’t speak to you)

Stop wasting my time, stop wasting my love
(Sierra: my love…)

If you actually gave a damn,

You make those words come true

Skye: Baby you’d makes those words come true

Sierra: Baby stop wasting our time

Shoei: Those words, words, words

S-Cube: Words…

The audience cheered as soon as we ended and we gave a few bows before we gave our welcome speech.

“Annyeong haseyo, uri S-Cube-imnida!” we greeted, and the audience cheered in response.

“Thank you for being here tonight,” Skye said. “As we all know, tonight’s concert is for a very good cause. We hope that everyone here tonight will continue to support this cause and of course, S-Cube.”

“Enjoy the rest of the night!” I said. “We have a line-up of talented friends ready to entertain you for the next 1 hour.”

“And we hope that you enjoyed the title song from our comeback album. Yeoreobun… kamsahamnida!” Shoei said, ending our speech as we waved and left the stage.

Everyone gave their more energetic performances tonight, as they always did. Simon D pumped up the crowd with his solo rap. The very busy Seo In Young made it just in time for her number and did a rousing performance of her new single ‘Into the Rhythm’ and her ballad ‘Love is Bitter, Pain is Calling’ from her previous album.

“I can’t get over that outfit!” I told her when I saw her backstage after her performance.

“What about it?” she said.

“The rose buds!” I laughed.

“Ah… keuge,” she said, motioning to the big rosebuds strategically placed over each boob on her shirt.

“But these colors of rosebuds make the outfit less suggestive than the ones on the all black outfit,” I laughed.

“Keurae?” she smiled. “Then the outfit has gotten the effect I wanted it to.”

The performances were almost over. Hyun Joong had done his solo act earlier. After the performance of a local school choir, it would be our duet.

“You look nervous,” Ssamdi said when he spotted me on his way to get a drink.

“I’m okay,” I smiled.

“You’ll be ok,” he said, playfully punching my shoulder.

“Araso,” I smiled back.

MKR II: Chapter 2

2010-12-04T22:51:00.000+08:00

“When did you get back?” I asked him.

I hadn’t seen him in months and he appeared just like that; in my room, on my bed.

“A few hours ago,” he said, stretching and yawning at the same time.

“So you finally have time to come see me?” I said as I continued moving about the room, picking up stuff and preparing for tomorrow’s day at work.

“Mian… it’s been crazy for the past few months, or even the past year if you’ll accept it,” he said.

“Can I not?” I replied.

“I guess not,” he laughed softly.

“I guess you’re the only one who finds it funny,” I remarked.

He sighed, and got off to bed to come towards me. He turned me around so that he could hug me face to face. I stiffened. My body had almost forgotten how it felt to have him so near. For the past 6 months, at least, I was learning to forget how much I needed him near, and here he was again, forcing my body to unlearn and to accept his touch again. It took less than a few seconds. I’d encased my heart in ice for the past year since we’d started falling apart, and now it was exposed and left open for him to conquer again.

I hugged him back. Warm tears streamed down my cheeks, onto his shoulders. My fingers clutched his shirt. My entire being was engulfed in feelings of anger, yearning and relief. I was angry for being left behind. I yearned for him to come back. Now that he was back, I was relieved that he still felt the same. When I had went through those intense feelings, the final one to hit me was the most vivid; confusion. So what’s happening now? Was he back for good?

“Mianhae,” he whispered as we pulled apart.

His thumb came to sweep the tears from my face, and he kissed my forehead gently.

“Why have you come?” I finally asked him.

“I missed you,” he said. “I know I’ve been gone for so long, and I know you wouldn’t believe me, but I’ve missed you.”

“So? You just came by for a quickie?” I said.

I know it was possible the most crass thing to say at the moment, but I had to know his intentions. I wasn’t ready to go through what I’ve been through the past few months for the 2^nd time.

“No,” he said, and even smiled in spite of my harsh words. “I just came to see you and to catch up.”

“Why now? Why not 2 months ago? Why not 4 months ago?” I asked.

“Come here,” he said and pulled me towards the bed so that we could sit on the edge.

He sat down, but I refused to. Seeing him again had invoked so many feelings within me and I will continue to feel unsettled until he gave me a final decision.

“I just want to get this clear before we move forward,” I said. “I can’t go on wondering when you would choose to reappear again.”

“Didn’t we agree on a break?” he asked.

“Yes, but you didn’t say till when,” I pointed out. “So are you back from your break now?”

“I know I didn’t say when. I’m still not sure if I’m ready to come back or be there for you the way I used to.”

“So you’re here today to mess up all my hard work?”

“Hard work?” he said, puzzled.

“Do you think it’s easy for me to try and forget and carry on without you in my life?” I asked him. “I know we’ve always been busy and we didn’t spend each and every day with each other, but knowing you were there all this time made a difference to me. For past year, I had to learn to stop depending on you for emotional support and for your physical presence.”

By now, the tears had reappeared again. I was already physically tired today and it really wasn’t the time to have to deal with this since I had a long day ahead tomorrow.

The past year had been tough for me. I had to learn to manage without him by my side. I couldn’t text him, I couldn’t send him messages on Cyworld and I hardly saw him on NateOn. I tried cutting myself off totally in the beginning, and I just felt it hurt too much. In the end, we just started communicating again on Twitter and via the occasional email.

The pain had ebbed to a dull ache, but now it was wreaking its pain within my chest again. I felt that any minute I would be gasping for air again and desperately clutching at straws. I had trained my heart to forget how it felt to see his face, and here he was again, bringing it back to life.

“Mianhae…” he said as he rubbed his hands on each of my arms and shoulders.

He pulled me towards him to hug me again. If there was one thing he knew best, it was how a hug never failed to reassure me. I wrapped my arms around him and started sobbing again.

“Sierra,” he whispered. “I’m sorry I have no decision yet. My schedule is still crazy for the next few months. I’ll be touring still and I can hardly be there for you.”

He let go of me and scooted up the bed, then motioned for me to join him. I was too tired to question or talk anymore, so I moved up and went under the covers. He too went under the covers and pulled me closer so that I could rest on his chest, with his arms around me.

“I came to check in on you. I had to see for myself if you were well, and I think you’re doing a great job,” he said as he stroked my hair.

“So you’ll be gone again tomorrow?” I murmured. I was getting sleepy, and being in his arms like this always made me feel calm and relaxed, even in the situation we were in at the moment.

I think my mind just wanted to pretend I was safe and happy at the moment. I just wanted to imagine that everything was fine for 1 night and carry on as if things had always been.

“I’ll be flying off tomorrow afternoon, but I’ll be back in a few weeks,” he said. “I’ll see you then, okay?”

“Mm…” I replied, closing my eyes.

I wasn’t going to argue anymore. I know that tomorrow, I’d probably feel like crap for letting him go without cutting him into tiny little pieces, but I just wanted to be with him tonight. I missed him too much.

“Go to sleep,” he said, as he pulled the stray hairs from my face to tuck them behind my ear.

“Kajima…” I mumbled, telling him to stay for the night.

“I’ll stay tonight,” he reassured me as he leaned over to turn off the lights and he adjusted himself so that we were sleeping in our usual cuddling position.

I fell into a deep sleep and didn’t wake up until my alarm rang. I reached over to my bedside table to turn it off, and that’s when I realized he was gone. I felt like I had dreamt it all. How he was here, talking to me, holding me, and I woke up alone again. I reached for my bolster and hugged it tightly, trying to fill that empty hole that had suddenly started growing within me again. He probably had an earlier day than me today and having stayed the night at my place meant that he still had to rush home to get ready for his day since none of his stuff were at my place anymore. I’d sent them back to the apartment he shared with SS501’s Kim Hyun Joong on the day I moved to this new apartment.

I dragged myself out of bed after snoozing for another 5 to 10 minutes and started getting ready for my day. When I finally emerged from my room, I saw Skye and Shoei happily digging into a mini breakfast feast on the table.

“Nuna,” Skye said, his mouth full of rice. “Did you wake up to cook this?”

“Do you think I’m some kind of super human?” I asked him as I sat down in front of my bowl of rice.

“Then who did?” Skye asked.

“Who did you let into our house last night?” I asked him.

“Oh…” he said, realizing it was probably Jae Joong.

“Looks like he still really cares,” Shoei pointed out.

“Yea… he does. So what now?” I said and started eating too.

“Hmm…” was all Shoei could reply.

The day went on as scheduled. We were due at several radio shows start from 8am until lunch time. We managed to squeeze a meal before the lunch time show at the cafeteria of the radio station. As we walked in, the staff who knew us greeted us before continuing with their meals, those walking out gave us quick bows and greetings and we bowed and greeted in return.

“Sierra -shi!” a familiar voice called out to me.

I turned to it and my face broke into a huge smile. One of my greatest idols in the industry, Park Hyo Shin.

“Sonbae,” I waved back.

“See how he only calls out to her,” Skye whispered to Shoei. “It’s as if we were invisible.”

“Sonbae,” Shoei called out too, trying not to laugh at Skye’s comment.

We walked towards his table where he was already eating with several members of his staff.

“Pab mogosseo?” he asked us.

“Aniyo,” I smiled. “We just got here and we’re squeezing in a quick bite.”

“Sonbae,” Skye said. “Why did you only greet Sierra and not us?” he said, like a petulant child.

“Oh, keurae? I thought I greeted all of you,” Hyo Shin sonbae laughed. “Mianhae, Skye… Shoei,” he said as he made separate bows to them.

Shoei and Skye we close to being horrified by the show of respect and start bowing repeatedly at Hyo Shin sonbae. I couldn’t help but laugh at their antics.

“Anjayo,” Hyo Shin sonbae said, gesturing at the empty chairs at his table.

We sat down and it almost like magic, our team was back with food for us as well. While Skye and Shoei immediately dug in and took huge pieces of kimchi and slurped them up, I fished for the smaller pieces and mixed them in my rice together with kochujang to make my own bibimbap.

“Kimchi shireo?” Hyo Shin sonbae asked me.

“It took her almost 4 years to learn to like kimchi just a little bit,” Skye said.

“Chintcha?” Hyo Shin sonbae exclaimed.

“Mianhae,” I smiled through the mouthful of rice I just put in my mouth. “I’m not really in love with kimchi, but I do love bibimbap.”

“Her main staples are ramyeon and bibimbap,” Shoei said.

“And you’ve been living here for more than 5 years,” Hyo Shin sonbae said.

“Ne,” I replied. “I’m trying hard to adapt,” I added in my defense.

“But seriously,” he said. “Is it so hard to get used to the food here?”

“I’m alright with the food. I just don’t happen to love kimchi,” I laughed.

“Keurae…” he laughed. “Araso.”

Our conversations flowed easily throughout the meal. Thanks in no small part to Skye, who was always a catalyst, and also the fact that Hyo Shin sonbae was a very approachable person.

I don’t think I’ve explained how I got to know Hyo Shin sonbae. Sure… all singers and actors knew each other, but whether we just knew each others’ names or we’ve had the pleasure, or displeasure, of getting to know each other just a little bit made a difference.

I met Hyo Shin sonbae on a radio show when we both happened to be promoting our singles at the same time. We had a great time during our first up-close encounter on the show, and after that, we made it a point to say hello and have quick conversations whenever we bumped into each other. He has always been one of the artistes I respected and up till today I’m still hoping we would have a chance to collaborate or at least perform together.

“It’s time,” one of our assistants reminded us.

We quickly scoffed down the rest of our food and said our quick goodbyes before rushing off.

“I’ll give you a call next week,” Hyo Shin sonbae said to me.

“Ne,” I bowed and smiled at him before leaving the table.

“Why is he calling you?” Shoei asked. “Is he gonna ask you on a date?”

“Don’t be silly,” I said, ruffling his hair as I did and earning an annoyed face from him. Guys in this business are really too conscious about their hair, except the bald ones.

“You’ll never know…” Skye sang as we continued walking.

Honestly, I really don’t know why he would want to call me. Did we even exchange numbers before?

MKR II: Chapter 1

2010-11-21T15:59:00.002+08:00

“S-Cube!” the emcee announced and confetti exploded all over the stage and everyone was cheering.

We looked around us, at Brown Eyed Girls and T-ara who had been on the stage with us. They were all clapping and we were simply too shocked to react. We had won 'Song of the Week' on Inkigayo.

“Chukahamnida!” the emcees congratulated us as they walked forward with flowers and the trophy.

Skye was the first to react and walked forward to intercept the trophy on behalf of our group. Shoei was next to move, and he walked forward to intercept the flowers and passed it on to me.

“Sierra-shi, how do you feel?” the emcee asked me.

“I’m speechless,” I replied, and a smile started spreading on my face.

“Fan-deul… kamsahamnida!” Skye finished up the sentence for me.

“Ne,” I replied. “Neomu kamsahamnida.”

“Without the support of our fans, S-Cube would not be able to make this come back such a success. Kamsahamnida!” Shoei said.

We are S-Cube. Sierra. Skye. Shoei. Together, we are the power of 3, which gave our band its name. We were once artistes under the label of SM Entertainment or simply known as SM. Tonight was our comeback with a new album label after our contracts had expired with SM. It was a long and painful journey since we’d left our big label to start up our own label and to be able to win today’s prize, but it was worth every blood, sweat and tear that was shed along the way.

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Sierra. I’m 27 this year, and I hail from Malaysia. One would wonder how a Malaysian got to be in a Korean band. I would say that it was nothing short of a miracle that I was selected the first year SM decided to hold auditions in my country.

When I arrived in Seoul, I was immediately designated to a band that already consisted of 2 guys aged 3 years younger than I was. One South Korean, and one Japanese. You guessed it; Skye and Shoei. Both were fluent in English and in Korean, and Shoei of course spoke Japanese. Other than English, I brought a few more languages to the table; Malay and Chinese, and I had to learn my Korean from scratch in the 9 months before my debut.

Skye and Shoei’s contracts had expired about a year ago. They spent the year building our new label and waiting for my contract to expire so that I could join them. Rather than go through what Shinhwa did, all we asked for was our band’s name. We’d decided that we would never sing the songs we sang in the past 5 years. We would sing our own songs now. The songs we wanted to share with the world.

“That was awesome!” Skye exclaimed as we walked off the stage.

It’s been so many years and he never fails to get psyched up after a good show. He has never had stage fright either. Skye was a born performer. Shoei was a born performer too, but he exuded a different aura. While Skye bounced all over the stage and hypes up the crowd, Shoei mesmerized them with his soothing voice and powerful presence. Me? I still feel ordinary after being a part of the band all these years.

When they first left SM. The company didn’t know what to do with me. My solo album had done fairly well and left me in pretty good demand for collaboration projects. Because of that, I was thrown from one project group to another, collaborating with every single SM artiste that was available; from Super Junior to Shinee, and Girls’ Generation to f(x). Then there were a few other collaborations with artistes from other labels; TOP from Big Bang, Nassun and one of the highlights of my career, Outsider. I felt like a boomerang being thrown from every which way and still coming back to SM, until my contract expired, and I was allowed to pursue my own career with another label.

Technically, Skye owned the majority stocks in our new label, simply known as S. S for sound, serenade, whatever S-word to do with music you could think of. Shoei and I were foreigners, so by law, we couldn’t own that much stock. In fact, our label currently employs us both as performers and sponsors our work permits in South Korea.

“You should just get married,” Skye once joked. “Then you could apply for citizenship.”

“Why would I want to be a citizen of your country?” I scoffed.

“You’d have to be if you married a local,” he pointed out.

“I can always just apply to be a permanent resident. I have no need to be a citizen. Besides… my country doesn’t allow dual citizenship,” I said.

“Why would anyone pass up being a Korean?” he asked.

“Cos unlike the idolizers, I have some integrity?” I laughed.

“I pity your husband-to-be,” he said, and I rewarded him with a thump on his arm.

My husband-to-be… I had one, sometime ago. You’re probably thinking if I were a celebrity, naturally I would have dated one too. You’re right! In my craziest dream had I never imagined that I could have my cake and eat it too. Not only did I fulfill my dream of being a singer in South Korea, I was dating one of the most eligible bachelors in K-Pop. No prizes for guessing… Kim Jae Joong of the former TVXQ, and currently of JYJ.

The same year Skye and Shoei’s contracts ended, Jae Joong, Jun Su and Yoo Chun filed a lawsuit to have their contracts with SM terminated. But that’s their story, so let’s not get into that. The pressure of the lawsuits and the attention he was getting from the press during that time overwhelmed us, and we decided to take a temporary break. It’s been more than 6 months.

Jae Joong and I kept in contact via Twitter and emails. Since he started preparing for his English album and I was preparing for S-Cube’s new album, we hardly had time to keep in contact at all. His last few communications went something like this:

@sierraS3 I’m in Malaysia!!!

@sierraS3 I’m in Singapore!!! Chilli crabs!!!
@sierraS3 In NYC. Missed the last time we were here together.

S-Cube and TVXQ had performed at Madison Square Garden a few years back. It was S-Cube’s first sold-out concert, thanks to TVXQ. It was one of those performances that we’d never forget, and the time we spent there were equally unforgettable too. Those were the best days of our lives as singers with SM.

Today had been eventful. We’d won ‘Song of the Week’ on Inkigayo. Sure, our comeback had been anticipated. Pre-sales figures of our album was promising, but we didn’t think it would guarantee us a spot in the Top 3 so easily. We’d initially expected to have to promote our new album for a good 2 weeks before we saw a significant climb. But we made it!

“Good job guys,” I said as I hugged Skye and Shoei backstage.

“It’s great to be performing together again,” Shoei smiled. “I really missed this for the past year.”

“Me too,” I laughed. “I can’t believe the turn out today. Our fans have really proven their loyalty.”

“Thanks to me,” Skye joked, and we all laughed indulgently.

If you thought the night for us ended after the Inkigayo performance, it didn’t. We had to rush off to a radio show and then back to our offices to tie up some loose ends before wrapping up for the night. Times like this made me miss Shi Kyung hyung, our manager when we were with SM. When our contracts ended, he’d decided to end his employment with SM. He has since gotten married and started a small business with his new wife. Life as an artiste manager was super tough. For that, we fully understood why he had turned us down when we’d offered him a position at our new label.

We got home a little after 1am that day. Skye and Shoei had found us a new apartment before my contract ended. I had been living alone until my contract with SM ended, and I’ve only moved into this new place 4 months ago. I loved what they had done to the place, partly because I had a little input this time. We’d decided to go for a minimalist design. Monochrome colors for the living areas and simple furniture like a comfy black leather sofa, black chairs with leather upholstered seats, glass topped coffee and dining tables and some cool lamps and lights we picked up whenever we spotted any interesting ones.

It was a mad rush for me for the past 4 months, to record all the missing pieces. I gave Skye and Shoei feedback for the songs on this album even when I was still with SM, but I was unable to be part of the song writing process. Because of the situation we were in, this album was more or less Skye and Shoei’s style, and less of mine. They promised me at least 2 songs that were wholly written by me in our next album. I just hope I will do the next album justice.

I walked into my new room. It was still in the same minimalist design, but I couldn’t resist adding in my favorite color, blue. My bed frame was white, and it had extended edges beyond the mattress that were very useful when Skye or Shoei needed a place to perch while talking to me if they hadn’t showered yet. I absolutely hated it when they rolled around in my bed in clothes they had been wearing out the entire day. I invested in lots of dark blue sheets and white pillows to match. Even my blankets were dark blue.

“I can take a swim in your bed,” Shoei said when I first made it up, and he dived onto it. “I feel like I’m in the sea,” Shoei said as he started doing the backstroke.

The rest of my furniture was white and silver, the last touch of blue was on the walls. I had my room painted sky blue with swirly white patterns that somewhat looked like clouds. I also made sure that my ceiling matched, which prompted Shoei’s last statement. In the center of the room was a ceiling fan cum chandelier of lights with a mini lampshade attached onto each bulb. Coming home each day felt good these days. It felt like I was returning to my very own sanctuary.

To top it all off, the guys had very thoughtfully given me the master bedroom which had an attached bathroom since I was the only girl in the house. No prizes for guessing that I’d also done up the bathroom to fit my style. I couldn’t do much about the shower area, but we managed to bring in an antique bathtub and changed the sink and vanity area to match it a little.

I showered slowly, enjoying the hot water in a way we were never able to in the past. We’d recently invested in better heater, which meant more hot water for everyone at any time of the day. After showering, I went through my usual face and body care routine before putting on my pajamas.

After all that necessary routine, I walked into my room, ready to knock myself out for the night, and there he was, sitting on my bed.

REBOOT!!!

2010-11-20T00:36:00.004+08:00

I’m aware that it may feel a little like cheating, but this will be the only way I can start writing MKR again. What’s gonna happen is that we’re gonna reset the story. TVXQ has already disbanded, and JYJ has been formed. Most of the fictional bands formed in the past MKR will probably not exist in this version of MKR and I will start incorporating all the current girl and boy bands and also celebs of the current times.

You may see that the timeline is pretty warped from where I left off, but let’s ignore that and just pretend it’s an extension and also an alternate version of the original MKR. As for where Sierra and Jae Joong’s relationship are at, you’ll have to read to find out ^_^

My schedule should only allow me update on weekends. At best, every weekend. Worse case should be every other weekend. Mianhae... T_T I've contemplated if I needed a new URL for the new MKR and decided to keep the old one since my readers would remember this link better.

Chapter 1 coming soon... really soon... watch this space!

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

2010-01-31T03:48:00.005+08:00

I'm sorry that this announcement has come so late...

I know that number 1 the reason this fiction had been put on hold for so long was because of my personal procrastination. I will be able to put up another chapter or 2, but after that, I will have to put this on hold until the TVXQ vs SM Entertainment lawsuit is settled. Because the timeline of this fiction has now coincide with the current one in reality, I do not feel comfortable continuing until I see a more stable 'environment' for me to continue writing with.

As my loyal readers would know, all this time, MKR was a story which was written in a style that blended reality with fantasy, and in order to keep that balance, I would have to wait until enough is known about the future before I can write the upcoming chapters. I have no desire to write a purely fictional MKR.

So... once again, I do apologise. I hope everything will fall into place soon, and I will do my best to keep up with news and do enough research to continue writing quality chapters in the future. Please drop me an email at sierraskyeshoei@yahoo.com if you wish to be part of my mailing list. I will be sure that those in my mailing list are the first to know when I next update.

Thanks a lot... and I love y'all!!!

~Sierra

Chapter 152: Share the World

2009-08-21T16:49:00.004+08:00

Dearest Lizzy,

I am truly mortified with myself... so sorry... T_T I managed to finish this just yesterday... so here it is. Hope it's not too shabby =.=

Hugs!

-Sierra

******

[[S-Cube 4th Album Launch]]

Reporters: Can you give us an overview of your new album?

Shoei: It’s an album of covers of the songs that have inspired us throughout our career in music, and in life.

Sierra: We were asked to select songs that we found inspiring, songs that had influenced our emotions at one point of our lives, and songs that were our favorites.

Reporters: There has been speculation that an album of covers was done because the company was trying to save time and cut corners so that you could put out an album in time for the awards season. Any comments on that, since writing and producing new songs would have taken too much time?

Sierra: Of course new songs would require more work, but we didn’t just take these existing songs and recorded them just as they were. We used the lyrics, we used the music, but we still had to alter them so that they matched our style.

Skye: What we feel was done for this album was that we took good songs, and made them our own through adding elements that made it distinctly our sounds.

Shoei: You may have noticed that there were a lot of classics, which meant we had to update them with fresh sounds to make sure they appealed to the listeners today. We wanted to share the songs we loved, and make the process of introducing them interesting and fun.

Reporters: And what is the style concept for the new album?

Skye: We’re going for classic glamour. Most of the songs in the album are classics. Of course we have some recent hits, but you can see that they are predominantly songs from the 90s, 80s and older.

Reporters: Any comments on the MV concept? The relationships between band members in bands with men and women have always been the debate of the media. How do you feel that this was the concept chosen?

Sierra: As always, it is a controversial topic, but we would like all viewers to remember that it’s just a music video. There is no subliminal message and the main purpose is to convey the emotion and topic of the song.

Skye: We find it funny when people still manage to pick up this topic and insinuate that there is truth in it. Of course there are bands where their members end up dating each other, but ours isn’t one of them. But to make it clear so that the media does not create any misunderstandings, we’re siblings.

Reporters: Then does each and every one of you actually have active love lives? We all know that Sierra is dating Kim Jae Joong of TVXQ, but what about Skye and Shoei?

Shoei: I’m married! (laughs)

Skye: Shoei is married… as we all know. As for me, I’m still waiting for the right girl to come along. Then again, this wouldn’t be a very good time to start dating. Our careers are our focus at this time.

Reporters: Getting married soon, Sierra?

Sierra: This question is old… (smiling) Can I have the next one?

Reporters: We noticed that there is a bonus track, a solo by Sierra in this album. Is this the preview to your upcoming solo project?

Sierra: You can say it is. Skye and Shoei kind enough to allow me to slot my solo into the CD so that everyone would be able to anticipate my upcoming mini album.

Shoei: Sierra’s solo will be out in a few weeks, what better way for us to support her as band mates then to use our new album to help her get some exposure.

Reporters: We’ve received the official press release, but there’s no update on who you’re working with on this project. There are rumors on the internet that some YG artistes have been enlisted. This would be one of the rare collaborations between SM and YG artistes. Can you give us some updates on what to expect?

Sierra: Because the management was prepared for this question today, I have been authorized to reveal that we are working with YG. G-Dragon of Big Bang has been producing this mini album, and T.O.P will be featured in the title song.

Reporters: So the rumors were pretty accurate.

Sierra: Thanks to the fans who are always outside the studios. We can’t keep it a secret that G-Dragon and T.O.P have been coming and going since people have seen them show up at the studios. We had initially planned to make it a big surprise, but I guess now the only surprise left would be how the mini album will sound in the end.

Reporters: And what will be the concept of your mini album?

Sierra: That will be revealed at the launch. (pauses) I think we have talked enough about my coming solo debut, maybe we should get back to the topic of S-Cube’s new album.

Reporters: Which songs would S-Cube recommend to those who are buying the album?

Shoei: ‘Just a Feeling’ is good, and you will all have already heard ‘L.O.V.E’ on the drama ‘Girls on Top’.

Skye: ‘I’ll Never Fall In Love Again’ and ‘Suddenly’.

Sierra: My favorites are ‘Sara’, ‘The Rest of Your Life’ and ‘Spin Around’.

Skye: I think we’ve managed to find a selection of songs that were made popular in the previous decades. It will be nice to introduce some of these songs to the current music enthusiasts and to see their reactions to them.

Shoei: If everyone hates the album, then we’ll know that we have really weird tastes in music (laughs).

[Shoei’s POV]

The album launch ended pretty quickly this time, compared to the previous ones. I suppose the lack of scandals made it hard for the reporters to ask prying questions. I’d say that this album launch is the least eventful one, but hopefully there had been enough hype to push the album sales up.

“Omigod…” nuna breathed out in relief as she fell onto the couch in the holding room after the conference.

“Get your butt up,” Shi Kyung hyung said to her. “We have a radio interview to rush to.”

“Ah… hyung… just one minute,” nuna whined.

“Get up, big butt,” Skye said, and dragged nuna up by her outstretched arms.

“Shut up, you monkey,” nuna growled but let him pull her up anyway.

Nuna’s a little sensitive about her butt. Everyone knows how Jun Su of TVXQ is famous for his duck butt. Nuna is famous for her very curvy derriere. It wasn’t as evident when she debut, because she was slimmer back then. But as the years when by, and she started to put on a bit more weight, she started to get bigger hips, and her butt grew in size to match.

When the media photographing her in all those fitting qipao dresses during the awards season, the netizens started noticing and there had been a flurry of obsessive discussion about it for a long time. Eventually, the media caught on and took every opportunity to provide photos of nuna which the netizens could pick on and comment.

Some called her one of the ultimate S-line, some said she didn’t qualify because her top wasn’t ‘heavy enough’. Some said it was garish of her to wear fitting clothes, and the perverts would leave lots and lots of lewd comments on how they’d love to get their hands on her butt.

You’d think after all these comments, she’d start wearing baggy pants and long skirts to hide them, but she just ignored them and continued wearing whatever clothes she liked. She doesn’t like it when people comment on how big her butt is, but she doesn’t mind when people tell her how having a big butt makes her look good in jeans and form-fitting dresses.

We spent the rest of the day zipping around from one studio to another for various interviews. This 4th album launch was surprisingly uneventful. We got pretty tame and routine questions from most of the interviewers. It wasn’t until we got to SUKIRA that the fun really began. Ee Teuk hyung and Eun Hyuk were on duty today and they had lots of fun asking questions in the oddest ways possible, and as always, imitating us.

“So… this album is filled with oldies,” Eun Hyuk said.

“Classics… they’re called classics,” Ee Teuk corrected.

“Choesonghamnida,” Eun Hyuk said. “Classics…”

“No, no…” nuna smiled. “He’s right to say oldies… some of these songs were popular even before my parents’ time.”

“Of course it would be politically correct to refer to them as classics,” Skye interjected.

“Keuraechyeo…” Ee Teuk hyung said.

“So how did you guys decide on putting out an album filled with classics?” Eun Hyuk asked.

“Well… any artistes’ biggest dream would be to actually do the music they love. So for this album, we decided we’d share the songs we loved with our fans.”

“No offense… but are classics all you 3 listen to?” Ee Teuk asked.

“Of course not,” nuna said. “These are just the songs that planted the love for music within us. These are songs that shaped the artistes we are today. That is why we wanted to share them with our fans… to give them an idea where S-Cube got their musical roots from.”

“And some of these songs might be a far cry from the kind of music we do today, which was why we tried our best to change the way these songs are sung so that they’d sound closer to S-Cube’s current works. We tried to make sure the fans wouldn’t feel that the songs sounded too foreign from the genre S-Cube usually did, but we’re also going for the critics’ approval,” Skye added.

“Sounds fun, sounds ambitious, and I am dying to see how this would take off,” Ee Teuk said. “So let us listen to your first single off this new album. I’ve seen the MV, and let me say… it was fabulously glam!” he squealed.

“He kept saying he should’ve been in it,” Eun Hyuk laughed. “Would you like to introduce it?” he asked me.

“This song is entitled ‘Just A Feeling’,” I said. “We hope you like it.”

They played the song, and Ee Teuk and Eun Hyuk did a silent skit, parodying our MV which involved a lot of tango moves and glaring at each other. We were all in stitches, trying to control our laughter as the song was ending, because we’d be on air again. It was the most fun interview of the day.

[Sierra’s POV]

The last interview had wrapped, but my next job had just started. We were doing a late studio recording for the MV of ‘Crazy’. It was cold, and I had nothing to wear but a mini dress and a fur-trimmed vest. Seung Hyun got lucky; he got to wear a full suit.

“Hey laydee…” he drawled when we met up at the shoot location.

It was a mock concert stage, and we even had extras to play concertgoers. Some of the extras were volunteers from Seung Hyun’s cafe. He’d notified the leader and made it a secret project for his fans to participate in.

“Hey sexy,” I laughed.

“How did you know my name?” he pretended to be shocked.

“It’s written all over your sexy body and face,” I replied.

“You bet it is…” he laughed.

“I’m freezing!” I complained.

The coordinator had provided me with a coat for now, but my legs were still freezing, when with tights on.

“The pain of beauty,” he laughed. “Want me to warm your legs?” he wiggled his eyebrows at me.

“I’ll take my chance with frostbite,” I said,” taking a step back from him.

“I was just being thoughtful,” he said, putting his hands up and pretending to sound offended.

“Places!” the producer shouted.

“Let’s go,” he said as he ascended a step up the side of the stage, and held his hand out to assist me.

I shrugged off the coat and put my hand in his, allowing him to lead me up the stairs. It wasn’t a real concert, but standing up there, being blinded by the lights and hearing the fans scream our names, I can’t help but feel butterflies fluttering within me.

Chapter 151: You Only Love

2009-06-05T23:59:00.001+08:00

“What? What?” Jae Joong exclaimed, pausing his game.

“You have got to listen to this song,” he said, passing the player to Jae Joong and replaying the song for him.

It was the same reaction with Jae Joong; a few seconds of silence, then he burst into laughter as well.

“What inspired this song?” Jae Joong exclaimed. “Not me, I hope.”

“I didn’t write it,” I smirked.

“This is some work,” Tae Goon laughed. “I can only picture me with a doggie collar, trailing after you wherever you go in the MV.”

“Not a bad idea,” Jae Joong said.

“No!” Tae Goon exclaimed. “You didn’t have a dog collar in my MV.”

“There’ll be no dog collar!” I said.

“Then tell me what will I be doing,” he said.

“I don’t know for sure,” I said. “But I have been told it’s going to be a light-hearted video. Most probably you get to ‘man-up’ by the end of the video.”

“I’m picturing you with your hair combed flat and wearing glasses, knitted vest, shorts, and socks that cover your shins,” Jae Joong laughed.

“I think that would be the general good boy image,” I smiled. “We may go differently. We’ll try to redefine a good boy’s look.”

“So you’re giving me no choice,” Tae Goon said.

“I’m asking you as a friend,” I said.

“Then as a friend, I’d have to agree,” he smiled.

“Thank you!” I exclaimed, and gave him a quick hug.

“Hey! Is that a prelude to what you 2 will be doing behind my back on set?” Jae Joong said.

“I’ll take real good care of her,” Tae Goon said in a suggestive tone and slung his arm around my shoulder.

“Ya!” Jae Joong exclaimed, and I quickly scooted away from Tae Goon, over to him.

“Chagiya… I love you, and you alone,” I cooed, as I wrapped myself around his arm and clung to it.

“Araso… araso…” he laughed.

“My turn,” Tae Goon said and grabbed the controller from Jae Joong’s hands.

“So we’re on?” I confirmed with Tae Goon once again.

“Sure,” he said, his eyes stuck to the television screen now. “Just contact my manager. I’ll tell him I agreed.”

Tae Goon went off after our game session, so Jae Joong and I decided to have dinner together before he dashed off on the last flight of the day.

“Himdeureosseo?” I asked him.

We decided to have barbequed meat for dinner since Jae Joong missed it, along with his extra spicy kimch’i chiggae. I had seaweed soup as always, and jabchae.

“I’m fine,’ he smiled, and held out the pork he’d just wrapped in lettuce, indicating for me to eat it.

“Do you always have to make me such a big one?” I laughed, but allowed him to stuff it in my mouth.

“The size of the wrap represents the volume of my love for you,” he said, and laughed at his own cheesiness.

“Tokyo is bad for you,” I laughed. “It’s making you all sappy and girly.”

“I just miss Seoul, and you,” he smiled.

“You’ll come back soon,” I said, and started making him a wrap as well.

“I think we’ll be spending half our yearly schedule in Japan from now on,” he said.

“Chintcha?” I said, and fed him the wrapped up barbequed meat.

“You know we’re doing well there. They don’t want to miss out,” he said, while he chewed.

“Yes… I know… the most No.1s on the Oricon chart for a foreign artiste,” I smiled.

S-Cube has never gotten a No.1 song on the Oricon chart. We once peaked at No.5, but that was it.

“Well, coincidentally, we’ll be going to Japan as well,” I said.

“Good,” he said. “It’s for the 4th album, right?”

“Yes, but that would be next year, after the awards season.”

“It’s better than not being able to see you,” he said. “So what’s your schedule like for the next month?”

“Hmm… the 4th album is done. We’re launching on Thursday, then there’ll be a few live performances on music shows. The mini-album is almost done. I’ll be squeezing in the filming of the MVs between promoting the 4th album, and we’ll probably release it by the end of October.”

“This looks like one of the fastest productions I’ve ever seen,” he said.

“Yea… I thought they’d take their own sweet time with my solo debut, but they’re really speeding through it. They’d chosen most of the songs I’d written, and Ji Yong did all the composing and arrangement. Only 2 songs were written by Ji Yong,” I said.

“The one with the ‘good dog - bad dog’ lyrics?” he asked, smiling.

“Yea… I was a bit skeptical at first, but once I did it, it sounded really fun. It’s something different.”

“Different from the usual idol groups. It sounds more like a song After School would sing,” he laughed.

“They’re going for the ‘versatility concept’,” I said. “They wanna show everyone that I can do anything.”

“And you can,” he said.

“Everyone tells me I can,” I smiled.

“We’ve been through this again, and again,” he said, and reached out to tweak my nose.

“Oi!” I exclaimed, and rubbed my nose.

“You’ll be fine,” he said.

“Ara…” I replied.

After dinner, Jae Joong dropped me off at my apartment. He will meet someone who will send him to the airport and send his car back to his apartment.

“You should really get your license,” he complained, and kissed my forehead.

“I will,” I said. “On my next break.”

“I know you’re afraid of driving on the right side of the road,” he said. “But you need to get around.”

“Ani… I’m afraid of driving on the wrong side of the road,” I joked, and he smacked me on my butt.

“Be serious,” he laughed.

“You’re the one who’s laughing,” I giggled.

He pulled me into a hug, and I rested my head on his shoulder.

“You’re getting thinner again,” I murmured into his ear.

“Cos I don’t get any good Chinese food there,” he replied.

“I’ll visit soon,” I said. “Eat well while I’m not there.”

“Mm…” he replied, and tightened his arms around me.

“Chalga,” I said, and kissed him lightly below his ear.

He released me a little, so that we could face each other to share a kiss. He slung his arms on my hips as we kissed, and I reached up to cup his face with my hands, to pull him closer and deepen the kiss.

“I’ll call you later,” he said, when we finally broke the kiss.

“Okay,” I replied, and stepped back a little.

We held on to each others’ hands, as we slowly stepped apart, until we were too far to hold on any longer. We let go, and I waved. He waved, then got into his car. I watched as he drove off.

There were times I’d forget how Jae Joong made me feel. How his smile brightened the room when he was there. How his laughter infected me, and made me laugh along. He may be the most beautiful man I’ve ever known, and the pressure of living up to the role of his “other half” can be demanding, but at the end of the day, the love he gave me just made everything worth it. I go to sleep everything, knowing how blessed I am to have him in my life, even if he wasn’t there 24/7.

[Skye’s POV]

We’re launching our new album today. We’ve been sitting in the holding room for about half an hour, waiting to enter the hall where the press conference would be held. Our style concept for this album was classic glamour, so Shoei and I were in suits, while nuna wore that flapper dress she had worn for the MV shoot the other day.

“Are you guys ready?” Shi Kyung hyung asked.

“Ne,” we replied.

Until today, he still liked to ask if we were ready. It was his way of giving us a pep talk without having to make a speech.

“5 minutes,” he told us, and walked off to talk to one of the producers.

“Ready?” I asked nuna, imitating him.

“Ne!” she replied in an extra perky voice.

“Ready?” I asked Shoei.

“Ne!” he yawned, and laughed.

We started getting up and ambling towards the door.

“Aaghh… pins and needles!” nuna exclaimed, and hopped on one leg.

I laughed and reached out to slap the affected leg.

“Aaah!” she exclaimed. “Skye!”

“That’s supposed to get the circulation going and end it quickly.”

“It hurts!” she punched my arm.

Just then my phone beeped.

“Turn it off,” Shoei reminded me.

I smiled and put it on silent, then checked the message that had just come in.

Yeobo… you can do it! Hwaiting!

I smiled at the text message from Hae Rin. With her support, I can do anything. But of course, I need nuna and Shoei’s support as well.

The doors opened, and we walked in. The press clapped politely, while our fanclub, S3, cheered crazily from behind. Not all of them were here today, because there was limited capacity in the hall. There was a lottery system to decide who could attend our press conference. They’d been given strict instructions to behave since the conference was mainly meant for the press.

“Thank you for coming,” nuna spoke into the microphone in front of her. “To start off the press conference, please enjoy our new MV, ‘Just a Feeling’.”

The music came on, and the MV started with a slideshow of our photos from the photo shoot, taken in sepia mode. When the first line was sung, the screen showed nuna getting the final touches of her makeup done. The camera cuts to Shoei, who’s getting dressed by a coordinator. Finally the camera comes to me, staring at notes on a piece of paper, rehearsing.

The video then jumps to scenes of our photo shoots, heavily focusing on the theme of me and Shoei being rivals for nuna’s affections, and me being left out. I wondered what went on in the producers’ minds when they decided the concept. It seemed like they liked to create speculations about our relationship with each other. If nuna wasn’t attached to Jae Joong hyung, everyone would definitely believe that she had some kind of scandalous relationship with either Shoei or me.

I just noticed now in the video, when we were doing the ‘Hollywood glamour’ scene, that Shoei was doing his lovesick look again. It has been a long time since I’d seen him look at nuna like that, but I suppose since we were doing an MV where he and her were a couple, he felt free to wear his real emotions on his sleeve. I’d always wondered how he could bear it. We’ve been together as a band for almost 5 years now, and he still felt the same about nuna as he did from the day he’d met her.

If it had been me, I’d had left the band long ago or I’d have found another girl so that I could forget her. Being Shoei, he stuck around, willingly torturing himself with his emotions, and up till now, he has not dated or even looked at any other girl. The closest thing he’s done which bordered on removing himself from nuna was to be paired with Su Bin on ‘We Got Married’.

Perhaps it’s karma. Perhaps in their past lives, it was nuna’s love for Shoei which was unrequited, so he was paying for it in this life. I’m a big believer of the phrase ‘what goes around comes around’. How else can you explain why a man would willingly stand by a woman, waiting to be her safety net when she needed him, fully knowing that no matter how many times he’d saved her, she would never belong to him?

I looked at the both of them. They were watching the screen with serious looks on their faces. I wondered what was going on in their minds.

At the chorus, the scene cut to the one where nuna had on her big hair and gold dress with huge shoulder pads. My lips twitched, trying not to laugh at the memory of what she looked like when I first saw her off camera. It was a pretty extreme look, but she pulled it off onscreen. I felt a light kick under the table, and I looked at nuna. She’d noticed that I trying to hold back my laughter. She glared at me, and quickly turned away so that no one else noticed.

The last scene of the MV was the one of nuna with tears in her eyes, while Shoei sat at the piano in front of her. I still haven’t gotten a chance to ask her what prompted the tears that day. Nuna was quite an emotional junkie. She laughed and cried easily, but there had to be a reason for her to laugh or cry in the first place.

The screen faded out at the end of the song, and the verdict was in… the new MV was well received, judging from the positive response of the press and our fans. Now would come the most tiring part of a new album launch; answering questions…

S3-4EVA

2009-05-25T23:34:00.002+08:00

I know I have not been posting for ages and ages... I'm working on the upcoming chapter. Hope my workload doesn't sidetrack me again. But anyway... since S-Cube's album was supposed to be launched already, here's the cover :) You like? My usual cover designer is busy :( So I had to do this really amateur-looking one myself =.="

Chapter 150: Happy Together

2009-03-23T15:02:00.004+08:00

[Sierra’s POV]

Ji Yong wasn’t around to watch me record today. The session got a bit boring, but since it was the pop-rock song, ‘Wut?!’, we were doing today, the energy level was still up.

“Let’s take it from the top again, Sierra,” the producer said, and they cued the music.

The loud, catchy drumbeats of the intro played, and I sang my bit for the intro.

[drumbeats]
Wut…

[drumbeats]
Wut… wut…

[short drum solo]
I say, wut!

Here’s a smile, I’ll throw it out
Fetch! [Good dog, good dog]
Here’s a touch, I’ll throw it out
Fetch! [Good dog, good dog]

Here’s a kiss, I’ll throw it out
Fetch! [Good dog, good dog]
Here’s my love, I’ll throw it out
Fetch! [Good dog, good dog]

My arm’s getting tired
I’m sick of your whining
You never seem to change
Why bother to keep trying

[Rap]
You mumble to me all the time
You seem like I’ll eat you alive
I really, really need a man
I can’t keep saying… WUT?!

I can’t hear what you said, you gotta speak up
Speak up… WUT?!
You’re just too soft for me, you gotta wake up
Wake up… WUT?!
Be a man, be the man, or you will lose me
One more try, then goodbye, you’d better please me

Hold my hand, come closer now
Why are you so afraid? [Bad dog, bad dog]
It’s been so long and still no kiss
Why are you so afraid? [Bad dog, bad dog]

You stand 2 feet away
You hardly ever touch me
You keep shying away
Why do we even bother to…

[Rap]
You’d better man-up today
Stop acting like the girl
I’m tired of wearing the pants
And I can’t keep saying… WUT?!

I can’t hear what you said, you gotta speak up
Speak up… WUT?!
You’re just too soft for me, you gotta wake up
Wake up… WUT?!
Be a man, be the man, or you will lose me
One more try, then goodbye, you’d better please me

Boy, I really do think you’re fine
But you’re causing me to lose my mind
Boy, I need someone to take charge of me
I need a man, so man up, or I’ll go crazy

You gotta speak up, man up, tough up, baby…

WUT?!

I can’t hear what you said, you gotta speak up
Speak up… WUT?!
You’re just too soft for me, you gotta wake up
Wake up… WUT?!
Be a man, be the man, or you will lose me
One more try, then goodbye, you’d better please me

I can’t hear what you said, you gotta speak up
Speak up… WUT?!
You’re just too soft for me, you gotta wake up
Wake up… WUT?!
Be a man, be the man, or you will lose me
One more try, then goodbye, you’d better please me

One last time, or goodbye, boy, I mean it!

WUT?!

“Very good, Sierra,” the producer said. “We just need you to repeat the last chorus. More energy, and at ‘I mean it!’ it should be a bit more high pitched.”

“Ne,” I replied, and we redid it.

From the day the song was slated to be part of my album, there had been a disagreement about it between some of the producers. Some are afraid that it may not pass the censors because of the lyrics. They find that the reference to the guy in the song as a dog was pretty harsh and demeaning.

“Come on!” Ji Yong said when they were discussing it again during our second recording session for this song.

It was Saturday. We were only supposed to come in, put in the finishing touches under Ji Yong’s supervision, and then we could go, but the other producers held us back after, proposing that we changed the lyrics and recorded again.

“But the song is different because it defies convention,” Ji Yong pointed out. “Do you have a problem singing the lyrics?”

“It does make me look like a total bad girl, but I think if we keep the lyrics, we will have more freedom of ideas when we’re filming the MV.”

“Keuraejyo!” Ji Yong exclaimed.

The management had decided to make a huge production. 1 MV will be out in time for the awards, but we will follow up the mini album with an MV for each song; even the cover of Sarangha-o. It was a pretty big project, and very daunting since it will be the first time I’m doing MVs on my own. Apart from that, there will be those live solo performances on Music Bank, Inkigayo and other music programs.

“So you’re not afraid your reputation will take a hit with this song?” one of the producers asked me.

“This is nothing compared to some other songs I’ve seen,” I replied.

“I think we can leave the song as it is,” Shi Kyung hyung said.

“If you are all in agreement, we will go ahead. But if anything goes wrong, you’re all responsible.”

The album will be released with ‘Crazy II’ as the title track and ‘Wut?!’ as the 2nd song to be performed with it. The MV for ‘Crazy II’ will be the first to be released, and just before the awards, the MV for ‘Wut?!’ will follow. Seung Hyun will star in ‘Crazy II’, and they’re still looking for a guy to star in ‘Wut?!’. The initial concept for the mini album would be a bad girl image.

After ‘Wut?!’, the next songs up for huge promotional activities are ‘This Is My Life’ and ‘Sarangha-o’. For these 2 songs, it will be a softer, more feminine image, to highlight my singing abilities. They’re pushing for Jae Joong to clear a spot in his schedule and come back to film a video for ‘Sarangha-o’. ‘This Is My Life’ will be a documentary MV filled with videos taken during the time I’m recording this mini album, which means that Ji Yong and Seung Hyun will appear briefly in the footage, eliminating the need to actually get anyone to guest star in the MV.

“I’ve been cheated,” Ji Yong complained when he heard about the MV concept. “I demand to be paid more.”

“You don’t have to allot any time from your schedule just for the MV, that’s earning you double money just doing 1 job,” I pointed out.

“Molla, molla!” he pretended to sulk. “I demand more! I’m G-Dragon, yo!”

“Hey… I’m not the one who’s paying,” I shrugged, and walked off.

“Yah!” he yelled, then broke into laughter.

The last 2 songs, ‘Cutting the Strings’ and ‘Make Me’ will simply have MVs as a promotional channel. They’re not planning for me to make any live performances for them. The good news was they were trying to sell these songs to some companies for CFs. If the deal goes through, there may even be a CF contract for me.

The meeting had ended and I was packing in frenzy since I was late to meet Jae Joong. He’d touched down an hour earlier, and was probably on his way to the studios.

“Whoa!” Ji Yong exclaimed. “Where are you running off to? Are the police after you?”

“I’m late,” I said as I slung my bag on my shoulder and gathered up my files and sweater.

“To meet your hunny-bunny?” he teased.

“Yesss…” I laughed.

“Aight!” he smiled. “See ya!”

“Bye,” I said and dashed out the door.

I got downstairs and he was already there, waiting for me. He doesn’t always call when he arrives, especially when he knows I’m working. I automatically opened the front passenger seat and was taken aback to see someone sitting there.

“Annyong!” he waved.

It was Tae Goon, Jae Joong’s friend.

“Annyong!” Jae Joong leaned across him to wave at me as well.

“What’s he doing in my seat?” I joked.

“He brought me my car,” Jae Joong said.

“Taseyo,” Tae Goon said, getting out so that I could get in.

I got in the front, and Tae Goon went to sit in the back.

“So…” I turned around to face Tae Goon. “Where are we dropping you off?”

“You’re so mean!” he exclaimed, and I just laughed.

“That’s how I like her,” Jae Joong said and reached for my hand.

“What? You like mean girls?” Tae Goon said.

“When she’s mean to other guys,” Jae Joong added.

“Ah… so that they won’t fall for her,” he said.

“They still do,” I smiled slyly, “even when I treat them badly.”

“Ha… ha…” Jae Joong laughed sarcastically.

“Your girlfriend is very funny,” Tae Goon laughed.

“Yes, she is,” Jae Joong replied. “But don’t fall for her.”

“I’ll try,” Tae Goon said, still laughing.

“Where are we going to?” I asked.

“Tae Goon found this game-bang with really nice food,” Jae Joong said.

“Game room?” I asked.

“Yea…” he said.

“Board games?” I asked.

“They have some game consoles also. Let’s see what we can get,” Jae Joong said.

“Okay,” I said. “You guys decide. I’m just coming along for the ride.”

Tae Goon debut earlier this year, and did pretty well. Jae Joong actually guest starred in his MV and the girl in the MV cheated on him with Tae Goon. We all thought it was pretty hilarious that Jae Joong played the jealous, cuckolded boyfriend. After the MV aired, the fans went crazy and had a field day hating on the poor girl for cheating on Jae Joong in the MV.

“So what are you working on today, nuna?” Tae Goon asked me.

“You haven’t heard?” I said.

“I know it’s a mini album. So what song was it today?” he asked.

“Pop-rock,” I said.

“Oh… nice. I’m looking forward to seeing how the MV will turn out,” he said, then a light bulb lit up in my head.

“Tae Goon,” I said.

“Ne?” he replied.

“What’s your schedule like these days?” I asked.

“Some TV and radio shows, and working on my album,” he said.

“Would you like to co-star in my MV?” I asked him.

“What?” Jae Joong and Tae Goon exclaimed together.

“I’ll tell you about the concept when we get to the game-bang,” I said.

We got there, and it was a small shop with many little cubicles done up in a traditional Korean home style. There were no doors on each cubicle, but because it was a step up, and each had walls going all the way up, it felt like a small room. A short table was set up in the middle of the cubicle for the board game cubicles, and for the video game cubicles, which were a little bigger, the short table served as a stand for the television and game console at the end of the cubicle. There were cushions strewn all over the floors, since there were no chairs. You had to take off your shoes before entering the cubicle.

“What do you wanna do?” Jae Joong asked me.

“I dunno… you guys pick,” I said.

They picked a Wii room, hoping to entice me to play with them later on.

“How do you work this?” I said as I fiddled with the controller.

“First, we create a character for you,” Tae Goon said, and took the controller from me.

The 2 guys proceeded to browse through all possible combinations of the female mini-me looking characters.

“She has short hair!” Tae Goon exclaimed when Jae Joong chose long hair.

“I like her with long hair too,” he said, and confirmed it.

It took them more than 10 minutes to configure my character, and this place charged by the hour. Our food and drinks came within15 minutes. Since I hadn’t had lunch, I ordered ramyun while the guys had kimbap and some other snacks.

“So what’s the proposal?” Tae Goon asked me.

Jae Joong was playing some single player game so that Tae Goon could talk to me first.

“That Pop-Rock song… the concept is a bad girl, and a nice guy. The guy is so nice that he drives the girl crazy because she thinks he’s not being a man.

“This song is Pop-Rock?” he asked again. “But the theme sounds so mature.”

“The MV is not gonna be serious. It’s gonna be fun, and crazy, but you may have to do some silly stuff.”

“Silly stuff?” he raised and eyebrow.

“I like it already,” Jae Joong quipped, his eyes still trained on the television screen. “You made me the fool in your MV, now my girl makes you the fool in hers.”

“Oh… so this is revenge?” Tae Goon laughed.

“No… I just thought it would be fun to do it with someone I know. But I’ll have to warn you,” I said.

“About?”

“The lyrics, and the silly stuff,” I said.

“Now you’re scaring me.”

I took out my mp4 player and handed the earphones to him. He put them on, and I played him a sample track from the song. He listened with a straight face for awhile. When the song came to the first verse, he burst out laughing.

Chapter 149: 가벼운 사랑 (Light Love)

2009-02-23T00:24:00.004+08:00

Since I update erratically these days, so if you would like to be notified when I do, please email me at sierraskyeshoei@yahoo.com :D

******

[Shoei’s POV]

“Onni,” Su Bin said as nuna hung up on Jae Joong hyung. “You and Jae Joong oppa are just too loving.”

“But we are not married,” she said. “So you two have a lot more freedom to be as loving as possible.”

I coughed at nuna’s last sentence. What was she doing? She knew that I didn’t care for the show or Su Bin, and she’s encouraging Su Bin to put on a bigger act for the show.

“I wanna quit the show,” I’d told her last night.

“Quit? You can’t just quit,” nuna said.

“The album launch is coming,” he said. “I can use my busy schedule as an excuse.”

“That may only buy you a month or two, like what Alex did,” she pointed out.

“I don’t wanna be on the show anymore. Su Bin freaks me out,” I said.

“You’re generating publicity for the album through the show. The management will make sure you stay.”

“Will it help if I behave like a jerk?” I joked.

“You’ll kill our album sales then,” she said. “It’s bad enough that I did it to our first album. You want us to disband after the fourth album?”

“No…” I sighed.

“Then suck it up…” she said, and gave me a thump on my back.

I sneaked a glance at Su Bin as we drove along. I’ll stay on the show, but I won’t be a doormat any longer. I’m going to assert my power this time around.

We came to a small bistro where the PDs for We Got Married have already made reservations. Since Skye and nuna were last minute guests, they had to call up to get a bigger table for us.

“Wow…” nuna exclaimed at we walked it.

The bistro was decorated like an English pub, complete with coarse wooden benches and tables, but there were also choices of proper chairs and tables which were meant for couples. Since we were a bigger party, we got a big table with benches.

“Doesn’t this place remind you of the UK?” nuna asked me, and I nodded.

“Oppa, you’ve been to England?” Su Bin asked me.

“I was there during my high school years,” I replied.

“No wonder you speak such good English,” she marveled.

“Nuna and Skye are as good,” I said.

I sat next to Skye, while Su Bin sat next to nuna. Nuna sat across the table from me. I know this sounds like an odd arrangement, but the PDs suggested it, so we just went along. I wondered what kind of situation they were trying to create. Were they trying to play nuna and Su Bin against each other? If they were, it’s only gonna work for Su Bin, since nuna didn’t care.

We ordered our food, and as soon as our salads arrived, nuna and Skye started doing what they usually did; swapping vegetables.

“Skye… take my radishes,” nuna said as she starting picking the shredded radish up with her fork and spoon and piled them onto Skye’s plate, stretching around the table to do so.

“I don’t like these purple vegetables,” Skye said, and started picking up his vegetables and putting them into nuna’s plate.

I rolled my eyes at the both of them. They were doing what we always did, but it’s going to make them look immature. I’m hoping this doesn’t make the cut.

“Shoei…” nuna looked at my plate.

I glared at her.

“Come on…” she said, raising her fork over my plate.

“Chamkan,” I sighed, and picked up my spoon.

I scooped up the pine nuts and corn from my salad, and put them on her plate.

“Cho-a?” I smiled sarcastically

“Ne…” she smiled and she started eating. “Neomu cho-a.”

I made a quick glance across the table at Su Bin. She looked lost, and uneasy at the ‘display of affection’ among us.

“Ah! Su Bin!” Skye suddenly exclaimed.

“Ne?” she turned to Skye.

“I saw your band’s video. You girls were great!” Skye said.

“Komawoyo,” she smiled.

“How old are you?” nuna asked her.

“I’m 18,” she replied.

“That makes you 7 years younger than Shoei,” Skye pointed out.

“Ne,” she nodded, and then started eating silently.

“Shoei… she’s so shy. Did you tell her not to speak to us?” nuna teased.

“Aniyo,” I replied, and continued eating my salad.

“Su Bin,” nuna looked at her, “it’s alright. You can tell us if he’s threatened you.”

“A-aniyo,” Su Bin answered.

It was obvious that Su Bin was intimidated. She was only 18 and fresh out of the K-Pop factory. Nuna and Skye were pretty scary when you put them together as a team. They don’t stop talking, and they were capable of coming up with all sorts of weird questions to harass you if they wanted to.

“Ignore them, Su Bin,” I said.

“Oooh…” Skye sang. “Someone is protecting his wife.”

“Shoei… you used to protect me,” nuna pouted. “Now you’re choosing your wife over your nuna?”

This was getting too weird. Nuna had always been so preoccupied with her own personal life. She had never so much cared with whom I flirted with or whether or not I was even in the same room as she is. But here she is, putting on a show of jealousy on national television.

“And your brother,” Skye added, just to fuel the fire.

“Oppa doesn’t mean that,” Su Bin quickly said in his defense.

“They’re just playing, Su Bin,” I smiled. “Ignore them.”

“No, we’re not,” Skye protested.

“Food’s here,” I said when I saw the waiter approaching, successfully cutting Skye off for the moment.

Dinner proceeded and ended without much more shenanigans. Nuna and Skye must’ve been hungry and decided to focus on eating.

“I’ll take Su Bin home,” I said to them as we got up to leave.

“Sure you don’t want me to give you a lift?” Skye asked me.

“We’ll be fine. We need to date, you know,” I added for fun; my mistake.

Skye looked at nuna, and he started singing as we walked out of the restaurant.

“I can see what’s happening…” he sang.

“What?” nuna asked; gleefully.

“But they don’t have a clue,” he added.

“Huh?” nuna responded, trying not to laugh.

“They’re falling in love, and here’s the bottom line… our trio’s down to 2.”

“Oh…” nuna said, pretending to sound sad.

“Keumanhae…” I warned them.

It was Can You Feel the Love Tonight, from the Lion King; the Timon and Pumbaa version. Su Bin was giggling throughout their little act.

“Bye…” they waved at us, and we waved back.

But as soon as we turned out backs, they skipped to the chorus…

“Can you feel the love tonight…” the two of them shrieked like drunkards as they walked to Skye’s car, and when they reached Skye’s car, they doubled over in laughter, bracing themselves against his car.

The production crew gave us a lift back to our apartment, forgoing the filming for the journey there. I would have to spend the night there tonight. Filming was actually scheduled for tomorrow, but I guess they decided to do it late today and follow on till tomorrow.

“Oppa,” Su Bin called to me.

She was lying on the sofa, and I was lying on a mat on the floor beside the coffee table. She’d decided to give me a facial when we got back. I just went along with whatever she wanted since I was too tired to fight already.

“Mwo?” I replied.

“Mianhae,” she said.

“For what? “ I asked.

“If I hadn’t been there tonight, you would have had more fun with Sierra onni and Skye oppa.”

“It’s alright. I have fun with them almost every day,” I replied.

She was silent for awhile, and then she spoke up again.

“Is it a burden to be married to me?” she asked.

“What are you talking about?” I said.

“You’re so busy, and I just feel that having me adds to your burden,” she said.

I hadn’t checked the script today. Usually they had a guideline on the topics that we were supposed to mention and discuss from there. I’m guessing this was part of it, so I had to respond positively.

“Of course not,” I said. “Don’t be silly. I don’t even need to take care of you.”

“What about having to entertain me? We hardly know each other, and you have to constantly spend time with me, make an effort to interact with me… I don’t want to burden you with this obligation.”

“A marriage is not an obligation, Su Bin,” I replied, and sat up. “It’s a commitment of love.”

“Then do you love me, oppa?” she asked simply.

This girl was an actress. The expression on her face was so pensive, and filled with anticipation. How would the nation react toward me if I shot her down? In the end, I was a Japanese, and for my band’s sake, I need to stay sane and focus.

“In time, I will,” I replied, and lay back down.

I caught her smiling just before I closed my eyes.

[Su Bin’s POV]

It was part of the script, but tonight, somehow, I felt closer to him than I did before.

He’d been so hostile towards me and the crew while on the set. I could see that he was stressed. With the launch of S-Cube’s 4th album coming up, his days could not be more difficult. Everyone was expecting something big from them now since they’d done so well with the last album. Even before this album is due for release, their decision to do an album of covers had been under scrutiny.

Some said they’d run out of material or creative juices, so they were taking the quick route to put out an album. Some appreciated that they wanted to honor some classics and hits, and were eager to see how S-Cube would interpret them. Already ‘L.O.V.E’ had received rave reviews after being featured on Sierra onni’s drama, ‘Girls on Top’. Darren oppa might hate their guts, but I think S-Cube have another hit album on their hands.

“Why do you think Shoei was so hostile today?” the interviewer asked me during the day’s interview session.

“I think he was just stressed and tired,” I smiled.

“Do you think he will always be like this?” she asked.

“Aniyo…” I replied. “His album will be released in another week. When he starts seeing the results of his hard work paying off, he will be in a better mood.”

“Will you always be this understanding? You yourself have just put out a new album last month, and you’ll be promoting a new single soon. How will you cope with your marriage and career?”

“We only film once a week, so we only meet once a week,” I said. “It’s still manageable.”

“So if you were to see each other day in, day out, do you think you’d last?”

“It depends on the reason we’re together,” I replied.

“Reason?”

“If we’re in it for love, nothing can hinder us,” I smiled.

“So how much do you think he loves you?” she asked.

I mimed a really small pinch.

“This much,” I giggled. “I think he likes me this much. Love? We’ll need to work on that some more.”

Chapter 148: 미워 (Hate U, Love U)

2009-01-23T22:50:00.003+08:00

[Shoei’s POV]

I knew today was coming the moment we started recording the new album. I wasn’t waiting for it, but now it’s here, that old familiar feeling seemed to be seeping back into my heart. I knew I had already decided to forget her, but I can never stop myself from feeling that sense of comfort and longing, especially when we touched. As the shoot went on, I told myself, for at least this moment, I could pretend. After this, things would go back to the way they should be.

She was so close now, our breaths mingled, and her eyes were fixed on mine. I was painfully aware of her hand resting on my thigh. I wondered if she felt uncomfortable.

As if the gods knew I was waiting for a moment like this subconsciously, nuna’s hand slipped off my thigh, and our noses grazed each other’s. It was almost a kiss if it hadn’t missed by a centimeter. Nuna sat up quickly and rearranged her position, and her expression. I could see her flushing from the awkwardness. All these years together and she still felt shy around me?

“Sierra… look up and Skye now. Give him an expressionless look,” the director said. “And Shoei, reach out to her and try to regain her attention.”

Nuna took the opportunity to look away, and I took the opportunity to touch her face the way I never would.

A few more shots later, they removed the lounge, and we did more shoots standing around, and finally, the group shoot wrapped. We now had some individual shoots, still in the glam mode, but we had some costume changes.

Nuna was now dressed in a sapphire blue, sequined flapper dress, diamante encrusted headband around her braided upward hairdo with a feather at the back, and still with that long cigarette filter in her hand. They had created a set which looked like a ballroom, complete with antique furniture, chandeliers, tall French doors and a grand piano. For this scene, I had some couple shots with nuna, but mostly with me as a prop since the main subject of the shoot was her. I sat at the piano and started playing. Nuna was asked to pose around the piano while I played.

“Sing something, Shoei,” the director said. “It’s starting to look stiff.”

They turned off ‘Just a Feeling’, and I was left to create the mood on my own. I decided to sing one of our favorite practice songs, Alex’s ‘Very Hurtful Words’. Nuna had always been a huge fan of Alex. When he released his solo album, she practically dashed to the record store to get it. After Jae Joong hyung and Park Hyo Shin, she worshipped Alex the most.

I played the intro of the song, but jumped to the 2nd part of the song, so that nuna could join in if she wanted to.

“You are so beautiful
keudaeneun nareul oerobge hajyo
amudo saranghal su eobge

keudaeneun naege
eoneudeot ap'eun taneoga waetjyo
ireohke naui kaseume

chogeumman nareul parabwajumyeon
tallyeoga nege hagop'eun mal”

I closed my eyes and allowed the lyrics of the chorus to fill my heart as I released them from my lips to form the song. It was a beautiful love song. One that never ceased to put you in a sad, romantic mood; this was how nuna always described it.

“saranghae neoreul saranghae
neul sumgigo na kamjuryeo haedo
neo-ui uimi eobneun mal han madi-e
useumjitgo nunmul heullimyeon
kkume keurineun mal”

I continued playing as I sang the last line, ready for her to join in, but she didn’t. I looked up and she was looking straight at me, her eyes glimmering with unshed tears.

“Good,” the director called out, “I can feel the love and longing being exchanged.”

She blinked, and turned away briefly as a tear escaped.

“I’m sorry,” she said, interrupting the shoot. “I need a minute,” she added as she dabbed her eyes gently with her gloved hand.

“It’s alright, Sierra,” the director called, not stopping the cameras. “That was something extra. I’d like that to be part of the MV.”

Nuna nodded, and turned back to lean and pose again.

“Kwaench’ana?” I whispered.

“I’m fine,” she replied softly.

“Shoei,” the director called.

“Ne,” I replied.

“Tashi…” he said, indicating that I played again for the cameras.

The shoot continued smoothly as we delivered more and more different shoots with many costume changes. There was one where nuna had to wear a gold dress with huge shoulder pads and they gave her really big hair and lots of eye shadow to go with it. For that shoot, Skye and I were dressed in suits ala Spandau Ballet in the MV for ‘Gold’, and we had eyeliner on.

“Wow, nuna!” Skye exclaimed when nuna walked out of hair and makeup. “You can house a family of squirrels in that nest.”

“Shut up!” she exclaimed, looking very self-conscious of her hair.

“You look the part,” I said, to make her feel a little better.

“Thanks,” she smiled.

The costumes were paired with a stage. I held a saxophone in my hand, and Skye had an electric guitar. Nuna had the role of the songstress, and stood front and center with a microphone stand. They played ‘Just a Feeling’ again, and we pretended to play the instruments while nuna lip-synched to the song, complete with diva-like gestures.

For the final shoot, we were all wearing the hanbok.

“Is this a New Year special?” Skye asked as he walked around as if he were a character in a period drama.

“Keureomhamnida,” nuna answered, and hid her faced behind a sleeve.

She’s joking and playing with Skye now, but I can’t forget the look on her face when we did the shoot by the piano earlier. I had no idea what had caused her tears. Did that song mean something to her? She’s never said anything about it whenever we used it at practice. So why did she react so differently today?

As we were completing the shoot today, a surprise visitor arrived.

It was Su Bin, with the crew from ‘We Got Married’. As soon the cameras shut off so that the PDs could discuss how to continue the shoot without interrupting ours, I pulled Su Bin aside to question her.

“What’s going on? Why wasn’t I informed?” I asked.

“It’s a surprise,” she smiled. “If they’d told you earlier, you wouldn’t look so surprised when I arrived.”

“But I’m working. Can’t this wait till the scheduled filming day?” I asked.

“Your management okay-ed it,” she shrugged. “I’m just taking instructions as well.”

“Geez…” I raised my arms, and walked off.

“What’s wrong?” nuna asked me as I approached her and Skye in hair and makeup.

The shoot was actually almost complete. We had one more scene to shoot, and we could go. Nuna and Skye were having their makeup removed and hair put back to normal for our natural shoot.

“It’s a surprise shoot,” I huffed as I sat down in one of the chairs.

“Sounds fun,” Skye quipped.

I leaned back and tried to relax as the stylist fixed my makeup and changed my hairstyle.

Su Bin and the crew hung around while we continued filming. She looked really cute, dressed in pastel yellow sleeveless blouse, denim miniskirt and sneakers. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and she used very natural makeup which made her look fresh and youthful. She looked like a child next to nuna, but even if she was a child, I wasn’t going to go easy on her this time. She may not have made the call on today’s filming activities, but there was no other way for me to vent my frustrations. Yes… no more Mister Nice Guy. Shoei has gone bad…

The shoot finally wrapped, and we got off the set to change out of our costumes.

“It’s alright, I’m still filming,” I waved the makeup artist off when she approached me with the intention of removing my makeup for me.

“You have too much gunk on your face. That much makeup is only meant for MVs,” nuna said.

“I don’t care,” I grumbled. “I’m too lazy to do anything for that show anymore.”

“Incoming,” Skye sang as Hae Rin and the crew walked in; the cameras were on.

“Annyeonghaseyo,” she bowed politely at us.

Skye and nuna waved back at her while I glared at her and the crew.

“Oppa… hwanaseoyo?” she asked as she lightly touched my arm.

“I just don’t like distractions when I’m working,” I said.

The cameras were rolling, and whatever I said may make the cut, but if it’s entertainment they want, I’ll give it to them.

“Mianhaeyo,” she said, sweetly. “I should have called.”

“You should have,” I said.

“Ne. I won’t do it again,” she said, sweetly. “Shall we go for dinner?” she asked

“I had plans with Skye and nuna,” I replied.

“We can all go together,” she suggested.

I looked at Skye and nuna. They were very obviously paying attention to every word that was exchanged between me and Su Bin.

“I don’t mind,” Skye offered.

“Me neither,” nuna replied.

I could say that I was thankful to them at that moment. Going somewhere for dinner would mean attracting a lot of attention to Su Bin and myself. Having the whole band come along would definitely generate more attention, but at least I didn’t have to be the main focus if they came along.

[Sierra’s POV]

We packed up and left the studios together with the crew from ‘We Got Married’. Skye and I had decided to lend our support to Shoei since he was ambushed by Su Bin and the crew. Shoei wasn’t a particularly moody person, but I would say that he wasn’t in the best of moods today. The show must be putting considerable pressure on him.

Skye and I sat upfront since he was driving, and let Shoei and Su Bin sit at the back. A camera perched at the front of the car to film the entire journey.

“I got a mission envelope today,” Su Bin explained to Shoei. “I was asked to visit you at work and have dinner with you to get to know you better.”

“You could’ve just called to meet instead of bringing the whole crew,” he said.

“I don’t think she had any control over that,” I answered for her. “Just chill.”

Everyone was silent after that, and in an attempt to reduce the awkwardness, Skye put on a CD. Coincidentally, it was one of our personally compiled CDs, and ‘Very Hurtful Words’ started playing. Skye hummed along as we always did, Shoei continued to ignore Su Bin, who was starting to look a little bewildered, and I started thinking about the shoot earlier.

I had no idea where the tears came from. Shoei was just singing like we always did, but today, it felt very personal. As if he were singing to me, like he did on X-Man, a long time ago. This song had a special place in my heart, and to hear him sing it with his heart, it just made me immerse myself into the emotions of the song, and that’s when the tears came.

Today had been a little nostalgic of the early days… the very first few photoshoots we had where I’d always thought Shoei’s intense expressions were the result of good acting, not realizing that he was channeling his true feelings at me. Today felt no different.

It has been a long time since he’d said anything about us. When he came back from Japan, I could feel that he had put it behind him. But somehow today, it was back; especially after the almost kiss, and then, he sang this song. No one sang this song like Shoei did. Alex did it well, but when Shoei did it, you could feel the pain from his heart in every word.

I hate to admit it, but when I saw him walking with Su Bin today, I felt a little jealous. This would be the first time I’ve seen Shoei actually interact with a girl in such a personal manner. In the past, the rare harmless flirting and conversations he’s had with other female artistes never bothered me, but something about Su Bin being his ‘wife’ irked me. Was I being selfish because he had always been devoted to me but now he has someone else to turn his attention to; even if it wasn’t positive attention?

Just then, my phone rang. I turned down the music, and answered.

“Yoboseyo?”

“It’s me…” Jae Joong sang.

“You’re in a good mood,” I laughed.

“I’m coming back this weekend!” he yelled into the phone, almost deafening me.

“Chintcha?” I exclaimed.

“What?” Skye asked, getting curious from my excited tone.

“Jae Joong’s coming back this weekend,” I said.

“Yippie!” Skye cheered, making fun of my excitement.

“I can’t really talk now,” I said to Jae Joong.

“Wae?” he whined.

“We’re on We Got Married with Shoei,” I whispered into the phone.

“Oh… araso. I’ll call back later,” he said.

“Okay… talk later,” I said.

“Okay… bye… love you,” he said.

“Love you,” I whispered in reply.

“Onni,” Su Bin piped up from the back as soon as I hung up. “You and Jae Joong oppa are just too loving.”

“But we are not married,” I joked. “So you two have a lot more freedom to be as loving as possible.”

Shoei coughed at my last sentence, while Skye grinned as he maintained his silence. We’ve decided that we’re not doing this for Shoei without getting a little fun out of it.

Bonus: Darren

2009-01-01T14:25:00.004+08:00

I know he's a villain, and he doesn't warrant much attention :P But since I'm on a roll, and I've received requests for his face as well... here he is... (my sister is gonna kill me)

Darren is Lee Dong Wook. Lee Dong Wook is an actor (born 6 Nov 1981). He rose to fame after his role in the crazy drama (in my opinion), My Girl. He's starred in movies such as Arang, The Perfect Couple, and recently in Heartbreak Library with Eugene from S.E.S. You can also catch him in Monday Kiz's story MV for the song Bye Bye Bye (that's where I first saw him).

Me and a friend went through lots of pictures. We were looking for a good looking guy who looked a tad arrogant. Coincidentally, Dong Wook is also a model, so we had no problem finding photos of him giving attitude ^_^ But being a kind author, I've decided to put hot and cute photos of Darren.

Whether or not Darren will develop into a permanent fixture is still undecided, but for now... at least we know he's a hot guy, and a bad boy ^_^

Chapter 147: 멋진 인생 (Cool Life)

2008-12-31T23:31:00.005+08:00

Happy New Year everyone! Sorry for being so slow... my resolution for the new year is to update more often and quickly! So let's all hope I keep to it. Hehe!

It's been a great year, and I'd like to thank my loyal readers for staying with me all this time. I will continue to write good fictions and work towards living my dream! I LOVE YOU ALL!!! MWAH!!!

******

“Need a lift?” Jae Wook asked me after our shoot had concluded for the day.

“I’m going to the recording studio, wouldn’t it be out of the way for you?” I asked.

“Not if you’ll have lunch with me,” he smiled.

Jae Wook and I had gotten friendlier since the drama progressed. I’m still a bit shy around him, especially when we have to do intimate scenes, but I was really thankful for his guidance throughout the filming since he was a sonbae, and I was totally green when it came to acting in a drama. Music videos don’t really count. It wasn’t every day that we exchanged words or ate together, so the few occasions we did were actually quite refreshing.

“You were shaking earlier,” he teased, as we drove out onto the main street.

“It was cold,” I joked.

“I make you feel cold?” he asked.

“Sometimes,” I laughed, and he pretended to look offended.

“Will your boyfriend be watching that episode?” he asked.

“He’s watched most of it,” I said.

“So he’s fine with 2 hot guys manhandling you?” he joked.

“Part of the job,” I smiled. “He’s done it too, so he should understand.”

“Good to hear,” he laughed. “Working till late, I guess?” he asked.

“It’s close to the awards season. The company is pushing for us to put out albums as quickly as possible so that we don’t miss out.”

“And this is your solo debut, right?”

“Someone’s been catching up on the news,” I teased.

“Hey… I know you personally now, so if I do hear stuff being said about you, I’d pay some attention to it,” he laughed.

“It’s my solo debut, and my band will also be releasing an album.”

“Won’t that cause a clash?”

“I don’t know how the company planned it, but this is what they’re doing. I suppose they don’t see a big clash. Skye and Shoei have their own fan base, and I have my teeny-tiny fan base to compete. I’m only grateful I’m collaborating with someone for the title track, then I can ride on his fan base,” I said.

“Collaboration? With whom?” he asked.

“Can’t tell yet,” I smiled. “Press release is next week.”

“Ya… I’m your leading man. How can you keep secrets from me?” he joked.

“I’m sorry… I have to guard the secret with my life, or my company will disown me,” I laughed.

“No leaks, huh?” he said.

“No…” I shook my head. “Unless I’ve been directed to leak it,” I added, and Jae Wook laughed out loud.

“I guess it happens,” he said.

“So when are you releasing an album?” I asked him.

“Me? I’m an actor, and I model. You think I’d make a good singer?”

“Well… it’s always worth a shot. I think most people would at one time in their lives harbor dreams of being a rock star,” I said.

“Hmm… I’ll ask my manager,” he laughed.

We decided to grab a quick bite somewhere near the studios, since I had to be there in about an hour.

“I’ll have the pumpkin soup and a Caesar salad,” I told the waiter.

“Are you on a diet?” Jae Wook asked me.

“No… I can’t eat too much before a recording session,” I explained.

“But you’ll have another meal later, right?” he asked.

“Of course,” I laughed. “I don’t starve myself.”

“Then how do you maintain your great figure?” he winked.

“Exercise, of course,” I said, proudly.

“Right…” he laughed.

“I’m considered fat for this industry anyway,” I said.

“It’s always nice to see some flesh on a girl. I’ve seen my fair share of waifs on the catwalk and film sets. Those are not really the kind of women guys would want to bear their children,” he smiled.

“I have heard this line often enough, and yet these girls do get married off, and they marry well too.”

“Those are trophy wives,” he said.

“You’re just trying to console me,” I laughed.

“You own one of the most eligible men in the K-Pop industry. What are you worried about?” he joked.

“I do not own him,” I said.

“How many years has it been? 2?” he asked, and I nodded.

“A long relationship between 2 young celebrities lasting so long is as close as you can get to a marriage.”

“Is that supposed to be a positive comment?” I laughed.

“However you want to see it,” he shrugged.

Jae Wook dropped me off at the studios half an hour later.

“Thanks for lunch,” I said.

“Anytime,” he smiled.

“I’ll buy you lunch another day,” I said.

“No need,” he replied. “Just give me a free copy of your new album.”

“Okay,” I laughed. “Naeil pwayo.”

“Naeil pwayo,” he replied, and drove off.

Another long day in the studio awaited me. Today we were going to do ‘Make Me'. The mood of the song was playful and rebellious, which made it feel a lot like Ji Yong’s character. But of course, that was only natural since he co-wrote it.

“Ready, baby?” he crooned.

“Yeah, baby!” I winked and made shooting actions with my hands.

I’ve learnt to match his wit and tone in the past week. By now, we were interacting freely and comfortably during our recording sessions.

“Music cue!” he said, and the music flooded the earphones.

Hey, you say, you say, it’s time for bed
Hey, you say, you say, don’t stay out late
Hey, you say, you say, don’t turn away
Hey, you say, you say, I’m talking to you

Every minute, every moment, you keep dictating
Every second, every hour, you gotta say
Something, something, to keep me in line
Well I’ve got news for you now, you can’t make me

I’d like to see you try… to make me
I’d like to see you try… to control me
No more, no more, I won’t toe the line
No more, no more, I won’t heed your cries

I say, no more, you hear me
From this minute on, you can’t make me

Hey, you say, you say, don’t run away
Hey, you say, you say, don’t you stray
Hey, you say, you say, only look at me
Hey, you say, you say, I’m your one and only

Every minute, every moment, you gotta speak
Every second, every hour, you drive me crazy
Seriously, shut up now, or you’ll regret it
You gotta learn right now, you can’t make me

I’d like to see you try… to make me
I’d like to see you try… to control me
No more, no more, I won’t toe the line
No more, no more, I won’t heed your cries

I say, no more, you hear me
From this minute on, you can’t make me

Oh no, no, no… Oh no, no, no…
You keep this up, for sure you’ll lose me
Oh no, no, no… Oh no, no, no…
From this second on, you won’t control me

Every minute, every moment, you gotta speak
Every second, every hour, you drive me crazy
Seriously, shut up now, or you’ll regret it
You gotta learn right now, you can’t make me

I’d like to see you try… to make me
I’d like to see you try… to control me
No more, no more, I won’t toe the line
No more, no more, I won’t heed your cries

I say, no more, you hear me
From this minute on, you can’t make me

The entire staff clapped as soon as I finished.

“Great energy!” Ji Yong said.

“Thank you,” I smiled and bowed.

“Are you feeling especially rebellious today?” he asked.

“A little,” I laughed. “And it’s all thanks to you.”

“Hmm… we’ll need to keep you in line then,” he said, and mimed cracking a whip, complete with sound effects.

“Yamete!” I held up both hands and waved them in protest.

I think as days went by, we got wackier and wackier. Ji Yong is bringing out the kid in me, and even Skye couldn’t do it to this extent. I’m definitely going to miss working with him once the album is complete.

After 3 strenuous days, I had a reprieve from recording. It was time for S-Cube’s album sleeve photoshoot. Not only that. They’ve decided to do a behind the scenes concept for the MV of our first single ‘Just a Feeling’. ‘L.O.V.E’ was initially planned as the first single, but since it was already featured on ‘Girls on Top’, and they had an MV made of clips from the series for it, they decided to release the ballad ‘Just a Feeling’.

The new album was a collection of love songs covered by us. The songs ranged from 70s to 90s favourites, and also some recent hits. What made the album more special to the three of us was that we got to choose each of the songs we wanted to do, except for the bonus track, which was supposed to be a publicity piece for my upcoming mini-album.

Since most of the songs were oldies, we were doing a photoshoot dressed in 70s, 80s and 90s inspired outfits. For the cover, we were going really glam. I had on a champagne colored gown with a fur stole, diamonds dripping from my ears, neck and hair, and I was made up with red lipstick, smoky eyes, and a sleek chignon.

“Whoa… looking like a laydee…” Skye sang when he saw me.

He and Shoei were both dressed in morning suits with their hair slicked back. They had top hats and canes to go with their outfit.

“Thank you, kind sir,” I curtsied.

“Places!” the production assistant shouted.

“The scene would be a Hollywood glamour photo session. The mood should be serious, and sort of romantic,” the director explained. “Sierra will interact with Shoei as a couple, and Skye will be the bystander in this photo.”

“Ne,” we answered in unison.

“Stills will be taken from our entire shoot today, so please keep your expressions right for the entire filming. The photographer here will also be taking your photos.”

There was a photographer dressed up like us and using an antique camera to shoot us. The stylist handed me a cigarette with a long filter attached to use as a prop.

“Do I have to smoke it?” I asked the director.

“If you do smoke, go ahead. If you don’t, just pretend,” he said.

“Ne…” I replied.

Filming started, and the song played in the background to help us get into character. ‘Just a Feeling’ is a song by the band, Breeze. The song is about a man who is losing his lover, and not wanting to face it even though he knows that she is leaving. This is most evident in the lyrics of the chorus when they sing “And if you love somebody else, would you still pretend you’re mine”.

Usually, Shoei would play the melancholy and jilted lover since he had that naturally brooding appearance, but this time, Skye had the honor.

I sat beside Shoei on the lounge they placed on the stage, half leaning against him. Skye stood beside it, his hand resting lightly on the backrest. For the first shot, Shoei and I looked at each other, his hand lightly touching my chin.

“Good expressions, Sierra and Shoei,” the director said. “Keep that longing look. Sierra… rest your hand lightly on his lap, maintain that cigarette filter’s position.”

I had to keep glancing back at the cigarette filter in case the ash from the cigarette fell on the dress, and I had to maintain eye contact with Shoei. Skye doing a good job, glancing down at us and back to the camera, pretending to notice but trying not to have noticed.

“Move closer now,” the director instructed. “Your lips almost touching.”

Sometimes I wonder what went on in the directors’ minds when they created scenes like this with the 3 of us. We were obviously like siblings, more than anything else, and it did feel a little incestuous when we did scenes like this. Of course, I still wondered how Shoei felt when we were put in such situations.

~ Skye & Shoei ~

2008-12-28T23:00:00.011+08:00

For the past 2 years, I have been receiving this single question over and over again... "What do Skye and Shoei look like?"

I've always had an image of them in my mind, but I had not found anyone in their likeness that I could provide my readers with photos. I had even contemplated conducting some sort of an activity to ask my readers to submit photos of people they thought looked exactly like how I'd described them all this while.

Well... I finally got a little tired of having to always imagine when I wrote about them. I hadn't wanted to use photos of existing celebrities to describe them because I didn't want to 'steal' someone else's face. But it so happens that in the past week, I have finally found the likeness of Skye and Shoei on the faces of 2 celebrities. Coincidentally, both of them have the same surname, Park. I hope they meet your expectations.

Skye is Park Jin Woo... Park Jin Woo (born 3 Jul 1983) is an actor . His latest movie is titled Frivolous Wife, in which he starred with Park Jung-ah from Jewelry. Honestly, I don't know too much about him, but from the photos I've seen of him on the net... I find him to remind me of Skye a lot.

The reason I think Skye looks like Park Jin Woo is because they have the same innocent babyface and that playful boyish smile.

Shoei is Park Hyo Shin... Park Hyo Shin (born 1 Dec 1981) is an awesome singer whom I have only recently discovered. If you read my personal blog, you might have seen me raving about his flawless singing. He recently embarassed Tae Yang of Big Bang with his rendition of Look At Me ^_^

The reason I think Shoei looks like Park Hyo Shin is because Park Hyo Shin has a bit of that Japanese vibe going on, and he is also quite a shy guy in real life, but because of his talent and being soft-spoken... it makes him really, really attractive.

Do we look good as a team? ^_^

Chapter 146: Doobob

2008-11-22T18:19:00.005+08:00

So sorry for the delay. I have been busy with work and working out some kinks in my personal life. Needless to say, these things do not help to inspire me to write (as you can see, even the title isn't creative) :P I'll be free soon, and I'll get back on track. Stay tuned ^_^

******

Today is the 2nd session with Ji Yong. Seung Hyun did his bits so well that he didn’t have to come in today, so it was just me, Ji Yong, the sound engineer and a producer.

“Let’s do the chorus again,” Ji Yong said into the microphone. “You’ll need to turn up the sex appeal,” he giggled.

“Oh sure… piece of cake,” I replied sarcastically.

“Hey… you’re a sexy girl… so just feel it and do it,” he laughed.

“Yes sir,” I replied with 2 thumbs up.

It’s a bit weird to have someone younger than me direct me and tell me how to sex-up my singing. But here I am, about to go solo, and I had one of the youngest, most talented artistes in Korea coaching me.

The music started playing, and I started singing. I finished the line, and Ji Yong cut off the music.

“Close…” he said. “Almost the mood we’re looking for. But I know you can do better,” he said. “Try thinking of something that can get you in the mood; Jae Joong hyung?” he laughed.

“Ya!” I exclaimed, and I could feel myself blushing.

Sure… I’m no 18 year old virgin, but having someone 5 years younger than me telling me to think dirty and get in the mood was starting to embarrass me.

“Come on, Sierra… come on!” he said, and that cracked me up.

It always cracked me up when he said that because it would make me think of the Coffee Prince parody he did with the rest of Big Bang for their concert. It’s not just his speech. His general appearance was a key to keeping our meetings interesting. Today he was in his usual high-tops, BAPE jacket… the full ensemble. He’d taken off his beanie and put on a headband to hold back his hair. It was a glittery diamante studded headband.

“Did you steal that from somewhere?” I laughed when I saw it earlier on.

“Nah… some fan gave it to me,” he laughed.

“That’s nice… wish my fans gave me headbands,” I laughed.

“I’ll bring you one the next time we’re meeting,” he smiled.

Ji Yong had a really large forehead for someone so small. Sometimes it kinda looks like he’s balding in the front, especially when he pushed his hair back like that. But I suppose his cuteness makes up for everything; balding or not. Then again, the Chinese believe that it’s a good thing to have a large forehead… it usually means you’re smart and you would do well in life; as proven with his success.

He may be younger than me, but he was my coach until we get this album done, so I had to listen to his advice. I took a deep breath, and closed my eyes. I tried to think about something sexy… a sexy incident which had taken place in my life, and I was no longer surprise where my brain had brought me to… sometime, long ago, when I was with Yun Ho.

It was one of those nights where Skye and Shoei had gone out to the gym with the guys from Super Junior, leaving me and Yun Ho home alone. We were sitting in front of the television, watching an English movie of my choice, 50 First Dates. You’d think that an Adam Sandler movie was far from sexy. It was always absurdly funny, never sexy, but ending of this movie was so touching.

I snuggled up to Yun Ho as we watched the ending, where Drew Barrymore showed Adam Sandler all the drawings she had done of him, not even remembering who he was.

“Would you remember me like this?” Yun Ho asked, and dropped a kiss on the top of my head.

We were laying side by side, me on the edge of the sofa. He had an arm tucked under my neck, and had the other resting on my hip. Our legs were entwined with my feet tucked under his to keep warm.

“I might… but I won’t be able to draw your face so accurately,” I giggled.

“Fair enough…” he said.

“I could always draw you as an animal; a symbolic representation of you. What would you like to be?” I teased.

He just growled in response and nuzzled my neck, causing me to squirm because it tickled. My laughter died as we watched the ending, where Drew Barrymore wakes up to a video where Adam Sandler has documented the whole journey of their relationship to remind her each morning how far her life has gone along since she had forgotten it. Yun Ho’s arms tightened around me as the scene progressed.

I was lulled into a state of mind where I was drunk on the romance on the screen, and from the warmth of being in his arms. I always felt protected when I was with Yun Ho. That was how any girl would feel when with him. As the credits rolled up, I turned to face him, and he leaned down to kiss me softly on the lips. I guess there is no need to discuss what went on from there.

Granted it wasn’t some hot and heavy incident. It was the simple passion of being in each other’s arms… and getting drunk on the unspoken love we shared.

I sang the chorus again, my mind fresh with emotions I had recalled from my past. I could feel my heart pouring into the microphone, expressing that deep hidden emotion that would convey the message of the lyrics and the music. As soon as I ended, Ji Yong started clapping.

“Bravo!” he said. “That was IT! What were you thinking of?” he asked.

“You?” I joked, and I could’ve sworn he looked a bit uneasy, but laughed anyway.

It’s always an obvious betrayal to Jae Joong whenever I thought of Yun Ho. The guilt would rush to my head, and I would always feel like as if I’ve actually cheated on Jae Joong whenever my mind took a trip down memory lane with Yun Ho. I will probably never get over my past, and this was one of the reasons I have not been able to commit to Jae Joong when it came to talking about our future.

Jae Joong was as dependable and Yun Ho, and he’ll definitely make a good husband, but I’m still at that crossroad in my life where I’m deciding when would be the best time to settle down. It’s too early anyway, since it has only been a little more than 3 years since S-Cube debut, and I’m about to go solo. I’m thinking it wouldn’t even hurt for me to wait till I was 30.

After the recording session, we’d more or less started moving on to my other songs; those that I would be doing solo. I had a choice of 1 cover, and I chose Alex’s ‘Sarangha-o’ (I Love You), since I was such a huge fan, and I had to have a ballad in my album, to prove that I could sing. In fact, I had almost every genre in my album. There’s R&B-Hip Hop with ‘Crazy’, ‘Sarangha-o’ was the cover-ballad, there was a pop song called ‘Make Me’, a disco song ala Kylie Minogue called ‘Cutting the Strings’, a rock song entitled ‘Wut?!’ and another slow song, just to prove I could sing, called ‘This Is My Life’.

I was practicing the song during my break at the film set when Jae Wook came to sit beside me.

“Hello,” he smiled.

“Annyeong,” I replied, and smiled back.

“You’re not helping me practice my English,” he complained.

“You’re not helping me practice my Korean,” I answered, and he laughed.

“So I heard you’ve been really busy,” he said.

“How did you guess?” I said, pretending to be shocked.

“Well… seeing how they’re rushing us with the filming… that kinda tipped me off,” he said.

“Oh… Mianhae…” I smiled.

“So are you gonna keep practicing your song?” he asked.

“It’s actually top secret, so I can’t let you hear it,” I said in a stage whisper.

“I won’t tell the press,” he smiled.

“Hmm… you swear?” I said.

“Yes… if I tell anyone, I would be attacked by a crazy fan on the way home,” he laughed.

“Okay,” I laughed.

I took a deep breath, and I started singing ‘Saranghao’ (I Love You), by Alex.

눈을 감아요 그대 두근거리는 이 밤
nuneul gamayo geudae dugeungeorineun i bam
그대 귓가에 흩날리는 내 마음을 받아 주오
geudae gwitgae heutnallineun nae maeumeul bada juo

왠지 서투른 나의 이 노래를 받아주겠소
waenji seotoreun naui i noraereul badajugettso
이 뜨거운 마음
i ddeugeoun maeum

눈부신 그대 두 눈을 난 사랑하오
nunbushin geudae du nuneul nan saranghao
그 안에 숨쉬게 해주오
geu ane sumshwige haejuo
푸른 밤 하늘 가득 채워 놓은 두 마음
pureun bam haneul gadeuk chaewo noeun du maeum
변하지 않겠다고 내 손을 잡고 말해주오
byeonhaji angettdago nae soneul japgo marhaejuo

아름다워요 그대 우리 둘만의 이 밤
areumdawoyo geudae uri dulmanui i bam
그대 모습에 스러지는 내 마음을 잡아주오
geudae moseube seureojineun nae maeumeul jabajuo
왠지 어색한 나의 이 약속을 받아주겠소
waenji eosaekhan naui i yaksogeul badajugettso
이 뜨거운 마음
i ddeugeoun maeum

눈부신 그대 두 눈을 난 사랑하오
nunbushin geudae du nuneul nan saranghao
그 안에 숨 쉬게 해주오
geu ane sumshwige haejuo
푸른 밤 하늘 가득 채워 놓은 두 마음
pureun bam haneul gadeuk chaewo noeun du maeum
변하지 않겠다고 내 손을 잡고 말해주오
byeonhaji angettdago nae soneul japgo marhaejuo

스쳐 지나는 많은 사랑과 체념 속에
seuchyeo jinanun manheun saranggwa chenyeom soge
아름다웠던 우리 달콤한 입맞춤
areumdawottdeon uri dalkomhan ibmatchum

눈부신 그대 두 눈을 난 사랑하오
nunbushin geudae du nuneul nan saranghao
그 안에 숨쉬게 해주오
geu ane sumshwige haejuo
푸른 밤 하늘 가득 채워 놓은 두 마음
pureun bam haneul gadeuk chaewo noeun du maeum
변하지 않겠다고 내 손을 잡고 말해
byeonhaji angettdago nae soneul japgo marhae
그 마음 변함이 없다고
geu maeum byeonhami eoptdago
내 품에 안겨 말해 주오
nae pume angyeo marhae juo

When I finished, I noticed that the stylist and makeup artist were also watching, and Jae Wook had a really straight expression, frozen on his face.

“Well?” I said.

“That was great!” he broke into a smile, and clapped.

The stylist and makeup artist clapped too.

“Look… now everyone knows,” I joked.

“Well… it’s kinda like the case of a princess with a beautiful voice. When she sings, all the woodland animals would come to listen,” he winked.

“You’re crazy…” I laughed. “So you’re saying I have kongju-pyeong?”

“Aniyo…” he protested, laughing at my self-depreciating joke. “You definitely do not have kongju-pyeong. You’d have kongju-pyeong if you spent all your break times selca-ing and uploading the photos to your mini-hompy.”

“I guess you’re the expert,” I shrugged and smiled.

We chatted for awhile more, and it was time to get back on set. Darren wasn’t around today, so we focused on scenes with Jae Wook and myself. Yuk Hee was also here to film the scene today.

‘Girls on Top’ has been getting decent ratings. We weren’t on the top of the charts since Darren and I weren’t big names, and it was really the addition of Jae Wook to the cast that helped our ratings climb.

{Girls on Top: Episode 16, Scene 5}

“Shut up!” Yun Mi yelled at Maya.

“Yun Mi-ah… please go to Ho Young, he needs you,” Maya pleaded.

“You’re just expecting me to help you pick up the pieces after you’re done with him.”

“I never meant to destroy him,” Maya said regretfully.

“Then you should have let him come to me when it was still possible. How do you expect us to carry on now? He’s so hung up on you, and he’s totally given up on his life.”

“Don’t you care for him? I know you can help him. You can change his mind and help him forget. I wish I could help him, but Si Won and I…”

“You should have let him go and gone back to Si Won from the beginning,” Yun Mi said. “It’s too late now…”

“Yun Mi… I…”

“Enough!” she said, and turned to walk away.

Maya sat down on the bench nearby and covered her face with her hands.

“Is it so tough?” Si Won said as he walked up to her.

“Si Won,” she smiled through her tears.

He sat down next to her, and put his arm around her shoulders.

“Maybe I should return you to Ho Young,” he smiled wistfully.

“I’m fine… I’m fine…” she said, trying to collect herself.

“I’m serious, Maya,” he said. “It’s bad enough I’m dying, I don’t need to see another die just so I can have my wish.”

“I owe you this much, Si Won,” she said, looking at him and reaching up to stroke his face.

“I know you love me,” he smiled. “But you love him more…”

“I’ve given him up. Even when you’re gone, I’m still your wife. I made a promise to you.”

“I was selfish to have asked for such a promise.”

“This is our fate,” she sighed. “I was meant to be with you in your time of need, and I will always be with you.”

Si Won gazed at Maya’s face, his face expressing his love and appreciation.

“Saranghae,” he said, and he kissed her softly on her lips.

Maya returned his kiss.

{End of scene}

Chapter 145: SHINE

2008-10-25T06:42:00.007+08:00

I am soooo sorry I took so long to post this. I just realised the first version of Sierra's solo 'Crazy' was so sloppy. So I took a longer time to jazz up 'Crazy (Version II)' for her duet with T.O.P. Hopefully it sounds better this time :P

I'll be writing songs again for the next few chapters. So I hope you're looking forward to them. There will be at least 3-4 new songs written for Sierra's solo ^_^

******

Shoei and I stared at Skye, boggled.

“Waegeurae?” I asked him.

“You never stop with the self-depreciating. You know damn well you can do it, and yet you keep whining about how you can’t,” he said.

“Oh sure… I can do it,” I said. “But how successful will I be?”

“The producers will do everything to make sure you’re successful. Whoever’s idea this was… his ass will be on the line if your album is a flop,” Skye said. “You need to buck up and make sure you don’t screw up.”

This was one of the very rare occasions Skye had ever exploded. I guess I’d been a little too vocal with my concerns of my own ability. But this was my solo debut. Everything was on the line.

“Skye’s right,” Shoei said. “And you know that no matter what happens, you have us to fall back on. It’s better than you going solo only after we’ve disbanded.”

I blinked at the both of them. This was them giving me their moral support, just as Jae Joong had, not too long ago. I felt the world weighing on my shoulders, and yet the men in my life are making sure that I know that I could shoulder this burden and that they were not far behind when things get too tough.

“Mian…” I smiled at them both. “I’ll stop with the complaints from now.”

“Good,” Shoei smiled. “Supper anyone?”

“What? Didn’t you come back from dinner with your new wife,” Skye teased.

“Yea… she pulled a 180 on me during dinner,” he said. “I was a little afraid of eating her cooking by then.”

“What do you mean?” I asked him.

“She couldn’t cook. From yesterday, till breakfast today,” he said. “And finally tonight… her food suddenly became edible.”

“Huh?” Skye said.

“Damn right,” he laughed. “I think she was pretending not to know how to cook.”

“Why would she do that?” I asked him.

“I don’t know. And I intend to find out. She’s a sweet girl… but there’s definitely something going on.”

“Something going on?” Skye said.

“Yea…” Shoei said, and took another sip of his tea.

“I’ll get supper,” I said as I got up and went to the kitchen.

[Su Bin’s POV]

I waited patiently for Darren oppa to arrive. He said he’d pick me up after my filming of We Got Married. I had to walk a safe distance from the apartment Shoei and I shared and called him to tell him where I was. He arrived 15 minutes later.

“Hey there,” he smiled as I got into the car.

I leant over to kiss him on the cheek, and he kissed me back.

“So? How’s the plan coming?” he asked me.

I’d dreaded the entire day because I wasn’t ready to tell him that the plan was failing.

“Oppa… uri keumanhaja?” I said.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“He’s a nice guy,” I said.

“Nice guy?”

“Everything I did to him, he just took it in and smile,” I explained. “There’s no way I could get him to misbehave.”

“Did you do what I told you to?”

“I couldn’t do everything you asked me to. I have my own reputation to worry about,” I said.

“Then what did you manage to do?”

“I screwed up every meal I cooked, and I brought up some uncomfortable subjects, hoping he would slip up when responding to me.”

“And he still behaved like an angel?” Darren oppa asked.

“He was a little distant throughout the whole shoot, but otherwise, he was perfect.”

“These SM kids sure know how to put on a good show,” he muttered.

“I can’t do anything to him without hurting myself, oppa. I can’t do this anymore,” I explained.

“You can’t or you won’t,” he asked.

“I want to help you, oppa. But you have to think of my career too,” I said.

“Araso…” he conceded. “Then we’ll just have to find another way then,” he said, grimly. “Let’s get you home, then.”

I watched as he put the car into gear and drove onto the road. The wheels in his head were turning… and I was afraid of what he was planning next.

[Sierra’s POV]

I’m going crazy…

I’ve been running all over Seoul just to meet my schedules this week. The management had arranged for some of my ‘Girls on Top’ scenes to be brought forward so that we could make a little room for the recording sessions with T.O.P and G-Dragon that will today. They’ve wrapped up the recording for S-Cube’s 4th album, which was simply titled ‘S3 - 4eva’.

I rushed into the recording studios where everyone was already waiting for me.

“Sierra…” the producer said, disapprovingly.

“Mian..” I said. “I just got off filming the drama.”

“This is G-Dragon, and T.O.P,” he introduced, ignoring my excuse.

I turned to find the 2 famed Big Bang members sitting right in front of me. I’d been so concerned about getting in on time that I hadn’t noticed them.

“Hi,” G-Dragon stood up and extended his hand. “You can call me Ji Yong.”

“And you can call me Seung Hyun,” T.O.P said, extending his hand as well.

“Pangapseumnida,” I said as I shook both their hands. “You can call me Sierra.”

They laughed at my lame attempt at a joke, but oddly enough, I’m already beginning to feel at ease with them.

T.O.P or Seung Hyun, as I now know him as, was tall, serious and exuded masculinity. But beneath that exterior was someone who seemed to enjoy whatever it is he did. G-Dragon or Ji Yong, was small and slim, probably slimmer than me, and he was flamboyant and adorable. It was obvious how much he loved producing as much as he loved singing. Both were talented and professional. I felt that I had a long way to go in terms of becoming on par with them.

“Ready to roll?” Seung Hyun asked me.

“Yea,” I smiled.

“Here…” he said, handing me a sheet of the new lyrics that had his lines in them now.

“I can never get over how good your English is,” I said to him.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“You can sing and rap without a hint of Korean accent,” I said.

“You should see the number of hours we put into fixing the accent,” he laughed.

“Yes… especially when you’ve never lived abroad,” I smiled as we both got up and went into the recording booth.

“If it makes you feel better… I’m at awe of your command in English and other languages. How many do you speak? 5?” he asked.

“You read up on me?” I asked, a little shocked.

“I never had, but when I found out that I was going to work with you, I thought I should at least know a thing or two about you,” he laughed.

“Oh… you mean you were never interested in knowing about me till now,” I said, pretending to be a little offended.

“Of course I like your work, if that’s what you’re getting at,” he laughed. “I listen to your songs, but that doesn’t mean I have to memorize your biography.”

“Right,” I smiled. “But you’re a little off the mark.”

“Ne?”

“I speak 7 languages,” I grinned.

“7?” he exclaimed.

“English, Malay, Mandarin, Hokkien, Cantonese, Korean and German.”

“You’re scaring me,” he laughed as we put on our headphones.

“Are we ready?” the producer interrupted us.

“Ne,” the both of us answered.

“Crazy…” Ji Yong drawled into the talkback microphone, “take 1.”

The music played, and it was a different beat from my solo version. This time, there was a more Hip Hop vibe, to complement Seung Hyung’s rap input.

-Start Dialogue-
T.O.P: Hey baby…
Sierra: Hey T.O.P…
T.O.P: You look so fine today
Sierra: Do I?
T.O.P: You’re driving me crazy, y’know
Sierra: Guess what?
T.O.P: Wut?
Sierra: So are you…
-End Dialogue-

T.O.P: Yo so wicked girl
Girl you look so fine
There ain’t ever been a female so divine
I could go on all day, if I had my way
But I’d much rather listen to that sexy voice
So, holler at me lady…

Sierra: Let me look in your eyes
Let me see through your mind~
Won’t you hold my hand
Make me feel alright~

It’s just not gonna work
If you’re not gonna tell me~
It’s just not gonna work
If you can’t be a man about it~

T.O.P: You’re asking me to be a man
I’m telling you, baby, I am that man
But you don’t seem to be listening girl
What I gotta do to get some attention girl
Seems like we’re going round in circles
But you know that we’re so good together
Close your eyes now and gimme your hand
I’ll make you go, go crazy again…

Sierra: Baby, baby, it’s the words that you say
They just kill me, kill me, kill me… oh yeah
Baby, baby, it’s that smile on your face
You drive me crazy…
Crazy…

T.O.P: Crazy…

Sierra: Let me open your eyes
Let me open your mind, mind~
T.O.P: My mind it’s going wild, so wild,
And my heart, it’s beating like, beating like…
Sierra: I have your hand in mine
Don’t you feel alright, alright~
T.O.P: I just gotta ask you something...
Is this what heaven feels like

Sierra: This has got to work
And you’re so gonna tell me, tell me~
T.O.P: I’ll tell you one thing, baby girl, so listen up
Sierra: This is so gonna work
Baby now that you love me, love me~
T.O.P: I love you foxy lady, you’re my one and only
Sierra: Now that you love me!

T.O.P: So now you’re listening to my every word
We’ve come so far now, it’s getting good
You’re into me, I’m into you
Don’t ever leave me baby, whatever you do
I’m feeling so hot, just thinking of you
You’re taking me apart with that look of yours
You’re mine, you’re fine, yeah, so sublime
I’m going crazy, Sierra… baby…

Sierra: Baby, baby, it’s the words that you say
They just kill me, kill me, kill me… oh yeah
Baby, baby, it’s that smile on your face
You drive me crazy…
Crazy…

Sierra: Yeah… forevermore
As corny as it may sound
T.O.P: What corny? Never heard of it
Sierra: Yeah… there’ll be no other
As long as you’re around
T.O.P: I’ll always be around…
Sierra: Oh yeah… baby

Sierra: Baby, baby, it’s the words that you say
They just kill me, kill me, kill me… oh yeah
Baby, baby, it’s that smile on your face
You drive me crazy…
Crazy…
T.O.P: Crazy, baby…

As soon as the song ended, everyone in the recording booth started clapping. Seung Hyung and I bowed to them and gave each other a quick hug.

“Good job for a first take,” the producer said as we walked into the control room.

“I think they have good chemistry,” Ji Yong said. “That’s always the case when the first take is good.”

“Or it could’ve been the fact that we both spent hours practicing with the demo?” Seung Hyung said.

“I’ll say both,” I laughed.

“This is a good start,” the producer said as they started playing back the recording.

I sounded decent, Seung Hyun sounded awesome. Is this really going to be a moneymaker for SM, and a start of a new career for me?

Chapter 144: HEY! (Don't Bring Me Down)

2008-10-03T21:21:00.000+08:00

[Sierra’s POV]

I’m back in the studios, and from the look on hyung’s face… I can see he has something planned for me, but he wasn’t going to tell me yet.

“Where’s Skye?” I asked hyung.

“He went for a last minute radio show,” he said. “We’d better start recording.”

I went into the booth and spent the next 3 hours there until the producers were satisfied. When the session ended, I was asked to sit down at the table. The 2 producers and hyung were about to deliver me the news they’d been holding back all day.

“We’d just fixed a deal with YG,” the producer said. “We’ve decided to bring forward your mini album.”

“What?” I exclaimed.

“Calm down, Sierra,” hyung said.

“Am I even ready for a solo career?” I asked.

“It’s been 3 years, almost 4. We should think you’re ready,” the other producer said.

“Part of your album, including another version of ‘Crazy’, will be produced by YG,” the producer continued. “And YG has picked one of their artistes to collaborate with you on the mini album version of ‘Crazy’.”

“Who is it?” I asked.

“T.O.P,” the producer said.

I sank back in my chair. This was getting more and more surreal by the minute. The whole idea of me having my own mini album was still hard to digest, and now they’re adding to it by telling me that not only is it being brought forward, it was going to get a huge amount of exposure by featuring T.O.P from Big Bang. That little appearance he had made for Uhm Jung Hwa’s D.I.S.C.O had already made it phenomenal overnight. I wondered if I could hold my own next to him.

“We’re going to start recording concurrently with your existing schedule. You’re going to be extra busy, so you’ll need to try to cope,” hyung said.

“You’ll continue to shoot ‘Girls On Top’, and we will try to fit in these recording sessions in the night, and you may miss some of your days off. You’d better be prepared,” the producer pointed out.

“Are you people really sure?” I asked them, looking from one face to the other.

“It’s decided,” the other producer said, matter-of-factly. “You just need to follow your schedule.”

“I’ll work out your new schedule soon. We may need to shift some of your events around since we’ll need to synchronize with T.O.P and G-Dragon.”

“G-Dragon?” I stammered.

The name dropping was driving me crazy. I’m going to be working with all these talented people on my solo debut, and I don’t even feel ready.

“He’ll be producing a few of your songs. T.O.P will record ‘Crazy’ with you and help out with the producing of the tracks too,” hyung explained.

“Gawd…” I exclaimed, as soon as the 2 producers had left.

“You really need to relax, Sierra. You stressing is not going to help produce a quality album,” hyung said.

“You people are really just springing everything on me,” I said. “It’s driving me nuts.”

“Get used to it,” hyung said. “At least they’re not putting you on ice…”

“S-Cube isn’t dying,” I said. “They have no reason to do that to me. I only expected them to try and boost Skye and Shoei’s popularity, since guys are easier to market. I never thought they’d push me up first.”

“They’re making their investments worth it… so you’d better not disappoint them.”

“When will our first session be?” I asked hyung.

“Next week,” he said. “It’s a good thing this 4th album is taking less time than the last one. We’ll have it on the market in time before the awards, and hope for at least a win.”

“Is that why you’re rushing the mini album as well? So that I can try to get a nomination?”

“Something like that…” he said. “If we can’t get the album out on time, we’ll release a single instead.”

“The management really is going for the kill this year,” I said.

“There are too many new acts in the market this year… just like every year, and we need you kids to exert some dominance in the market.”

“Sure…” I sighed. “Whatever you big shots want.”

That night, I called Jae Joong and whined.

“I think you can cancel your plans to come back,” I said.

“Wae? What happened?” he exclaimed.

“Remember what I told you about my mini album yesterday?”

“Yea?”

“Plans have changed…” I said.

“To what?”

“They’re bringing forward my mini album, and we’re collaborating with YG.”

“What?”

“If we can’t make a mini album on time, then we’ll just release a single.”

“They’re rushing to get you in the running for the awards season?” he said.

“Bingo…” I drawled.

“Are you sure you can handle it?”

“Why not? Filming a drama, making an album with my own band, and making another with artistes from a rival company. All in a day’s work,” I said.

“Now you’ve got me worried,” he said.

“Don’t be,” I said. “I’ll be fine. I’m just worried that I won’t be on par with T.O.P,” I said.

“T.O.P’s been hauled in?” he asked.

“And G-Dragon is producing. So, yea… I’m really nervous now,” I said.

“Well, he’s a rapper,” Jae Joong pointed out.

“He can actually sing,” I said. “And he has this unbelievable stage presence. How am I going to top that?”

“Erm… he is T.O.P,” Jae Joong laughed. “You can forget about topping that.”

“So you agree that I’m gonna fade next to him?”

“No… it was a joke. You’ll be fine,” he said. “You can sing, you can dance… there are things that you probably do better than him.”

“Like?”

“You can speak Chinese?” he said, lamely.

“Gee… that makes me feel superior now,” I said.

“You’re as good as he is,” Jae Joong said.

“Then why don’t I feel that way?”

“You need to start believing in yourself, Sierra. You’re going solo now. You need to exude confidence,” he said. “I’ve seen that side of you. You need to show it to the world now.”

“And what if they decide I’m being cocky?”

“There will always be lovers and haters. You know that. We just take it in stride.”

I kept quiet for awhile… I realized I was just beating myself up for nothing. I’ve been convincing myself that I wasn’t ready to go out alone all this while. If the management thinks I am ready, who am I to argue? They obviously see something I don’t. Or at least they are just ready to take a gamble and see if I could produce some results. This was my chance to move up.

“Araso…” I sighed.

“Good girl,” Jae Joong said, and I could picture him smiling.

“So what did you have for dinner?” I asked him, and he started yakking to me about his day.

Shoei finally got home that night. He dropped his bag on the floor and immediately slumped onto the sofa.

“So how does it feel to be married?” Skye asked him.

“Don’t ask,” he groaned.

“What did you do today? Pump iron? Do sit ups with Su Bin sitting on you?” I laughed.

He looked so beat up; you’d think he spent the day doing hard physical labour.

“We cooked dinner,” he said.

“And that wiped you out?” Skye cackled. “You’re really losing your touch, aren’t you?”

“Leave me alone,” he grumbled, and covered his face with a pillow.

“I’ll make you some tea,” I laughed, and walked off to the kitchen while Skye continued to aggravate him.

[Shoei’s POV]

I shut my eyes as Skye continued to attack me with questions.

“Here…” nuna said, and I opened my eyes to look up at her. “Have some tea.”

I sat up and took the cup of Chinese tea from her hands.

“Thanks,” I said, and took a sip. “What’s this?”

“Pu er,” she said.

“Okay…” I said, and took another sip.

“So?” she asked as she sat down beside me with her cup of tea.

“So?” I answered her question with a question.

“How’s the wife?” she smiled cheekily.

“She’s fine,” I said.

“You’re not gonna dish?” she asked.

“What’s there to dish?” I said.

“How’s your first day as a married man?” she probed.

“I kinda realized that you’re not such a pain to live with,” I said to her, and that earned me a smack on the arm.

“What did she do to you?” she laughed.

“She can’t cook. Her mood changes every other minute,” I said.

“That’s all?”

“She’s kinda weird. I just have a feeling that the way she’s acting is not the real her,” I said.

“Why do you say that?” she asked.

“Her eyes… she hardly ever meets my eyes.”

“Maybe she’s shy?” Skye piped in.

“Oh… believe me, she’s far from shy,” I said.

“But did the filming go well?” nuna asked.

“It’s fine. I think it lacked a little chemistry in the beginning, but we’re building on it.”

“Good,” she smiled.

“So anything happened while I was gone?” I asked.

“Someone’s getting her own mini album,” Skye tattled. “And just in time for the awards season.”

“What?” I exclaimed, and looked at nuna.

“I start recording next week,” she grumbled.

“I thought it was supposed to be out next year?”

“They’d decided to make the best of what’s left of this season. But that’s not the biggest issue here.”

“There’s more?” I asked.

“Big Bang’s on the album too,” she said.

“Whoah…”

“Yea… I had that same reaction,” Skye laughed.

“Just 2 of them though,” she added. “T.O.P and G-Dragon.”

“Just? These 2 are enough to shoot your album to the top of the charts,” I said.

I’d just gone for a day and it felt as if the whole road map for our careers have changed drastically.

“I told hyung I wasn’t ready,” she complained. “But he and the management didn’t give me any choice.”

“You are ready,” I said to her. “If you wait any longer, you’d be past your prime.”

“Gee… thanks for reminding me,” she said sarcastically.

“You think they’d fund a project that’s going to be D.O.A?” I said.

“I know… but it’s just freaking me out,” she said.

“Just do what you’re supposed to do,” I said.

“I’m just worried about the live performances that would come. I don’t feel ready to perform on my own.”

“Nuna… you’ve had collaborations with Brian and Hwan Hee, with Hae Rin… with so many others. Why would you be nervous now?”

“Cos this is my album? My first real solo project,” she said.

“Nuna… sometimes you make me feel like strangling you,” Skye said, his voice was serious and hard.

Chapter 143: 신사 (Gentleman)

2008-09-21T00:39:00.000+08:00

{Girls On Top: Episode 10, Scene 5}

“Are you going to keep running?” Ho Young asked as he caught up with Maya.

“Leave me alone,” Maya walked on without looking at him.

“Maya…” he said her name, and reached out to grab her arm.

“Let me go,” she pleaded as she tried to shrug him off.

“You’re ending it like this? Just because of a guy who has blown you off more times you can remember?” he said.

“What I do is my own business. I don’t need you to chaperone me.”

“Listen to me for a moment,” he said as he tugged her on her arm roughly, bringing her to a stop.

“Aah… you’re hurting me…” she said as continued to struggle away from him.

“Keumanhae!” he shouted at her, and she stilled for a moment.

“Mianhae,” she said, her voice choking with emotion.

“I don’t want an apology,” he said as he turned her so that they were face to face.

“I can’t give you anything but an apology,” she said.

“You owe me more than an apology,” he insisted.

“I know…” she half-whispered. “But it’s too late.”

“Why? Tell me why? Why is it ever too late?” he asked her gently. “We can always start again.”

“It’s too late,” she repeated. “Si Won and I…”

“What about you and him?”

“We’re married,” she said.

{End of scene}

[Sierra’s POV]

I’m sitting in the dressing room, worn out from yesterday’s recording session and this morning’s filming for ‘Girls On Top’.

“Coffee?” Darren stopped beside me and held out a paper cup.

“No thanks,” I smiled. “I’m allergic to caffeine.”

“Really?” he raised an eyebrow. “Then how do you keep awake for all those recording sessions?”

“Decaf…” I said.

“Ah… no wonder you look so tired. There’s nothing like a kick of caffeine to get you going,” he said.

“I know that… but sadly… I can’t afford that.”

“Huh?”

“Back to my first answer: I’m allergic to caffeine.”

“Oh…” he smiled. “Gotcha,” he said, and turned to walk off.

Last night’s recording session was the toughest. I couldn’t capture the mood for my solo piece, and I had to do it again and again. The producers didn’t understand that the sexiness starts to wane when you get tired. By the time I did my 20th take, I was already feeling far from confident and sexy.

“Hyung,” I spoke into the talkback microphone, signaling for my manager to talk to me.

Shi Kyung hyung clicked on the button.

“Wae?”

“I can’t go on,” I said.

“One more take,” he urged me.

“My voice is cracking up,” I said. “I can feel it, you can hear it.”

He sighed and looked at the producers. They nodded, and all at once, I could taste my freedom.

“Okay,” he said. “It’s a wrap for today. We’ll come back here tomorrow afternoon.”

“Thanks,” I said.

After my next scene on ‘Girls On Top’, I’ll need to rush back to the studios. Skye had made me a flask of warm honey this morning, which I had been sipping whenever I had a free moment. It was a very uncommon gesture from him. I supposed that he felt that he had to take care of me since Shoei wasn’t around. Shoei was usually the one who did these things for us. Surprisingly, it tasted fine.

Shoei had been filming his first episode for ‘We Got Married’ yesterday. Today would be the first morning of his ‘marriage’. I’m wondering how he fared.

[Shoei’s POV]

I was awoken by the smell of cooking. I opened my eyes slowly and looked around my foreign surroundings. It took me a minute to remember that I wasn’t at home; in the apartment I shared with nuna and Skye.

I sat up, rubbed my eyes and yawned. I didn’t feel like waking up, and I am guessing that the crew is outside filming Su Bin as she cooked. I’ll need to make myself presentable before I got in front of the camera.

“Oppa…” I could hear Su Bin calling.

Should I pretend to be asleep? Or should I walk out and face the cameras? I decided to be a slob. I stood in front of the mirror and straightened out my hair as much as I could, then jumped back into bed to pretend I was asleep all along. As soon as I got into bed, I heard a soft knock on the door.

“Oppa…” Su Bin whispered as she slowly opened the door. “Are you awake?”

I lay still, the blankets covering my face. I felt the mattress sink as she climbed onto the bed. She grabbed the blankets and tugged it away from my face.

“Oppa… wake up,” she said.

“Hmm?” I said, pretending to be confused as I slowly opened my eyes.

“Wake up,” she smiled at me. “I’ve made us breakfast.”

“Nuguseyo?” I said sleepily, and covered my face with a pillow.

“Oppa!” she exclaimed, laughing. “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten you’re married?”

“Huh?” I said as I threw the pillow aside and sat up abruptly.

“Oppa… wake up,” she laughed as she lightly patted my face on either side with her hands.

“Oh… Su Bin,” I said, with my best expression of a dazed person.

“Good morning,” she smiled.

She was always smiling. She’d been smiling ever since she came into the room. Didn’t her face feel tired?

“Good morning,” I yawned.

“Oppa… we have a mission today,” she said.

“What is it?” I asked.

“We have to go grocery shopping, and make a meal together,” she said.

“Did they specify what sort of food?” I said, scratching my head.

I am so ruining my sex god image. Here I am in my pajamas, scratching my head…

“It has to be something we both can cook,” she said.

“Hmm…” I pondered for a bit. “Let me wash up and we’ll talk over breakfast.”

“Okay,” she smiled and slid off the bed.

The cameras followed her, giving me a moment to dash into the bathroom to make myself presentable. 10 minutes was all I needed. I took a quick shower since we’ll need to go out, and quickly got dressed and slicked back my hair.

“Wow! You’re fast!” she exclaimed when I walked out.

“Years of practice,” I laughed. “You need to learn how to get ready quickly if you want an extra 10 minutes of sleep each morning.”

“It’s easy for guys,” she pouted. “Girls need makeup.”

“You’ll need to learn to put it on while moving,” I laughed.

“You’re so funny, oppa,” she laughed. “Come see what I’ve made for breakfast.”

It turns out that she could actually make a basic meal. There was rice, kimch’i pancakes, seaweed soup and some side dishes to go with everything.

“Did you have help?” I smiled at her.

“I made the rice, pancakes and soup. The side dishes are from my mother.”

Here was another Solbi; reeling her mother in to help. At least she wanted to do a good job.

“Looks good,” I said as I sat down.

“Try it,” she said as she sat down in front of me.

I picked up my chopsticks and used it to break off a piece of pancake. The texture was fine, but the flour was pretty tasteless if not for the kimch’i.

“Eottae?” she looked at me with big searching eyes.

“It’s alright,” I smiled. “Needs a bit salt… for the flour.”

“Really?” she said and put a piece in her mouth.

She chewed thoughtfully for a moment, as if willing the taste of the pancake to change for the better, then her expression crumbled a little.

“You’re right,” she sighed.

“It’s not too bad,” I smiled and picked up my spoon.

I put a spoonful of soup in my mouth and immediately started coughing and sputtering.

“Oppa!” she exclaimed. “Kwaench’ana?”

I could only nod as I tried to control the cough. Tears were starting to form in my eyes.

“What’s wrong with the soup?” she asked and she tasted it herself.

I was about to stop her, but I was too late. She started coughing like crazy as well.

“Too much pepper,” I wheezed as I grabbed the glass of water next to me took a sip.

“Mianhae…” she coughed, and I passed her a glass of water, which she accepted gratefully.

“Don’t you taste the food when you’re cooking it?” I asked, and she shook her head.

“I thought it would be fine,” she said mournfully.

“It’s not too bad,” I said, realizing that she was starting to feel bad.

I put the bowl of soup in front of me, picked up my bowl of rice and tipped it into the bowl.

“Oppa! You don’t have to… you can’t drink something like that,” she exclaimed.

“It’s okay,” I smiled, as I stirred the rice into the soup. “If you put the rice in, it won’t sting so much. Now that I know it’s spicy, I won’t have such a drastic reaction. The pepper was unexpected, that’s why we reacted that way.”

I put a spoonful of the soup and rice in my mouth. It was still a little spicy, but bearable now. It could be the pepper was on the surface of the soup earlier.

“Wanna try?” I asked her, and pushed the bowl towards her.

She took a tiny scoop of it and put it in her mouth, then her face lit up again when she realized it was actually edible now.

“Oppa, mani meokgo,” she smiled, and started helping herself to the other food.

I laughed and shook my head at her antics. A moment ago she was devastated when she thought she’d failed. Now that she realized she hadn’t, she was bright and chirpy again. It’s going to be interesting to see how I will fare with a girl who had such volatile moods.

[Su Bin’s POV]

Shoei oppa was a nice guy. Shoei oppa is a very nice guy. I’m starting to believe that nothing can make him react the way Darren oppa was hoping he would.

The pepper on the soup had been on purpose. I thought he’d have blown up and yelled at me for being a bad cook, or anything along those lines. I never thought he’d actually try to eat it anyway. He really is a patient guy.

I can cook… I’d been trying hard not to cook in the past few days. I don’t know how long I could stand my bad cooking, let alone Shoei oppa. Maybe this wasn’t the way to get him to react negatively towards me. But how do I do it without making myself look bad along the way?

“I’ll clean up,” he said as soon as we’d finished eating.

I immediately felt bad that I’d left such a mess in the kitchen.

“It’s alright, I can do it,” I quickly said.

“I’ll do it,” he said as he picked up all the dishes on the table and walked into the kitchen.

He stopped as soon as he got to the door. I cringed, wondering what would be his reaction. Then… he started laughing. I turned to look at him.

“Yah!” he laughed as he walked in to put down the dishes in the sink. “Did you blow up the kitchen or something? This is unbelievable.”

This is the last time I’m doing this. I’ll have to find some other way to egg him.

Chapter 142: Let's Get It On

2008-09-07T14:42:00.002+08:00

I guess no one saw Chapter 141 :P It was below the video ^_^ Nevermind... 2 chapters to read then :P

******

[Shoei’s POV]

“Oppa… mashisseo?” Su Bin smiled at me as we ate.

We’d just finished unpacking and organizing our apartment. Our first dinner together consisted of ramyun and eggs cracked into the soup.

“Mashisseo,” I smiled at her.

The soup was tasteless, and I’d crunched on a few eggshells so far.

“Do you ever cook at home?” I asked her.

“No,” she said. “We don’t have time to cook. We always order takeouts or get some cup noodles.”

“I see…” I said, and slurped more noodles.

“Do you cook?” she asked me.

“Not very often. When the mood hits me, I’ll make sushi or kimbap,” I said. “Nuna would cook once in awhile.”

“Nuna? Oh… you mean Sierra?” she asked.

“Ne,” I said.

“I’m a bit jealous of Sierra onni. She has you and Skye oppa on each side, and then she has Jae Joong oppa right behind her.”

“I guess most girls would be jealous,” I smiled. “But she has a very stressful life. She has to keep up with the band, and maintain a relationship with such a busy boyfriend.”

“Busy boyfriends are good. They make enough money,” she smiled.

“I guess so,” I replied.

I have a feeling that we wouldn’t get so much airtime for this episode. Our conversations were pretty cold and pointless, and I am not feeling any screen chemistry with her; no one needed to tell me that. I just didn’t feel taken by her, but I had to act remotely interested and compliant.

We finished up dinner, and she cleared the table while I washed the dishes.

“Oppa… let’s go for a walk,” she said.

“A walk? Now? Isn’t it a bit cold?”

“I think a walk can help us get to know each other better,” she said. “Don’t you think?”

I contemplated for awhile, then conceded.

“Why not,” I said.

We had nothing to do in the apartment anyway. A walk might help us loosen up. Then again, I find her pretty loose. It was I who was wound up.

I suspect that it’s because I’m away from the band. Not seeing Skye and nuna for a day always felt odd. Even after those months I’d spent alone in Tokyo. What about my feelings for nuna? I think they’re almost forgotten. She seems really committed to Jae Joong hyung, and I won’t be surprised if they get married soon. As for my love life, maybe it’s time to rock the boat.

We went to that same park where we’d met up earlier today. Su Bin skipped ahead of me as if she were having the time of her life. I felt like such a grouch. She sure was committed to creating a positive image of herself on the show. Then again, when we were all starting out, didn’t we all want recognition in the same way?

“Su Bin-ah,” I called out to her as I sat down on a bench. “Come sit here.”

“Ne,” she smiled and skipped back to me.

“Are you cold?” I asked as she sat down beside me.

“I’m fine,” she said, and sniffed discreetly.

I pulled my right arm out of my jacket’s right sleeve, and put my arm around her before enveloping her inside my jacket.

“Better?” I asked her, and she just nodded wordlessly.

I think she was a bit shocked at my sudden gesture, and was silent for a good 5 minutes. This should get our ratings skyrocketing.

“Su Bin-ah,” I said. “What’s your dream?”

“My dream?”

“Where do you see yourself in the next 5 years?” I asked her.

“Me?”

“Yea… what do you have planned?”

“Maybe I’ll be a mother,” she smiled.

“In 5 years?” I asked. “What about singing?”

“I can have children and still sing,” she said.

“I’d prefer my wife to stop singing,” I said. “I should be able to provide for my family.”

“Well… if I had a really successful husband, I can stop working,” she said.

“So do you think you can stop working now?” I teased.

“Hmm… you’re doing well, oppa. But not well enough yet,” she said. “Maybe in 5 years… I can stop working, and we can focus on children.”

“Sounds good,” I said.

[Su Bin’s POV]

Shooting had wrapped, and we were now doing our individual interviews. Shoei oppa insisted that I went first.

“How did it feel today?” the interviewer asked me.

“Surreal,” I laughed.

“How so? He was not as you expected?”

“He’s so good looking in person, and a real gentleman,” I said. “But it stops there.”

“You were expecting more interaction with him?”

“Not really…” I said. “As a trainee, I’d always heard that Shoei oppa was a quiet guy. He didn’t speak for the sake of making conversation. He was the kind of guy who liked to keep communication simple. So I didn’t expect much.”

“So did meeting him confirm your impressions?”

“He’s a bit friendlier than people had described him to be. Maybe it’s the pressure of doing the show,” I laughed.

“All that talk about children today; the both of you seem to be on the same page when it comes to family ideals.”

“Are we?” I laughed. “I guess it’s natural. This may be a fake marriage, but when you feel like you’re married to someone, you tend to start setting some ideals and dreams. You can’t get by each day just talking about the trivial stuff. Eventually, you’ll start talking about the matters of your heart.”

“So you feel that you’ve opened up more than him?”

“Maybe,” I smiled.

“Did anything happen today that made you feel like he’s opening up more?”

“Hmm…” I contemplated. “Maybe when he put his coat around me in the park.”

“And how did that feel?”

“Warm,” I smiled. “And protected.”

“Alright… thank you, Su Bin-shi. You may go now.”

“Thank you.”

I got up off the chair and left the room.

“You’re done?” Shoei oppa asked as I walked out of the room.

“Ne,” I replied. “You can go in now.”

“Alright. Bye,” he said easily, and went in without a second glance.

Today had been a day of mixed emotions. I can see that Shoei oppa was a good guy. He’s a bit cold, but still, he was nice. Whenever I thought of what Darren oppa wanted me to do to him, I felt sick. If Shoei oppa was going to be this easygoing all the time, it would be difficult for me to sabotage him. My conscience would not allow it.

[Shoei’s POV]

I sat in the chair and faced the interviewer, ready for any of the questions she would throw at me.

“How are you, Shoei-shi?” she asked.

“I’m okay,” I replied.

“How was your first day of marriage?”

“I don’t think I can say much yet,” I said. “It’s barely 12 hours. I’ll need more time.”

“Do you like her?”

“She’s a very sweet girl. She’s cheerful and fun to be around.”

“Is she what you expect in your wife?”

“Erm… I’m hoping that my wife could cook a little better,” I laughed softly.

“What do you mean? Was there something wrong with your dinner?”

“I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but the soup was tasteless and there were eggshells in the noodles.”

“I’m sure she knows that.”

“Right,” I smiled. “And so the key to a good relationship here is to pretend everything is alright.”

“Is that how you handle all your relationships?”

“I’ve not really dated since my debut, so if it’s based on my experiences long ago, it’s a good way to keep the peace in a relationship.”

“So the key phrase for today is ‘Pretend there is nothing wrong.’?”

“Ne,” I laughed.

“What about your discussion about children? You’ve talked about children at least twice today.”

“Ah… I think it’s because we don’t have many common topics,” I laughed.

“Not because you really do want to have children?”

“Not now, and not in the near future. I think I’ll wait till I’m 30 before I think of having children.”

“So the time is not right?”

“No.”

“Do you think Su Bin-shi is the right girl for you?”

“Well… I have an ideal girl, and I am sure the media has more or less educated the public about her.”

“Your band mate, Sierra?”

“Ne,” I smiled.

“Ever thought about dating her?”

“She’s an ideal girl, and a girl I will use to measure other girls with. But the girl I will eventually marry will of course be unique in her own way. I just want her to have certain qualities.”

“Such as?”

“Integrity, bravery, compassion, honesty and loyalty.”

“These are very strong qualities. Usually you find them in a man.”

“I feel that my other half should be able to support me emotionally. Beauty and youth is secondary. It’s a true and strong heart that matters.”

“And does Su Bin-shi possess any of these?”

“I’ll find out soon,” I smiled.

“Okay,” she laughed. “So why did you decide to keep Su Bin-shi warm?”

“Why?”

“What were the thoughts running through your mind when you did that?”

“She’s a girl, and she’s cold. I can’t brave the cold on my own, so I did the most logical thing. Share my jacket.”

“I see… any special feelings about the gesture?”

“I still feel it’s too soon to feel anything. But if you’re fishing for some comments, I’ll just say that she’s really small, and it was kind of nice to hold her.”

“Ah… keuraejyo?”

“It’s always nice to have someone to hold,” I smiled. “It’s something humans crave for. Especially when it’s cold.”

“Right,” she smiled. “Thank you Shoei-shi.”

“Thank you,” I replied and left the room.
Su Bin was waiting outside as I walked out.

“You’re still here?” I asked her.

“Yea… thought we’d go to bed together,” she said, then looked embarrassed when she realized that her words may have come out wrong.

“Okay,” I smiled.

The crew left the apartment. Su Bin slept in the master bedroom while I slept in the guest bedroom.

I couldn’t sleep at first, tossing and turning on the foreign bed. The wheels were turning in my head, but I wasn’t sure what was being processed. I missed my bed? I’m afraid that Su Bin would come and pounce on me?

“Go to sleep!” I told myself sternly, and another 10 minutes later, I slept.

FIND Collab

2008-08-23T11:37:00.003+08:00

Xing and I are so in love with this song, we'd decided to do a collab. No prizes for guessing who's who ^_^ This is just very random slideshow I made to make listening to the song more bearable.

Btw... there's a new chapter below this post :P

Chapter 141: Last Angel

2008-08-23T01:29:00.001+08:00

[Sierra’s POV]

We got home earlier than usual tonight. I could sense that Shoei wasn’t feeling perky at all and it had nothing to do with his upcoming stint on We Got Married. After showering and clearing up some of the mess in my room, I decided to give him a pep talk.

“Shoei,” I called out as I tapped on his door with my nails in an offbeat rhythm.

“Come in,” he said, and I let myself in.

He was sitting in front of his laptop, tapping away as if he was writing a novel.

“How’s the memoir coming?” I joked.

“It’s almost done. Just adding the bits about my reactions to your scandals,” he replied without looking at me, but I could see the corners of his mouth turn up in a smile.

“What’s up with you today?” I asked as I flopped onto his bed.

“Nothing,” he sighed, and clicked the ‘Shut Down’ button on his computer screen.

“Then why do I see dark clouds looming above your head?” I asked.

“Odi?” he said and waved at the imaginary clouds above his head, making me giggle.

“They’re gone now,” I laughed, and he just smiled back.

“I’m fine. Just a little shaken, but I’m okay now.”

“Shaken by the news of your upcoming marriage?” I said.

“Do you have you put it that way?” he asked.

“How else shall I put it then?”

“Let’s just call it an engagement,” he said.

“A long one at that,” I smiled, and he thumped me with a pillow.

“You’re not getting cuter with age,” he said.

“It’s only been 3 years,” I said.

“And look at what it’s done to you,” he laughed, and this time, I thumped him with a pillow.

“So what’s annoying you?”

“I’m just feeling like a scapegoat. Someone they keep turning to when things don’t look too peachy for the band.”

“Look on the bright side. It just means that you’re dependable,” I pointed out.

“I am, huh?” he sighed.

“S-Cube is counting on your to revive our reputation,” I said. “You have to be strong,” I added, holding up my fist.

“This is only going to help or kill my reputation,” he said. “It may not affect the band’s.”

“Well… we’re releasing our 4th album soon. It will help with publicity. Don’t you think?”

“Maybe,” he said.

“I’m sure your wife… I mean… fiancée… is a nice girl. Be nice to her, eh?”

“I’ll try,” he said. “But I really have no recollections of her. Ex-SM trainee?”

“That’s what Skye said.”

“Let’s hope she’s not psychotic.”

“It’s gonna turn up on national TV,” I reminded him. “As long as you behave, I think everything would go well.”

“Hah… behave? The reason they have reality shows is to watch people misbehave.”

“Good point,” I laughed. “But try to hold back, will ya?”

“Araso,” he laughed.

[Su Bin’s POV]

“I need you to do this for me,” Darren oppa said to me as he clasped my hand in his.

“I can’t,” I said.

“Do you love me?” he asked me.

“I do. But what if I fail? It’ll just make me look bad,” I said.

“I’ll never get a chance like this ever again. You’re my only hope,” he pressed on.

“What if he doesn’t take the bait?” I asked.

“He’s a guy. He will,” he said.

I knew Darren oppa always wanted to succeed, but I didn’t know he had such a strong rivalry with S-Cube. What he was planning seemed beneath him.

“I still can’t get used to the idea,” I said.

“Just find every chance you have to make him look bad. Make him look like a jerk. You’ll push him to his limit someday.”

[Shoei’s POV]

It’s D-day…

I walked towards the park where I was supposed to meet Su Bin. The camera crews followed me. One right in front, filming my expression, and one behind me to make sure everyone can see what’s ahead of me.

“Are you nervous?” one of the staff asked; I suppose she doubles as an interviewer.

“A little,” I smiled at her, and the only reason was that I had no idea what this Su Bin looked like.

“Do you know who she is?” she asked me.

“I don’t know her well,” I replied. “So I’m waiting to be surprised.”

We turned the corner, and there she was sitting on a park bench. I walked up to her, and she stood up, smiling at me as I approached.

“Annyeonghaseyo,” she bowed.

“Annyeonghaseyo,” I bowed back.

Now I remember her. She was the girl who always tagged along with Hae Rin last time. She looked a little different now; a little more mature and sophisticated. When I last saw her, she still looked like a trainee. It could be because I usually saw her in t-shirts and jeans or sweatpants.

“Our place is just across the road. Shall we?” I asked her.

“Sure,” she smiled.

We took a short walk across the park, towards the entrance of our apartment building.

“Oppa… I’m so glad they picked you for me,” she said.

“Really?” I raised an eyebrow at her.

“Keuraeyo…” she said. “Shoei of S-Cube… you’re an idol,” she said and giggled demurely.

“Komawo,” I smiled at her, and we were silent for the next minute or 2 before we arrived at the elevator.

“Oppa…” she said. “Can you carry me up?”

“Huh?” I said, and looked at her puzzled. “Doesn’t the groom usually carry the bride into their new home?”

“Oh… keuge…” I said. “Let’s take the elevator up, and I’ll carry you into the apartment, okay? I don’t think I can carry anyone up 20 floors,” I smiled.

“Chintcha?” she exclaimed and clasped her hands together in glee.

“Ne…” I smiled.

The elevator arrived and we got into it. The cameras were off for a moment while we took the ride up to the 20th floor. We were all silent in the elevator, and we hardly looked at each other, but the moment we got out and the cameras were on again, she turned on her perky character like a switch.

“Let’s start from here, oppa,” she said as she bounced up and down on the spot just outside the elevator.

“Here?” I asked.

“Eum… yeogi,” she nodded.

Actually, I wasn’t looking forward to carrying anyone or anything. But for the sake my image and the show, I had to comply. I’m starting to feel that she wasn’t going to give me an easy ‘marriage’.

“Araso,” I said.

I bent down to scoop her up in one movement, taking her by surprise. She squealed, and I just smiled as I carried her and walked up the corridor to our apartment. She wasn’t heavy at all. In fact, she felt like nothing. Thank god…

“Open it,” I said, when we arrived at the door, indicating for her to open the cover of the number pad to key in the security code.

She reached out her hand and flipped it open.

“What’s the code?” she asked me, and for a moment, I turned to look at the crew around us.

“Don’t worry, that will be edited out of the clips,” one of the staff assured me.

I told Su Bin the code. She punched it in, and pushed open the door. As the door swung open, I decided to be unpredictable. I’d visited the apartment yesterday, and since I knew my way around, I carried her all the way to the bedroom and dump her on the bed unceremoniously.

“Oww…” she groaned and rubbed her butt.

“Wae?” I asked. “Is the bed too hard?” I laughed.

“Oppa… you’re so bad…” she whined.

“Come on,” I said, as I held out a hand to her. “Let’s take a look around and see if you like our place.”

She put her hand in mine and I pulled her up, off the bed. The cameras trailed after us as we walked around the place.

The management had been pretty generous when they rented this place. They obviously wanted to make the public think that I’m doing very well as a member of S-Cube.

“Wa… oppa… you must earn a lot if you can get us a place like this,” she exclaimed as we walked into the spacious living room.

“I do at least 1 event a week, so I’m pretty set,” I laughed.

“Wow… I’m doing 1 a week too, but I guess it’ll take me sometime before I can actually contribute,” she giggled.

“You’ll have to work harder. We need to save more so that we can feed the kids,” I said.

“Kids?” she exclaimed.

“Of course,” I winked. “What’s a marriage without children?”

“How many do you want?” she smiled and sat on the coffee colored leather couch in front of a 40 inch plasma television.

“I’m not too greedy,” I said. “A basketball team will do.”

“Omo! Oppa! That’s exactly what I was thinking about,” she squealed.

This was going to be a long day…

[Sierra’s POV]

It was finally here. The moment I had been so afraid of since I became a gasoo. Skye was sitting in the control room, watching me with the sound engineer. Today, I would record alone, and this was going to be my song and my song alone.

Shi Kyung hyung tossed me the lyrics and the demo CD last week.

“Learn this,” he said.

“What’s this?” I asked.

“It’s your solo,” he said.

“Solo?”

“Wuaaa!” Skye immediately exclaimed excitedly. “You’re gonna do a solo?”

“But hyung,” I said. “Isn’t this album going to be all covers?” I asked as I scanned through the lyrics.

It wasn’t a song I knew, but I knew that it was written for me. The lyrics were foreign, but I recognized them to be the dreaded solo that the management had been waiting to spring on me.

“It’s going to be a bonus track, and you will follow up that bonus track with your own mini album early next year. This is just to get the fans excited,” he elaborated.

“Won’t they call me a sell out? Skye and Shoei don’t have solos,” I protested.

“Shoei and Skye have their own solo projects. Yours will be your mini album,” he said.

I couldn’t argue since it in the contract. I would do everything mapped out for me, like it or not. As much as I wanted to hate the song, it went well with the album. We were doing covers, and my song had a 80s Pop feel to it; a little Madonna and a little George Michael. In short, it was sexy and innovative, as much as it sounded old school, which made it true to S-Cube’s style.

“Ready?” the engineer asked, and I nodded.

The track started playing, and it reminded me a lot of Wham!’s ‘Everything She Wants’. I zoned myself into the sexiest mood I could think of, and channeled my best version of Madonna+Sierra I could think of.

Let me look in your eyes
Let me see through your mind~
Won’t you hold my hand
Make me feel alright~

It’s just not gonna work
If you’re not gonna tell me~
It’s just not gonna work
If you can’t be a man about it~

Baby, baby, it’s the words that you say
They just kill me, kill me, kill me… oh yeah
Baby, baby, it’s that smile on your face
You drive me crazy…
Crazy…

Let me open your eyes
Let me open your mind~
I have your hand in mine
Don’t you feel alright~

This has got to work
And you’re so gonna tell me~
This is so gonna work
Baby now that you love me~

Baby, baby, it’s the words that you say
They just kill me, kill me, kill me… oh yeah
Baby, baby, it’s that smile on your face
You drive me crazy…
Crazy…

Yeah… forevermore
As corny as it may sound
Yeah… there’ll be no other
As long as you’re around
Oh yeah… baby

Baby, baby, it’s the words that you say
They just kill me, kill me, kill me… oh yeah
Baby, baby, it’s that smile on your face
You drive me crazy…
Crazy…

Wishing for Everything

2008-08-16T03:02:00.007+08:00

and Blogging for Gold...

It's not exactly gold I was wishing for... I had a dream... 나는 꿈은 있어... and it's known as the Anycall Haptic. All TVXQ fans would know what a Haptic is. Oh... 너무 하고 싶어... Unfortunately, I do not live South Korea, so I had to scourge the entire local mobile phone market for something that was close enough, or better than the Haptic.

It kinda looks like the Samsung F480, but it's much more fun.

Lo and behold... it does exist... No... it's not the Haptic... 아니야... 아니야... 근대... 니가 암실망... I wasn't disappointed. I found the closest relative, and probably a superior to the Haptic. The Samsung Omnia!!!

Don't you just wanna kneel down and pick it up, and kiss it? ^_^

I used to have this fear of touchscreen gadgets, but I happened to touch this baby about a week ago, and I can assure you that you don't need to be all gentle with it. It will be able to withstand some of your more... aggressive caresses. Tee hee! The screen was such a fun and interesting interface compared to all the other phones I have ever encountered. I've already forsaken my favorite brand, which I shall not mention since it would be unfair to them, and have been fixated on the Omnia ever since I met it. It's a little pricey at the moment because of all the hype for it, so I'm biding my time, saving up, and waiting to see if it will go on offer ^_^

What's 'Omnia' anyway? The site said that it meant ‘everything’ in Latin and ‘wish’ in Arabic... indeed... 맞다... So what do I have to do to get it? Fawn, drool, kick and scream? No... I need to blog about what it means to own 'omnia' (everything).

I'm not about to get all technical and blog about all the specs of the phone or where to get it. These are not the highlights of my post, but in any case, I will try to slip them in whenever possible. What I would really like to talk about is how owning a piece of material possesion such as this would be able to make a difference in one's life...

I have just gone through 2 months of being jobless, loaning money from my parents, free meals from my aunt, not being able to shop on a whim and battling depression at the same time. I've just gotten a job now, gotten my own place, I'm back on track, and I so want the Omnia now to complete the picture for me. And I would be able to take that perfect picture with it's 5MP camera \(",)/ I want my perfect life back; the one where I had almost everything, and felt on top of the world. If anything was close to perfect, and could perfect my life now, it would be to own a piece of art like the Omnia.

I am sure some people find it ridiculous. It's just a phone... duh... to some people, a phone is the single most important object which provides them with a social life, without it, they won't be able to have a phonebook filled with the 500 numbers of people out of only which they call 20? The trend chasers, who change their phones as often as one shopped for a bag of rice. Those who value family and relationships, it is a means of staying connected with loved ones.

Some people treat the their mobile phones like any piece of gadget they own... it's just to serve its basic purpose... making a call. Many people want phones that entertain them wherever, whenever. And then, you have the category of those who view the phone as a piece of asset which defines their success and screams "I have arrived!" I believe I belong to this category... and those who belong in this category would treasure such a piece of technology more than anyone else.

Back to the Olympics theme... well... one thing's for sure... when you hold this in your hands, you will definitely feel like you're holding a bar of gold. No... not because of it's weight, since it's ridiculously light for a phone of it's caliber, but because it is the pure crème de la crème of technology. It has everything you would ask for in a phone; WiFi, 3G, 5MP camera, a touchscreen that touches you back ^_^ huge user memory, etc. and I think the winning point would be STYLE. Yes, girls... it is a fashion statement too!

I think that if I had the Omnia in my hand while I strut down any street... I would feel like I had the world at my feet, and everything in my hands. Then... like everything should be... with another wish fulfilled... my life would be close to complete.

Blog for an Omnia.

We interrupt this transmission...

2008-08-16T03:00:00.000+08:00

Bzzzz.... bzzz....

^_^

First of all, I apologise for not posting a new chapter. Next... I am interrupting this fiction to post my first ever commercial blog. You may want to forgive the very 'Chariots of Fire' sounding tone for the opening... I'm a little swayed by the festivities of the 2008 Beijing Olympics, and after all, the company whose product I am about to blog about is an Olympic sponsor. Enjoy!!!

Chapter 140: NO PAIN NO GAIN

2008-07-31T00:27:00.001+08:00

“This is you?” I asked, trying not to stutter.

“Ne…” she said. “I didn’t think that you should know this early in the relationship, but since you insisted.”

I stared at the photo, and back at her. It was the same face, the same glint in her eyes, but the features… they weren’t as prominent as the ones that were right in front of me; double eyelids, a sharp nose, defined cheekbones, a smaller jaw line...

“Wae?” she asked. “Shilmang?”

“Ani,” I shook my head.

“It’s alright if you’re disappointed. I’m used to it,” she said.

“Why would I be disappointed?” I smiled. “I got the prettier girl,” I said, and she smiled.

Plastic surgery was common among celebrities in South Korea, and even among the girls within DSP. What I wasn’t prepared for was to be actually dating a girl who’d had her face done.

“I totally get why you’re shocked. But at least you’re taking it a little more positively. I’ve seen a lot of looks of curiosity, pity and I’ve even encountered disgust.”

“Disgust?”

“Yes… I think some people are turned off by the idea. But as you can see, I needed it. I would not be where I am today with that face.”

“Hmm…” was all I could muster.

“How very supportive of you,” she joked.

“Honestly, I don’t mind at all. But I think you should get a new license. The police are going to have a hard time believing this license if yours if you ever get pulled over,” I said as I handed the card back to her.

“Yea… it’s expiring soon. I’ll get a new one later,” she smiled, and put it back in her wallet.

“So… let’s get out of here,” I said.

“Can I drive now?” she asked.

“Sure,” I replied, and tossed her the keys, which she caught expertly.

[Su Bin’s POV]

It’s been a long time since we met, but he was here. We’d decided to meet up somewhere secluded, away from the prying eyes of my band mates. We were in this together, but it seems like they’re watching my back for all the wrong reasons. Puri especially; she’s always around to remind me that she was ready to out me if I ever screwed up. Sylvia would never commit to whether she actually liked me or hated me. She was always acting like the neutral person, when the only neutral person was Shin Hee because she was too innocent to care about the political stuff.

“You’re late,” Darren oppa said, as he stood up.

“Our schedule was delayed today,” I explained.

“Do you really wanna play that card with me?” he smiled and pulled me into his arms.

“Well… do we have any other better excuses?”

“Not that I know of,” he laughed and led me towards his car.

“Where are we going?” I asked him.

“We’re just gonna sit in my car,” he said. “Why?”

“Oppa… I think you’re aging,” I said.

“Why do you say that?”

“You’re getting less and less creative with each date.”

“So? You’re gonna dump me if you don’t get more?”

“Huh?” I was a little surprised with his reply.

“Huh?” he mimicked.

“Keugo aniya…” I said.

“Good,” he said. “Cos sometimes, it’s just tiring to have to entertain people all day long.”

“You know I’m not asking for that,” I said.

“Sounded like it.”

“Well, it’s not,” I said.

“Araso…” he said as we got into his car and he started the engine.

He turned on some music and took out 2 bottles of drinks.

“Which one do you want?” he said, holding up both bottles to me.

“Igot,” I said, and took one out of his hand.

“So what is it you wanted to tell me,” he asked as he unscrewed his bottle.

“I got a job,” I said.

“Don’t you already have one?”

“I mean a spot on TV,” I said.

“I see,” he said. “What show?”

“That’s the thing I wanted you to know.”

“What?”

“We Got Married,” I said.

“Mwo?” he said, a little surprised.

“They managed to get me a spot on We Got Married.”

“For once, they’re really doing their jobs well; a newcomer on a hit reality show.”

“That was what I was thinking. How many newcomers get a chance like this? But you know I’m not that ambitious. I just want to be able to do what I like.”

“And getting to do what you like means having to remain popular,” he said. “So who are they pairing you with?”

“This is the other shocker,” I said.

“Okay… I can sense the dread in your voice. Just spit it out,” he said.

“Shoei… of S-Cube.”

[Shoei’s POV]

“Mwo?” I exclaimed.

Nuna and Skye were bug-eyed, while Shi Kyung hyung just sat there as if this were a teeny-tiny issue.

“You start filming next week. This will be good publicity for your upcoming album. Try to get it featured a little on the show.”

“Why me?” I asked.

“Sierra’s taken, and the show’s PDs would be placing their own necks on the chopping block if they pair her with anyone but Jae Joong. No one wants to know about their love life anyway since it’s old news.”

“Gee… thanks hyung,” nuna smirked.

“Skye here… he’s an open book.”

“Oh… sure he is…” I said sarcastically.

“To the media, there is nothing they have not seen from Skye. You have always been a mystery, and they’d like to see how you really are in a relationship.”

“You mean how I would be, ideally, in a relationship,” I pointed out.

“Oh well… you know. TV…” he shrugged.

“Who’s my partner?”

“Su Bin, from Eoduun Cheonsa,” he said.

“Oh… great. I’ve never even met her yet.”

“She was Hae Rin’s roommate,” Skye said. “She was a SM trainee.”

“That’s helpful info,” I said.

“Aww… come on,” nuna said. “It can’t be that bad.”

“Would you like it if I paired you with Darren?” I asked her.

“Hey… that’s a low blow. At least your relationship with Su Bin is neutral,” she said.

“Oh phooey…” I grunted.

“The company is renting you newlyweds an apartment, since the main reason for your participation is for S-Cube’s publicity as well,” hyung added.

“You’re too kind,” I said and put on the most fake smile I could muster just to illustrate my point.

“Can I be a guest?” Skye asked. “Invite me for your housewarming party.”

“Well, don’t invite me,” nuna said. “I don’t wanna have to buy you a present.”

“Oh… the only way I’m going to do this is if I can drag the both of you with me every step of the way.”

“People would kill for a part on this show,” Skye said.

“Sure… imagine how Hae Rin would kill you if you got paired with someone other than her.”

“Well, we’d just have to reveal our relationship then,” Skye said.

“You idiot. You’ll do the show and keep your relationship under wraps,” hyung said and smacked Skye on the back of his head.

“Oww… I’m not going on the show, am I?” Skye said.

“If you were,” hyung stressed.

“Fine…” Skye grumbled, crossing his arms indignantly.

“This is not going to be a happy time in my career,” I sighed.

“Hey… you might actually meet your true love,” nuna said.

“Oh sure… someone I hardly know… she could be my true love. Okay…” I said.

“At least they didn’t pair you with some psycho girl,” Skye said.

“Like your Yuk Hee?” I asked.

“Hey…” Skye said, pointing a warning finger at me.

“What?”

“Hey…” he repeated.

“You’re starting to sound demented, cut it out,” I said.

“I think it’s more like those seagulls in Finding Nemo,” nuna laughed.

“Hey…” Skye said and wiggled his eyebrows this time.

“Keumanhae…” I said, and tossed a pillow at Skye.

“Hey, hey, hey…” he continued, and bounded out of the room.

“You need to make sure he takes his meds,” I said to nuna.

“I’m on it,” she smiled, and went after Skye.

“I don’t want any mess-ups from you, Shoei,” hyung said to me. “Those two already have me on the line. Sierra’s put me on the line a few times now, and that monkey is just an explosion waiting to happen.”

“Ne.”

“It’s not that I am against you kids having a life,” he continued. “I just want us all to be able to keep our jobs at the end of the day.”

“I understand,” I replied.

“You’re the one who has given me the least problems so far. I’d appreciate it if you kept it that way,” he said.

“I will,” I said.

“Good,” he said. “Let’s go.”

I meant every word I said to hyung. I’d almost forgotten my role here; to keep the band together. Nuna had already been sucked into it long ago. Skye is just being Skye, like he had been since we started training together. I had to exercise a little control and sacrifice on my part if we were going to keep moving down this road.

Sure… nuna and Jae Joong hyung had hit smooth road for now, but who knows when there will be trouble in paradise again, since it was as if nuna’s fate courted trouble periodically. As for Skye, hyung was also right. He was a bomb waiting to explode. His secret with Hae Rin will not be a secret for long; unless I’ve underestimated both their abilities to control themselves.

I walked out of the room and joined the rest of them.

“What’s for dinner?” nuna asked.

“Not jjajjangmyun,” hyung said.

“Ramyun?” Skye said.

“No, no, no…” nuna shook her head.

“Let’s have a proper meal,” hyung said.

“Your treat?” Skye asked, gleefully.

“Fine…” hyung grunted.

“Wooo!!!” Skye cheered. “Kalbi… kalbi… samgyupsal…” he chanted as we walked to the car.

“Only if you’ll shut up,” hyung added, and Skye immediately mimed zipping up his lips.

[Nakata’s POV]

She brought me to restaurant her friend owned. Apparently, they had a native Italian chef and served authentic Italian cuisine.

“You sure know how to pick the expensive places,” I said.

“I’m kind enough to pick my friend’s restaurant,” she said.

“So you can earn a profit off what I pay tonight? Does he give out commissions to friends who bring their boyfriends here to get conned?”

“Don’t be silly,” she laughed. “At best, I get a free meal the next time I come.”

“Ah… keurae… that’s alright then,” I smiled.

“Yuk Hee!” her friend, greeted her with a big hug and kissed her cheeks.

“Tae Ik oppa,” she said, sweetly.

“This is?” he asked, not taking his arm off her shoulders as he turned to me, as if they were a couple receiving me.

“Nakata,” she said. “Shouldn’t you know him?”

“Ah yes… Helix, right?” he smiled, as if expecting a cookie for guessing it right.

“Ne,” I smiled as graciously as I could.

“This way please,” he said, finally taking his hands off her and leading us in.

“You two seem close,” I whispered in her ear as I put a possessive arm around her waist.

“Oh… we go way back,” she smiled, and it was then I realized, she had brought me here on purpose.

“I see…” I replied. “I hope I’m not in the way of your reconciliation.”

“Don’t be silly,” she laughed. “Tae Ik oppa is married.”

I kept smiling as we sat down, and I hoped that she barely noticed when I breathed a sigh of relief.

Chapter 139: 너 사랑 안에 (In Your Love)

2008-07-16T15:56:00.003+08:00

“Nakata,” Yuk Hee cooed. “Where are you taking me?”

“Not long, now…” I said.

“At least give me a clue,” she said.

“You’re too smart. If I gave you a clue, you’d guess it for sure.”

“Ha… ha…” she laughed sarcastically.

“Ah… the laugh of an angel,” I said mockingly, and she reached out to tug my earlobe.

I turned on the stereo and selected a Helix CD.

“Are you trying to convert me?” she asked.

“No,” I said. “I’m trying to practice.”

My part came on, and I started singing.

“ You waited around, but you never meant it
You said now you’ve found me, and you’ll never let me go
You cried as I was leaving, and you held on to me
So why are you the one who’s leaving ”

“Somehow, I feel like you’re directing this to me,” she laughed.

“This song was written long before I met you,” I said.

“I know that. I’m talking about the emotions you have in your voice,” she said.

“I’m just being serious when I practice,” I grinned.

“Sure you are…” she smirked, “ever the professional.”

[Yuk Hee’s POV]

We soon arrived at the destination, and I was a little baffled that he had chosen such a place.

“Myowa…” I exclaimed as he pulled into the parking lot.

“I just thought we’d have a little fun… violent fun,” he winked.

We were at a paintball park.

“Shiro… I’m not gonna become your shooting target,” I said as I crossed my arms.

“Aww… come on,” he said, as he reached over and unbuckled my seatbelt for me. “I’ll go easy on you.”

“I don’t wanna get bruised all over. I still have episodes to shoot tomorrow.”

“I’ll only hit you on the vest. Okay?”

“Are you sure you have such good aim?” I said, still not budging.

“Yes… I’m a trained shooter,” he laughed.

“All the better for you to hit me,” I squirmed against the car door behind my back.

“Come on…” he coaxed, and he reached out to pull me towards him and I tried to shove myself away by putting my hands on his chest. “I’ll buy you dinner. Just play with me, okay?”

“Andwae…” I whined.

“I promise,” he said, tightening his arms around my waist.

I stopped for a moment, and looked at his face. He seemed really earnest, and I realized that I was beginning to have a soft spot for him.

“1 round,” I conceded.

“3 rounds,” he said.

“1,” I insisted.

“Fine… 2,” he said.

“2? Then dinner’s going to cost you,” I smiled.

“I don’t mind,” he smiled back, and kissed me on the tip of my nose.

“Let’s go,” I said and tried to move away, but realized that he still had his arms tightly around my waist.

“In a minute,” he whispered, and he kissed me on the lips.

Sometime later, we finally emerged from the car, looking a little disheveled. We walked casually towards the counter where he paid and collected all the gear. We distributed the vests and guns, and I made a quick trip to the washroom to make sure my hair didn’t resemble a rat’s nest.

“Chunbihae?” he asked me when I walked out from the washroom.

“Ne,” I smiled as I pulled down my goggles. “Let’s go.”

As I had anticipated, the moment the staff shut the fence, Nakata shot me in the back. I whirled around and fired blindly at him, almost shooting him in the face.

“Yah… don’t kill me,” he yelled.

“You don’t shoot people in the back,” I yelled back, and shot him on the leg before running for cover.

I was gasping for breath as I crawled behind the barriers, hiding from him. I was a little surprised that I’d managed to shoot him on the leg. I thought that I’d miss.

“Come out, baby… you know you can’t hide from me,” he teased as he searched for me.

I lifted my head up a little to see where he was.

“Oi!” he yelled from behind me and before I could jump out of the way, I felt the pellet hit me on my butt.

“Yah!” I exclaimed as I turned around to glare at him.

He stuck his tongue out at me and ran off to hide.

“Run, you sissy,” I yelled.

I was on fire now, and yet, having the time of my life. It’s been a long time since I’d let loose like this. Trust him to know how to push my buttons.

“Come on, Jin Yuk Hee,” he popped up from behind a crate and yelled. “You’re too slow for me.”

I gave a war cry, and ran towards him. Today… I’ll just give in to the moment.

[Sierra’s POV]

We were working on the title song of our next album ‘I’ll Never Fall In Love Again’, which will be released as a digital single. There were so many versions of this song, but since we liked, the Scottish band, Deacon Blue’s 1990 version the best, and also because theirs had a female part in it, it was the most suitable for us.

Shoei: What do you get when you fall in love
A girl with a pin to burst your bubble
That’s what you get for all your trouble
I'll never fall in love again

Skye: What do you get when you kiss a girl
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia
After you do she'll never phone you
I'll never fall in love again

Sierra: Don't tell me what it’s all about
Cause I've been there and I'm glad I'm out
Out of the chains, the chains that bind you
That is why I'm here to remind you, ooh…

Shoei: What do you get when you fall in love
Skye: Nothing but pain, lies and sorrow
Shoei: So for at least until tomorrow
Skye: I'll never fall in love again
Sierra: Mmm…
Shoei: I’ll never fall in love again

Sierra: What do you get when you fall in love
What do you get when you fall in love
Shoei: I'll never fall in love
Sierra: What do you get when you fall in love
Skye: I'll never fall in love
Sierra: What do you get when you fall in love
Shoei: I'll never fall in love
Sierra: What do you get when you fall in love
Skye: I'll never fall in love

Jae Joong left on the latest possible flight that day.

“Take care,” he said as he reached out to stroke my cheek.

“Araso,” I smiled and caught his hand in mine.

We were outside the studios since I had to work late. He’d been sitting in for our recording session the whole day, giving us lots of useful input.

“Work on that pitch,” he said.

“Araso,” I said. “I do better when you’re not here to watch. It’s hard to deliver when your idol is there watching you sing,” I joked.

“I thought that I’d long fallen off that pedestal. I thought I’d become mortal to you already,” he laughed.

“You’re kinda like Hercules to me now; half-man, half-god.”

“What a way to describe me,” he said, and hugged me.

“Aren’t you the hero of TVXQ?” I teased. “Then what difference does it make; Hercules and hero?”

“Okay… that’s enough flattery,” he smiled. “You’re wearing me down with those honey lips.”

“Honey lips, huh,” I winked.

“Honey lips,” he murmured, and pulled me close to kiss me on the lips.

“Kayo…” I whispered when we broke apart. “You’re gonna be late.”

“1 more minute,” he said, and kissed me on the crook of my neck.

I let him hold me for a minute, and then we both reluctantly let go of each other.

“Call me when you’ve arrived in Tokyo,” I said.

“Araso,” he said. “Take care.”

“I will,” I said.

“Saranghae,” he said, pinching my cheek playfully.

“Saranghae,” I replied, pressing his palm to my face.

Another minute flew by.

“I better go before I miss my flight for real,” he laughed softly.

“Mmm…” I nodded. “I’ll go back to the studios now,” I said. “I don’t want to watch you leave.”

“Okay,” he said.

I turned and walked into the building, never once looking back. I knew myself well enough. My tears would start falling if I had to watch his car pull away from the building. As I got into the elevator, my cell phone rang.

I love you. Wait for me.

He wrote his text message in English, thinking that whenever he tried to speak in the language I knew best, he could be sure that the message went straight to my heart. I’ve never told him this, but for a long time now, it didn’t matter what language he spoke to me, as long as it was from him, I would hold it in my heart for always.

“Nuna!” Skye greeted me as I walked back into the studio.

“Kwaench’ana?” Shoei asked me, knowing that I just had a tearful farewell with Jae Joong.

“Kwaench’ana,” I said. “Let’s continue.”

[Nakata’s POV]

I got my 3 rounds. Yuk Hee ended up having so much fun that we stayed at the paintball park a little longer that she had wanted to, initially. The sun was setting, and we were sitting at the small snack area overlooking the park, drinking and cooling off from our workout.

“Paintball wasn’t that bad, was it?” I asked her.

“It’s alright,” she said.

“I didn’t give you any bruises, did I?”

“Not where people could see,” she said, and pointed at her posterior.

“I made sure I hit you where it won’t show,” I winked.

“Thank you so much, darling,” she said in mock sweetness. “You always take such good care of me.”

“Dangyunhajyo…” I laughed, and she smirked.

“So what’s for dinner,” she asked and took a sip of her juice.

“Hmm… I still haven’t thought of it yet,” I said, scratching my head. “What would you like?” I asked me.

“I told you it’s gonna cost you,” she reminded me.

“Ah… that’s no problem. Helix is doing well these days,” I laughed.

“Good to hear,” she said. “Let’s leave then,” she said.

“Where to?” I asked her.

“I’ll drive,” she said, and held out her hand for my keys.

“Do you have a license?” I asked her.

“Yes, I do,” she said indignantly.

“Let me see it,” I said.

“No way…” she said.

“Then you can’t drive,” I said.

“Why don’t you trust me?” she asked.

“This is my baby we’re talking about,” I said. “I’ll need some ID before you can take it on the road.”

“Fine,” she said, and she started digging through her purse for her driving license.

When she finally produced it, I tried very hard, but couldn’t hide the look of surprise on my face.

Chapter 138: I'll Be There

2008-06-17T17:55:00.003+08:00

Announcement

Good news! I updated Can't Say... (I Love You) :P Yes, I know... it's long, long overdue...

******

“Nuna, pass the radishes,” Skye said, with his mouth full.

We were eating jjajjangmyun during our break. We had a full day ahead, laying out another track for our new album.

“I don’t get how you people can eat this every day,” Shi Kyung hyung said, shaking his head.

“It’s delicious!” I smiled, my lips smeared with the dark sauce.

“Ne… and it’s good to be young,” he said, “I’m going out to eat.”

He left the room with the sound engineers and left us 3 alone, slurping our noodles.

“What’s wrong with eating the same thing every day?” I asked.

“You’re a bit odd for a girl, nuna. Usually girls would want something different every day,” Shoei said.

“Yea… it’s guys who usually don’t care what they eat every day,” Skye piped in.

“You guys know me. If I like something, I can eat it every day, no problem.”

“And when you’re too lazy to find something else,” Shoei said.

“Plus… we get a discount from this shop,” I reminded them.

“Ne,” the both of them sang.

My phone started singing Tim’s Nan Ottoke.

“Gawd,” Skye grimaced. “You have got to stop using those sappy songs for ringtones.”

“I adore sappy songs,” I cooed and walked out to take the call.

“Na ya…” Jae Joong said. “Odiya?”

“In the studios,” I said.

“Recording?”

“Ne.”

“How are you feeling today?” he asked.

“I’m fine.”

“Choa…” he sighed.

“Waegeurae?” I asked him.

“Nothing… just asking.”

“What are you doing?” I asked him.

“I’m off today,” he said.

“That’s great. Where are the others?” I said as I strolled aimlessly up and down the corridor.

“They’re out,” he said.

“You didn’t go with them?” I asked him.

“Nah… I’ve seen enough of Tokyo,” he said.

“So what are you doing to do?” I asked.

“I’m at the studios,” he said.

“You’re working?” I asked him.

“No,” he said.

Just then, I heard the familiar sound of the elevator announcing the floor.

“I’m visiting,” he said.

I turned around, and there he was, standing 5 feet away from me, in front of the elevator.

He hung up his phone, and so did I.

“Missed me?” he smiled.

“Jae Joong,” I said.

“Sierra,” he said, in the same tone, mimicking me.

I laughed, and ran toward him to hug him.

“Pogoshipo,” he whispered in my ear, and he kissed me.

I hugged him tighter, allowing myself to melt in his arms. The moment I saw him, my heart had lifted, and I felt an overwhelming sense of relief. I’d missed him, but I didn’t know how much until the moment I saw him.

“Have you eaten?” he asked me as he stroked my cheek.

“Eating,” I smiled. “Have you eaten?”

“Ani,” he said. “Paegop’a…”

“Come on,” I said as I took his hand. “I hope the guys left some food for us.”

I opened the door and the 2 of them looked up.

“Guess who’s back,” I smiled.

“Hyung!” Skye exclaimed when Jae Joong walked in from behind me.

“Hey,” Jae Joong smiled. “Left any food for me?”

“You’ll have to share with nuna,” Shoei laughed. “Skye finished all the extras.”

“Ya! Twaeji!” I said and poked Skye on the head. “You didn’t leave any of the side dishes for me?”

“I figured you wouldn’t have time to eat them by the time you finished your phone call,” he smiled sheepishly.

“Twaeso…” Jae Joong said. “Let’s go out.”

“Now?” I said.

“Go on,” Skye said. “An hour or 2 won’t be a problem. We can do out parts first.”

“Ye… We’ll tell hyung. He’ll understand.” Shoei said.

“Are you sure?” I said.

“Kaja…” Jae Joong said as he took my hand and led me out of the room.

“Don’t worry. We’ll take care of hyung,” Skye said and pushed the both of us out of the room.

“Where are we going?” I asked Jae Joong as we walked towards his car.

“Somewhere near and quick; I shouldn’t keep you out for so long.”

“Take out? Hillside?” I suggested.

“Good idea,” he smiled.

20 minutes later, we were parked on the hillside, munching on our takeaway kimbap.

“This is nice,” he said, as he fed me a piece of kimbap with his chopsticks.

“Mmm…” I smiled.

“Have you been eating well?” he said me. “You seem a little thinner.”

“I’ve been eating,” I said. “Could be the stress and the extra workout I’m getting to prepare us for the next album.”

“Just make sure you eat right,” he said. “And make sure you’re not drinking anything cold.”

“Araso…” I said.

Jae Joong found out recently that people with my gastric condition should not be drinking cold drinks. Since then, he had put out the word that I was to be prohibited from drinking soft drinks, iced tea; basically anything below room temperature.

“Is it helping?” he asked.

“Mwo?”

“Not having cold drinks.”

“I feel better than I did,” I said. “Maybe…”

“Good,” he said, and reached out to rub my back affectionately. “I just want you to be well. I hate seeing you sick.”

“Ne…” I said. “I’ll take care of myself. You take care of yourself. You’ve gotten thinner too.”

“I have,” he said, and surveyed his face in the rear mirror.

“I miss your body from when you first debut. All those muscles,” I said in a rapturous tone, and licked my lips deliberately.

“Michoso…” he laughed.

“Chintcha… I was more attracted to you when we first met; when you were a bit more buff. You’ve slimmed down so much, I feel beefier than you these days.”

“Chunky would be the correct word,” he grinned, and I prodded his forehead with my finger.

“Say that again and I’ll kill you,” I said in mock seriousness.

“But I like you chunky…” he said, and patted my thigh affectionately.

“SM doesn’t,” I said.

“Are you dating SM now?” he asked me.

“Yes…” I said happily. “It’s been almost 3 years now. We may get married someday.”

“Michoso…” he said, and prodded my head with his index finger.

“Oww… what was that for?” I said. “Did you want to date me or something? Nan choahae?” I asked, and tried not to laugh.

“Sierra…” he said, and grabbed my shoulders with both hands. “It’s me, Jae Joong. Have you forgotten? Are you alright? Are you sick? Odi ap’a?”

His pained expression was the last straw for me, I couldn’t control myself anymore, and I burst out laughing.

“Oh no…” he continued. “You must be really sick. My poor Sierra…” he said, and pulled me towards him for a hug.

“Keumanhae…” I laughed as he stroked my hair, then I could feel his body shaking with laughter too.

We pulled apart, still laughing. I was in stitches and had my arms wrapped around my stomach, which was cramping from all the laughing. Jae Joong had one hand over his stomach and another over his mouth, trying to stifle his laughter.

“Michoso...” I said, and pushed him on the arm as my laughter subsided.

“You started it,” he smiled. “Nawa...” he said, beckoning me into his arms.

I moved forwards and wrapped my arms around his waist, leaning my head against his stomach.

“It’s been a long time since we’ve been happy like this,” he sighed.

“Mmm…” I answered, and hugged him tighter.

“Missed me?”

“Mmm… pogoshipo…” I murmured.

“Should I come back?” he asked.

“Ne?” I exclaimed, and sat up.

“Should I cut short my work in Japan and come back to be with you?”

“What would your band do without you?”

“I’ll fly back when we have group activities. For now, it’s mostly individual activities.”

“Are you sure the management will be okay with this?”

“If they don’t? You’re willing to have us separated and pining for each other?” he asked. “It’s tiring for me to just pop back like this. If I had more of a fixed schedule back here, I could spend more days here instead of having to fly back on the same day.”

“Arayo… but…”

“Just tell me, Sierra,” he said. “Do you want to see me more often, or not?”

“I want to…”

“Then it’s done. I’ll speak to my manager when I get back to Tokyo.”

“And you’re sure you want to do this?”

“Yes,” he replied.

I searched his face for any sign of uncertainty, and there were none. He was adamant that we spent more time together, and I could only be happy that he is making the effort.

“Saranghae…” I said, and reached out to stroke his cheek.

“Saranghae,” he said, turning to face me. “I want this to work out. I want us to work out. I don’t want us to fall apart…”

“I know…”

“You’re the most constant thing in my life for the past few years, after the band and my family.”

“So are you to me,” I said.

“I sound greedy, but I want to have it all. I want the career, the popularity, and I want a personal life.”

“We have it all,” I said.

“Do we? Sometimes I’m so afraid that everything is just going to slip through my hands.”

“That’s not going to happen,” I said softly. “Not while we have each other.”

“And that is why I will do everything to keep us together,” he said. “So don’t give up, okay?”

He looked at me with his beautiful, pleading eyes. Who would be able to refuse him? He has been more to me than anyone else for the past few years. If it were not for him, would I still be sane and able to carry on with this crazy, surreal life I was leading?

“Araso…” I said, and I hugged him again.

I could only hope that him doing this would not cause problems with the band and the management. I didn't the whole world to resent me for taking Jae Joong away from them.

[Nakata’s POV]

I was waiting outside the studios; waiting for Yuk Hee to get off work. It’s our 3rd date since that night at her apartment. Everything seems to be going well, but you never know… women.

I waited for almost an hour before she showed up. I knew she had made me wait on purpose, since I’d seen her co-stars walk out earlier. Darren had also walked past earlier, and all he did was smile knowingly and pat me on the shoulder before walking off.

“Mian,” she smiled sweetly when she saw me. “Did I keep you waiting?”

“No… I was a little late myself,” I lied. If she wanted to play, I’ll play along.

“Great,” she said, and linked her arm with mine. “Where are we going?”

“You’ll see when we get there,” I said, and we walked towards my car.

Chapter 137: 닮아가기 (Becoming Similar)

2008-06-04T13:50:00.003+08:00

{Girls On Top: Episode 7, Scene 5}

“So… who was that earlier?” Si Won asked Maya.

“Just a guy,” she said as she fiddled with the straw in her cup of drink.

“Just a guy?” he laughed affectionately. “Are you always going to be like this in front of me?”

“Like what?” she asked.

“A lousy liar,” he smiled, and he put an arm around her and pulled her towards him.

Maya didn’t resist, and she lay her head on his shoulder.

“I just met him,” she sighed.

“Where?”

“In Singapore,” she said.

“Oh, right… that vacation where I was supposed to meet you.”

“Duh… if you had, I wouldn’t have met him.”

“Mianhae… my fault,” he murmured into her hair. “So what gives?”

“I don’t know. What do you want me to do? Tell him you’re back and he should go?”

“Why don’t you do that?” he said.

Maya looked up at Si Won and realized he wasn’t smiling. He looked dead serious.

“You can’t ask me to do that,” she gasped. “Si Won…”

“Maya… I…” he sighed.

“What, Si Won?”

“Nothing…” he sighed.

“Tell me,” she urged him. “You know I hate being kept on a line.”

“You know…” Si Won said as he reached out to touch Maya’s hair, “Being away for so long has made me realize something.”

“What?”

“How much I need you by my side, Maya,” he said.

“Si Won… I can’t…”

“Just… don’t give me your answer now,” he said.

“But… Ho Young,” she said.

“I don’t know Ho Young… I don’t care about Ho Young… I only have Maya on my mind.”

“Si Won,” she called out his name, the confusion obvious in her voice. “You said we weren’t compatible.”

“I was an idiot… You’re my only match,” he said, and he pulled her close to kiss her.

(Music plays: Hae Rin - This Last Night)

Have you heard, have you seen
The way my heart’s been ripped right out of me
Do you know, what I’d do
When I’ve fallen from grace in front of you

How you’ve been,
Have you been waiting up for me
Or have you learned that this heart
This heart’s been torn to pieces, by you

This heart beats for you
This soul lives for you
Won’t you hold me, and keep me alive
Just this one last time

My blood runs for you
Our memories will never fade
So for old times’ sake
Hold me
Just for this last night

{End of scene}

[Shoei’s POV]

Skye and I heard nuna scream, and we immediately rushed to the bathroom.

“Don’t tell me it’s that darned roach again,” Skye said.

“Nuna… are you okay?” I said as I knocked on the bathroom door.

“I’m fine,” came her muffled voice.

“Are you sure?” Skye asked. “Your voice sounds weird.”

“Yea,” she said. “I’ll be out soon.”

Skye and I went back to watching the television. 15 minutes later, nuna rushed out of the bathroom, into her room and slammed the door shut.

“Is it just me, or is she being extremely weird today?” Skye asked me.

“I’ll go talk to her,” I said, and I got up and walked to her room.

I knocked softly on her door, and she opened it almost immediately.

“Are you alright?” I asked her.

“I need to tell you something,” she said.

She looked confused. It was as if she didn’t know whether to be happy or sad. I was worried.

“What happened in the bathroom?” I asked her.

“Sit down,” she said, and she closed the door.

“What’s going on?” I asked her.

“I’m not pregnant,” she announced.

“You’re not?” I blinked.

“No.”

“How do you know? Did the clinic call?”

“No…”

“Then how?”

“My period…” she said.

“It came?”

“Yea… apparently it decided to come… better late than never,” she said, and made a face.

“So how are you going to tell Jae Joong hyung?”

“I dunno. I just cannot imagine how he’d feel.”

“Well… my guess would be ‘very disappointed’ since I have a feeling that he had begun to make wedding plans,” I said.

“Stop that,” she said.

“What?” I said innocently.

“It’s not funny,” she said, her eyes downcast.

“I know you dread telling him, but you need to tell him. The sooner the better… now would be good.”

“Now?” she exclaimed. “I’ve barely come to terms with the fact myself. How do you think I would be able to tell him?”

“Well… the truth would be enough. He can’t blame you for this. It’s not like you miscarried the child,” I reasoned.

“It’s just… he was so hopeful,” she said.

“But you weren’t. You were hoping there wasn’t a child.”

“I know…” she sighed.

“Just get it over with,” I said, as I picked up her phone and handed it to her.

She stared at the phone in my hand for the longest time. I could see the clockwork spinning in her head. She was thinking how she would tell him, how she could soften the blow, running all the different scenarios of what he might say.

“Don’t over think,” I said softly. “You’re only going to get yourself sick.”

Everyone believed that Sierra was a strong, upbeat and carefree girl, but the truth was that Sierra always had so much going on in her mind. The times she’d collapsed or gotten sick were all due to stress, due to worrying. She looked indestructible, but many a time, she had been at the brink of falling apart into little pieces; trying to do everything and think of everything at once. Maybe she was greedy, just like the rest of us. We try to grab as much as we could, to make 101% use of our youth and fame before it waned, and in that process, we sacrificed the very things we were so afraid of losing.

“Just give me a minute,” she said; her voice hoarse. “I’ll call him.”

“You’re sure?” I said.

“I will,” she said as she looked up at me; her expression earnest.

“Araso,” I said softly as I placed the phone on the bed, in front of her. “I’ll be outside if you need me.”

“Thanks,” she smiled weakly. “And you’d better tell Skye before he accuses us of leaving him out again.”

“Sure… What are brothers for?” I said, and I left the room.

[Sierra’s POV]

Think… think… think… I was going crazy. I really didn’t know how I would tell Jae Joong. Do I just blurt it out? How would he take it? Would he accuse me for toying with his feelings? Then again, he should know I wasn’t since I didn’t want a child anyway. Why would I use the possibility of a pregnancy to put pressure on him?

My hand reached out to clasp my phone. I traced the smooth surface with my thumb, and came upon a bump on it. I looked down to see the tiny photo sticker of Jae Joong and me.

“Ottoke?” I said to photo as my finger touched his face. “Would you misunderstand?”

I took a deep breath, flipped my phone open and dialed Jae Joong’s Japanese number.

“Yoboseyo?” he said after 2 rings.

I was silent for a moment.

“Sierra?” he said my name, and the tears started to well up in my eyes.

“Jae… Jae Joong,” I sniffed.

“What is it?” he asked me in his gentle tone.

“I’m not pregnant,” I said.

“The results’ out?” he asked.

“No…” I said. “My period came.”

“Really?” he said.

“You want a blood sample?”

“That’s not funny,” he said.

“I’m not trying to be funny,” I said, now close to tears.

“So…”

“What do you want to do now?” I said, as a single tear rolled down my cheek.

“What can I do?” he said.

“You wanted this child so much,” I said.

“If you did have one, but now you don’t. I can’t do anything about that.”

“I thought you would be upset.”

“I’m a little disappointed, but I’ll get over it,” he said. “I was hoping for the baby to be an excuse for us to finally get married,” he laughed softly.

“We don’t have to get married just for the baby’s sake. Lots of celebrities remain unmarried even after they’ve had children,” I said.

“This is Korea… they eventually get married, even if it may end in divorce later,” he pointed out.

“So you’re not upset?” I asked again.

“No… were you hoping for me to blow my top or something?” he asked.

“I was just expecting a little drama from you,” I admitted.

“I’m not stupid, Sierra. To be honest, I feel a little relieved that you’re not pregnant. As much as I want us to be together, I don’t think we’re ready to have children yet.”

“Thank god,” I laughed and sniffed loudly.

I hadn’t cried, but the little bit of tears and emotions had caused my nose to block up.

“Are you crying?” he asked me.

“No I’m not,” I said.

“But your voice sounds funny,” he said.

“I just got a bit emotional. My nose is blocked,” I said.

“Pabo…” he said. “Uljima…”

“I’m not crying…” I protested.

“Alright… you’re not,” he laughed. “Now what was that ‘Thank god!’ for?”

“Nothing… I was thinking you’d do anything just to get us tied together,” I said.

“Ya, ya, ya… are you suggesting that I’m some obsessive boyfriend?” he said.

“Well, you are… sometimes,” I joked.

“You just wait till I get home,” he said.

Somehow, after this whole ordeal, hearing that did not make me feel nervous. I actually looked forward to Jae Joong coming back. This whole “maybe-baby” thing cleared up some of the misunderstandings we’ve not voiced out all this while. I feel closer to Jae Joong now, and I feel that our relationship had a long shot.

“Araso…” I laughed. “I’ll be waiting.”

“Sierra… I gotta go,” he said. “I’m in the middle of a photoshoot.”

“Call me later?” I said.

“Definitely,” he replied.

“I miss you,” I said.

“Na tto pogoshipo…” he replied and we hung up.

It occurred to me then that perhaps Jae Joong and I had been together for too long. We’d forgotten what it was like to date, to enjoy being young and in love, since we’d fallen into this routine. I realized that we’d also started forming perceptions, despite knowing every single detail that we needed to know about each other. Could we still be together simply out of habit, or are we still that crazy about each other?

Chapter 136: 괜찮아요 (Gonna Be Alright)

2008-05-21T00:01:00.002+08:00

[Skye’s POV]

I had just had late lunch with Hae Rin, and I had to speed to the studios to pick up nuna. She needed to go somewhere today, but she didn’t say where. As I drove, my thoughts went back to this message I got from Yuk Hee the other day. I’d not seen her since we’d parted ways in Taipei, but I’ve gotten plenty of text messages and emails from her; all of which I’ve ignored because I didn’t want to upset Hae Rin if she found out.

Are we still friends?

She sent me this text message, and I really thought about it. Were we still friends? Knowing that she has some kinda crush on me makes our whole relationship feel awkward. I really don’t want to encourage Yuk Hee, and yet, I didn’t want to hurt her. Then again, in the end, I can only choose 1 course of action. I’m being cruel to be kind… and I can only hope some good will come from it.

“Has she been texting you again?” Hae Rin asked me today, and I forced myself to shake my head.

“Aniyo,” I said. “I guess she’s given up.”

“Good,” Hae Rin said. “I really don’t wanna see anyone hurt, and I don’t want to lose you,” she added, and she gave me a long, meaningful look.

“Pabo,” I said, affectionately, “you won’t lose me.”

“It’s hard to say,” she said. “When you’re dating a celebrity, anything can happen.”

“Are you referring to yourself?” I joked, and she made a face at me.

If I could reply Yuk Hee’s message, this is what I would say…

Yes, we are. If only you’d stop acting so weird.

Yea… I wish I could tell her that, but it would either hurt her, or rile her. So I guess in this situation, silence is golden.

It started pouring as I neared the street leading to the studio’s gates. When I got there, nuna was huddled near the entrance to keep out of the rain. She jumped into the car as fast as she could, and I tossed her the tissue box so that she could dry up before she caught a cold.

“So where are we going?” I asked her, and all she did was silently dab the water off her arms. “Nuna…” I said. “You need to tell me where we’re going. Or we’re just gonna sit here, in the car, forever.”

“I need to see the doctor,” she finally said.

“Okay… but what’s wrong with you?” I asked.

“Nothing. I’m just collecting a report.”

“A report? For what?” I prodded on, and she took the longest time to answer.

“A pregnancy report,” she finally said, and my mouth hung open for at least a minute.

[Sierra’s POV]

I reached out to close Skye’s jaw, and after I’d told him the address of the clinic, we drove off. He was silent for at least half the journey there.

“When did all this happen?” he asked, breaking the silence.

“What do you mean?” I asked him.

“When did you suspect you were pregnant? You must’ve told someone at least, and why didn’t I know about it?” he asked.

As I’d expected, he was a little hurt that he’d been kept in the dark up till now.

“I didn’t intentionally keep it from you. I hadn’t really planned on doing anything about it, until Jae Joong and Yun Ho pushed me into getting tested.”

“So how did Yun Ho hyung know?”

“I was talking to Jae Joong, and I got really upset cos I didn’t know what to do. So he asked me to get Yun Ho to accompany me to the doctor.”

“And… Shoei doesn’t know?”

“Shoei doesn’t know that I’ve decided to go to the doctor.”

“But he knows you’re pregnant…” he whined.

“I’m not pregnant… yet,” I said. “Nothing is confirmed.”

“But he knows about this whole thing,” he repeated.

“It’s not like I didn’t want to tell you,” I said.

“You thought I’d blab. Just admit it,” he complained.

“Don’t get worked up, Skye. I just wanted less people to know. I didn’t want to burden everyone.”

“Why do I always get left out of all the juicy gossip,” he grumbled.

“It’s not gossip, Skye. This is serious,” I sighed.

“Well… duh… I know it is. That’s why I’m so bummed that you guys have kept me out of it.”

“Aigoo… what am I gonna do with you? You’re such a freakin’ ajumma,” I said.

“Ne,” he smiled, then he reached over to pat my hand. “Don’t get worked up. You need to take care of the baby. I forgive you.”

“I’m not pregnant,” I protested.

“Yet…” he reminded me, and I began to feel a headache coming on.

[Shoei’s POV]

“Ye,” I nodded. “I’ll take care of her,” I added. “You have a safe flight.”

I hung up the phone and lay back in my seat. Yun Ho hyung had just called from the airport. He was flying off, and he wanted Skye and me to take care of nuna.

“She’s going to need lots of support if the report is positive. I just hope she doesn’t do anything stupid.”

“I don’t think she will,” I assured him. “She’s not crazy, just highly-strung,” I laughed.

“Well… it could get out of hand, since it’s a big deal for her. Just make sure she calls Jae Joong, whatever the outcome of the report.”

“I will. If she’s too emotional to make the call herself, we’ll be sure to call you.”

“Choa…” he said. “We’ll be waiting for the news; good or bad.”

“Right…”

“Take care of your nuna,” he said.

When nuna first told me about this, I felt sick. Perhaps it still hurts to be reminded of how close she and Jae Joong were, but to know that she may be pregnant with his child was like a kick in the gut. It sort of meant the end of all hopes for me; not that I still had any. Then again, who knows what would become of their relationship in the years to come, but a child would’ve cemented their attachment.

After much pondering, all I care now was that she was well, and if she was pregnant, I would support her still, knowing that she would want to keep the child. Who wouldn’t want to keep the child of Kim Jae Joong? The child would be beautiful.

I wished I had accompanied nuna and Skye to the clinic, but my schedule was a little tight today, so I was stuck where I was. I can only hope that Skye is doing a good job of taking care of her.

Jae Joong hyung must be ecstatic now. He’d been waiting for a chance like this to drag nuna to the altar. If the test report was positive, he’d probably fly back immediately and marry her on the spot. Nuna kept saying it would ruin the both of them, but I doubt it. It would probably just end up a big SM family celebration; a TVXQ and S-Cube union. Why nuna didn’t want to marry Jae Joong hyung was beyond me. I’ve always been puzzled with her stand on this whole marriage thing. She’s obviously stuck on him, and yet she doesn’t want to be his wife. Was she still feeling bad for Yun Ho hyung after all this time?

[Sierra’s POV]

We arrived at the clinic, and instead of finally ending my misery, it was prolonged.

“We’re very sorry Sierra-shi,” the nurse said. “There has been a mix-up with your tests. We’re going to need you to provide us with another sample.”

“Chogiyo,” Skye stepped in, “the last time I checked, this was an established medical practice. How can you mix-up someone’s test?”

“I’m sorry, sir. It was an unfortunate mistake. I assure you that this doesn’t happen often.”

“So you need my urine sample again?” I asked the nurse.

“Yes,” she replied and plunked a pee container on the counter.

“You know, nuna,” Skye whispered, “we can go to another clinic. This one’s obviously a quack.”

“I’m okay, Skye. I’ll just give them another tub of pee and wait another day,” I said, and gave him a fake smile.

“Sure…” he laughed. “Go ahead then.”

I picked up the container, sighed, and walked towards the toilet.

[Skye’s POV]

As soon as nuna went into the toilet, I called Jae Joong hyung.

“Skye?” hyung said, as soon as I got through.

“Ne,” I said.

“Are the results out?” he asked me.

“Nope,” I replied. “Nuna would’ve called you herself if it had.”

“Then why are you calling?”

“The results are going to be delayed,” I said.

“Why?”

“The quack clinic screwed-up her test results.”

“How did that happen?” he said in disbelief.

“You’ll need to ask the quack doctor,” I laughed. “No worries,” I said. “It’s just another day.”

“I can’t wait another day,” he said.

“You think we all can?”

“So we wait another day?” hyung asked me.

“Technically, we wait another 2 days since it’s Saturday tomorrow,” I reminded him.

“Damn…” he cursed.

“Yep… damn,” I laughed.

“How’s she taking it?” he asked me.

“She just shrugged and went off to pee in the container again,” I said.

“I can only imagine what’s going on in her head. I wish I could be there.”

“Don’t beat yourself up, hyung,” I consoled him. “You need to be in Japan. You can’t help it.”

Just then, nuna walked out of the toilet.

“Hey, hyung. I’ll catch up with you later. Nuna’s out with her tub of pee.”

“Araso,” he laughed. “Tell her I’ll call her later.”

“Okay,” I said, and hung up.

“Let’s go,” nuna said to me after putting the container on the counter.

“Make sure you don’t lose my nuna’s pee this time,” I said as I wagged a finger at the nurse.

“Yes, sir,” the nurse laughed at me.

I guess she thought I was being funny, even though I’d meant it.

[Sierra’s POV]

We left the clinic with a huge cloud hanging over our heads. All the way home, I could only look out of the window and sigh. Skye knew better than to ask me questions. He knew me long enough to know that even though I’d smiled and taken the test again, I was upset that I had to wait another day to know the truth.

When we got home, Shoei was waiting for us while watching the television.

“So?” he said.

“I had to do the test again,” I grumbled as I sat next to him.

“What?”

“They mixed up my urine sample,” I explained.

“Really?” he said.

“The doctor probably drank it, thinking it was tea,” Skye remarked, then snorted with laughter at his own joke.

Shoei and I just smiled indulgently.

“Or maybe they sold your pee,” Skye offered. “You’re famous… some sicko would buy your pee.”

“You’re crazy, Skye,” I said, and this time, I was smiling. “They’re an established medical practice. They don’t do stuff like that.”

“Fine… I still think they’re quacks,” Skye said.

“It’ll be fine,” Shoei said. “We’ll know soon enough.”

“Yea,” I said.

“I cannot imagine how an established medical practice can screw up a little pregnancy test,” Skye said as he sat on the couch, squashing me between the both of them.

“It’s just one of those unlucky situations,” Shoei said.

“I’m gonna take a shower,” I said, as I sat up.

I didn’t feel like talking about it, and I didn’t want to think about the whole fiasco at the moment.

I picked up my clothes and towel from my room and walked into the bathroom, and just when I thought my world was going to keep crumbling around me, God had answered my prayers…

Your Call...

2008-05-05T00:24:00.003+08:00

I've been having a bit of a dilemma, deciding Sierra's fate; pregnant or not... So I've decided that since I've not been involving my readers for a long time, it's time you guys said something about what happens to your beloved leading lady. Here are a few of my concerns that you may want to take note before you vote:

1. If she's pregnant, chances are she'll be stuck with Jae Joong. No more possibilities with Yun Ho, Shoei, or whatever yummy male who comes along T_T

2. No chance for large scale scandals or love triangles anymore. If Sierra is to be a mother and wife, she's gonna be a good mother and wife... and that just kills the continuity of the story.

3. It may impact her career and she may need to quit. End of dream.

It sounds like I'm forcing everyone to pick "not pregnant", but of course, if you do want her to be pregnant for awhile just to see what I can do with it... I will make sure I give you some entertainment out of it while it lasts. Hehe! Anyways... so here are the choices:

1. Pregnant
2. Not pregnant

Please vote in the comments section of this post by indicating your choice and reason when you vote. Voting ends on Wednesday, 14 May, GMT +08:00.

Not Again...

2008-05-05T00:16:00.002+08:00

I've been plagiarized again...

http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/sierraskyeshoei/

I don't know whether I should be proud that someone bothered to plagiarize my work, yet again. Or upset that Winglin is so slack when it comes to monitoring their site. They managed to stringently monitor and inform me that the photo I used for my fic on Winglin was stolen ( Sorry! ^_^ ), but didn't manage to catch all these plagiarizers. This time, this person is blatantly plagiarizing by using my name... T_T Thank you, jishin, for reporting this to me.

I've made a report on Winglin, since the forum is working this time...

http://forum.winglin.net/index.php?topic=119.msg87026#msg87026

Those of you who feel like saying something... please do. I just hope this doesn't happen again... it's really unpleasant to find out that your work has been stolen :(