Bravery

Bravery doesn’t always have to do with facing a fear head-on. I learnt today that bravery can be simply choosing to not succumb to the negative. While you may wonder, “Isn’t that facing your fears?” Well, I call it ‘Choosing to be positive’. Yea… it’s obviously nothing new. Countless self-help articles and memes have told us before…

Everyone has a choice; to be happy or to be sad.

But often, it’s not as simple as picking a box, or a coloured ball out of a bag and have it say ‘Happy’ or ‘Positive’. It’s truly a conscious effort to make the decision to be happy and positive. And what about this process that relates to bravery is that when you make the choice, you consciously decide to accept whatever that comes your way with this choice. You may have chosen a path which you presumed to lead to you happiness, but that doesn’t mean the happiness is guaranteed. You have only made the choice using the knowledge you have that it is the most positive thing you could do at the moment. What comes after may or may not be happy or positive, and the bravery in this is knowing that no matter what the outcome, you will need to be ready to once again be positive about it.

Some people stand back and wait because they are afraid that their actions will cause a chain-effect. Other rush in headlong, not caring what comes, only to be met with the aftermath of not having thought through their actions. Being brave has nothing to do with blind confidence. It entails astute consideration of the consequence of your actions as far as you can see. What you cannot see, after trying your best to cover all possibilities, can be left to fate or the higher beings.

I have always been afraid of changes and the unknown. Because of this, I cling to the familiar, and I would admit that it sometimes results in suffocating people whom I love and ultimately depend on. I know it’s unhealthy to do so; for me and for my loved ones, but I was just too afraid. Paralysed with fear, if you will; that I hang on to familiarity and routine because they comfort me, knowing that I have something to look forward to. But I’m not always like that.

Every once in awhile, I would find a breakthrough, which I will pursue, and I will come to so stage where I become self-sufficient and independent again. Meeting a family friend today has brought me to that path again. I’ve been facing a lot of challenges and changes lately, and have been going around worried and bewildered when I thought of what the future would hold for me. Today, for the first time in the recent months, I have found a sense of peace and positivity when thinking of the road I am about to travel on. I somehow feel that this is the right way to go, and I am positive that it’s going to turn out alright. Though I may not trust myself very much, having guidance and words of assurance from an elder just helps assure you. So today, I’ve decided I will simply keep walking.

I see a path, and I know my best bet now is to keep walking and not worry about what comes. Not just when it comes to my career, but in life too. Even if things are turning out the exact way I wanted them to, it won’t always be a bad thing. I just need to see the positive in it; and this is a repetitive process, not a one-off attempt. Furthermore, I was assured today that there is nothing wrong with my fears, and that my willingness to recognise my fears is already progress on my part. I just now need to learn to not let them consume me; and as I have said in the beginning, finding the strength to continuously change negative thoughts into positive ones is nothing short of a brave attempt to not succumb to a vicious cycle of self-condemnation and unhappiness.

One of the parting messages I received today, was on the Laws of Attraction. I was reminded that the more you thought of something, the more you invite it into your life. So if there’s one thing I’d like to do now, is to invite more happiness and positive events into my life... and it starts today!

Slow in the Mornings

I’ve had this problem for years, and I’ve always concluded that I wasn’t a ‘morning person’. But there was one thing I have begun to notice in recent times. The earlier I got up, the easier it was to just ‘get up and go’. The longer I lay there on the bed, snoozing, or the later the hour I had to actually wake up, it gets harder to actually open my eyes and get off my comfy bed.

I don’t know if you have the same symptoms. Heavy head, aching body or perhaps some regular ailment you’ve always had; in my case, acid reflux. These things give us reasons, or perhaps if you want to be a little more forthright, excuses to just lie back, and keep snoozing. Another 5 minutes, another 10 minutes, another 15 minutes, and you realise you’re late :) I’ve always envied people who could just sit up and get off the bed the moment their alarm clock sounded, but I realised, it wasn’t that these people didn’t feel tired or aching, they’ve just made it a good habit to ‘get up and go’.

Yes… it’s a habit; one that we all need to form in slow succession. It doesn’t come naturally like breathing or needing a drink of water. We need to actually train ourselves to stop being… lazy. Haha! So what have I been doing to cure myself of this?

First thing I needed to resolve was my acid reflux problem. Somehow, this problem requires a mind over matter approach, and also some actions. Every night, I tell myself that I don’t have a problem, and I’m going to wake up feeling good. After 2-3 nights, lo and behold, it seemed to have worked. Second thing was actually a tip from my colleague… coffee in the morning is too acidic for my stomach. To be honest, I have been too addicted to coffee to stop having coffee with my breakfast, but after being reminded by my colleague, I decided it’s time to take better care of myself. I can still have coffee, just not in the mornings. So guess what? Acid reflux is now pretty much gone. So what is it that I have learnt? My problem was a result of a habit that I had refused to eliminate. Now that the habit was gone, the problem was diminishing. One down!

Alright! Next comes the problem with aching body or heavy head, probably from restless sleep or perhaps a strenuous workout from the day before? The second would be a pretty valid reason, but the first one, well, is an excuse. Yes, I will call it as it is now, even if I do experience it myself. It’s an excuse. I have learned that the moment you roll off that bed and get moving, the heavy head is going to lighten, and all those aches will eventually be forgotten.

One way I tried to motivate myself was:
‘If I woke up earlier, I could get ready leisurely.’

I don’t even have to look at the clock and just went about my routine and I would walk out of my home on time, unhurried, and not forget anything. So these days, I allow myself a small snooze still, but I would wake up, stick my mobile phone in the handbag (so I wouldn’t forget it when I left home), and start to get ready, without bothering to watch the time. Because I knew that if I had woken up on time, I would have ample time to get ready at a comfortable pace :) This has resulted in a very enjoyable process of getting ready for work.

Of course, if you want to work further backwards, you’d also have to make sure you go to bed on time and etc. But that’s another habit we shall examine at a later time.

Learning to be a ‘morning person’ is pretty much like making the effort to start working out for the first time or making the effort to learn a new skill. The first step matters a lot and every day after, you try again and again until you finally get comfortable with it. And when you do, you will find yourself bounding onto your feet in the mornings, even on a weekend! :P Yep... it will affect you so profoundly that you would even lose the urge to sleep in on weekends. Haha!

So, the truth is, we could really all not be a ‘morning person’, but we can all definitely learn to begin our day with more commitment and less laziness. In his article, The First 10 Minutes, Dr. Paul Osteen said that behavioural scientists have discovered that the first ten minutes of each day can set the course of your entire day. So, will you commit yourself to having a good start each morning so that you can start expecting an awesome day ahead? I’ve begun to see the benefits of it, and I am sure you will too! ^_^