After sitting for over an hour at the sushi bar, and drinking almost a gallon of green tea, we decided to take a walk. The airport was pretty busy, and people were pretty much loitering around since the flights were all delayed. We bumped into a few fans, signed a few autographs and took some pictures, and by the 2nd hour, we were in the lounge with the rest of the crew, slouching on the chairs and feeling extremely bored.
“Here,” hyung said as he handed out some files to Skye, Shoei and I. “The plans for your upcoming projects. All of them will commence next week, and probably in the 2nd or 3rd week, you guys will regroup for the launch of the ‘Waiting for You’ single, with Hee Chul.”
“They’re really fast,” I murmured in awe as I flipped through the file. They had the songs, MVs and everything planned out already.
“The management wants to capitalize on the current hype that you guys are attracting. So it has to be fast,” hyung explained.
“So I’ll be back in Tokyo by the end of next week,” Shoei asked.
“Yes. And sometime the week after, the 3 of you will need to attend a web interview, via conferencing; Sierra from Korea, Skye from Taiwan and Shoei from Japan. But if Skye happens to be back in Korea at that time, then Shoei will be the only one calling in from abroad.”
“Sounds fun,” Skye said.
“Omigod!” I squealed. “This is what Yun Ho and I are doing?” I looked at hyung.
“Yea. What’s wrong?”
“I love this song.”
“What song?” Shoei asked.
“‘Ice Box’ by Omarion. We’re going to do a cover, but there will be little changes to the lyrics cos it’s going to be sort of a duet.”
“This is going to be your title track, and more than half of the MV will be of you and Yun Ho dancing.”
“Understandable, since Yun Ho is a great dancer, and for once, I’ll be doing hard core dancing,” I smiled.
“And I honestly cannot imagine Jae Joong doing this song,” Shoei said.
“You’re right. It’s more Yun Ho’s style. Did they change it in the last minute?”
“I think they did,” hyung said.
“At least they had the sense to,” Skye said. “They probably had a ballad in mind.”
“There is still going to be a ballad,” I said, as I scanned through the next few pages. “And also a MV for it?”
“Yes. The MVs might be released in the repackaged versions of the single.”
“Wow… this is shaping up to be a huge project.”
“It is,” hyung said. “This is really put you in the spotlight, and you’d better be ready for it.”
“Haha…” I laughed nervously. “I hope I am.”
We finally arrived at the airport in Seoul after an eternity of waiting. It was already long past midnight, and that meant less crowds. As we walked out of the arrival hall, I noticed a familiar face waiting for us.
“What took you guys so long?” Jae Joong said as he walked towards us.
“The flights were postponed for a bit because of a storm,” Shoei explained, as I was standing there, speechless.
“Sierra?” Jae Joong said as he looked at me, and I continued to stare at him.
“We’re gonna leave first. Why don’t you take her home, hyung?” Shoei said to Jae Joong, and he walked off with Skye and the rest of the crew.
“Sierra,” Jae Joong said, as he reached out to take my hand.
“Don’t touch me,” I said softly, and he didn’t.
“Let’s go,” he said, and started walking towards the car park.
Since everyone had left, and I couldn’t well make a scene in public, I followed him quietly.
“Mianhae,” he said as we drove slowly out of the parking lot.
“Is that all you want to tell me?” I said.
“I’m really sorry. Please forgive me.”
“How many days has it been?” I asked him. “How many days since you walked out and totally ignored me?”
“Cheongmal mianhaeyo,” he said as he took my hand.
“No,” I said as I pulled my hand away fiercely. “You can’t just come back and expect me to forget everything. You think you can jerk me around like that?”
“I wasn’t…” he said.
“What? What weren’t you doing?”
“I just freaked out, okay?” he said.
I suddenly noticed that he wasn’t taking me home.
“Where are you taking me?”
“We’re going to resolve this tonight,” he said.
“You think it’s only going to take one night to resolve this?” I said in my sternest voice.
“Maybe we can’t resolve this tonight, but as long as you’re willing to give me a chance, I’ll make it up to you. You don’t have to forgive me now, and however long it takes, I will prove to you that I will never hurt you again.”
I was silent after his little speech, trying to digest everything he’d said, what he’d just promised me. He was willing to work it out between us, but how long would it last? How long before he allows our insecurities to break us apart again?
We drove up to the hillside where we always came to talk and just spend some time alone. I used to come here with Yun Ho, and now with Jae Joong. So many memories were shared at this same spot, and so much heartache, but here we are again, back where we were, and could we be back as we were?
“Sierra-ya,” Jae Joong whispered as he turned to look at me.
“I’ve had it. I can’t take this anymore. Its bad enough I feel insecure, now you’re insecure too?”
“Why can’t I be?”
“You’re Kim Jae Joong. When do you need to feel insecure? There are hordes of girls waiting for you. You just need to pick.”
“But none of them will love me because I’m Kim Jae Joong from Chungnam. They love be because I’m Yong-ung Jae Joong of TVXQ.”
“I didn’t know you from back then either.”
“But we’re both in the same boat, walking the same path. You know how it feels to live this life, and that is why I believe in your love.”
“Then why do you treat me like that if you believe in my love?”
“I… because Kim Jae Joong from Chungnam isn’t as confident as Yong-ung Jae Joong of TVXQ. I’m not confident of my true self. I’m only confident when I am in my persona with TVXQ.”
I sighed loudly. He was right. As Sierra of S-Cube, I’m confident and sexy, but as Sierra, the 20 something girl from Malaysia, I’m a nervous wreck, and an emotional junkie. I can’t blame him for having the same insecurities as I did. We just had to work it out somehow.
“It still hurts,” I said.
“Arayo… mianhae,” he said.
“This is the last time?” I said as I looked at him, tears started filling my eyes. “I’m so afraid, Jae Joong. I’m afraid that this would happen again, and the next time, there might be nothing left of me when it’s over.”
“Mianhae,” he said as he gathered me into his arms, and I started sobbing from the relief I felt when he held me.
He kissed the top off my head and stroked my back as I cried, all the time whispering that he loved me, asking me to stop crying. I cursed myself for being so weak. Just days ago, I told myself that I wouldn’t take him back, that I will not back down so easily, and within half an hour of his presence, I’d caved in.
“I won’t do it again,” he said. “I believe in you. I believe in us.”
“You say you do,” I sobbed, “but do you mean it? Do you believe it?”
“I will, I will,” he said. “We’ve been through so much and I’ve been such an idiot. I shouldn’t have doubted us.”
“You shouldn’t have,” I said as I pulled away, wiping the tears from my eyes.
“I know. Nan paboya,” he smiled weakly.
“Chintcha pabo,” I said.
“Nae… chintcha pabo,” he laughed. “You forgive me?”
“You asked for a chance, and you said the forgiveness can come later,” I reminded him.
“Yes I did,” he sighed. “I’ll wait for it then.”
“Correction… you will work for it,” I said, pouting.
“Araso, Sierra kongju,” he smiled.
I smiled back. He rarely called me his princess, only when he was trying harder than usual.
“I don’t think you’re a princess at all,” he once told me. “You’re too cool to be a princess.”
I guess he’s right. I don’t feel like a princess either. Princesses don’t need to go through such pain. But sometimes, I do feel like a princess, because he made me believe the fairytale I was living in.
I’d come to the airport to surprise Sierra, at the same time, crossing my fingers and praying that her band mates won’t pummel me for what I did more than a week ago. I hadn’t counted on Jae Joong to come around so soon.
I was walking to the arrival gates, after receiving a tip that their flight had been delayed and they’d just landed, and Jae Joong beat me to it. I guess I’ll need a new plan now, if they’d really reconciled. He really was a wuss. I can’t imagine a guy forgiving his girlfriend for cheating so easily. Then again, she didn’t exactly cheat. I was the one who ‘attacked’ her. I chuckled to myself at the thought of that night. I still can’t get their expressions out of my head.
As the two of them walked towards the parking lot, I observed them. They weren’t holding hands, and that was good news for me. Maybe they’re just keeping up appearances, since a huge breakup could be detrimental to their careers, or at least Sierra’s. Maybe I still have a chance at breaking them up.
I’d received another tip today. Sierra was going to collaborate on a special single with Yun Ho. Coincidence? I think not. I guess it’s just the management’s strategy to generate interest since people would be watching very closely, to see if this collaboration might rekindle something between the two. The media is probably waiting with bated breath for something to happen.
As I walked off, my plans foiled for the days, I felt someone tug at my sleeve.
“Oppa,” a little girl holding a piece of paper and a pen smiled up at me. “Can I have your autograph?”
“Sure,” I smiled and took the paper and pen from her. “What’s your name?”
“Jin Ju,” she replied in her cutesy voice.
“Here you go,” I said as I handed the paper and pen back to her.
“Komawo, oppa,” she smiled and skipped away.
I fished my phone out of my jacket’s pockets and dialed Nakata’s number.
“Where are you guys?” I asked them.
“At home. It’s almost 2am, hyung, where are you?”
“Nowhere special. I’ll be late. See you in the morning,” I said and I hung up.
I didn’t feel like going home tonight, and I knew just where to go.
“Oppa!” she smiled as she opened the door.
“Hey,” I smiled as I walked in and put my arm around her shoulders.
“You haven’t been over in weeks, oppa. Where did you go?” she pouted as we walked into her apartment.
“I’ve been busy. What have you been up to?”
“Training, as usual. I thought that SM’s schedules were tough, but DSP’s even tougher.”
“Sure it is. You’re going to debut in 6 months. They’re gonna work you hard to make sure you make their investment worth,” I said as I ruffled her hair.
“Well, at least after I debut, we can finally have more time together,” she smiled happily.
“Are the other girls asleep?” I asked her.
“Yea… what do you have in mind?” her tone changing from sweet to seductive.
“I don’t know,” I smiled as I ran my hand down her arm.
I loved that she made an extra effort to dress up when I’m coming. That’s why I make it a point to call ahead so that she had time to prepare. Right now, she was wearing a spaghetti strap tank top that bared her midriff, and a pair of shorts that left nothing to the imagination.
“Let’s use the study,” she said as she dragged me towards it.
“You’d better pipe down this time,” I laughed softly as I followed her. “You almost woke the girls the last time.”
“I know,” she giggled. “The next morning, Shin Hae was asking me if I heard a sound the night before. ‘It sounded like someone was moaning…’ she said.”
“Yea… you do moan at lot,” I smiled as I pinched her cheek.
“Yah… appuh,” she whispered as we walked into the dark study and closed the door.
She flipped on the lights and we started moving the chairs out of the way. She opened the cupboard to pull out the spare futon.
“We don’t need that,” I said as I pulled her away from the cupboard.
“The floor’s hard,” she said.
“I’ll be your mattress,” I smiled, and I reached out to turn out the lights.
“Oppa, where are you?” she giggled.
“Come here,” I said as I pulled her tightly against me, and I kissed her, hard.
“Oppa,” she gasped between the kisses. “You’re so wild tonight.”
“That’s because you’re so hot,” I whispered.
“I missed you oppa,” she whispered as her hands did exactly what she knew I loved.
“I missed you too, Su Bin,” I replied, closing my eyes to savor the ecstasy she invoked on me.
“Saranghae,” she said, and I just smiled to myself.