Sunday, 28 January 2007

Chapter 55: Dark

[Shoei’s POV]

I heard Bi sonbae yell out nuna’s name; she’d stayed behind to talk to him whilst Skye and I went off to get a drink. I turned around and I saw nuna lying limp in his arms.

“Nuna!” I shouted as I ran towards them.

“Call for an ambulance,” Bi sonbae shouted as he carried her up in his arms.

“What happened?” I asked him as we walked quickly towards the backstage exit.

“I don’t know. We were talking, and she said she thought the lights blacked out, then she just suddenly collapsed.”


“She just collapsed and I caught her before she hit the floor.”

“Shoei, what’s wrong?” Jun Jin hyung came up to me.

“Nuna collapsed. We’re taking her to the hospital. Can you please tell Jae Joong hyung?”

“Okay,” he said as he turned and walked in the other direction.

Luckily, there were ambulances on standby at the auditorium in case there were any mishaps, since there were so many people at this event tonight. We climbed into one of the ambulance and Bi sonbae laid nuna onto the bed in the ambulance.

“What happened?” the guy in the ambulance asked us as another closed the door.

“She just suddenly collapsed,” Bi sonbae explained.

They put the oxygen mask on nuna and started to read her blood pressure and checked her heartbeat. I held her hand and I felt like crying. What was wrong with her? Was she working too hard lately? I hadn’t been watching her enough lately. She must’ve overworked herself again.

About an hour later, I was in the doctor’s office with Bi sonbae, waiting for the doctor to come.

“Don’t worry,” Bi sonbae smiled as he patted my back. “I’m sure your nuna is fine.”

“I hope so,” I sighed.

The doctor finally walked in and sat down.

“Doctor, what’s wrong with her?” I asked.

“I looked at her records, she has a history of gastric?”

“Yes, but she hasn’t complained of any pains recently.”

“Is she on any other medication? Painkillers for injuries, perhaps?” the doctor asked.

“She’s been taking something for her knees. She sprained it a week ago,” I explained.

“There’s the problem then,” the doctor said.

“What do you mean?” Bi sonbae asked.

“She has internal bleeding.”

“Internal bleeding?” I said in disbelief.

“Yes, and the reason she didn’t feel the pain was because of the painkillers she was taking,” the doctor explained. “Another few days, it would’ve been fatal,” he added.

I fell back in my chair and I could feel the blood drain from my face. A few more days and nuna could have lost her life.

“Hey, Shoei, don’t take it so hard on yourself,” Bi sonbae said. “No one knew that something like that could happen.”

“Yes. People are usually unaware that something like that could happen. She needs to pay special attention to the kind of medication she takes from now on.”

“Thank you, doctor.” Bi sonbae answered for me. “Can we see her now?”

“I’ve sedated her for now, but you can go in and see her. She’ll need to stay here for a week or two.”

“Alright, thank you, doctor,” Bi sonbae said and tugged at my sleeve. “Let’s go Shoei.”

Outside the office, we were greeted by Jae Joong hyung and Skye.

“How is she? What happened?” Jae Joong hyung asked as he shook me.

“She’s alright,” Bi sonbae said as he pulled Jae Joong hyung off me.

“Alright? Then why is she in a hospital?”

“I meant that the worse is over. She’s safe now.”

“What happened?” Skye asked.

“She has internal bleeding,” Bi sonbae explained.

“What? Internal bleeding?” Jae Joong hyung exclaimed, and he probably turned as white as I was now.

“She didn’t feel any pain because of the pain killers she was taking recently,” I added.

“Then how is she now? Does she have to stay here?” Skye asked.

“She’s stabilized for now. Another few days and it would’ve been fatal.”

“Fatal?” Jae Joong hyung and Skye exclaimed.

“Let’s not crowd here,” Bi sonbae said as he steered us away. “Let’s go see Sierra.”

On the way to nuna’s room, I turned to Bi sonbae.

“Komawo,” I said.

“For what?” he asked.

“For being there to catch nuna, for coming with me to the hospital,” I said.

“Small matter. It just so happened that I was there,” he smiled.

We walked into nuna’s room and saw her lying there, asleep. She looked pale and it pained me to see the tube connected to her wrist, the oxygen mask on her face. I could’ve lost her.

“Sierra,” Jae Joong hyung whispered as he took her hand and caressed it with his thumb.

“Hyung, where are the rest?” I asked.

“They’ll come after the MKMF. We can’t all just disappear. Bi sonbae’s disappearance had already caused a commotion.”

“Oh, right… I was supposed to perform. Haha!” Bi sonbae laughed.

“But I think the fans sensed that something has happened,” Skye said as he sat down.

“Turn on the television,” I said. “The awards should be on, live.”

We searched for the remote and when we found it, turned it to the channel where the MKMF was being broadcasted live. Helix was performing at the moment.

“Wow… they’re scary,” Skye said.

“Huh?” Bi sonbae looked at Skye, confused.

“I mean they’re scary as competition. Thank god we belong to different genres. I don’t think it’ll be easy with them as direct competitors.”

“I think S-Cube can hold their own against Helix,” Bi sonbae smiled.

“Komawo,” Skye beamed at him.

“Hey! Don’t you need to perform later?” Bi sonbae asked Jae Joong hyung.

“I do. They’ll be fine without me,” Jae Joong hyung replied.

“You should go back there,” I said. “We can’t all get into trouble. Nuna won’t be happy.”

“I guess,” Jae Joong hyung sighed as he stood up. “I’ll be back later.”

“Okay. Don’t worry, we’ll watch over her,” I said as he walked out the door.

We sat there and watched the MKMF on the television. We won the Best Lyrics award. Too bad we weren’t there to accept it. Jun Su went up to accept it on our behalf.

“On behalf of Skye and Shoei, thank you all. Unfortunately, something came up and they can’t be here to accept this award personally. They would’ve wanted to be here, since this is such a huge achievement. Once again, kamsahamnida!” he said as he raised the award up in the air, and the audience cheered.

“Hear that, nuna?” I said as I turned to her. She was still sleeping. “We won Best Lyrics.”

“Stop talking to her as if she’s in a coma,” Skye scolded me. “She’s just sedated.”

“Right…” I laughed at myself for being so solemn.

“Bi sonbae, you don’t need to stay with us, you should go back,” I said.

“It’s alright. I’m playing hooky now. If I go back, I’ll have to work,” he smiled.

“If you say so,” I shrugged.

Half an hour later, it was TVXQ’s turn to perform. As usual, it was a brilliant and elaborate performance. To top it off, they sang live. In the past, SM made them lip-synch for most of the performances and this led to them being heavily criticized. We’re glad that we were allowed to sing live these days. It helped us prove that we could perform live.

“Is it tough being a soloist?” I asked Bi sonbae.

“It is, I guess. I have no band mates to share the burden at each performance,” he said. “But the great part is that I get all the attention from my fans. I don’t need to share it with anyone,” he added with a laugh and Skye and I laughed with him.

“Yea… sometimes I wish this fella here would disappear, and I could have all the attention of the girls to myself,” Skye said.

“Excuse me, aren’t you in a relationship now? I’m so gonna tell your girlfriend,” I threatened Skye.

“Ah… you know I’m joking. Don’t tell Hae Rin,” Skye quickly said.

“Who’s Hae Rin?” Bi sonbae asked.

“His girlfriend,” I replied.

“Is she in SM too?”

“Yea, she’s a trainee. But she’ll debut in another 6 months.”

“Cool,” Bi sonbae smiled. “And who’s your girlfriend?” he asked me.

“My girlfriend? Don’t have one.”

“Shoei worships the ground nuna threads on. And as long as he uses her as a role model to measure all potential girlfriends with, he will remain single for the rest of his life,” Skye laughed.

“You like your nuna?” Bi sonbae asked.

“She’s dating Jae Joong hyung! How can you say that, Skye?” I glared at him. “It’s more like I see her as how a woman that I want to date should be,” I explained to Bi sonbae.

“I see,” he smiled.

“I admire all her qualities, and I hope the girl I date will have them… and more,” I smiled.

“You greedy pig,” Skye remarked.

“Shuddup, Skye,” I said and turned my attention back to the television.

2 hours later, TVXQ, Super Junior and Ri In walked into the room. A nurse followed after them and demanded that at least half of them stayed outside.

“This is not a social gathering. You can’t all crowd in the room. The patient needs to rest,” the nurse nagged.

“Nae…” we replied, and half of the guys from Super Junior and Bi sonbae went out to wait.

“How did this happen?” Yun Ho hyung asked.

“Here we go again,” Skye rolled his eyes and we retold the whole story about the diagnosis.

“God…” Yun Ho hyung said, almost in a whisper. He turned to look at nuna, and I could see the concern in his eyes. Nuna, you’re a very lucky woman. So many people care for you.

“She’ll be fine,” I said as I patted his back.

“I can’t believe that it was so serious. So serious that she could’ve died,” Jae Joong hyung said. He was sitting in the chair right by nuna’s bed, holding her hand.

“Yea. She looked fine. I mean, it’s normal to look tired since we all barely get enough sleep. But who knows under it, there could be such a serious problem,” Chang Min commented.

“This is a lesson to us all. Be careful of the medication that you consume,” Jun Su said.

“Bi sonbae was the one who carried her to the ambulance, I heard,” Yoo Chun said. “How come?”

“She was talking to him when she collapsed,” Skye explained.

“Good thing she was. Had she been just walking or even in the washroom, who’d be there to catch her? She’d have ended up with more injuries,” Hee Chul hyung said.

“Did the fans catch on already?” I asked.

“Some of them caught up with us after the MKMF and asked us where you guys went,” Chang Min said.

“And what did you tell them?” Skye asked.

“I just told them you guys had an emergency.”

“Good,” I said. “I don’t think they should know yet. We’ll need to wait for Shi Kyung hyung’s advice before we make a statement.”

Just then, the nurse popped her head into the room.

“You need to leave. Visiting hours are over,” she said.

“Can one of us stay?” I asked.

“Yes, only one person can stay. Can the rest of you leave now?”

I wanted to be the one to watch over nuna, but Jae Joong hyung would not have it, so I left with the rest of the guys. I guess I will never be the first one she sees when she opens her eyes.

Friday, 26 January 2007

Saeng-il Ch'uk'ahaeyo!

Ok... I'm in Singapore now, JYP auditions tomorrow. I was so bugged about it that I forgot to write my leading man a personal birthday note :P This is a temp post. I'll spiffy it up when I get back to Melaka. I wish me luck, Jae... if this works out, I'll be on my way to Korea to you, for real ;)

I love you, Kim Jae Joong!!! Happy Birthday!!!


As promised, my special birthday message for my man, Jae Joong.

나의 남자... 나의 영웅... 김재중...

The past year has been a year of trials and tears for you. The past year has also seen great achievement from you. Through it all, you stuck with it, you smiled through your tears for us. Through it all, you are still true to yourself. You are still the same 김재중. Please stay the same forevermore, but remember that it's alright to share your pain with us. It's alright you cry in front of us. As I have said in the past, the tears did not make you less of a hero to us, it only brought you closer to us and made you more endearing. We now see you as 김재중 the human as well. No matter what happens, we will love you. Never forget that.

Another year older, are you now wiser? ^^ I just want to say 생일 축하해! May the year ahead be joyful and sucessful for you. 사랑합니다...

Thursday, 25 January 2007

Chapter 54: Proud

The middle of the stage was illuminated gradually and there was a flash of bright lights and an explosion of fireworks. There in the middle of the stage stood Ji Sang Ryul in full regalia. He was dressed like a king, with a crown and a cape and even a scepter, which turned out to be the microphone. We couldn’t help but laugh. ‘We Will Rock You’ started playing, and a group of dancers came out, stomping their dance to the beat of the song. Everyone started clapping and stomping along.

“We will, we will, rock you!” Ji Sang Ryul shouted along with the song, then we could hear a solo guitar playing as everyone continued with the clapping and stomping.

“Buddy you're a boy, make a big noise playin' in the street, gonna be a big man some day” Lee Yeon Hee sang as she descended in open capsule from the top of the stage and everyone cheered. She was dressed in an apple green mini dress and white, knee-high boots. “You got mud on your face, ya big disgrace, kicking your can all over the place,” she sang.

“Everybody!!” Ji Sang Ryul yelled as he flipped off his cape and threw his crown at the audience, and the auditorium sang along, “We will, we will rock you!”

The guys from Super Junior, along with Skye, started to stand up and dance along. At the other row, Helix and SS501 were doing the same. The guys met up in the middle and continued to dance like crazy until the song ended.

“Woo!!” Ji Sang Ryul yelled. “Annyeonghaseyo!!!” and the crowd screamed. “Ye… annyeonghaseyo, Ji Sang Ryul-imnida!” the crowd cheered again.

“Annyeonghaseyo, Lee Yeon Hee-imnida!” Yeon Hee shouted and raised her hand in the air.

“How’s everyone here tonight?” Ji Sang Ryul shouted and the crowd yelled their incoherent response.

“Oppa,” Yeon Hee said, “Ani, sonbae,” she corrected herself.

“Call me oppa, baby,” Ji Sang Ryul said in a deep voice as he wiggled his eyebrows at her.

“Nae, Sang Ryul oppa,” Yeon Hee laughed. “Are you feeling excited tonight?”

“Sure I am,” he laughed. “I have Lee Yeon Hee by my side.”

“Oppa, be serious. Aren’t you excited that there are so many people here tonight?”

“Yes… of course I am.”

“Aren’t you excited that there are so many artistes here tonight?” she asked.

“Yes I am. Are you?” he said as he faced the audience and they let our deafening screams.

“We hope that everyone enjoys the performances we have in store for you tonight. For now, here are our first presenters for tonight, Epik High!”

The first few awards went by quickly and it came to the R&B award. Kang Dong Won and Kim Ha Neul walked out onto the stage and waved.

“Ha Neul-ah,” Dong Won said.

“Nae?” Ha Neul replied.

“I feel very inadequate,” he said as he made a sad face.


“Cos our nominees for the night are all so good looking.”

“It’s just too bad for you,” she laughed. “Read it!”

“Araso…” he laughed. “The nominees for R&B: Fly to the Sky - Maybe, S-Cube - Ghosts, SG Wannabe – This Could Be, See Ya – Love You, Vibe – What You Do,” he announced as the video clips flashed across the screens.

“And the winner is…” Na Heul announced as Dong Won opened the envelope.

Skye, Shoei and I held hands and whispered our prayers.

“Fly to the Sky, Maybe!” Dong Won announced.

We stood up and turned around to hug Hwan Hee and Brian as they walked past. They were the undisputed kings of R&B. Even S-Cube was no match.

“It’ll be your turn next year,” Hwan Hee whispered in my ear when I hugged him.

“We’ll see!” I smiled as I pulled away.

After a performance by Super Junior, it was time for the Digital Popularity Award. The announcers were Kim Sun Ah and Jang Hyuk.

“Jang Hyuk oppa,” Kim Sun Ah said. “Why haven’t you been calling me back?”

“Sun Ah-yah… oppa’s really busy. I just got out from the army and all that. Cut me some slack will ya?”

“Oh… right… your hair looks great by the way,” Kim Sun Ah giggled.

“Are you mocking me?” Jang Hyuk glared at her.

“Animida… can you please read out who the winner is?” she giggled.

“Hmmph!” he huffed and started to open the envelope, then he shoved it at her. “You read.”

“Nae,” she smiled and pulled the card out. “The winner is…” and Jang Hyuk peered over her shoulder at the card.

“S-Cube, Ghosts!” they announced together and everyone cheered.

I was shocked. To the point where I just sat there, staring straight at the stage, where Kim Sun Ah and Jang Hyuk stood and looked at us expectantly.

“Nuna,” Skye shook me. “Let’s go!”

As I stood up, the guys from TVXQ patted my back. Jae Joong walked to the end of the aisle to meet up with me as I reached the end. He pulled me into his arms and hugged me.

“Ch’uk’aheyo!” he said as he released me.

He had to turn me around and steer me towards Shoei who was waiting at the steps leading to the stage. I still felt a little disorientated. Shoei grabbed my hand and pulled me up the stage to walk with him. Skye was already on the stage with the trophy in his hand.

“Kamsahamnida!” he yelled and kissed the trophy amidst the cheering from the audience.

“Our first ever award,” Shoei said. “We’d like to thank Lee Soo Man sonsengnim and SM for putting us on the map in the music industry. To our manager, Ahn Shi Kyung, thank you for being a mother to us,” he laughed.

“Thank you to our stylists and coordinators, who make us look hot all the time. Thanks to Lex, our choreographer. Oh! And to Jun Jin sonbae, thank your for lending us your voice and presence in this song. You made us hotter than we already were,” Skye winked. “Nuna, you wanna say something?”

“I want to thank our parents,” I said. “We know you’re watching us this instant. And to our fans, thank your for being with us through all the trials and tribulations our band has faced. Without you, we will not be S-Cube,” I ended, as tears streamed down my face.

“Nuna, uljima,” Shoei laughed as he dabbed my tears away with his jacket’s sleeve.

“Saranghamnida!” Skye yelled as we walked off the stage.

After receiving our award, it was time for us to go backstage to prepare for our performance. Jun Jin was getting wired as we walked into the area leading to the stage.

“Break a leg!” MC Mong said as he walked past us to get onto the stage. He was supposed to introduce us.

“How do I look?” I asked Shoei. We usually gave each other a once over before we went on stage.

“Great!” he smiled. We walked onto the concealed area on the stage and we could hear MC Mong introducing us.

“The next band has come far from the first day they debut. It has been a long road for them and tonight, they’re shining brighter than ever,” he said. “Especially when the band’s lead by a hot babe,” he added and the crowd screamed in recognition. “Everybody, give it up for S-Cube and Jun Jin!”

The curtain was raised and I was alone, a mid-tempo hip hop groove started playing and I danced. I was without my trenchcoat, wearing only the short, backless qipao. As I started dancing, the crowd cheered. I used most the stage to execute my routine, it was part-sexy, part-tough, lots of booty-shaking and body-waves. Lex oppa had initially planned for S-Cube to dance together. Since Skye had injured his arm, they changed it to a solo performance from me. As the song ended, there was a huge explosion at the front of the stage, and the curtains behind fell to reveal Skye, Shoei and Jun Jin, the intro beats of Ghosts started playing and they walked forward to join me. I picked up the microphone left at the side of the stage for me and Jun Jin oppa rapped the intro.

JunJin: This is Double J, baby, puttin’ it in for S-Cube…
Sierra, baby… do your thing…

Sierra: I turned around as I felt your presence
I was disappointed when I saw, there was no one there
I continued to walk and I heard you whisper
The ghosts of our past are haunting me, haunting me

Skye: I was walking in a crowd when I saw you
Standing right in the middle, as people passed by
I called your name and all at once you disappeared
The ghosts of our past are driving me mad, driving me mad

Shoei: Why can’t I exorcise these thoughts away
They’re driving me to insanity,
Why do they torture me
Sierra: I scream in silence as the ghosts ravage my mind
I wish I can end this torture by ending my life

S-Cube: I wish you didn’t walk away
Without a word, without a care
The memories we shared are suffocating me
Only if you came back, you’d be able to save me

I wish you didn’t walk away
Without a word, without a care
The times we spent together keep reminding me
Only if you came back, you’d be able to save me

JunJin: Yeah~ yeah~ here we go…
The ghosts of our pasts just won’t go away
How much more do I need to beg
For you to come back, to stay
Only you can save my sanity, baby
Only you can cure me
Without you I’d go mad
As I drown in my screams

Shoei: Why can’t I exorcise you from my head
You’re driving me mad, you’re torturing me
Sierra: I scream in silence as your ghosts ravage my mind
Stop haunting me, I beg you, if you’re not coming back
Skye: Just take my life, and end this right now

S-Cube: I wish you didn’t walk away
Without a word, without a care
The memories we shared are suffocating me
Only if you came back, you’d be able to save me

I wish you didn’t walk away
Without a word, without a care
The times we spent together keep reminding me
Only if you came back, you’d be able to save me

JunJin: You heard me, baby…
Come back to me

We stood there in our ending positions, breathing heavily. The crowd cheered like mad as the song ended. We hugged each other and waved to the crowd as we walked off.

Backstage, we ran into Bi (Rain), who was presenting next.

“Great job, guys!” he smiled.

“Omigod!! It’s Bi!!” Skye yelled and shook Bi’s hand excitedly.

“Yes,” he laughed at Skye’s antics, “It’s Bi.”

“Calm down, Skye,” Shoei said as he put an arm around Skye. “Thank you, Bi sonbae,” Shoei said to Bi. “Come on, Skye,” Shoei said as he hauled Skye away.

“I’ll see you back out there,” Jun Jin said to me and he too walked off.

“Thank you, sonbae,” I said to Bi.

“Um… you don’t have to call me sonbae. It makes me feel so old,” he laughed.

“But you are our sonbae and you are older than us.”

“Just call me oppa,” he smiled and as it always is, his eyes narrowed into slits, and it made him look so adorable.

“Haha… okay, oppa,” I smile. “You can call me just Sierra then.”

“Another 2 awards for you, right?” he asked.

“Yes. I’m so nervous.”

“Don’t be,” he said. “You guys have a good shot at winning.”

“Right… when we have so many other huge bands nominated along with us,” I laughed. “By the way, congratulations on winning Best Male,” I said. Just then, a wave of darkness flashed past my eyes. I blinked and looked up. Was there something up with the power?

“Sierra,” Bi said, looking concerned, “Are you alright?”

“Huh? I’m fine. Did you notice? The lights went out for a moment.”

“Lights? No. No lights went out,” he said, looking puzzled. And that exact moment, I saw the wave of darkness again, and this time I felt weak. My knees buckled under me, and Bi caught me just as I was falling to the floor.

“Sierra!” he called out and that was the last thing I heard.

Sunday, 21 January 2007

Chapter 53: Condition of My Heart

“Mwo?” Min Woo said.

“I said, stop flirting with her,” Jun Jin repeated as he came to stand in front of the both of us.

“Waegeurae? I’m just joking with her. Sierra knows I’m just playing, don’t you Sierra?” Min Woo smiled and I decided to get my revenge.

“Playing? Oppa! You hurt my feelings. You’ve broken my heart. Ap’a…” I pretended to sob.

“Sierra-yah… uljima,” Min Woo laughed as he patted my back. Jun Jin sighed and walked off.

“Ap’a…” I sobbed.

“Sierra, what’s wrong?” I heard Jae Joong say as he approached and I looked up.

“Hah! You actress!” Min Woo exclaimed, trying to look hurt.

“Come on… you knew I was acting all along,” I grinned. “And you love playing along don’t you? Haha!”

“Okay… I’m lost,” Jae Joong said, looking really confused.

“Your girl here is quite the actress,” Min Woo said to Jae Joong. “You should get her to act in a Banjun soon.”

“She is, isn’t she?” Jae Joong smiled and Min Woo smacked his own forehead. “What?” Jae Joong asked him

“Didn’t exactly mean it as a compliment,” Min Woo explained.

“Oh…” Jae Joong replied.

“Nevermind,” Min Woo said wearily as he sat down on the seat next to mine.

“Who said you could sit here?” I poked him.

“Leave me alone,” he sulked.

“Oppa, waegeurae,” I cajoled.

“You minx,” he mumbled and I laughed.

“Sierra,” Jae Joong fingers brushed my shoulder. “Do you wanna get something to eat?”

“Okay,” I said brightly as I stood up. “Bye oppa!” I waved my hands right in front of Min Woo’s face.

“Ka!!” he said in this grumpy tone, but then, his supposedly angry face broke into a smile and I smiled back. This was how a meeting with Min Woo would always be. He loved teasing me, but not in the kind of immature way Brian did. Min Woo was always flirting a little but you’d know he meant no harm.

“What do you want to eat?” Jae Joong asked as he put his arm around me and we walked up the steps of the auditorium.

“Erm… hold on, I forgot to tell hyung I was going out,” I said as I turned around and jogged towards Shi Kyung hyung. “Hyung!” I yelled. “I’m going out for a quick bite!”

“Be back in an hour,” he said.

“Araso,” I smiled and turned back to rejoin Jae Joong. “I feel like eating ch’uk,” I said.


“I was thinking of the time I got sick, and you made me ch’uk,” I smiled.

“Ooh… well, I guess I know this place we can go to. But it’ll definitely not be as nice as mine,” he grinned.

“Of course,” I smiled as I put my arms around his waist.

[Special segment through Shoei’s eyes]

I watched nuna and Jae Joong hyung walk out of the auditorium together. They looked happy, as always. Is there ever a time they looked pissed with each other in public?

Yesterday night, I almost walked in on them… getting it on. I was on my way back to my room from the kitchen, when I heard muffled sounds coming from her room. I’d thought it odd, since no one had rang the doorbell earlier. Turned out he’d let himself in.

“Nuna,” I’d called as I knocked on her door.

“Nae,” I heard her reply.

“Are you okay?” I asked. “I heard noises.”

“I’m fine,” she said as she opened the door and I saw Jae Joong hyung on her bed.

A year ago, that would’ve killed me. But now, it’s just a numbed feeling in my heart.
Am I over her? I don’t think I will ever be. If I were, I wouldn’t want to be near her anymore, I wouldn’t bother to be a part of S-Cube anymore. For as long as I still care, I am a part of this band.

Skye just told me this morning, on the way to the auditorium, that he was dating Hae Rin now. I don’t trust that girl. She always seemed to have a hidden agenda. Didn’t Skye once tell me that she liked Jae Joong hyung? I’m concerned about her intentions in dating Skye. If she ever hurt Skye or nuna, I will not let her off that easily. From the day nuna was assaulted, I’ve decided that I will let her live her life the way she wanted to. I would not interfere. I still felt guilty about it. Had I not run out when I did, she wouldn’t have chased after me. And if she hadn’t left the apartment to chase after me, the anti-fans would not have had the chance to hurt her.

“Shoei,” Shi Kyung hyung nudged me. “Let’s go out for lunch,” he said and we left the auditorium with Skye in tow.

It’s an hour before the limo came to pick us. I’m dressed in my signature tux, without a shirt inside. Skye shifted restlessly in his chair. He was probably nervous about tonight’s awards. We’ve come a long way since we met during our trainee days. I’m reminded of back when we spent all day dancing, singing and at the end of the day, we’d go up to the rooftop at the training studios to unwind.

“What kind of band do you think we’d end up in?” Skye asked me, one time.

“I dunno. But I’ve always wanted to be in a rock band.”

“Rock?” Skye said.

“Yea, rock.”

“I don’t think we will have that opportunity. Either we’re Pop, Hip Hop or R&B,” he said. “How big do you think our band will be?”

“I don’t care,” I said, “as long as I have a fair share of singing.”

“You know,” Skye said. “If our other members sang better, we may never get to sing as much.”

“It that’s the case, I will leave once my contract is up.”

Two years later, nuna walked into our lives. I can remember when we heard the news from Shi Kyung hyung.

“A girl from Malaysia?” Skye exclaimed.

“Yes,” hyung replied.

“And she’s 23?” I asked.


“She must be darned good then?” Skye said.

“I’ve seen her audition video. She needs work, but she has star quality.”

“Do you have a photo of her?” I asked hyung.

“Nope, and even if I did, I wouldn’t show it to you.”

“Wae?” Skye asked.

“It’s much more fun when you don’t know what to expect,” he smiled, and I agree. I don’t think even a photo would’ve prepared me for the first time I saw nuna.

We’re at the stylist’s, waiting for nuna to finish dressing up. They were taking especially long with her today. I wonder what they have planned for her? Our costumes were a powdery, silvery blue with black geometrical fabrics sewed on. Skye wore a huge black crystal encrusted cross and black crystal studs in his ears. I wore an array of tarnished chains around my neck and a dangly black crystal encrusted cross hung from my right ear. The crystal jewelries were all borrowed from Swarovski.

When nuna finally emerged, I could see why they’d taken so long. She wore a silk qipao, the traditional Chinese costume, in the same blue as ours but it had black lining on the edges instead of geometrical shapes plastered on it. It had slits on both sides and it revealed most of her thigh. The male fans were in for a nosebleed session. They had her wear a long string of black pearls and crystals. Her hair was spiked and scraped back in cornrows on one side of her head and adorned with black crystal clips. They’d even added extensions to her hair so that her hair reached her shoulders. In her ears were simple black crystal studs like Skye’s. The qipao ended a few inches above her knees and had a halter neck, which left her back bare.

“Aren’t you gonna be cold?” I asked.

“There’s a coat,” the stylist said and produced a matching embroidered trench coat which ended at her ankles and was slit at the back all the way up to her butt.

“Woah! Nuna!” Skye exclaimed as nuna put on the coat. “You look like a character from the Matrix,” Skye laughed.

“It’ll be an oriental version of the Matrix,” I smiled.

“You guys… I feel so out of place in this outfit. Why didn’t they put me in a modern dress?” nuna complained as she slipped on the black, knee-high leather boots the stylist set down in front of her. “I feel like an oriental dominatrix.”

“Every guy’s dream,” I smiled and she winced.

In the limo, we fidgeted nervously as we sipped the beverages they’d provided us with. We hadn’t won anything at the last MKMF. We’d been nominated for Group Newface, but lost out to a new all-guy group from DSP. The management had been pretty upset, and blamed it on nuna’s romance with Yun Ho. They thought that it was the sole contributor to the drop in album sales. This year was different. We were nominated for Best Group, R&B, Digital Popularity and Best Lyrics. We heard a rumor that we were actually just a few votes shy of getting the Daesang nomination.

As our limo pulled up at the red carpet, we held hands and cheered, “S-Cube, S-Cube, pump it up!” and then, I turned to open the door. The crowd screamed as I got out and I gave a little wave before turning around to extend my hand to nuna. She placed her hand in mine and I helped her out. The crowd screamed again and we both stepped aside so that Skye could get out. Again, he was given the same greeting nuna and I had received. He waved his good hand. His jacket had to be draped over his shoulder because of his cast, but he looked kinda cool still. The cheers continued as we walked towards the middle of the path on the red carpet, where 2 emcees, Gong Yoo and Jo Jung Rin stood on the little stage, ready to interview us. On the way, we paused a few times and posed for pictures together. Nuna practically radiated and everyone seemed really interested in her outfit. Once again, the stylists had done right.

[Back to the story through Sierra’s eyes]

“Everyone… its S-Cube!” Gong Yoo exclaimed and the crowd screamed.

“Waa…” Jung Rin exclaimed. “You guys look great tonight!” and she looked up and down at Skye and Shoei.

“Kamsahamnida,” Skye and Shoei smiled as they accepted the microphones from the assistants.

“Annyeonghaseyo! S-Cube-imnida!” we greeted to more screams.

“Sierra,” Gong Yoo turned to me, “you look stunning!”

“Kamsahamnida,” I bowed shyly.

“Yea, I want a dress like that too,” Jung Rin pouted. “Can we have a look at what’s underneath the coat?” she asked.

“Well, it’s for the performance later…” I hesistated.

“Just a peek,” Jung Rin urged me.

“Okay,” I said as I peeled the coat off my shoulders to reveal my bare back and immediately flipped the coat back on.

“Waaa!!!” both of the emcees yelled and everyone laughed.

“Does anyone need a tissue?” Jung Rin asked the crowd. “I think many out there are having a nosebleed.”

“Let’s get to some serious questions,” Gong Yoo said. “How do you guys feel about the nominations you’ve received?”

“We’re still in shock,” I replied. “There are so many capable and talented gasoo out there and we’re just grateful to have been included with those on top.”

“Skye and Shoei, I heard that you both had written the song, Ghosts, which is up for Best Lyrics tonight. How would you feel if you took home the award tonight?”

“Ecstatic!” Shoei said. “There are great songs out there, so many talented song writers, and we’re honored to just be nominated.”

“Aigoo,” Jung Rin exclaimed. “You guys are just so modest.”

Just then, the music in the background, which had been one of S-Cube’s song changed into a pop-rock song by our rival from DSP, Helix. Helix was the all-boy group who won Group Newface, the year we were nominated as well. With the exception of the R&B category, they were going to be our rivals for most of the awards we were nominated for this year. They consisted of 3 guys, Darren, Min Jong and Nakata. They would’ve been DSP’s equivalent of S-Cube if not for there distinct differences: they sang a mixture of pop, rock and other genres, they were an all-boy group, and they had only one foreigner, Nakata. Darren was born and bred in Illinois, USA and Min Jong spent part of his adolescence studying in England.

Up till now, because we were sort of rivals, having debut at the same time, we’d not met Helix personally. Most of the time, we’d just greet each other when we bumped into each other during events or recordings at the broadcasting stations. They strutted over in their black leather biker inspired outfits, a little reminiscent of TVXQ’s Tri-Angle outfits, minus the elaborate hair. The crowd screamed as loud as they had for us earlier as Helix waved. Skye, Shoei and I looked at each other, contemplating is we should walk off the stage, into the auditorium.

“Wah! Two of the freshest bands in South Korea, right here on stage with us,” Jun Rin said, and we took it as an indication that we were expected to stick around and chat some more.

“Annyeonghaseyo, Helix-imnida!” Helix greeted.

“You guys look absolutely dangerous tonight,” Gong Yoo remarked.

“Kamsahamnida,” they replied.

“We knew that S-Cube was going for suave and sophisticated, so we decide to go the other way,” Darren joked. “By the way, nuna.” he added as he looked at me. “You look hot tonight,” he winked and we could hear squealing from some of the girls in the crowd.

“Thanks,” I smiled. “You look pretty hot yourself.”

“Er… hyung,” Min Jong tapped Darren on the shoulder. “You don’t wanna get beaten up by TVXQ fans, do you?”

“Huh?” Darren said, looking confused.

“You’re hitting on Jae Joong’s girl,” Min Jong said.

“Oh… Mianhae… I forgot,” Darren smiled as he waved to the crowd and everyone laughed.

“So I’m sure the both bands know the categories where you’re up against each other tonight?” Gong Yoo asked.

“Yea, and we wish that there was such a thing as sharing the award,” Nakata said.

“You’re so sweet, Nakata,” Jung Rin exclaimed.

We stood there and chatted until another band arrived in their limo. It was SG Wannabe and we decided that we should be going in.

“All the best,” Darren said as both our bands parted to sit at our assigned seats.

“Same to you,” Skye replied on our behalf.

We met up with Ri In who was already sitting at the artiste area with Super Junior.

“Omo!” Ri In exclaimed when she saw up. “Skye! What happened to your arm?”

“I fell and you weren’t there to catch me,” Skye winked at her.

“Paramdung-i!” Ri In laughed and pinched Skye lightly on the arm.

TVXQ arrived 10 minutes later and they sat behind us. Also in the row behind us were Shinhwa, FTTS and Buzz.

About half an hour later, with the audiences and artistes all seated and settled down, the lights in the auditorium were dimmed until it was totally dark and the center of the stage was illuminated as the music swelled. I felt shivers run down my spine and Jae Joong’s hands came to rub my neck affectionately, trying to calm me down. I was so nervous, tonight would be one of the defining nights in our entire career thus far.

Thursday, 18 January 2007

Chapter 52: You

“Earth to nuna!” Skye waved his hands in front of my face and I snapped out of my thoughts to look at him. “What’s going on in that little head of yours?”

Do I tell him about my suspicions? Will he be willing to listen to me? How much influence does Hae Rin have over Skye now?

“Just spacing out,” I smiled as convincingly as I could. “It’s too early in the morning and your news fried my brains.”

“I’m sure,” he laughed as he continued eating.

“Yah! Skye! Did you finish up the hot water?” Shoei said as he walked out of the bathroom.

“What?” I exclaimed.

“Oops! I might have gotten a little carried away this morning,” Skye grinned.

“There’s no more hot water?” I said in disbelief.

“Yea…” Shoei said as he rubbed his hair with his towel. “I had to rinse the shampoo out of my hair with freezing, cold water.”

“Skye…” I groaned.

“Mian,” he said in his cutesy tone.

I stomped into my room to wake Jae Joong.

“Wake up!” I said as I shook his arm.

“You’re done showering?” he asked sleepily.


“Then let me sleep,” he said and covered his face with my bolster.

“No… There’s no hot water. I can’t shower. And you’ll need to go back to your apartment to shower.”

“Huh? Why?”

“It’s that stupid heater! The water gets used up real quick when we get carried away.”

“Okay…” he said as he sat up. “Do you wanna shower at my place?”

“Can I? Do you have enough hot water?”

“We haven’t run out before, if that’s what you’re asking?” he grinned.

“This is obvious discrimination by the management! You guys get the better heater.”

“We fall sick easily…”

“And we’re made of steel?”

“Get your clothes, ajumma. You’re wasting time nagging at me. I’m not the management.”

“When are you gonna be then?” I asked him with my hands on my hips.

“Get your clothes,” he said and he smacked my butt as he walked past.

“Yah! Pyeont’ae!!” I yelled, and he laughed.

We walked into TVXQ’s apartment a little after 8.

Chang Min was eating and Jun Su was banging on the bathroom door.

“Hyung! Hurry up!” he yelled and I guessed that it was Yun Ho in the shower. He took the longest to shower, most of the time. Yoo Chun was nowhere to be seen.

“Hyung! You’re back!” Chang Min smiled. “Hi, Sierra!”

“Hiya!” I smiled.

“Where’s Yoo Chun?” Jae Joong asked Jun Su.

“Still sleeping?” he shrugged.

Jae Joong opened the door to the room Jun Su, Chang Min and Yoo Chun shared and banged on it.

“Yah! Yoo Chun! Wake up!” he yelled.

“Mmm…” Yoo Chun mumbled.

“Yoo Chun…” I said. “Are those Mashimaro boxers you’re wearing?” and he jumped up immediately, scrambling for his blanket to pull it up and cover himself.

“Hyung!” he whined. “Why didn’t you tell me Sierra was here?” He looked embarrassed.

“You needed a little humiliation to wake you up,” Jae Joong smirked.

“I took a picture of it,” I said in a sing-song voice and I skipped off to Jae Joong’s room.

“Andoe…” Yoo Chun wailed.

“Stop fooling around,” Jae Joong said. “Get dressed.”

I was sitting on Jae Joong’s bed, unpacking my outfit, when Yun Ho walked into the room wearing nothing but a towel around his waist.

“Yun Ho!” I exclaimed.

“What?” he asked.

“You’re half-naked!”

“And is there anything you haven’t seen yet?” he winked.

“Jung Yun Ho!” I gasped.

“Araso… I just came in to get my pants. Keep your pants on,” he laughed.

“Not funny,” I huffed and I tossed Bambi at him.

“Bambi!” he yelled dramatically as he picked her up. “Kwaench’ana?”

“Get out!” I laughed as he gave me a forlorn look. He put Bambi on his bed, patted her head and walked out with his pants, really slowly.

“Appa will be back, Bambi,” he said as he turned back to look longingly at Bambi.

We were finally ready to go and left the apartment at about 8:45.

“Man… hyung is not gonna be happy,” I said as I looked at the time. I’m in Jae Joong’s car and the rest of TVXQ in Yoo Chun’s.

“This would be a good time to blame the heater and ask for a new one,” Jae Joong smiled.

“He’d be too pissed to hear me out,” I laughed.

“How long did it take for you to forgive him?” Jae Joong asked me, out of the blue.

“Huh?” I looked at him with a puzzled expression.

“How long did it take for you to forgive him for lying to Yun Ho?”

“I couldn’t really blame him,” I sighed. “At the end of the day, he was just doing his job. He was just doing what he thought was best for S-Cube.”

“And you were able to accept that?”

“He’d have lost his job if he hadn’t done what he did. And I don’t think S-Cube would fare better with a manager other than him.”

“That’s true. He really put all his efforts into helping you guys become a success.”

“I guess because I feel indebted to him, I can’t really bring myself to blame him for what happened.”

Jae Joong reached over and took my hand. I looked at him and smiled.

“I have him to thank,” he said softly.

“For what?”

“I would have never had a chance with you if he hadn’t told that lie.”


“But I really wish that Yun Ho didn’t have to get hurt because of all this.”

“Me too. But it’s happened and we can’t change it.”

“We can’t change it…” he said wistfully.

“What are you thinking about?”

“If things hadn’t turned out like they have and if you were still with Yun Ho, how would I be feeling now?”

“Let’s not go there,” I said as I traced his palm with my fingers.


“Let’s not think about that.”


“I don’t want to remember the guilt,” I said and I could feel my eyes starting to tear.

“I know you still care about Yun Ho,” he sighed.

“He’s a good friend. He was my best friend. Of course I still care.”

“Mian,” he said.

“Jae Joong, I love you. You’re the only one. You are the one now. Please remember that,” I said.

“I will,” he smiled and he reached out his hand to pinch my cheeks lightly.

We arrived at the MKMF venue at about 9:15am. I ran into the auditorium while Jae Joong parked his car since my manager was going to be much more furious with me than his would be with him. As I ran down the stairs towards the stage, hyung turned around and glared at me.

“Running is not going to make a difference,” he bellowed at me. “You’re already late. Don’t risk any injuries by running. I don’t need you rolling down those stairs.”

“Nae,” I said and slowed down my pace to walk down the stairs sheepishly.

Skye and Shoei were on the stage with Lex oppa, warming up.

“Get your butt up here,” Lex oppa said, when he saw me.

I dropped my bag beside Skye’s and Shoei’s and climbed onto the stage. I tossed my jacket beside one of the amps on the ground and started warming up. Skye was actually just stretching his legs and fooling around since his arm was in a cast. We went through the routine once and then Jun Jin oppa appeared.

“Hey!” he waved at us and he jumped onto the stage.

“Oppa!” I called out brightly.

“Sierra… no more sugar for you,” he laughed.

“Nae?” I said, confused.

“Why are you so high this morning?” he asked.

“I’m being normal!” I said indignantly. Did he think I was one of those girls who liked to act adorable in that squeaky, clingy, annoying way?

“Sure you are,” he winked. “So Lex, what do we have on the agenda today?” he turned to Lex oppa.

After Lex oppa had a short discussion with Jun Jin oppa, we did the routine again. We were singing Ghosts, from our 2nd album, since it’s the song for which we are nominated. As we rehearsed, TVXQ walked in from the back of the auditorium. They looked like they owned the place as soon as they walked in. When they walked, they automatically fell into their photo positions; from left to right, Jun Su, Yoo Chun, Jae Joong, Chang Min and finally, Yun Ho. I had a feeling that they were going to sweep up the awards again tonight.

“Sierra! Get you head back into the routine!” Lex oppa yelled at me. He must’ve caught me looking at TVXQ. I smiled sheepishly as Skye and Shoei groaned and we had to start again.

“Sierra,” Jun Jin oppa poked my back.

“Nae?” I turned to look at him.

“I know you’re smitten, but put your head in the game,” he winked. “I don’t wanna be stuck here for the next hour.”

“Mian, oppa,” I laughed. “I’ll focus on you instead.”

“Ah… no thanks! I don’t need to get beaten up,” he laughed as he put his hands up.

“Ready?” Lex oppa growled. He always got really tense and anal during our final pre-show rehearsals.

We ran through our new version of performance for Ghosts and when Lex oppa was satisfied, we were allowed to get off the stage and TVXQ climbed onto the stage to rehearse.

We sat in the seats near the stage and rested as we watched them rehearse. Their performance would be the most extravagant and complicated compared to most of the other bands. They tested out the lifts and their entrance and finally, they started dancing to their latest single. I watched them, mesmerized as usual and I was startled when someone tapped me on the shoulder.

“Such devotion,” Brian laughed.

“Yah! You almost gave me a heart attack.”

“It’s not my fault that you’re so immersed with ogling at your darling,” he smirked.

“Twaeji!” I said and I smacked his leg since he was standing beside me and I can’t reach his arm.

“Aah!” he yelled and jumped away. “You crazy girl,” he pointed at me and I stuck my tongue out at him.

“Brian, do you have to agitate her once you see her?” Hwan Hee sighed as he walked over.

“What? What did I do?” Brian put his hands up and tried to look innocent.

“Grow up!” I said as I playfully tossed my bottle of water at him.

“Hyung!” Brian called out. “Can you please control her?” he pointed to me when Shi Kyung hyung turned to look.

“Control her yourself,” was his reply and I burst into laughter at Brian’s expression. He looked so hurt that no one was on his side.

Hwan Hee patted Brian on the back and walked off. Brian made a face at me and followed Hwan Hee.

“Hey kids!” Someone called out and we all turned to look. It was Min Woo.

“Min Woo hyung!” Skye smiled as he stood up.

“What happened to your arm, Skye?” Min Woo asked.

“He was being a nuisance again,” Shoei replied.

“Yea,” I said and I smacked Skye on the head.

“Tsk… tsk… Skye, why did you have to upset your pretty nuna.” Min Woo winked at me. “She’s gonna get more wrinkles if you don’t behave,” he added.

“I do not get wrinkles,” I pouted.

“Of course you don’t,” Min Woo said, and he smiled slyly.

“Oppa! Miweo!” I said as I sat down and faced the stage, ignoring him.

“Sierra-yah, I was just joking. You can’t really hate oppa, can you?” Min Woo teased as he nudged my shoulder.

“Min Woo, stop flirting with Sierra,” Jun Jin said. I looked up and saw Jun Jin walking towards us and Min Woo was looking at him with an odd expression.

Tuesday, 16 January 2007

I guess...

I'd usually put this in my personal blog, but since this one's filled with all my dreams, I'll put it here.

JYP (Rain's label) is coming!!! To Singapore!!! I'm going to travel to Singapore on the 26th to audition with them on the 27th. Everyone!!! Please pray for me. The next 2 weeks, or 10 days, actually, are gonna be hell. Gotta prepare my voice and all that. I don't feel ready, and yet I think JYP is my best chance. I really do hope this is the end on my struggles and a beginning of a new journey. Sure, it won't be easy, but this is my biggest dream.

So everyone... please pray everything goes well for me! I'll never forget you guys, even when I've reached my dream, cos you guys helped me push myself to reach it!!!

Those who are in Singapore, the auditions will be held at Mediacorp at 8am. Anyone wanna come cheer me on? ^^

Monday, 15 January 2007

Chapter 51: Love Is

I struggled as my assailant tried to keep his hand over my mouth.

“Sierra,” he suddenly whispered. “It’s me.”

I stopped moving immediately. As soon as I stopped struggling, he took his hand off my mouth and he turned on my bedside lamp. It was Jae Joong.

“Michoso!” I whispered fiercely at him as I smacked his arm. “You scared the hell out of me!”

“Mian,” he said as he sat on my bed and rubbed his arm.

“What are you doing here?”

“I came to see you.”

“What time is it?”

“It’s a little past 11pm.”

“The guys let you in?”

“No, I let myself in.”

“Were they asleep?”

“Ani. Well… Skye is. I saw lights coming from under Shoei’s door.”

“Michoso!” I said as I smacked him again.

“Ap’a… mianhae,” he said as he took my hands in his.

“I’m not gonna live a long life if you keep scaring me like that every other day.”

He smiled mischievously and pushed me back onto my pillows gently.

“Then we’d better make the most out of the time you have,” he said and leaned in to kiss me.

His kiss took me by surprise and it caused a surge of butterflies in stomach. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. He tightened his arms around my waist and pulled me up against him. I moaned when he slipped his hands under my shirt and stroked my back with his fingers.

“Jae Joong,” I breathed as he lifted his head to look at me.

“Nae?” he said, also out of breath.

“You’re squashing me,” I laughed.

“Oh,” he laughed as he rolled over onto the bed and pulled me over so that I lay on top of him.

I traced my index finger across his lips. As I did his tongue licked where I last touched. I leaned in to kiss him lightly on the lips, then on his nose, on his forehead and then, he pulled me down and kissed me hard. We kissed and ran our hands all over each other’s body, and at some point, we stopped so that Jae Joong could take off his shirt. We continued kissing and just as Jae Joong was about to pull up my shirt, we heard a knock on the door, and we both froze.

“Nuna,” I could hear Shoei call my name as he knocked.

“Nae,” I answered.

“Are you okay?” he asked. “I heard noises.”

Oops! Jae Joong and I must’ve gotten a little too carried away. Jae Joong sat up and started putting on his shirt as I walked to the door and opened it.

“I’m fine,” I said as I faced him.

“Oh, hyung,” Shoei said. “You’re here.”

“Yea,” Jae Joong smiled sheepishly. “I let myself in.”

“I was on my way to the kitchen,” Shoei explained, “and I heard noises,” he grinned.

“Ah… haha,” Jae Joong laughed nervously.

“Since everything’s fine, I’ll just go back to bed,” he smiled.

“Okay,” Jae Joong and I replied in unison, and Shoei laughed at the both of us as he walked away.

“Gawd…” I groaned as I closed the door. “Thank god he didn’t just barge in.”

“That would’ve been fun,” Jae Joong laughed and I gave him the evil eye.

“You were so awkward just now, and now you tell me its fun?”

“Come here,” he laughed and he held out his hand. As I took it, he pulled me down onto the bed, put his arms around me and spooned me.

“Are you sleeping here tonight?” I asked him.

“Do you want me to?” he said as he kissed me behind my ear.

“I dunno. What about tomorrow morning?”

“I could go to the to the venue from here, with you. It’s just rehearsals. I don’t really need to get dressed up.”

“The media will be there to film the rehearsals,” I reminded him.

“Oh, right. I’ll get the guys to bring me a change of clothes then.”

He took out his phone and started typing a text message to Yun Ho.

“Do you think the guys mind?” I asked him as I picked the lint off my bed sheets.

“Mind what?” he said as he hit the ‘send’ button and put his phone on my bedside table.

“That you spend so much time here, with me.”

“They understand,” he said as he put his arms around me again. “They know I’m committed to the band. But you’re my outlet. I need you to get away and relax.”


“Chintcha…” he said as he combed his fingers through my hair.

“Are you nervous about the MKMF tomorrow?”

“Kinda. I hope we do well.”

“I just want S-Cube to win the R&B award. I’m not greedy.”

“Yea. The year TVXQ doesn’t release an album, maybe you guys might get a shot as winning the Daesang.”

“You arrogant pig,” I said as I pinched his arm lightly.

“Aaah!! Ap’a! I was just joking.”

“I know you were. But I guess you’re right,” I sighed. “The only time any of us will get the chance to win a Daesang would be when you guys don’t produce any albums for the year.”

“It’ll end someday,” he said. “Someday, a super band will emerge. A band that will be way better than we are and we’ll be out on the spotlight.”

“And what would you do then?”

“I was kinda hoping you’d marry me, and we’d open our own convenience store back in Ch’ungnam,” he laughed. “How about it?”

“I’ll think about it,” I smiled. “No promises.”

“I’ll be waiting for your answer when the time comes.”

“Okay,” I said. “Let’s go to sleep. It’s past 12 already.”

I reached out my hand and turned off the lamp. As he pulled the blanket to cover the both of us, I turned around to snuggle against him and I fell asleep within the minute, wiped out from the day’s events.

I woke up the next morning to Skye’s howling, outside my room. He must’ve gotten back into a good mood. He usually woke us up with his off-pitch singing when he was in an extremely good mood. I rubbed my eyes and peered at the clock; 7:30am. I should get up a little earlier since Jae Joong would need to use the bathroom, in addition to the three of us. I moved Jae Joong’s arm off me. He hadn’t gone to sleep on the futon like he usually did. He must’ve been really tired yesterday to sleep right through the night, or he’d usually get up in the middle of the night to sleep on the floor.

I sat up on the bed and turned around to look at him. He always looked so beautiful and peaceful when he slept. I reached out my hand to trace his beauty mark with my index finger. Not many people notice, but Jae Joong has a mark on the left of his neck, about an inch or two away from his jaw line. In fact, he had lots of little beauty marks on his face and when I first noticed them, I felt that instead of looking less perfect, they just made him look more endearing.

“Hmm?” he woke up, scrunched his face and tried to open his eyes.

“Go back to sleep,” I said as I leaned forward to plant a quick kiss on his cheek. “I’ll wake you after I’m done showering.

“Mmm…” he stretched like a cat, hugged my bolster and went back to sleep.

I walked out with my clothes and towel and saw Skye at the dining table, eating his breakfast.

“You’re in a good mood this morning,” I said as I walked over and mussed his hair.

“Ya… don’t mess with the hair,” he said as he smoothed his hand over his head.

“You’re so vain. I should tell hyung to shave your head for the next album.”

“You wouldn’t!” he glared at me, his already huge eyes as large as saucers. “You’re so evil, nuna!” he gasped. “How can you even think of doing that to me? My hair’s my charm; my pride and joy.”

“You’re gonna lose it when you join the army anyway.”

“Yah! Can we not talk about the army? I am so not looking forward to it.”

It had been discussed before, that when Skye went for his service in the army, Shoei and I would continue as a duo until he was released. This means that we would continue putting out albums and filming MVs while he was gone.

“Then you can’t be S-Cube!” Skye exclaimed when he heard the plan.

“Why not?” Shi Kyung hyung asked.

“We’re S-Cube because there are 3 Ss in the band. If there are only 2, you’d have to call them S-Square.”

“Skye… you’re so lame,” Shoei groaned.

“Don’t worry,” I laughed. “Your voice might not be on the tracks, but we’ll make sure we insert clips of you training in the army in all the MVs,” and I patted his arm. He made a face at us and turned around to sulk.

“So what are you so happy about?” I asked him.


“You won the lottery?” I guessed.

“Nope!” he said as he shook his head.

“Someone started a fan club for you?”

“Animida…” he smiled.

“No?? Then… Omo!!! Someone agreed to date you?” I exclaimed. I’d meant it as a joke but I was shocked when he actually nodded. “Chongmal?” I asked him.

“Yep!” he nodded gleefully.

“Who is it? Do I know her?” I hadn’t noticed Skye getting close to any girls lately. It really was a surprise.

“You know her,” he said.

“I do?”



“Hae Rin,” he replied, and I felt my jaw literally drop to the floor.

“I finally got her to say ‘Yes’,” he smiled.

I’m really confused. Had he kept in touch with Hae Rin all this while? Why didn’t he mention it to me? So was he the one who gave Hae Rin my Yahoo! ID?

“Skye, did you give Hae Rin my Yahoo! ID?”

“Yea, I did. She said she wanted to ask you some stuff about English. So were you able to help her?”

I’d spaced out the moment he admitted to giving Hae Rin my Yahoo! ID. She did not ask me anything about the English Language at all. What was she trying to do? Why did she accept Skye when she was obviously still into Jae Joong? Did she even like Skye? I’ll kill her if she hurt him.

Friday, 12 January 2007

Chapter 50: Poison Ivy

“Skye,” I yelled as I got up quickly and ran to him. He was rolling around, clutching his arm and groaning in pain.

“Skye, are you alright?” Dong Hae asked as he reached out to touch Skye’s arm.

“Don’t touch him,” Yun Ho said as he came forward. “He might have broken it. Skye, can you move your arm?”

“No…” Skye groaned.

“We’d better get him to the emergency room,” Jae Joong said.

The guys helped Skye up and brought him to Jae Joong’s car since it was more spacious than Yun Ho’s.

“I’ll pay the bill,” Yun Ho said as he walked back to the stall.

“Sierra, you can come later in Yun Ho’s car,” Jae Joong said as he got in. I looked in the backseat and saw that Dong Hae and Ee Teuk had already gotten in. The front seat was occupied by Hee Chul.

“Araso,” I sighed as I turned and walked back to join Yun Ho who was digging through his wallet for enough cash to pay for the food. “Do you have enough cash on you?” I asked him.

“Yeah,” he said as he finally produced enough notes and loose change to pay for the meal.

The rest of them had piled into the other cars and they left together, leaving only Yun Ho’s Mini in the parking lot.

“There’s still so much food left.” I said as I looked at the abandoned tables.

“Yea, too bad Chang Min isn’t here,” he smiled.

“Let’s finish up the food,” I said. I didn’t want to go to the hospital so soon. I’ve never been the kind who wanted to be there to watch the doctor stitch up someone who got hurt. I can’t bear to watch.

“Don’t you want to be with Skye?” he asked.

“No. Not yet. I don’t want to be there when he screams in pain. I can’t take it,” I said as I sat down and started eating.

“I forgot that you didn’t deal well with hospitals,” he said quietly as he sat down and picked up his chopsticks.

“Yea… and sometimes I wish you didn’t remember anything at all,” I said as I downed a cup of soju.

Yun Ho kept quiet as he drank from his cup as well. Then he refilled my cup and his.

“I’m talking to you,” I said as I looked at him.

“Did you expect a reply for that statement?” he asked me. “I thought you wanted me to stop talking about it.”

“Yes I do. But do you ever?” I asked him as I gulped down the soju.

“Stop drinking like that. You know you can’t drink,” he said as he moved my cup away from me.

“When you’re around, I need to,” I said as I covered my face with my hands.

“What’s wrong, Sierra?” Yun Ho sighed. I laughed to myself when I heard him say that. What’s wrong with me? He had the nerve to ask me that.

“Forget it,” I waved my hand at him as I stood up. “Let’s go.”

I closed my eyes and faced the window throughout the entire journey to the hospital. On the way there, Yun Ho’s phone rang and he plugged in his hands-free earpiece.

“Hyung,” I could hear Jun Su say and the rest was quite inaudible.

“Which hospital?” Yun Ho asked and I could hear Jun Su jibber his reply. “Okay. We’re on our way.”

“How’s Skye?” I asked him as soon as he flipped his phone shut.

“They’re putting a cast on him. It doesn’t seem to be too serious.”

“He’s lucky it’s just his arm and not his leg. And he’s so lucky we’re singing slow songs for the awards, not fast ones. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be able to do any of the dance routines.”

“Sometimes it’s hard to believe he’s my age,” Yun Ho laughed.

“It just proves that age does not indicate the maturity of a guy. If you do mature, then you do. If you don’t, then you probably never will.”

“And what are you getting at?” he said as he glanced at me for a moment before turning his attention back to the road.

“If I were talking about you, I’d tell you,” I said as I rummaged through my bag. I took out my bottle of water and took a sip. He sighed as we stopped at a traffic light.

“So… are you guys ready for the MKMF tomorrow?” he asked.

“Hmm… the boys are always ready and I’ll be ready when we get on stage.”

“Don’t forget the red carpet,” he smiled.

“Oh… I hate that. My pictures always turn out bad.”

“You just need to find your angle.”

“Easy for someone who’s been doing it for, what, 5 years?”

“It’s never easy. I still get bad pictures. I’m just lucky that they’ve never ended up in the press,” he smiled.

“But they do end up on the Internet,” I laughed.

“Yes, they do,” he cringed. “I hate it when I see an ugly photo of me on the internet.”

“I wanna burn those ugly photos of me when I see any.”

“Same here. Let’s have a barbeque someday and we can use them to light the charcoal,” he laughed. I turned to look at him, and I smiled. It was nice to be able to talk to him like a friend again.

We arrived at the hospital shortly and went up straight to the room where Skye was. The guys were sprawled all over the place. It was a 2-patient ward but only Skye occupied it. A few of them were lying on the bed next to Skye’s. Some were on the sofa, some on Skye’s bed at his feet and some just leant against the walls.

“How’s the arm, Skye?” Yun Ho asked as he walked towards the bed.

“Just a little fracture. It’ll heal,” he smiled. I smacked him on the head.

“How can you still smile?” I scolded him.

“Owww… nuna… ap’a! I’m already injured and you still wanna hit me,” he whined.

“You shouldn’t have climbed on that chair. Why won’t you grow up?” I smacked him again.

“Aaah… araso… mian… I can still perform tomorrow.”

“Yea. Koktcheongman,” Dong Hae said. “The doctor said that he could still perform.”

“In a cast. What would your fans say? They’re gonna think I don’t take care of my tongsaeng!”

“Sierra,” Jae Joong reached out and pulled me over so that I sat on his lap. He was sitting on a chair by Skye’s bed. “No one’s gonna blame you,” he said as his arms tightened around my waist.

“Yea, nuna. I’ll make sure no one does,” Skye said.

A few minutes later, Shi Kyung hyung walked in with Shoei. He’d been at the counter outside settling the hospital bill.

“Skye, you monkey!” he yelled as he walked in, echoing my sentiments.

“I’m fine, hyung,” Skye said. The only people who scared Skye were the managers and producers, and he definitely looked scared now.

“Fine?? You’re going to walk the red carpet in a cast tomorrow! You call that fine?”

“Hyung…” Shoei said as he put a hand on hyung’s shoulder to get him to calm down. Shi Kyung hyung sighed and turned to walk out. “The bill has been paid. Let’s go.”

All of us filed out of the room obediently as Dong Hae helped Skye off the bed.

By the time we got home, it was about 8pm. As soon as we got into our apartment, Skye walked straight to his room and closed the door.

“What’s with him now?” Shoei asked as he looked at me.

“Dunno,” I shrugged as I flopped down on the sofa. Jae Joong had left after dropping us off since we had a long day ahead tomorrow. It was the MKMF and we were due for rehearsals and final fittings before the show.

“See you at the venue tomorrow,” he smiled.

“What time will you be there?” I asked him.

“Dunno… early, I guess.”

“Hyung wants us to be there at 9am.”

“Then I guess we’ll be there around the same time too.”

“Okay. Naeil payo,” I said as I kissed his cheek.

“Nawa,” he said as I pulled away and he put his hands behind my neck and guided my lips to his.

I touched my lips at the memory of his kiss and I smiled to myself.

“Why are you smiling to yourself?” Shoei said, as he sat down in the armchair located diagonally from where I was sitting.

“Why are you spying on me?” I asked him.

“I’m sitting right in front of you,” he said. “Can I avoid looking at you?”

“I’m going to bed,” I yawned and stretched as I got up from the sofa.

“Remember to set your alarm,” Shoei said.

“Araso…” I yawned again as I walked to my room.

By the time I’d finished showering, it was about 9pm. I lay down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. All the running we did and excitement of today was really tiring. I closed my eyes for a moment but opened them immediately as I realized that I could just fall asleep like that. I decided that I should check my mails since I haven’t been doing that for days. I flipped open my Sony VAIO and turned it on. As I waited for it to load, I hummed Lee Soo Young’s ‘Grace’ while buffing my nails.

As soon as my Y!M (Yahoo! Messenger) logged on, I was bombarded with offline messages. Most of them were from my friends in Malaysia, some from the girls in Asteria and there was one from my sister, who was in Singapore. I scrolled through the messages and deleted them, one by one, after reading. Just then, a message popped up.

haerin33: Onni! Are you there?

Hae Rin? How did she get my Yahoo! ID. I didn’t know that she had a Yahoo! account. It’s about 9pm in the USA, she must’ve just finished her work for the day.

Sierra: Here… wassup?

haerin33: Onni! I miss Korea…

Sierra: I’m sure you do. How’s the recording going?

haerin33: It’s so tough! Everyone here’s so serious. I don’t get any fun at all.

Sierra: This is how it’s going to be if you’re gonna be a big star ;)

haerin33: *sighs*

Sierra: On the bright side, your training will end soon and you’re gonna be a proper artiste.

haerin33: Yep! That’s the only thing that keeps me going. How’s Jae Joong oppa?

Sierra: He’s fine.

haerin33: Tell him I said hi!

Sierra: Will do… By the way… why do you have a yahoo account? Don’t you use NateOn?

haerin33: I wanted to talk to you, and I heard that you hardly use your NateOn, unless someone had asked you to turn it on.

Sierra: Yea… Too many people on NateOn and I don’t have time to talk to all of them.

haerin33: Does Jae Joong oppa have Y!M?

I wasn’t about to tell her he did. I’d made him get one so that he could turn on only his Y!M and talk to me, alone, because if he turned on his NateOn, he’d have the same problem as I do, too many people waiting to talk to him.

Sierra: He doesn’t.

haerin33: Aww... Too bad then...

Sierra: I’m gonna go now. I need to get up early tomorrow.

haerin33: Okay... bye onni!

Sierra: Bye!

And I logged off my Y!M. She’s a weird girl, talking to the girlfriend of the guy she liked. Did she think that she could learn something by getting close to me? I liked her in the past, but I’m slowly starting to dislike her. Maybe it’s just me being possessive. I never want to imagine how she would try to steal Jae Joong from me.

I flipped open my phone and dialed Jae Joong’s number. I really needed to hear his voice now.

“Yoboseyo?” someone said when the call got through. It wasn’t Jae Joong.

“Is Jae Joong there?” I asked.

“Oh! Sierra!” It was Chang Min.

“Hi, Chang Min. Why are you answering your hyung’s phone?”

“He’s in the shower.”

“Oh… Then I’ll talk to you,” I laughed.

“Haha! Okay… talk!”

“How’s the date with Kristi?”

“Erm…” he stalled for a second. I could imagine him blushing right this moment.

“Don’t be shy,” I teased.

“It’s not really a date. We just went shopping, a movie, dinner, and talked about old times.”

“Old times? Haha! Makes you sound like an old man.”

“They are old times! I’ve not seen her for years.”

“And I bet she exceeded your expectation when you saw her again,” I said.


“She’s cute!”

“Yes she is,” he admitted.

“Good for you.”

“Ah…. Komawo… I guess. Hehe!” he laughed nervously.

“What are you doing with my phone?” I head Jae Joong asks Chang Min. He must have just finished showering.

“Entertaining Sierra while you’re showering,” Chang Min answered. “Here!” Chang Min said, and I could hear the phone exchange hands.

“Sierra?” Jae Joong said.


“What’s up?” he asked.

“Just wanted to hear your voice,” I said.

“Really?” he said and I could picture him grinning. He always does when I say something mushy like that. It’s as though he’d hit the jackpot.

“Chongmal,” I said.

“Can I call you back in a few minutes? Need to get dressed.”


“Talk to you in a minute.”

“Araso,” I said as we both hung up.

I dropped my phone onto my bed and closed my eyes. It would be great if I could just go to sleep now. I tried to keep awake by listening to my mp3s. I looked at my phone 10 minutes later, it still hadn’t rung. What was Jae Joong doing? Here I was, falling asleep and he still hadn’t called. Another 10 minutes later, I finally gave in. I turned off the lights, got into bed and closed my eyes.

I was in the middle of a dream. I was dreaming about the red carpet at the MKMF. I got out of the limo and I was wearing this huge baby blue gown; something like the one Cinderella wore to the ball. I was walking down the red carpet, oddly enough, alone. Suddenly, I heard someone call my name and I felt someone touch my arm. I turned around in my dream and I was jolted awake. I opened my eyes to see a figure standing before me in the dark and my heart stopped for a second. I opened my mouth, ready to scream, and the figure covered my mouth with his hands.

Wednesday, 10 January 2007

감사합니다 (Thank you) to my readers...

As my fictional life approaches it's 50th chapter, there's no one other I'd like to thank than those who'd supported me from back when I'd started on Winglin. Thank you for your comments. You were the ones who'd supported me and encouraged me to write. Without you guys, this romance would not have endured.

To all those who'd joined me since I came to Blogger, I thank you too. Knowing that you are still supporting me means a lot.

To all my readers, old and new, I will continue to keep this flame alive :)


P.S. Been meaning to do this long ago... here are the comments I'd gotten from those of you who'd read my fic on Winglin.

PaM -- 18 November 2006 at 4:30 p.m.
i'm going crazy upon seeing all my favourite stars in this fanfic!Nice one! Update soon~~~~~ ^^-Do visit my fanfics too hehehe, though i'm not really good in writing- fanfic/snowpam1 - Dbsk Micky'sfanfic/snowpam2 - Super Junior Kang's

Sierra -- 18 November 2006 at 12:05 p.m.
;) Yes, Dbsk01, S-Cube is a fictional band. Sounds real, don't it? Hehe! Just in case anyone's forgotten, I've moved to Blogger. So move your eyes and comments there :P

Dbsk01 -- 18 November 2006 at 11:44 a.m.
i <3 this fic!!
s-cube IS a fake band rithe?? loll

aQi -- 18 November 2006 at 2:57 a.m.
Hey! I'm loving your story! I'll be your silent reader all this time.. I'm pretty busy that I could only post you this comment! Love your style of writing.Update soon! Might not comment after this cause I'm so busy... I'll read your fic when you update!-aQi-

Sierra -- 17 November 2006 at 11:56 a.m.
Izz okay, Mel.. good stuff spreads fast, hehe! So spread 'em all around for me. Don't sound so sad, Blue. I'll still be writing. Just at a different location.Remember to visit me at my new location:

WinterGal -- 17 November 2006 at 10:49 a.m.
=) I shall continue in blogger.

melissa -- 17 November 2006 at 9:43 a.m.
THEY GOT FORCED TO BREAK UP?!? life is unfair. i have a feeling jae's gonna do something. o.Oyou know whaT dont move to blogger. MOVE TO LIVEJOURNAL. there's like so much dbsk fans there! ahhh, thanks so much fro writing this fic! aja aja hwaiting!

blue -- 17 November 2006 at 9:25 a.m.
I'll definitely miss your posts here =/I like reading your fanfics here but i'll visit your blog site :)

Sierra -- 16 November 2006 at 11:10 p.m.
Hey y'all...Not feeling so good today, so my posts will be a little later... wait for it... I'll still churn out my 2 chapters, don't worry.

angelicfighter -- 16 November 2006 at 7:39 p.m.
ooooooooooooooooowut did yunho do :OuPDATE i wanna kno x]lolz

wingless_anjo -- 16 November 2006 at 4:39 p.m.
hm.. i like it!! i like it!! ^____^ i really really.. feel sorry for Jae.. TT__TT poor jae... aw~ but.. OMG!! WHAT DID YUNHO DO!?!?!? WAT DID HE DO1?! U BETTER UPDATE QUICKLY!!

xiao xing -- 16 November 2006 at 11:59 a.m.
Sierra... i vote for.... YUNHO. Don't break them up. As kind as JJ is to Sierra during these hardship, it's Yunho who has never given up on his relationship. He really loves Sierra and he only wants whats best for her.JJ's love seems to be more rushed for some reason... I can't explain, but they way he's trying to love her just seems wrong to me. But then again... it's probably just me and my thoughts of honesty and faithfulness in a relationship...especially since Sierra and Yunho has become so INTIMATE already....On a secod note... i love your last updates... i always love ur updates... so UPDATE SOON AGAIN!! And.... what did Yunho do wrong?? What happened on their website that made JJ so angry?!?-- (*_~)

Sierra -- 16 November 2006 at 10:04 a.m.
Dear Melissa, all the better to keep you coming back for more. Hehe!Thanks Hilary. I do my best each day. I'm currently between jobs, so all of you can expect me to put up at least 2 chapters a day, unless I'd died or something ;)Keep the votes coming. I'm going to bed early tonight, with a sound mind, knowing that you guys are gonna help me decide on the path of my next plot. I ain't writing a single word until tomorrow morning. Spread the word, spread the love...Chongmal kamsahamnida!!!

mz -- 16 November 2006 at 8:53 a.m.
aihz.. wat's gonna happen next?? i'm so excited!let sierra be with yunho now, later with jae.. keke break up with yunho, i wanna imagine jae more in the story.. :P

Hilary -- 16 November 2006 at 8:39 a.m.
I really love your story!you update really quicky and i like that too =Phmmm i think... sierra should.. noo wait.. i like all of the couples, the stories going really well with her and yunho, but then i like her with jae as well T.T i don't knowcan't wait for the next chapter

melissa -- 16 November 2006 at 8:11 a.m.
i've changed my mind. xD let sierra be with yunho lah. it's fair & square. =D and why did you have to update TWO chapters but leave us readers hanging?!? ah, write soon!

melissa -- 16 November 2006 at 7:13 a.m.
lets sierra be with jaeeeee. xD exactly, yunho x sierra is nice too. o.O but jae seems so warm and fuzzy. LOL and you updated 2 chapters! woots! going to read them now~

WinterGal -- 16 November 2006 at 6:46 a.m.
Hmm... About that question, it's hard to choose. But maybe, yeah. I would love to hear another side of the story instead of only Yunho all along. Heh. Maybe her with jae or someone else? :)

Sierra -- 16 November 2006 at 6:13 a.m.
Thanks, WinterGal. Malaysia Boleh!!! ;)Here's a note to all readers, I need a poll. Hope that you guys can help me with my headache, "Should Sierra break up with Yun Ho?"Your votes will decide the outcome of the next chapter. So please vote and I will begin writing it in about... 14 hours (dead serious). Okay?Thank you all!!!

WinterGal -- 16 November 2006 at 6:08 a.m.
One of the best DBSK fanfics out there! XD Haha, do keep updating!! =D <333>

Sierra -- 15 November 2006 at 10:30 p.m.
Hey Ting, you were right to mention that the title looked familiar. Just so you know, all the titles for every chapter are names of songs by TVXQ and FTTS. Mostly FTTS though since TVXQ dun have that many songs with English words. I gotta start translating soon otherwise I'd be running out of chapter names. Unless, of course, I start using Shinhwa songs as well, then I'm never gonna run out. Hehe!Hey Mel, I just only noticed that Jae was blonde no more. I'll try to fix that somewhere in the story ;)Now... how do I not tell Yun Ho? Hehe!

kathlyn -- 15 November 2006 at 9:59 p.m.
this poster is gorgeous! as oppose to min woo's poster which was kinda irrelevant. unless of coz...he's gonna be the fourth party?!! btw the last few chapters really sucked me into the story liao.

LunarGaze -- 15 November 2006 at 9:46 p.m.
as bad as that last chapter was for yunho, it was soooooo sweet. *happy for jaejoong* update soon ^_^

stephie -- 15 November 2006 at 6:31 p.m.
ahhhh, noooo, remember yunho!!!!hope he doesnt find out........but these story, usually he does huh -_-;;owh well.... update soon! loving the story!

wingless_anjo -- 15 November 2006 at 4:36 p.m.
Ah~!! no!! man!how stupid! all those stupid damn papa whatever! hahahah aniwho! i JUST had to laugh when Si won got hit in the head >__<

tingstarplace -- 15 November 2006 at 2:41 p.m.
lol! that chapter title sounds familiar!! that said, loving the story - keep updating k? :D/colour_of_clear

melissa -- 15 November 2006 at 2:37 p.m.
HITOMI NO JUNNIN. L'Arc fan? haha, i love L'Arc!ah your story was abit shaky at the start but it's really good now! jaexsierra~~ you're really commited to this fic ne~ =D update soon!TOHOSHINKI BANZAI~ ah, random. JAE DYED HIS HAIR BROWN. no more blond jae. :(

Xiao xing -- 15 November 2006 at 12:50 p.m.
Sierra...what are you doing??You're digging yourself a deeper whole. Wonder what's gonna happen when Yunho get back....nice update by the way.hehe... laters!Update again!!

mz -- 15 November 2006 at 8:45 a.m.
the poster is fantastic! not exactly the best pictures of them all but it's great! now how do they get such flawless skin? uhm.. *droolin by the bucket~

Sierra -- 15 November 2006 at 8:16 a.m.
To pledge my allegiance to TVXQ, I've changed my poster again. Drool everyone... :P~

Mz -- 15 November 2006 at 6:36 a.m.
AH.. u're gettin SO SO SO good at this.. it's really great readin ur fiction, the anticipation is KILLING ALL OF US!!uhm, Benson is only in to stir up yun ho's jealousy yeah? tell me i'm RIGHT ON! hehe good good, our wait for ur next chapter will be worthwhile..meanwhile i'll still be thinkin of jaejoong in my mind.. XP

Sierra -- 15 November 2006 at 3:25 a.m.
Erm... I still can't come up with a poster, and I know this is more of a TVXQ fiction, but Min Woo looked so good, I had to put him up. Hehehe!

stephie -- 15 November 2006 at 3:12 a.m.
argh.. man.. jj doesnt seem to wanna let go!!!thanks for updating frequently.. really!!hope yunho comes back real soon..continue the great work! fighting! ^_^

Sierra -- 15 November 2006 at 2:12 a.m.
There's still a long way to go for this story. Who's to say who I'll end up with? Hehe! It could be anyone, so read on. Thank you for reading!!

Xiao Xing -- 15 November 2006 at 1:56 a.m.
Yah... you barely gave any info on whats happening except for the fact that JJ is getting desperate!! Man... that boys gonna be problems for Yunho and Sierra... hahaha...hmm... unlike my story... Yunho is the 'problem' for my character and JJ. hahaha...darn... so sad to see my man like that...oh well, i guess there's a side to every person. haha...keep writing.. and update soon. (*_~)

angelicfighter -- 15 November 2006 at 1:43 a.m.
:[i hope sierra will stay wit yunho and not be wit jj :[lol

kathlyn -- 14 November 2006 at 8:34 p.m.
how come jae joong is not the one doing acting in Japan? he seems to be really good at it and somemore keep on forcing Sierra to act along with him.

wingless_anjo -- 14 November 2006 at 4:51 p.m.
aw~ hero and seirra.. **blush* sucha cute couple! TT____TT but yea.. i think it's better if they didn't hurt yunho.. gosh.. hero is so frapping loyal! kekek that's great.. but.. 'Babe' do frinds call each other babe? erm.. update soon!

Sierra -- 14 November 2006 at 11:33 a.m.
Feel like I'm protecting Yun Ho a little too much. Anyway, to avoid hurting him further, I've sent him away. So let's see what's gonna happen next.Stephie, like it or not, Jae Joong IS already a third party. Just that we're not telling Yun Ho. Hehe!

Xiao Xing -- 14 November 2006 at 10:25 a.m.
Nice job! Yunho's not hurt... at least hoping he won't get hurt, cuz usually stories like this has another weird twist that the 'one who's not supposed to know' some how finds out and gets hurt majorly big time.hahaha...hmmm.Benson?!? Um... hope thats just a friend and not an admirer. Ur trying to take our eyes off of Jae Joong's and your problem... aren't ya??? hahaha....Seirra... you've got ur hands full of guys and a room full of problems. hahaha....good luck!!(*_~)UPDATE SOON!!

stephie -- 14 November 2006 at 7:41 a.m.
just downed chap 13.really glad tat yunho didnt find out.. hehe..sigh sigh.. jj is such a sweetheart. glad that u twisted the plot back. dont want jj to be a third party!hmm.. benson.. cant wait to read who he is..really enjoy reading this. rock on!! lols.

blackheart -- 14 November 2006 at 7:17 a.m. cute....~woah~woah~!!*cheer for u*

~Melody~ -- 14 November 2006 at 5:10 a.m.
Hi Sierra!! Your story is so so so cute..!! I love it.. Keep it on!! Aza aza fighting!! =)

stepie -- 14 November 2006 at 3:38 a.m.
OH MY GOSH *speechless*oh my goshhh!!!! jae joong.. and sierra likes him too! what about yunho!!!!dont forget that u like yunho too!!!!aaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so means yunho heard them or he didnt?? omg. omg.poor yunho.. dont hurt yunho T_Tomg! hope u update soon!I LOVE UR FANFIC!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sierra -- 13 November 2006 at 11:38 p.m.
Aiyoh... Wingless... don't get so excited... only 3 so far... hehehe! I'm loving my life...

wingless_anjo -- 13 November 2006 at 9:47 p.m.
TT_____TT don't tell me JaeJoong fell for her!! **pulls our hair** NO!!! wah!! TT^TT so many guys falling for her.. wat is she gonna do? and plus.. aw! man! poor yunho.. he really should keep an eye on his woman XD update soon!!!

Sierra -- 13 November 2006 at 6:26 p.m.
Hai... Xiao Xing, seems to me it's going nowhere but down from here. So sad... what am I gonna do? Btw, there will be no POV from the stars since I wouldn't know what the heck is going on in their head. But for characters I created, no problem ;)

~angelicfighter89~ -- 13 November 2006 at 6:14 p.m.
AAAaaaaahtis story is gettin better and better ^o^lolkeeep updatin :]

Xiao Xing -- 13 November 2006 at 3:33 p.m.
WHOA!! No way!! JaeJoong can't do that to Yunho!!! They're friends... they're brothers!! Sierra... you better have your head on straight!! No matter how hot JaeJoong is... you gotta stay true to your man!! --keke... plus...JaeJoong is my character's hubby in my story... keke (can't see him at a home wrecker, hehe.)hahahaha... (-_-")okay... any how... UPDATE SOON!!Gotta see what is going through that man's head and wats going through Sierra's head. haha.. can't wait!!Hope to see a new chapter very, very soon!!

LunarGaze -- 13 November 2006 at 3:20 p.m.
aaaaah!!! i love the end of the 11th chapter! update soon!

Sierra -- 13 November 2006 at 11:16 a.m.
Yaaahhh!! Jung Yun Ho, Kim Jae Joong, Brian Joo!! All of you Korean stars out there!!! You're turning me into a freakin' obsessive mad woman!!!

mz -- 13 November 2006 at 9:28 a.m.
kat, don't think u'd get to meet daniel.. u need to go back to work!! haha can't believe u get to "talk" to shoei, n elaine got to talk to jaejoong.. my 2 most fav guys in the fic.. aaahh~jaejoong n sierra? no no no, cannot cannot!! jaejoong should be a very loyal person, true to his bro yunho, cannot cannot!!~~love ur fic, j. ;) take care of ur health ar..

Sierra -- 13 November 2006 at 9:06 a.m.
Thanks y'all for the support. It's getting a bit obsessive, posting 2 to 3 long chapters each day. Hope y'all like the lastest twist. Keep up the comments and feedbacks.

dejavu -- 13 November 2006 at 8:14 a.m.
woah.. new reader here and im kinda quite wow-ed. by your whole audition experience and how it got you started on this fic. wow. haha.. not really done reading through all the chapters yet.. kinda skimmed through most cause im in a hurry.. but update soon! it seems really great! =)/_dejavu5_/_dejavu6_

stephie -- 13 November 2006 at 8:09 a.m.
omo!!! jaejoong and sierra??~!!! what about yunho.. omigoshhh~!!pooor yunho T_Tur ng parts were really funny.. haha..u are doing awesome! thanks for updating so frequently! XD

stephie -- 13 November 2006 at 4:21 a.m.
shoei.. sniff sniff. that chap was sad for him T_Tahh, yunho, love him. keke!cant wait for next chap! jaejoong and sierra mv!bye elaine and kat.. really love ur fic!!!

kathlyn -- 13 November 2006 at 4:14 a.m.
nOoo...don't deport Kat back to her country before she even have a decent fling. at least let her meet daniel henney.

blackheart -- 13 November 2006 at 2:45 a.m.

Sierra -- 13 November 2006 at 12:30 a.m.
Hi, u-boat. I'm sorry but SUJU will mainly have cameo roles since I love TVXQ and FTTS more. But I'll make sure your Hee Chul appears often ;)

u-boat -- 12 November 2006 at 8:57 p.m.
o.o O.o o.000 more heechul partss please! anyways, nice fic so farr. UPDATE! (heechul fic- /u_boat )

wingless_anjo -- 12 November 2006 at 12:23 p.m.
hahahha aw!~ kekek so cute! too bad u guys always got interupted >___<>

mz -- 12 November 2006 at 12:14 p.m.
ah!!! yun ho is cute, but i think i'd prefer jaejoong.. *drool..hehe, elaine n kat sounds so real, like they were really there!! haahhaCHAPTER 10, PLEASE~~~ ;)

nonex -- 12 November 2006 at 6:41 a.m.
weee another update xD

Sierra -- 12 November 2006 at 6:15 a.m.
I'm quick, aren't I? I'm gonna become a typing zombie soon. Hehe! Shoei? I dunno what to do with him. What should I do with Shoei???

stephie -- 12 November 2006 at 6:06 a.m.
i just finished submiting the comment,then went back to main index then,ta-daa, u updated.. wahh! kekeke.anyways, will keep on reading!what's gonna happen to shoei?

stephie -- 12 November 2006 at 5:36 a.m.
ah! yunho is back! yay!!!was really glad u updated so soon!!jaejoong is such a sweetheart!update soon! awesome writing!! d^_^b

wingless_anjo -- 12 November 2006 at 3:45 a.m.
aw~ cute.. very very cute.. very realistic problems and thinking too ^___^ hahahah aw~ jaejoong is too kind! kekeke update soon aight!?

Sierra -- 12 November 2006 at 2:54 a.m.
Thanks to Elaine's whining, I had to put up Chapter 7 at like 1am yesterday. I feel like having a good cry now. Yun Ho!!! You broke my heart... hehe!I'm gonna load up on chrysanthemum tea now (good for the eyes) and I'll try to make ch9 happen.

elaine -- 12 November 2006 at 2:20 a.m.
i just keep coming back for more and more!! what more can i say? hehe... write more kay? it fuels my fantasy too hahaha

stephie -- 12 November 2006 at 2:06 a.m.
hey!!i really like ur story!!!i didnt know they had SM audition in KL!? o.O anyways keep up the writing!!cant wait for update!!

Xiao Xing -- 12 November 2006 at 1:47 a.m.
Excellent!! DEFINETLY AN EXCELLENT STORY IN THE MAKING!!! Your story is great!! I DO wanna see more romance... and comedy in your story! I'm sure you'll be able to make it happen!! But do what you feel you must do to make this story fit and finished!!! Keep writing...keep updating.... and KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!(*_~)p.s: Thanks for dropping by mine!! means a lot to me!!

Sierra -- 11 November 2006 at 12:29 p.m.
Nah... I don't think Brian likes Sierra. He was just dragged into it because of Yun Ho's insecurities. Hehe! But we'll see... If you see any reference to songs, try listening to the songs and reading the story at the same time. They'll help you feel exactly how the characters are feeling ;)

LunarGaze -- 11 November 2006 at 12:03 p.m.
it feels like the story's a love square now... is creative in my opinion. Good use of L'Arc en Ciel's song. I got a perfect image with that. can't wait for the next chapter!

Sierra -- 11 November 2006 at 8:01 a.m.
I didn't think that people would really like it. I'm so happy that you guys enjoy reading it. The truth is I haven't written even an essay in years. So it was surprising for myself that I could come up with so much. I guess the power of the fantasy is what's driving me to write. Not being to reach a dream must've made me really desperate and wishful :PAt the moment, I don't have a poster for my story. But I'll work on one real soon, I hope. Meanwhile, hope you all stay tuned. I will try to write as many chapters as I can and will keep it as interesting as possible. Keep commenting! Suggestions are welcome.

tingstarplace -- 11 November 2006 at 5:13 a.m.
hey! new reader here. the storyline's really good - i've enjoyed reading it so far! keep updating k? hope to read more soon :Dp/s: do drop by my fic /colour_of_clear if you have the time! x

lucky4u -- 10 November 2006 at 8:30 p.m.
HEY! I love your story! OMG! It's so good! Can you update a.s.a.p? Thanx. Luv Ya! ^_^

Xiao Xing -- 10 November 2006 at 4:31 p.m.
AHHH... I LOVE YOUR STORY!!Wow... you're a really REALLY good writer!!I love writing styles like this... I hope you update soon!! Your story is really really inspiring, too bad you didn't make the cut... but there are other ways to make it.But if you can't live it, you can still dream it. hehe...any how... UPDATE ASPA!! OKAY?okay... waiting paitently for your next update!!Hwaiting, Unnie!!p.s: I'm older than DBSK too... hehe... and I'm in love with them too... hahaha... -_-".(*_~)

LunarGaze -- 10 November 2006 at 3:51 p.m.
i love your fic so far ^_^ update soon!

Mz -- 10 November 2006 at 3:04 p.m.
wah.. so romantic!! ur story is makin me think of when i'm gonna experience all those heart beat racing and adrenaline again.. ;)put up pictures soon yeah, so we can imagine the scenarios better n drool over the handsome guyz.. hyuk hyuk.. :P

nonex -- 10 November 2006 at 7:54 a.m.
nice story! update soon! :)

Sierra -- 10 November 2006 at 4:13 a.m.
Well, you're in luck. I'm on a brain roll now. I'm gonna write until I can't think of anything. I hope the starting wasn't too boring. I was afraid people would be bored with so much about my fictional band mates. Hehe! But they are very good looking as I said they are. Otherwise, SM won't sign them. Hehe!

wingless_anjo -- 10 November 2006 at 4:03 a.m.
i'l be the first to comment. i like ur story alot.. i'm very glad that DBSK and FFTS motivated u hahah.. wait.. was that part of the story? >___> sorry im so slow! TT__TT aniways i'm liking the story so far~ ^___^ i really really like it! hahaha i hope you update soon too!