It was the way Yun Ho sang the song. His emotions were really coming across in the song, and it made me wonder if I was the cause of those emotions. The song ‘Ice Box’ was about the guy being hurt by his past relationship with a girl and it affected his new relationship. Granted Yun Ho wasn’t in a new relationship, but he sure sounded upset. Was I the cause of him not being able to move on?
We called for lunch to be delivered, the usual rice boxes and noodles. I had jajangmyeon and mandu.
“You’re still crazy about mandu,” Yun Ho smiled as I gleefully opened the container of pan fried mandu.
“It’s my favorite thing to eat,” I smiled as I picked one up with my chopsticks.
“What about rice?”
“Yea… rice too. And japchae,” I laughed.
“It’s a wonder your face doesn’t look like a mandu,” he teased.
“Why do you and Jae Joong crack the same jokes?” I pouted.
“We do? It comes from living together for years. You really start rubbing off each other,” he said.
“Don’t see Skye and Shoei rubbing off me,” I said; my mouth full with mandu and noodles.
“That’s cos you’ve got stronger character. So you rub off them. On Skye at least, since Shoei has not changed at all. He’s still quiet and reserved.”
“But eloquent when speaking in public.”
“That he is… so why wasn’t he made leader?” Yun Ho asked.
“Cos I’m older,” I said, slurping another mouthful of noodles.
“You’ve got sauce on your face,” Yun Ho laughed.
“Where?” I asked as I swiped a napkin around my face.
“On the left,” Yun Ho pointed, and I tried again.
“Nope,” he said. “Here… let me,” he took the napkin out of my hand and reached forward to wipe the sauce off for me.
“Komapda,” I said, and I went back to eating.
For that brief moment our fingers brushed each others’ and for the brief moment his fingers grazed my cheek, I revisited some long buried emotions. I was loyal to Jae Joong and I loved him more than anyone in the world, but sometimes, Yun Ho still had the power to touch my heart. Perhaps that when you’ve loved someone, they will always occupy a space in your heart, no matter how long it has been, the memories of those feelings will always be there.
Yun Ho and I hadn’t parted on bad terms, just bad circumstances. In a way, you could say that we did not make a clean break like most couples do. We just walked away from each other, and in my case, I walked towards Jae Joong. Maybe if he had someone else, he wouldn’t still hang on to our memories. Then again, I have Jae Joong, and yet I still think about the past. Could it be that humans can never let go of their past?
We recorded late into the night, until about 10pm. Dinner was delivered to the studio again, and we ate quickly before continuing. During one take, I accidentally burped into the microphone. The producer cut the music and everyone was looking at me with odd expressions.
“Choesonghamnida,” I smiled sheepishly, and Yun Ho burst out laughing.
“I would expect me to do that, not you,” he said.
“I’d been holding it for sometime. I ate too quickly just now and it made my stomach gassy,” I explained, as I started to feel a little embarrassed.
“It sounded so cute,” he laughed. “Hyung,” he said to the producer, “can we include that in the song?”
“Michoso,” I exclaimed and I smacked him on the arm.
“No,” the producer smiled. “Let’s try again.”
“The burp?” Yun Ho asked, and laughed again.
“The song,” the producer said, still smiling, and his lips were twitching from trying not to laugh.
When we got home, the guys won’t home yet, and so was Jae Joong.
“They must be at a taping,” Yun Ho said as he took off his shoes to put on his slippers.
“I’ll shower first,” I said.
“Sure,” he replied. “I’ll be in the workroom.”
I rummaged through the bag I’ve yet to unpack since there wasn’t much space in the wardrobe anyway, and pulled out my pajamas. As I turned to walk out of the room, I could hear voices in the living room; the guys were back.
“That’s not how you do it,” Chang Min said as Jun Su danced part of their choreographed routine.
“What do you mean that’s now how I do it? I got it right!” Jun Su said.
“You don’t have the right expression,” Chang Min said and he copied Jun Su’s moves but with an exaggerated expression, meant to imitate Jun Su’s seriousness when performing.
“Ya… I don’t look like that,” Jun Su exclaimed.
“Did I say I was imitating you?” Chang Min said gleefully.
“Hey guys,” I cut in, as I walked towards them.
“Sierra,” Chang Min greeted me.
“You’re home early,” Jun Su said.
“You’re home late. I’m home at a decent time,” I smiled.
“If only the times we came home weren’t so indecent,” Yoo Chun said as he walked out of the kitchen.
“With you, Yoo Chun… nothing is ever decent,” Jae Joong said as he followed Yoo Chun.
“Brace yourselves,” Jun Su said as I walked towards Jae Joong.
“Tough day?” Jae Joong asked me as he leant down to kiss me on the lips.
“I survived. Looks like you did too,” I smiled.
“My virgin eyes,” Chang Min wailed for effect as he walked to his room.
“You know… this is getting a little old,” Yoo Chun said as he followed behind Chang Min. “How long are you going to continue to be a virgin? It’s getting annoying,” he carried on until the door was closed it all we could hear were mumbles.
“I’ll be in the workroom,” Jun Su smiled, and he walked away from us.
“I was gonna shower,” I said as I put an arm around his waist.
“Go then,” he said. “I’ll shower after you,” he said as he kissed the top of my head. “Hmm… you need to wash your hair,” he wrinkled his nose.
“I do not smell that bad,” I said indignantly.
“How would you know if you can’t sniff your own head?” he asked me.
“If I can’t smell it without sniffing my own head, it is definitely not as bad.”
“That’s what you think,” he laughed.
“Hey… be serious. Does my hair really stink?” I pouted.
“Aniyo… go shower before it gets worse,” he laughed as he steered me towards the bathroom.
“You’re mean…” I pretended to sob as I walked into the bathroom and closed the door.
I snuck into the workroom Jun Su shared with Chang Min and Yoo Chun while Jae Joong was showering. Jun Su was engrossed with his composing that he didn’t hear me enter the room. I waited for him to stop playing on the keyboard and stop the recording, then I slapped him on the back.
“Yah!” I yelled, and he jumped.
“Darn these LCD screens…” he laughed. “I can’t see you coming from behind.”
“Don’t you miss those primitive CRT computer screens,” I asked Jun Su as I sat down in Chang Min’s chair and rolled over towards him.
“Nope… I love my LCD screens… especially my 19-inch screen,” he winked.
“Stop bragging,” I laughed and threw the stuffed bear in their workroom at him. “You’re working again? Don’t you feel tired?”
“I had something I wanted to record down before I forgot,” he smiled as he hugged the bear I’d tossed at him.
“Ah… Yea… I do that too, sometimes. It’s horrible when you forget what you wanted to record or write.”
“Yoo Chun is still leading,” Jun Su said.
“You mean he still has the most songs written?”
“He writes like a maniac… we can never catch up,” Jun Su laughed.
“I bet you’re close behind.”
“Not that close… so how’s your day?”
“Recording all day with Yun Ho. In a few more days, we’re gonna have to learn the dance routine. I hope I can pick it up.”
“You can always get hyung to teach it to you over the weekend.”
“We’re probably going to work this weekend anyway,” I sighed.
“Don’t feel so bad. Being this busy only means you are successful,” he said as he patted my back affectionately.
“You’re right,” I smiled at him. “I should be thankful I’m busy.”
“Don’t you want to shower?”
“Chang Min’s supposed to tell me when he’s done. That boy probably got sidetracked by supper,” he smiled.
“I should probably go to bed,” I said. “Another long day tomorrow.”
“Yea, go on,” he said. “See you in the morning.”
“Right,” I smiled.
“It’s nice having you stay over for the month,” he said.
“Why? Aren’t I crowding you guys?”
“Nah… it’s nice to see a different face in the morning. I’ve been looking at the same 4 faces for the past 5 years,” he laughed.
“Gotcha,” I laughed, and I walked out.
“Where were you?” Jae Joong asked me as I entered the room.
“In the workroom with Jun Su,” I said as I lay down next to him.
“You guys up to no good again?” he said as he pulled me close to cuddle.
“Mmmhmm…” I murmured as I pulled his arms tighter around me.
I guess I was really tired. As soon as I closed my eyes, and I had only intended to relax for a moment, I fell asleep.
“Wake up,” I heard a voice say as the person nudged me softly.
I opened my eyes, sort of groaned, and saw Jae Joong sitting on the foot of the bed.
“G’morning,” I said, in an almost inaudible whisper.
“Someone really blacked out last night,” he smiled.
“I didn’t know what happened either. I was just closing my eyes to relax, and I fell asleep,” I laughed.
“Twaeji…” he smiled and he reached forward to tweak my nose.
“Ya…” I whined and rubbed my nose.
“Come on… time to wake up,” he said as he stood up.
As usual, he was already dressed. He wore a pair of worn, faded jeans and a sleeveless shirt that clung to his body, showing of his toned muscles. I watched as he moved around his room picking up and putting on accessories; his earrings, rings, bracelets and necklace.
“Help me up…” I called out to him lazily.
He turned around and laughed softly, then he walked towards me and pulled me up by my outstretched arms.
“Twaeji,” he said softly, and kissed me on the forehead. “Hurry up,” he added before walking out of the room.
As we did yesterday, Yun Ho and I headed to the studios together and we dived straight into work. ‘Ice Box’ wasn’t perfect yet, and we had today to perfect it before we moved on to the next song. By nightfall, we’d have sung the song for maybe 30 times, and we were still working on it.
“That bit was too slow Sierra,” the producer said. “You were slurring the words a little. Let’s take a break.”
We’d been at it for more than 10 hours and I was almost cracking. I don’t know how Yun Ho does it, but he never looks tired.
“Let’s go get a drink,” Yun Ho said.
“I brought some warm honey today,” I said.
“Let’s drink it outside then,” he said. “We need to get out of this room.”
I picked up the flask I’d brought with me, and we walked out of the control room. He must be really stressed today and I could hear it in his voice, even if he didn’t show it on his face, especially in front of the producers.