Chapter 38: High Time

As I approached them, Hae Rin looked up and smiled at me, “Onni!”

“Hey…” I smiled back. “Are we leaving, Yun Ho?”

“Yea,” he said and he got into the car to start the engine.

“Where’s Jae Joong oppa?” Hae Rin asked me just as I was getting into the car.

“He’s busy, so he sent Yun Ho to pick me up,” I replied. Did she think I was two-timing Jae Joong?

“How thoughtful of him… and how nice of Yun Ho oppa,” she said.

“Yes… I gotta go. See ya,” I said.

“Oh! I’m coming with you,” she said brightly. “Yun Ho oppa said I could, since I haven’t had dinner.”

“Right… get in then,” I said as I got in.

During the whole ride, Hae Rin chatted animatedly while Yun Ho and I looked ahead, answering only when she asked a question directly. Otherwise, she was just babbling away about what she’d been doing. We arrived at the ramen shop that we always went to as a group. Jun Su was waiting for us in the usual corner.

“Hyung!” he waved when he saw us.

“Jun Su oppa!” Hae Rin called out.

“Oh… Hae Rin. You came too?”

“I haven’t had dinner, so Yun Ho oppa invited me along.”

“Where are the rest?” I asked him as I sat down.

“They’re still filming.”

“What time do they finish?” I asked Jun Su.

“I’m not sure.”

“I don’t think they’ll be finishing in the next hour,” Yun Ho said.

“Aww… I wanted to see Jae Joong, Chang Min and Yoo Chun oppa,” Hae Rin said.

“Sorry… you’re not gonna get your wish tonight,” Jun Su smiled. “But aren’t hyung and I enough for you?”

“Of course it’s nice to see you and Yun Ho oppa, but it would be perfect if I could see all five of you together,” she giggled. I was beginning to tire of her existence. What was she up to? I just want to throttle it out of her.

“You won’t see us that often starting next week. We’re gonna be really busy preparing for New York,” Yun Ho said.

“I wish I could come with you guys,” she said.

“Maybe in two years’ time, you will,” Jun Su smiled.

When we’d finished eating, I immediately turned to Yun Ho.

“Can we go now?” I asked him.

“You’re tired?” he asked.

“Kinda,” I lied. I couldn’t stand hearing Hae Rin’s voice any longer.

“Hyung, you send Sierra home. I can send Hae Rin home,” Jun Su offered. I was very relieved. Having to be in the same car as her again would be pure torture.

“Thanks, Jun Su,” Yun Ho said as he got up. “Can you get the bill? I’ll pay you when I get home.”

“No problem,” Jun Su smiled and Hae Rin didn’t look too ecstatic as we walked off.

We drove in silence for awhile.

“Is there something wrong?” Yun Ho asked me and I sighed. “Come on, tell me. It’s not been so long that I’ve forgotten that expression,” he said as he reached over and nudged my cheek with his index finger.

I trusted Yun Ho. I’ve always trusted him, so I told him.

“It’s Hae Rin.”

“What about her?”

“She’s after Jae Joong,” I said and there was a moment of silence before Yun Ho spoke.

“How do you know that?”

“Skye told me she’d admitted it to him.”

“She hasn’t done anything, has she?”

“No.”

“Don’t worry. Jae Joong will never betray you for another girl.”

“I know he wouldn’t. I’m just worried about what Hae Rin plans to do.”

“What can she do? Kill you?” he said. “I don’t think she is capable of that.”

“I just feel uneasy whenever I see her. I don’t know what she’s planning to do and I don’t think I can take another blow when it comes to love.” Yun Ho didn’t answer me and just stared straight ahead. “Mianh, Yun Ho. I shouldn’t be talking to you about this.”

“Kwaenchana. Who else can you talk to? You’ve known me the longest out of all the guys. If you can’t turn to me, who can you turn to?”

“I still feel bad about what happened between us.”

“We’re responsible for our own actions. We chose our own paths. There’s nothing to feel bad about.”

“And you don’t regret it?”

“So what if I do? What’s done is done.”

“Yun Ho-ya…”

“Let’s drop it, Sierra,” Yun Ho said. “We can’t turn back the time and you can’t change your feelings now, can you?” I didn’t answer him. “I can live with this. So you’ll have to live with it.”

“I just never thought we’d end up like this,” I sighed.

“And I never thought I’d lose you to a brother.”

The next week came and we’re in the studios, early in the morning, laying down the tracks we’d planned for the concert in NYC. We had to record them now so that we could release them as part of the concert’s album when it’s over. Apart from recording 인사 (Insa), we were recording ‘Hold On’, a song from our 2nd album, which will feature TVXQ for the concert. It was a mid-tempo hip hop song with strains of modern classical sounds in it, a little like Misteeq’s ‘Scandalous’. We gathered in the recording booth, all 8 of us. The producer signaled that they were ready and we gave them the thumbs up. Strong sounds of violins echoed into our headphones for the intro, and we started singing.

Sierra: I want you, I need you
Each day I wanna be with you
I’m cold now, please hold me
[Jun Su: I’m cold now, please hold me]
When you leave, please don’t forget me
[Jun Su: When you leave, please don’t forget me]

Jae Joong: To see you, and touch you
Brings out the beast inside me
To own you, to have you
[Sierra: To own you, to have you]
I’ll never let you go
[Sierra: I’ll never let you go]

Skye: In this world where love isn’t forever
In this world where affections could turn to hate so easily
Shoei: In this world where wanting someone, becomes pure torture
In this world where love may just disappear

Guys: Hold on, grab my hand
Don’t you ever let go
[Sierra: Let go...]
Baby, if you don’t
I might lose you forever

Sierra: Hold on, take me with you
Don’t leave me here alone
All: If you don’t, baby
You may regret it

Chang Min: I want you, I need you
Your smile I’ll always remember
When we kiss, I shudder
[Sierra: When we kiss, I shudder]
Waves of pleasure wash all over me
[Sierra: Waves of pleasure wash all over me]

Yun Ho: To see you, and touch you
So near that I could smell you
Your face imprinted in my mind
[Jae Joong: Your face imprinted in my mind]
I can never love another
[Jae Joong: I can never love another]

Yoo Chun: In this world where life is turning meaningless
In this world where no one cares what happens to you
Jun Su: In this world where you and I could be one forever
In this world where I would never give up on you

Guys: Hold on, grab my hand
Don’t you ever let go
[Skye: Let go…]
Baby, if you don’t
I might lose you forever

Hold on, take me with you
Don’t leave me here alone
If you don’t, baby
You may regret it

Shoei: Hold on, grab my hand
Don’t you ever let go
S-Cube: Baby, if you don’t
I might lose you forever

Jun Su: Forever… yeah, yeah…

After we were done recording, it was time for us to work on our routines for the performance. TVXQ’s routines have been decided for weeks and they’d been practicing since. We now had to learn the routine for ‘Hold On’. The routine had me in the front and center of the group formation, Jae Joong and Jun Su on either side, Shoei and Yun Ho behind us and Chang Min, Skye and Yoo Chun at the back. As we took turns to sing, we’d rotate so that the main vocalist was in the middle and the backup was on the right. The biggest challenge for this performance what that we had a strongly choreographed dance which doesn’t stop anywhere in the song and we’re going to sing live. After a few hours of rehearsal, the lack of exercise in the past 2 weeks was starting to get to me. The music stopped and while our choreographer started correcting us, I was bent over, panting hard.

“Skye, you need to distance yourself a little from Yoo Chun. You almost collided into him back there,” Sang Min oppa, the choreographer, said.

“Kwaenchana?” Jae Joong asked me.

“Kwaenchana,” I said as I tried to catch my breath.

“Sierra, when was the last time you trained?” Sang Min oppa asked me.

“I was recording every single day of last week. I didn’t have the time to train,” I replied.

“And how are you supposed to catch up now? We have exactly 3 months to get ready for NYC,” he said sternly.

“She didn’t really have a choice,” Yun Ho defended me.

“She should’ve squeezed in the training time,” he dismissed.

“I’ll go to the gym every day for the next 3 months,” I said.

“You’d better,” he replied. “Let’s start again from the top,” he clapped his hands.

We trained for another 3 hours before Sang Min oppa allowed us to end the session.

“Shall we go for dinner together?” Jae Joong asked me.

“I need to go to the gym. Can we have dinner an hour later?” I said.

“But it’s almost 9pm. You should eat first.”

“If I eat now, I can’t exercise.”

“If you don’t eat now, you’re gonna get a gastric attack,” he said, his tone started to sound a little heated.

“I have my pills,” I reasoned.

“The pills are just a temporary measure. You should prevent the attack in the first place.”

We reached the lobby and I walked off ahead of him. He ran after me, grabbed me by the arm and started dragging me towards his car.

“Jae Joong! Stop!” I said as I tried to pull my arm away from him, but his grip was too strong. It felt like he was about to break my bones.

“Shut up!” he bit out as he continued to drag me along in the direction he wanted us to go. I was shocked. Jae Joong had never spoken in such a tone before.