Chapter 61: I Wanna Hold You

Tonight, we were sitting next to TVXQ, and the guys adjusted themselves so that Jae Joong could sit beside me.

“You look absolutely hot tonight,” he whispered in my ear.

“You’re not too bad yourself,” I smiled.

TVXQ was dressed in variations of cream-colored leather outfits tonight. Jae Joong and Chang Min were dressed in trench coats, Jun Su and Yun Ho in sport jackets, and Yoo Chun’s looked more like a biker’s jacket, and it made him look a little wild, especially with his really short hair.

“Can I go home with you tonight?” Jae Joong asked me, as he caught my hand in his.

“What do you plan to do at my place?”

“I dunno,” he smiled. “Ravish you?”

Sometimes, I feel that it’s a shame Jae Joong didn’t know how to wink. But if he did, I couldn’t imagine the additional impact that such words would have on me when they came from his lips. I can still remember back when Yun Ho said such things to me; they always caused shivers to run down my spine. When Jae Joong said such stuff, it made me feel hot and bothered. It made me want to grab him and just head home. While Yun Ho used facial expressions to add impact to his words, Jae Joong relied solely on the words and the tone of his voice, and that was all he needed to get to me.

“Kim Jae Joong,” I exclaimed at him. I could feel my face turning red.

“What?” he grinned innocently as his fingers caressed the back of my hand.

Tonight’s event was action packed and thoroughly enjoyable. All our performances went on without the glitch. I had 2 performances that night; one with S-Cube and Jun Jin, and one with Jae Joong, where we sang ‘Cassiopeia’, a song made famous by Rain and Lim Jeong Hee. We couldn’t have looked more contrasting that night. He looked like a white knight, while I looked almost dark and evil with my all black outfit. I guess it suited our image to the TVXQ fans. To them, I would always be the evil witch who stole Jae Joong from them.

The highlight of the night was Super Junior’s crazy rendition of D12’s ‘My Band’. Their crazy antics, throughout the song, had us all in stitches by the end of the song. Even their costumes were hilarious, as they tried to parody D12 by wearing over-the-top rapper outfits.

S-Cube managed to bag the Best Song award for ‘Ghosts’. The highlight of the night, as usual, was the Daesang. This year, it was presented by Kwon Sang Woo.

“Any guesses from the audience?” he smiled as he ripped the envelope open.

“Dong Bang Shin Ki!” we could hear the fans scream from the audience.

“Mwo?” Kwon Sang Woo said as he put his hand behind his ear.

“Dong Bang Shin Ki!” the fans screamed again. The TVXQ fans dominated the audience population, as they had at all the other awards.

“The winner of this year’s Daesang is…” Kwon Sang Woo announced. “Dong Bang Shin Ki!”

As soon as he read out the winner, the auditorium practically shook with the cheers of the audience. I turned to Jae Joong and pulled him over to kiss him on the lips.

“Ch’uk’ahamnida,” I smiled as I pulled away.

“Komawo,” he smiled back at me as he started to get up from his seat.

TVXQ waved at the audience, and were hugged by everyone they walked past, on the way up to the stage. They reached the center of the stage and Yoo Chun accepted the award from Kwon Sang Woo.

“Ch’uk’ahamnida,” Kwon Sang Woo said as he gave them each a quick hug and a pat on the back.

“Kamsahamnida!” Yoo Chun shouted into the microphone and the audience cheered.

“We’d like to thank SM, Lee Soo Man sonsaengnim, our manager, the coordinators, London Pride, and all those who’ve supported us. Kamsahamnida!” Yoo Chun said.

“We’d also like to thank our family and friend who’d supported us throughout our very busy year. Saranghamnida,” Jae Joong said, and he did our little sign for my benefit. Our eyes met when he did it, and I smiled and signed back discreetly.

“To our fans! Thank you for sticking by us no matter what,” Yun Ho said. “Saranghamnida!” he added, eliciting screams from the fans.

“Please continue to love us!” Jun Su shouted, and the fans cheered.

“And don’t forget… to all the members of TVXQ,” Chang Min smiled. “Saranghamnida!” he said, and they group hugged on the stage.

I think this is one of the things that endeared TVXQ to everyone; the fact that they were so close, and that they really loved each other like brothers. It was heart warming to see that they didn’t just view each other as members of the band that they had to work with, but as family. They did not have to pretend to be united and close, because that was exactly how they were when out of the public eye.

“What are you thinking about?” Jae Joong asked me as he drove me home after the awards.

“Nothing,” I smiled, as I turned away from the window to look at him.

“You didn’t answer my question,” he said.

“Huh? Did you ask me something?”

“I did,” he said.

“I didn’t hear you.”

“You were ignoring me,” he grumbled.

“I honestly did not hear you say a thing,” I said.

“You never pay attention to me,” he continued to grumble.

“Jae Joong… I really did not hear you. I wasn’t ignoring you,” I said, and I’d started to sound a little exasperated

“Okay, I didn’t,” he laughed.

“You didn’t what?” I looked at him. I was getting more and more confused by the minute. I was tired, and he sure was messing around with my head.

“I didn’t say anything. I was just kidding about the question thing,” he laughed.

“Yah!” I exclaimed, and I smacked his thigh. “You think it’s funny?”

“Yea,” he laughed. “I had you there for a minute.”

“Pabo,” I smiled.

“Keurae,” he smiled. “Pabo... chintcha pabo.”

“Yah!” I yelled at him.

“I meant that I was a fool for you,” he added.

“What’s with you tonight?” I asked him.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re mushy and romantic and a little high,” I laughed.

“It’s that dress of yours,” he said.

“Is this the first time you’ve seen me in a dress?”

“No. But since I missed my chance during the MKMF, this time I’m not gonna miss it,” he smiled suggestively.

“Miss what?” I asked him.

“Taking it off you,” he said, as if it were the most normal thing to say.

“You’re not coming up with me tonight,” I said, as I looked at him, aghast.

“You said I could,” he pouted.

“I’ve changed my mind,” I said as I stuck my tongue out at him.

“You can’t just do that!” he exclaimed.

“Why not?”

“You’ll hurt my fragile ego,” he said as his free hand grabbed mine and clutched it to his chest.

“Nonsense,” I laughed.

“I’m gonna be really devastated,” he sniffed.

“Good,” I said. “Then you can write more songs about being hurt and broken-hearted. It’ll be your source of inspiration.”

“Shiro,” he pouted.

“You’re not coming up,” I said, and I ignored him after that.

We pulled into the compound below my apartments, and instead of stopping below my building, he drove on to park his car where he usually would. I got out of the car and started walking quickly towards my building.

“No point running,” he shouted calmly after me. “I know the code to your door,” he said and he gave a sinister laugh.

He caught up with me as I was waiting for the elevator and he put his arm around my waist and pulled me towards him tightly.

“Let go,” I laughed.

“Andoe,” he laughed, still maintaining the sinister tone.

“Pyeont’ae!” I exclaimed, and the guard started giving us weird looks. Jae Joong smiled sweetly at the guard and frowned at me.

“Yah! You want me to get arrested or something?” he whispered.

“You should be,” I said. “Pyeont’ae.”

“Shh…” he covered my mouth. I hadn’t bothered keep my voice down, and the guard was glaring at us again.

The elevator finally arrived and Jae Joong quickly dragged me in and closed the door.

“Pyeont’ae?” he said menacingly as he pinned me to the wall in the elevator with his body against mine.

“Pyeont’ae…” I repeated after him, in a half whisper, and I laughed.

“Araso… Whatever you say,” he smiled, and he cut my laughter off with a kiss.

As soon as his lips touched mine, we kissed urgently, as if we’d been waiting a lifetime for that kiss. Actually, we’ve been waiting for 2 weeks for that kiss. Since I was holed up in the hospital for the past fortnight, we weren’t really able to do anything like that.

“Cameras,” I breathed, as soon as he pulled away.

“What?” he panted, as his lips lingered on mine.

“There’s a camera in this elevator,” I giggled.

“Oh,” he smiled.

The doors opened on my floor and we stumbled out, our arms around each other, as we continued kissing. I pulled away for a moment to unlock the door, and we resumed as we inched our way along the walls, towards my room. Once in my room, I slipped my hands in at the waistband of his pants and pulled out his shirt, our lips still not leaving each other’s. Skye and Shoei had gone off with the other guys to celebrate the end of the awards season, and they won’t be home for another 2 hours, at least.

“Lie down,” he said as he gently guided me back until I fell on my bed.

I lay on my bed and watched as he took off his shirt. My heart was racing as I watched him, and after he’d taken off his shirt, he leaned on the bed, above me, his body not touching mine, his hands on either side of my head, supporting his weight.

“What do you want to do now?” he asked me.

I looked up at his face, and I kept my eyes on his eyes, not breaking my gaze as I trailed a finger from his chest all the way to his abdomen, stopping just above his pants.

“Why don’t you take mine off first,” I said, without a smile, without any change in my expression. I just said it, like an order, and Jae Joong closed his eyes, as if he were savoring my words.

“Are you sure?” he said.

“Nae,” as I continued to gaze into his eyes.

“You’re burning a hole in my soul with those eyes,” he smiled as he pulled me up, and sat down beside me. “Turn around,” he said, and I complied.

Jae Joong pushed my hair aside, and started to unbutton the mock collar I wore. As the buckle came undone, he kissed the back of my neck where the buckle had been, and I shivered with pleasure. He put down the collar, and turned his attention back to my back, as he slowly planted soft kisses down my spine. His fingers came to the side of the top I wore, and he slowly dragged the zip downwards. As my skin was exposed, he continued planting kisses along my spine. I raised my arms, and he pulled my top upwards, to take it off; I still didn’t turn around to face him. He ran his hand down my back, then his tongue came to trace a line down my spine, when he reached the bottom, he gently blew on the spot he’d licked, and this time, from the bottom to the top.

“Jae Joong,” I whispered. I felt pleasured, and I felt tormented. He was taking his time with me, even though we’d been waiting for so long for this.

His arms came around me, as he gathered me against his chest. I could feel his skin against mine now, his chest felt warm and heavenly against my bare back.

“Saranghae,” he whispered, and he kissed me behind my ear.

“Saranghae,” I said, as I closed my eyes.

I woke up hours later, to the sounds of Skye and Shoei coming in the front door.

“Shh…” I could hear Shoei tell Skye, who tended to be a little loud when he was tipsy.

“You actually think they’re asleep?” Skye attempted to whisper, but ended up saying it loudly anyway.

“I don’t know,” Shoei whispered. “Just try not to make so much noise.”

Eventually, they got into their own rooms and the corridor was quiet once more.

I turned to look at Jae Joong, who was sleeping with his arms and legs thrown across my body. I pulled up the blankets to cover our bare shoulders. The weather was still a little chilly, and I marveled at how he could sleep without any clothes on and not feel the cold. I guess that guys just slept like logs, and when they slept, nothing could interfere with their sleep. I reached out my hand to trail my finger down his cheek, and I lightly touched the birthmark under his chin.

Sometimes I wondered if my luck would ever run out. Here I am, living my dream; having the career I wanted and dating the man of my dreams. There were days when I woke up and wondered if my life for the past 2 years had really been nothing but a dream. During those mornings when I woke up with Jae Joong beside me, I felt the most assured, because there he was, flesh and blood, and he loved me. Surreal, but it was the fact.

Jae Joong’s eyes slowly opened, and he smiled as he stretched.

“Ready for the next round,” he smiled, as he tightened his arms around my waist.

“I’m sleepy,” I said as I closed my eyes, and pretended to snore.

“Even better,” he said. “Now I can do whatever I want.”

And he did just that… almost. I’m still in charge when I want to be, and he complied willingly, more often than not.