Wednesday, 18 July 2007

Chapter 104: I Wanna Hold You

After the course of meat, where mine was the beef roll, we had the last dish, ‘one bite of fragrance’. According to Vanness, it was a dish raved about by all the celebrities that have come here.

“I can never get tired of this,” Yuk Hee said as she chewed her ‘one bite of fragrance’.

“You’d have to be able to afford it in the first place before you can say that,” Vanness commented.

“Oh, believe me,” I said. “She can…”

“Come on Skye… don’t say that.”

“You’re richer than I am, that’s for sure,” I said.

“I am not… your dad is doing as well as mine is,” I protested.

“Okay… I get it… the two of you are well-off. Stop bragging,” Vanness cut in, laughing. “So what does Yuk Hee means?”

“Huh?” Yuk Hee responded.

“You name sounds like it has a meaning to it…” he explained.

“I’ll tell you…” I said. “It’s really a no-brainer.”

“Yah!” Yuk Hee poked me.

“She’s the 6th child in her family. So ‘yuk’ is six and ‘hee’ comes from ‘hwan hee’, which means delight. The 6th delight,” I said as I gestured at Yuk Hee by waving my hand in flourish as if I’d just performed a magic trick.

“Thanks a lot,” she said as she smacked my outstretched hand.

“Really? Is that really what your name means?” Vanness asked Yuk Hee.

“Yes…” she said, grudgingly now that the secret is out.

“And I thought only the Chinese named their kids with such old fashioned names,” he laughed. “Especially with numbers.”

“I usually have a much sophisticated explanation for it, but since Skye beat me to it this time, there is no point in trying to salvage my pride.”

“It’s a beautiful name,” Vanness said. “If you translated it phonetically into Chinese, ‘yuk’ could be jade… and ‘hee’ is still happiness. Still a little old fashioned, but nonetheless a beautiful name.”

“You’re old fashioned in 2 languages!” I exclaimed. “What other name could be that?” I cackled.

“Your name isn’t that glamorous either, Kyu Jin,” she retorted.

“Yah… nothing beats Yuk Hee… except for Sam Soon,” I laughed.

“Shikkeureoptta!” she said and pretended to ignore me.

I’d almost forgotten how much fun it was to tease a girl. Not having nuna or Hae Rin around for the last 2 weeks really made life boring. Good thing Yuk Hee showed up today to help kill my boredom.

“So how long will you be here, Skye?” Yuk Hee asked me as Vanness drove us home.

“I finish my CF filming tomorrow and I’m heading back for about a week to promote a new single.”

“You’re going back? I’ve been waiting to see if there was anyone flying back so that I could tag along. I hate flying alone. Can I come with you?”

“Sure, why not?” I said.

“How about you, Vanness? Are you going with him?”

“No… I need to film my part of the CF. Maybe after our collaboration is over, I can follow him back to Seoul for a short break.”

“That’s great.”

“So you’re coming with me?”

“Think I can get on the same flight as you?”

“Probably,” I said. “I’ll get the PA to help book your ticket.”

“Komawo,” she said.

[Sierra’s POV]

Today we’re filming the indoor scenes for the MVs. The set was this beautiful house in the countryside; long glass windows, French doors, filmy curtains, and modern furniture.

“Wow…” I said as I walked in with Yun Ho behind me. “When would I be able to afford a house like this?”

“You probably can afford it now, with a loan and all, but it wouldn’t be convenient to live out here and commute into the city each day,” he smiled.

“When I’m a huge star, I’ll move here,” I smiled.

We changed into our first set of costumes for today; pajamas. The first scene was a bedroom scene. Not the steamy bedroom scene, but the kind of playful and sweet morning-after situation. The both of us got into the double bed, and I immediately pulled the covers up.

“Cold?” Yun Ho asked me.

“Yea… this pajama is so thin,” I replied.

It was almost summer, but not quite yet, and the weather in the countryside tends to be a little cooler, especially since it was about 6am. We’ve traveled here from the city at about 5am so that we could catch the morning light for the first scene.

“Yun Ho,” the director called out. “Lie back on the pillow with your arm stretched out… yes like that. And Sierra, you lie on his arm, but move nearer so that you’re almost lying on his chest. That’s right.”

For the first scene of the day, the director wanted us to wake up together, slowly, then interact like a couple in the early, passionate stage of their relationship.

I opened my eyes slowly and stretched languorously as I turned to look at Yun Ho. He was still sleeping. I got up a little and leaned over him, kissed him lightly on the nose and quickly lay back down to pretend that I was asleep. Yun Ho’s eyes fluttered open and he turned slowly to look at me, and smiled to himself. He pulled me close and started to nuzzle my neck deliberately, causing me to giggle and try to pull away.

I thought that this whole scene would make us uncomfortable, but somehow it didn’t. It wasn’t like I was acting, but rather I just told myself at this moment, Yun Ho was my boyfriend. He would be my boyfriend here, in this house, and when we went back to Seoul, it would all be back to normal. I don’t know how he’s coping with this, but his actions felt very natural. It was as if we’d never been apart.

The little ‘scuffle’ continued and ended with Yun Ho pinning me down on the bed, my giggles dying off, and he leaned in for a long lingering kiss. I’d almost forgotten how he kissed. He was always strong and demanding when he kissed, but at the same time, he was gentle and playful, but always controlled. Jae Joong was slow and romantic, but he could get rough and wild depending on his mood; it takes very little for me to get him into that mood. With Yun Ho, I usually had to really tease him, to get him to loose control and give in to the mood totally.

The camera stopped rolling and Yun Ho pulled away slowly, but you can tell that his lips lingered for a moment, then he rolled off me and moved to the side of the bed. He was shirtless and only wearing a pair of boxers.

“We need that last bit again,” the director said. “You went too quickly into the kiss, Yun Ho. Let’s take it from you pinning her down.”

I lay back down on the exact spot and Yun Ho came back on top of me to pin me down by imprisoning my wrists against the pillow. When the director yelled ‘Action!’, he started leaning in again, and my eyes focused on his as his face closed in and my eyelids slowly closed as his lips touched mine.

The earlier kiss felt innocent enough, despite us acting out the passion, but this kiss felt a bit more real coming from Yun Ho. I lifted my hands up to touch his face and to put it behind his neck and pull him closer to deepen the kiss. After a few seconds, he pulled away and as he moved away, he was breathing quicker and his eyes were glazed with passion. I remember that look, and seeing his expression now brought me back to more than a year ago, when we were still together.

I closed my eyes and just lay back on the pillow when the director yelled, ‘Cut!’. This was becoming pretty annoying; this constant merry-go-round and going back and forth to revisit the past and comparing it with the present. I was tired of questioning my feelings again and again. It was obvious that there was still spark between Yun Ho and myself, but to go back would be impossible since I did love Jae Joong, and I didn’t want to harm the relationship they had. Once was enough. It might not survive a second time.

Yun Ho was silent for most of the time after that scene, and I didn’t try to make conversation with him like I always did. I knew he was mulling over the same thing I was, and I did not want to be the one to dig a confession out of him. I used to feel tensed and uncomfortable around him, but these days, I was starting to get used to it. I guess it comes from living together. You eventually deal with the awkwardness and get over it.

It wasn’t until the scene where we were supposed to be watching the television together that he loosened up. We curl up in the couch in front of the television; a bowl of popcorn in my arms and his arm slung around my shoulder as I fed him popcorn.

“Okay… you’re watching a romantic movie now, lean in, look blissfully happy,” the director said, and I lay my head on Yun Ho’s shoulder and tried to look dreamy.

“Scary movie now… look scared,” the director instructed, and I hid behind Yun Ho’s sleeve while he looked at the screen looking a little tense.

When we looked through the shot with the director, I couldn’t help but laugh at the expression Yun Ho made in the scene. He looked a little too petrified.

“Okay… it’s a funny movie now… laugh…” the director said.

It was a little weird but we had to laugh, so we started laughing awkwardly, but because our awkward laughs sounded so funny, we started laughing for real, to the point where Yun Ho couldn’t stop and rolled onto the floor. The whole set was laughing with us when the cameras stopped rolling, mainly because Yun Ho had fallen off the couch.

“What’s wrong with you?” I giggled.

“I don’t know,” he said as he tried to control his laughter.

“This is like when Sung Min couldn’t stop crying for that Goong parody,” I said.

“I just feel bursts of laughter coming, and I can’t stop them,” he said, his laughter finally under control.

“You’re a little kooky today, you know?” I smiled.

“I know…” he smiled.

The final couch scene was a popcorn fight. It started with Yun Ho flicking a popcorn at my face. I turned to glare at him, and he flicked another at me. I threw the popcorn I was holding at him, and he calmly flicked another back at me, then I stood up and poured the entire bowl on his head. I started laughing, and he picks up a handful of popcorn and flung it at me. I retaliated with another handful and we were chasing each other around the living room with popcorn until the director yelled, ‘Cut!’.

“Good job,” he said as we walked towards him.

“Komapseumnida,” I said.

“The both of you have very good screen chemistry,” he said. “Ever considered filming a drama together?”

“Us?” Yun Ho said.

“I don’t think so. We hardly have time with all the promotional events.”

“But you’ll never know if the management has already been planning something like that,” Yun Ho said.

“And I think after they see this MV, they might consider it,” the director added.

“Hmm…” I smiled. “I think it’s just helpful that he and I are friends. It feels more natural as opposed to acting when you’re with a friend, since you’re comfortable. Isn’t it?”

“Could do the opposite,” the director said. “I’ve seen some kasu get self-conscious because they are filming with a person who knows them.”

“The person is probably not a close friend,” I smiled.

“I guess so,” the director said.

We’re filming the final scene of the day, which will also be the final scene in the Ice Box video.

Yun Ho walked slowly towards the desk and he saw a book on it. He picked it up and studied it, and noticed that a page was marked with a piece of paper. He removed the piece of paper and read it. As he read, a voice over I’d done earlier was played.

Yun Ho… I know this is hard for you, but you have to trust me. Please read this page. It’s really important.

He sighed and opened the page of the book to read it. His expression got more and more somber as he read.

Friday
Tomorrow… I have one more day. We’re lazing around at home tonight, watching TV, tossing popcorn around. Today, everything about him was beautiful to me; his laughter, his smile, his voice. I wanted to remember them forever. I want them imprinted in my mind so that in my next life, I’d be able to find him, wherever I am.

Saturday
Tonight… tonight I have to kill him. But how do you kill someone who is already a part of you without killing yourself? I love him. It’s too late now, and I love him.
Because I love him… it will be my life for his.


After the last line, he dropped the book and stared forlornly ahead, then he sank to the floor, buried his face in his hands and started crying. I watched him as he cried, and he really did look like he was in pain. How many times had Yun Ho cried like this in his life? What kind of pain would have caused such sorrow in a person as strong as himself? As he continued to sob, I walked forward towards him, into the view of the camera. I knelt down next to him, his back was facing me, and I hugged him.

I hugged him, and I rubbed my hands up and down him arm.

“Kwaench’ana,” I whispered as I continued to hold him.

I could feel his body shaking from the sobbing, and though I knew he had just gotten into character, I could feel that part of it was him actually releasing his own sorrows. I closed my eyes and hugged him tightly, and that was when I felt my own tears flowing down my cheeks.

9 comments:

Danita said...

Kyu Jin hehehe

I can probably tell what Yunho's thinking at this point:

*in a Yunho-ish thought voice* I may not have a chance to relive these days ever again. I have to have her with me, I love her so much!

I feel like crying with Yunho though. I can just feel that he's making the best of what he's lost.

Sierra, you teaser! XD

jishin said...

Really, I felt a pinch in my heart when I read about YunHo crying T_________T I believe he must be in immense misery whenever he has to relive the past only to realise it's the present =( *sighs*

Aww please make him move on yeah? Or at least relieve him of his pain through some ways! =)

But it was not totally sad, but more of bittersweet! And I actually laughed a bit at the part they were watching the 'scary' movie and YunHo looked petrified! LOL~! XDDD

Anyway Skye and Vanness' part at the restaurant was light-hearted and animated! ^^ Haha...So Yuk Hee's gonna go to Seoul with Skye? Hmm I wonder if this will result in any misunderstanding between Skye and Hae Rin?

Hee lookin' forward to your update yo~!

FIGHTING~~~!!! ^0^

gwiazdka said...

omg, it was so sad... my hear aches when i read about Yunho like this. cause it's not only the acting... *sniff sniff*
it's touching, i really like this one Sierra. thanks ^^

stephie said...

omg. T_T It must be so tough for him. Poor Yunho. this collaboration is torturing him emotionally. reading about him crying made my eyes water a little bit. eventhough this is kinda reliving it. hopefully he gets better. like after this they leave things behind for real. because it's so depressing!! T__T

missed to comment on the last chap.. mianhe! ah.. yuk hee.. childhood friend.. skye.. scandalicious. haha. so what role will she play? cant wait to read!!

love the vanness-skye-bickering. so cute. they are great partners. haha. so skye is going back already?

great chaps~ ^^

lanyh said...

It must be kinda difficult for Yunho to act such scenes. And I wonder if Jaejoong will get a bit jealous if he sees the MV.

GOT MANDY? ^^ said...

lan anh!
i had the exact same thought as you!
while reading the whole yunho and sierra's scene i keep thinking "woah! this must have been very difficult for yunho, cos we all know he still have some feeling for her there."><
and yea i really am wonder how jae feels when he sees this MV!!

oooh sh!t! dont tell me there will be another drama between skye, hare rin and yuk hee =_=
they going back to Seoul together like that....will hae rin get jaelous?? 0_0

시에라 (Sierra) said...

I know how bad everyone feels for Yun Ho, but like real life... these things don't just get solved with a change of the plot. I don't think Jae will be all that jealous, but a tad uncomfortable, but what can he do? We've all chosen this path... T_T There will be a resolution, and it could end with me being with Jae, me being with Yun Ho, me being with someone else, or even me being alone. But the last 2 are highly unlikely since that would mean cutting TVXQ out of the picture. So we'll have to see how things get solved eventually. I still love Yun Ho though... that's the hardest bit...

Skye, Hae Rin & Yuk Hee... interesting... hehehe... still don't really know what Yuk Hee will be doing, but she'll have a role for sure.

Read on!!!

~*EcHanTsY*~ said...

this chapter was a lot of things. so much emotion. so many memories. sometimes when i read, it's like I'm seeing these events unfold through your eyes.

To be honest I got bored with the food descriptions, and the savouring. i think that was a bit drawn out.

what this "fragrance"? I'm curious about that.

So is YukHee gonna be with Vanness. cuz he's flirting with her :P I forsee problems with HaeRin and YukHee. and we all know HaeRin has a jealous streak, and won't stand by and let skye be taken from her. maybe she'll come to you for advice? that would be amusing.

it's cruel the way you're treating yunho. ah to kiss someone you didn't break up with properly and loved, and to know this person couldn't be yours again. torture. Those tears at the end, ah, gut wrenching.

but I do think that this may bring closure for Yunho. Sorta a goodbye to all those emotions.

시에라 (Sierra) said...

The 'one bite of fragrance' is a dish... which was my bad, for not elaborating what it was, cos I didn't have time to read up on it... but I've heard about it, and it's supposed to ne a bite of heaven. The food bit... hehe... I personally love teppanyaki... it's delicious food... I probably didn't do a good job decribing it... :P I was trying to take the focus away from Korea a little... Skye was in Taiwan... so I wanted to write about some stuff unique to Taiwan... so... I'd better get more research done before I write stuff like that in future... I'm not proud when I improvise and skimp like that T_T

Points taken... and will be improved on :)