Every
single day, we humans communicate to get by in our lives. Asking for
directions, requesting a service, discussion at work and even greeting people
we meet. But are there times, where there are things better left unsaid? If you
refrain from speaking your thoughts, would it result in a breakdown in
communication?
I am by
nature, a communicative person. I love speaking to people, and I appreciate it
greatly when people reciprocate. But there are those times where you feel that
what you are about to say may:
1.
Upset
the person
2.
Fall
on deaf ears or be ignored
3.
Cause
the opposite effect that you wish to have
Basically,
the above sums up to the other person possibly not wanting to hear you out, or
perhaps the words you have said did not strike a positive chord with them. But
even if this is about to happen, should we forgo the communication, and just
let the thought sit and fester in our minds? My answer, after my experiences,
is ‘No’.
I have
learned in my years that letting thoughts fester in your heart and mind is the
worst way to go about things. First of all, it makes you unhappy, because the
other person doesn’t know how you feel. Eventually, your unhappiness seeps out
of your being, bit by bit, into your actions, you words, your expressions. You
may not even mean or wish to communicate that unhappiness, but somehow it just
finds a way to spread out and poison your whole being, and the result of this
may probably be as bad as if you’d said it out in the first place.
Why do
we hold back? Most of us are afraid of souring or damaging the relationship we
have with the people around us. Hence, we keep things to ourselves because we
think it would be best left unsaid. But as the process I mentioned above takes
place. You will find that perhaps it would have been better to have just found
a sincere and tactful way to communicate the thought to begin with, since you
were going to ultimately end up souring the relationship with your sour
attitude.
If someone was making you sad, hurting you or
even putting you down way too often by being condescending and insensitive… you
need to tell them. Everyone deserves respect, and a chance to explain their
actions. If they have no good explanation, then you will know that you’d been
worrying about losing something that you didn’t need to keep in the first
place. Even in a professional setting, being forthright could mean making your
days at the office much more bearable because you have set things right with
certain people.
After
all that’s being said, I think the key to effective communication is courage.
Having the strength in you to believe that your loved one will understand your
innermost feelings and having the courage to know when your feelings and
opinions are not appreciated, which may bring you to a point where you need to
reevaluate your relationships with the people you fail to communicate with.
As the above
image suggests, the same applies to a professional setting too. Being suitably
vocal in the workplace and for your career is important because being able to
get your points across is important to ensure that you are understood, and you
can perform your job well. Conquering personal barriers to become an effective
communicator is a lifelong lesson. No one is born an effective communicator. We
all learn by trial and error. The key is to not let the errors scare you from
trying again until you find the best approach to get through to the intended
party.
The
final thing that we need to note when communicating any dreaded thoughts would
be… to listen. Listen to what the other party has to say for themselves, about
you. Why? Because at the end of the day, communication is a two-way process.
When communication only happens in one direction, the other party deems it as…
nagging.. imposing your opinions... :P Get your point across, and try to consider what they have to say
too. If you can learn to do that effectively all the time, you will never have
to hold back and keep anything to yourself ever again.
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