Tuesday, 26 February 2013

To be impeccable...

I completed Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements in one day, and I’m reading it all over again. This book has really struck a chord with me, and it has really spoken to me. As the title suggests, there are 4 agreements that make up the structure of the key message of this book.

The Four Agreements are:

1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best

Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Perhaps it is because of the book’s philosophical nature and also because it was written in a way where I felt as if the book was speaking to me. I sat up and paid attention, page after page. But most of all, from the moment I started reading it, I began to feel different.

The first thing I noticed was the way my body and mind started to feel calm. As I read on, and further understood what the book was trying to convey, I began to relate each idea with my life. I realised how much injustice I had been doing myself all this time. I had been reliving my past mistakes, judging myself all over again for each and every one of them, and punishing myself over and over again.

The worst thing is that the way I have been treating my loved ones have stemmed from my self-condemnation and fear. My fear that I would be loved less for being me caused me to behave the way I did; insecure, fearful and small. I belittled the person I was, and the person I could become, and I allowed negative comments from people, whether or not they were meant out of good or harm, to affect me greatly; sometimes without even considering if they were indeed true.

I also chanced upon a site ( http://www.toltecspirit.com/ ) by Gary van Warmerdam, and in his article “Be Impeccable with Your Word”, he said:

“To live with existing fears in your mind doesn’t fall into the category of being impeccable. Maintaining fears of public speaking, asking someone out on a date, or a fear of failing is not in the direction of love for your self. Keeping your self in fear is an ongoing expression in your own mind that causes you to hold back in your actions of love for your self and others. Fear is at the heart of NOT being impeccable.”

I had not been impeccable all this time, for I had not been able to free myself from the fears that stemmed from guilt and self-condemnation.

Moving forward, I will probably be working on a few pieces that I have been avoiding all this time. They involve telling the story of my pain; pain that I had been unwilling to put on paper because I was afraid that it could hurt me again… even if they were just words on paper. But I believe that if I can take the step to face the pain, I will sooner be able to release it, and move on with my life. Once I free myself from this past, I will be on my way to a brighter future.

The message I would like to bring across to those who are reading today is that I hope each person can come to truly appreciate themselves as they are, and be confident that they are worthy of ‘living in heaven’, i.e. to be happy. If you truly think you can improve yourself, go ahead and make that improvement. Do your best! Whatever you become, or whatever you remain as, could probably be the person you were meant to be. When you reach that checkpoint, tell yourself:

“This is the best I can be now, and I am happy because I performed to the best of my ability.”

Only you know who you really are and whether or not you are doing your very best to be true to yourself. If we learn to come to terms with our natural and true selves, at some point, we will come to realise that we become so happy and at peace with ourselves, that even if we were experiencing extreme fatigue, all we want to do is SMILE :)

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