The Honeymoon's Over?

At some point in time, all romantic relationships wind down a little, and it signifies what people call the end of the ‘honeymoon period’. The undying urge to see each other, be with each other and talk for hours has diminished. And both parties are supposed to take comfort in knowing that while all things are reduced, it does not signify a deterioration of the relationship.

But sometimes, we have an issue of onlookers and some people with ‘well-intentions’ offering you feedback. Feedback like, “Oh, the first 6 months are supposed to be the sweetest.” Or even, “You boyfriend should do this for you still. It’s too soon to wanna stop.” While they were indeed sincerely giving well-meant opinions based on their experiences, we gotta remember the key word will always be “their experiences”. When these words stir up insecurities within you, you have got to remember that, it’s all about their experiences, and nothing to do with what you are experiencing.

Each relationship has a different speed of development, whether it is due to the characters of the couple, or circumstances. Hence, never judge this relationship in relation to other relationships. Sit down and think about the way your relationship had developed, and remind yourself of all the milestones you have achieved together so far. But in any case, the best thing you can do is to discuss it.

Sometimes, this happens when either party has become burnt out, and needs to reduce efforts. Sometimes it happens because either party has gotten comfortable enough to not require so much contact to feel involved in the relationship. Whatever the reason is, it will be good to discuss the situation and assure the more active party that the relationship is not deteriorating. While contact may have been reduced, it doesn’t mean they are not being thought of or cared about. Try to come to a middle ground or even discuss how the active party can be helped to be transitioned into a ‘slow-down’ state. Once this effort is made, the situation will have a chance of calming down and the relationship can proceed in peace.

To assume, is one of human’s most common mistakes. When you assume the other person understands, or even they know you still care for or love them, it’s creating opportunity for misunderstanding to occur. I'd like to call it, 'assumption begets assumption'. If you assume they know you care, they may assume you don't really care. So some things do need to be said. For the sake of clarity and making sure all bases are covered, you need to be vocal about it so that the other party will have no chance to feel insecure by a sudden or even gradual change in your attitude.

While each person is ultimately responsible for handling their own insecurities, we should still do our best to help the person we love or care for to feel better so that they can be encouraged to overcome it. This is by no means coddling the person. Encouragement is the best thing you can give anyone feeling negative. They are seeds to help a person start growing positive thoughts.

Open, honest and willing communication can solve a lot of problems. So if we take the time to air our feelings in an honest and caring manner, we would eventually come to understand each other better, and allow the relationship to grow :)