Chapter 67: Warning

We’re back in the studios on Monday, and from the looks people have been giving me, I knew that I wasn’t a pretty sight. I’d been crying the whole night, and my eyes were probably swollen and red.

“Nuna,” Shoei had called out in a concerned tone as he knocked on my door. “Open up.”

“I’m fine. Just leave me alone,” I said as I continued sobbing silently.

“Open up, come on,” he said, not giving up until I finally did.

After I let him in, I just went back to crying into my pillow while Shoei sat on my bed beside me, watching on wordlessly.

“What do you want?” I asked him.

“What happened?” he asked.

“Nothing.”

“Then why are you crying?” he said.

“I really don’t need this now,” I said. “Can you just let me cry in peace?”

“Come here,” he said, and he hugged me.

I sobbed on his shoulder until his shirt was soaked with my tears. Throughout my crying, he just held me silently and stroked my back. When I finally had the crying under control, I knew from the look on his face that he wanted an explanation.

“So what’s this about?” he asked. “What did Jae Joong hyung do this time?”

“I’m just sick of this. I’m sick of the pressure to officially meet his family.”

“Why? What’s the big deal?”

“I know I am officially his girlfriend. I know it’s all over the media and his whole family is aware of my existence, but to meet them, it’s such a big step. And it’s a step I’m not ready to take until we’re getting engaged or something.”

“Then did you tell him?”

“I did. But being Jae Joong, I think he could’ve been offended that I didn’t want to meet his family.”

Shoei sighed, and I gave a little sniff.

“So what are you doing to do now?” he asked me.

“I don’t know.”

Then, Shoei noticed that my phone was buzzing. He picked it up and looked at the caller’s ID.

“It’s Jae Joong hyung,” he said.

“I know.”

“You’re just going to ignore him?”

“Yes.”

“He probably feels sorry. Why don’t you give him a chance to apologise?”

“I don’t feel like talking to him now.”

“You can’t avoid him forever.”

“Then I’ll just avoid him for today,” I replied.

Jae Joong stopped calling after 3 hours, but I didn’t feel any happier about it. After Shoei went to bed that night, I cried a little more, until I fell asleep.

It was a good thing Skye finally got his license. He drove us to the studios this morning.

[Shoei’s POV]

She looked like hell today, but she still looked beautiful to me. There is a beauty in sadness, one that not everyone appreciated. I knew she had been crying after I’d gone to bed, but I didn’t interfere this time. I wanted to let her get it out of her system.

I understood where she was coming from, but I also understand what Jae Joong hyung wanted from her. I’d want the same thing if she were mine. I’d want to bring her back to Kyoto and let my family meet her, to tell them that I had found the girl I wanted to marry. But she wasn’t mine. Could I still have a shot now?

“Sierra,” Shi Kyung hyung called out, and she turned around.

“You’re scheduled to record with Hae Rin on Friday,” he said.

“Okay,” she replied.

“Here are the lyrics, and the demo Hae Rin has already recorded,” he said as he passed her a sheet of paper and a CD.

“You’re doing a duet with her?” I asked her.

“Yea, she asked me a few days back, and I asked her to check with hyung. So I guess she’s gotten a ‘go ahead’ from the management.”
I took the paper out of nuna’s hands and scanned through.

“Hmm… 'Wanna Be'… and it’s a slow song?”

“Hae Rin will debut as a ballad singer,” hyung said. “That’s what I heard.”

“It’ll be only a matter of time before they change her image again,” I said.

“Well, that’s how it is,” hyung said.

“Are we getting a new image?” Skye asked.

“Maybe,” hyung replied.

“I’ve heard rumours that there are plans for nuna to go solo, is it true?” Skye asked.

“How can it be?” she remarked. “There are so many solo female kasu lately, I will be the last choice for a solo career.”

“It’s been discussed, but it would be more of a side project than making her all solo. She will still be in S-Cube,” hyung said.

“Yea, that’s what I heard,” I said.

The rumour had been going on for a long time. That they were going to give nuna a solo project. I knew that nuna was terrified of the idea, because she was somewhat dependent on Skye and I when on stage, but I am certain that she will succeed as a soloist. She has the presence.

“I’m fine with collaborations. I will never go solo,” she said.

“Never say never,” Skye laughed, and nuna made a face at him.

“Let’s get to work,” hyung said, and we walked into the booth to record.

Today, we were recording the title track of our 3rd album, Connect the Dots. It was a fast song with a digital feel.

It starts with nuna saying, “Please connect the dots…” and it will be digitized so that it would sound more like a computer’s voice, and there would be a long succession of beeps. The music started, and I sang the first line.

Shoei: Do you feel confused
Do you feel lost
Do you feel like you’re drowning in the information
Skye: Do you feel hurt
Do you feel devastated
Do you feel like you could die

Sierra: It took you that long
To connect the dots
It took you that long
To realize there was no such thing as everlasting love
[Skye: there was no such thing]
If you weren’t so dense
You might not have gotten hurt

S-Cube: There is no such thing
As a happy ending
There is no such thing
As love forever
There’re no castles built in the air
[Sierra: built in the air]
Sierra: There’re no unicorns, open up your eyes

Shoei: Do you feel the pain
Do you feel the fear
That someday, we’d be lost forever
Skye: Do you feel the ache
Do you feel the longing
Do you feel like this hell would never end

Sierra: It took you that long
To connect the dots
It took you that long
To realize there was no such thing as everlasting love
[Shoei: there was no such thing]
If you weren’t so dense
You might not have gotten hurt

S-Cube: There is no such thing
As a happy ending
There is no such thing
As love forever
There’re no castles built in the air
[Sierra: built in the air]
Sierra: There’re no unicorns, open up your eyes

Sierra: No such thing
As an honest lover
Skye: No such thing
They’d someday love another
Shoei: Open up your eyes
It has been so long
Sierra: That you’ve been, left in the dark.

“Good job,” the producer said as the song ended.

“Komapseumnida,” we said as we put down our headphones and walked out of the booth.

Nuna had sung with extra anger today, and it suited the song. I guess she’s still feeling upset about yesterday. I wonder if Jae Joong hyung had attempted to call her again. She was upset with him, but I know that she was still waiting for him to call. She’d been looking at her mobile phone the entire day.

[Sierra’s POV]

I looked at my phone for the 10th time this morning. I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t help myself. Since last night, Jae Joong had stopped calling, and he didn’t even leave me a text message. Had he given up on me? Was he upset now? I was starting to get annoyed. He was the one who pressured me. He was the one who wouldn’t stop harping on the subject. What did he expect me to do? Did he expect me to just nod and do whatever he wanted?

We went for lunch near the studios, and while we were eating, I was reprimanded by Shi Kyung hyung.

“Stop pushing your food around,” he said. “We can tell how much you’ve not eaten.”

“Huh?” I said, as I looked up at him.

“You need to eat, nuna,” Skye said. “We still have a lot of work ahead of us.”

“I don’t feel like eating, and I need to lose weight anyway. So it’s just as well,” I reasoned.

“No it’s not,” Shoei said. “You’re going to send yourself back to the hospital if you keep this up.”

“Shoei’s right. You’d better finish your food, or I’m going to force feed you myself,” hyung threatened.

I looked at the three of them, who looked back at me expectantly. I sighed in resignation, and I started eating.

“It’ll blow over,” Shoei said as he patted my back, and a single tear rolled down my cheek as I chewed my food with my head down.

That night, we got home around 9pm, and Jae Joong still hadn’t called.

“I’m gonna shower,” I said as I walked almost trance-like to get my stuff and into the bathroom.

I must have spent a little too long spacing out under the torrents of warm water from the shower, because Shoei started to bang on the bathroom door.

“Nuna! Are you alright?” he called out. “Nuna!” he shouted for good measure.

“I’m fine,” I replied. “I’ll be out in a minute.”

I wondered what Jae Joong was doing at this exact moment. Was he upset with me? Or was he just giving me time to cool down? But I was sure that he knew me well enough to know that I don’t need to cool down. I’m the kind of girl who needs immediate attention. Leaving me alone would only fuel my anger, because I’d feel ignored. But this time, it was different. I wasn’t angry, I was sad.

I turned on my laptop after my shower and saw that Jae Joong was online. Should I make the first move? Should I bother to talk to him? Just before I made my decision, he messaged me.

JJ Kim: T_T

I stared at the emoticon for the longest time. Was he that upset? Then why didn’t he call? I typed my reply.

Sierra: What do you want from me?

JJ Kim: T_T

JJ Kim: Shouldn’t that be my question?

Sierra: You didn’t call today. I figured…

JJ Kim: You didn’t answer my calls yesterday. How do you think I felt?

Sierra: I was upset.

JJ Kim: So was I…

Sierra: So what do you want from me? I’ve explained everything.

JJ Kim: I just want you to treat me a little better.

Sierra: Am I not treating you well?

JJ Kim: Sometimes, you’re so adamant about not doing or doing something. It gets frustrating.

Sierra: That’s how I am. You knew from the beginning.

JJ Kim: I thought you might change.

Sierra: You know better… You just need to understand where I’m coming from.

JJ Kim: And what about me? What about my opinions? I may be younger than you are, but do you need to treat me like a child?

Sierra: I’ve never treated you like a child. In fact, sometimes I feel you’re so much more mature than I am.

JJ Kim: Then why don’t you trust me? Why can’t you fulfill just one of my requests?

Sierra: Because that’s the one request I am unable to. Can’t you understand?

JJ Kim: This is going nowhere. I’m going to bed. Bye.

JJ Kim has logged off