Chapter 68: My Destiny

He just went offline and cut me off! How could he? Why is he making such a big deal over a disagreement he’d started? I stalked out of my room and barged into Skye’s, shut the door and threw myself onto his bed.

“Wassup?” he said as he looked up.

“You’re home,” I said.

“Of course I am. Where else would I be?”

“At Hae Rin’s?”

“She’s recording late tonight,” he replied as he tossed aside the manhwa he was reading.

“Hard worker,” I remarked as I flipped around to lie beside him.

“Didn’t we go through the same thing back then?” he said.

“Right…” I sighed.

“Has he called?”

“I talked to him online, and he just logged off halfway through our conversation.”

“Sort of like hanging up on you?” he chuckled.

“Not funny,” I said as I glared at him.

“Alright,” he smiled. “I just think that the 2 of you are blowing this argument way out of proportion.”

“He started it,” I grumbled.

“Why can’t you finish it?” Skye said. “Jae Joong hyung’s always the one apologizing, why can’t you do it this time?”

“Cos it’s so obviously his fault, not mine.”

“Then, all I can say is, just let it blow over,” Skye said.

“It’s taking too long,” I whined.

“It’s only been a day,” he said. “Give him some time.”

I went to bed that night still thinking of the stuff Jae Joong had said. Was I as overbearing as Jae Joong had described me? Did I really want everything to go the way I wanted them to? It’s not as if I’ve never made little sacrifices or given in to him before. I really didn’t want to, but I have a feeling that I was the one who needed to do the groveling this time. I’d told myself I wouldn’t back down, but if Jae Joong wouldn’t too, it could mean the end. I’m not ready to end this relationship yet.

I decided I couldn’t take the cold war anymore the next morning, so I called him during our break.

“Yes?” he said when he answered.

“Recording?” I asked him.

“Yes. Anything important?” he said in an indifferent tone.

“Can you not talk like that?” I said.

“Then how would you have me talk then?” he said. “Like this? ‘Hello darling, you’re not angry with me anymore? I was waiting for you to call. Saranghae.’,” he said in a high pitched and sarcastic tone.

“That was low,” I said sadly.

I guess he was really upset with me. What could I do now? All I could do was apologise.

“Mianhae,” I said.

“What?” he replied.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “Can we stop fighting?”

“And then what? Wait till the next time this crops up, and we fight again? I want a decision from you, Sierra.”

“What decision?”

“Am I permanent in your life, or am I just passing through?”

What sort of question was that? I used to think that I would be the insecure one and I would always question his feelings for me since I was dating Yong-ung Jae Joong of TVXQ. I can’t believe that he was actually questioning my love instead.

“Why would you be just a passerby?” I said. “Do you believe that you could be just a passerby?”

“I’m asking you.”

“You’re Kim Jae Joong. I’ve waited all my life for you. How can I just let you walk past me in this lifetime?” I said softly. “You’re my destiny.”

“Where are you now?” he said, and I told him the floor I was on. “Come out of the studio in 5 minutes.”

I stood outside the studio, and 5 minutes later I could hear foot steps approaching. I looked to my right and saw Jae Joong approaching. He walked up to me, and stood in front of me, just looking at me.

“Mianhae,” I said, and a tear escaped my eye to roll down my cheek.

Jae Joong pulled me to him and hugged me tightly.

“Mianhae,” he whispered into my hair.

I looked up at him, tearfully, and said, “Don’t ever doubt me again, ever. I love you.”

“Ara… I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that,” he said and he kissed my forehead. “Saranghae.”

“Saranghae,” I replied and we hugged again.

“Nuna,” Skye said as he popped his head out of the studio. He grinned broadly when he saw me in Jae Joong’s arms. “We’re starting soon,” he said, and he closed the door.

“Go on,” Jae Joong said. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“Okay,” I smiled, and I kissed him lightly on the lips.

“Come here,” he smiled, and pulled me close to give me a deep kiss.

I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him back with all my heart. It’s only been a few days without him, without him loving me, and I missed him so much. How could he ever think that he was just going to be a phase in my life?

I walked back into the studio a few minutes later to find everyone looking at me with knowing expresssions.

“What?” I said as I held my hands up.

“Nothing,” Skye smiled slyly. “Let’s get to work.”

We were recording another song today, ‘(Why am I) Never Enough'. It seems that we seldom stray from our usual repertoire of sad songs. But if that’s what makes us popular, it’s what the management will have us do, album after album.

This was the song with some oriental flavour that Skye was craving for. Strains of the er-hu can be heard in the background of the introduction, and then it was my turn to sing.

Sierra: It’s just another day, I’ll find another way
To forget you ever existed
There’s a saying that, you just can’t always have
What you want, yeah

Skye: Two steps forward, one step back
Holding on to love
Baby won’t you take it back
Say you’ll stay forever

S-Cube: Watcha gonna do, baby watcha gonna say
When I come back for you, yeah-yeah
Try to be the one but it just gets too tough
Baby why am I never enough

Shoei: No matter what I do, no matter what I say
You never seem to be content
Don’t matter how things go, you want it all your way
You never care how I felt

Sierra: Take my heart and drop me like that
You’re so cold…
But I’ll never ever find another
Love like you… stay!

Skye: The love we had from long ago was timeless
Sierra: But you seem so sure you want it to end
Shoei: Give me a reason or I won’t just step back

S-Cube: Watcha gonna do, baby watcha gonna say
When I come back for you, yeah-yeah
Try to be the one but it just gets to tough
Baby why am I never enough

S-Cube: Watcha gonna do, baby watcha gonna say
When I come back for you, yeah-yeah
Try to be the one but it just gets to tough
Baby why am I never enough

The lyrics for ‘Never Enough' seem so sad, but the tune of the song was actually pretty sweet.

“This song does not sound sad at all,” Skye laughed as soon as the recording ended.

“It’s not supposed to be mournful, just sad,” Shoei commented.

“Yea, whatever. Fun song,” Skye laughed.

“So everything okay with you and Jae Joong hyung now?” Shoei looked at me.

“Yep,” I smiled.

“Then I guess you’re not coming home with us tonight?” Skye teased.

“No. Jae Joong and I have decided to move in together,” I said with a straight face, and I could see Skye and Shoei’s eyes almost popping out of their sockets.

“Chintchayo?” Skye exclaimed.

“Anieyo,” I smiled, and the too of them let out sighs of relief.

“Don’t ever do that again,” Shoei said.

“What did I do? What’s so shocking about me and Jae Joong moving in together?”

“Cos you were fighting like crazy just this morning, and now you’re moving in together?” Skye said. “It would be a little too sudden.”

“Ya… there’s no telling when huge decisions like that are made. They could be spur of the moment decisions,” I reasoned.

“But it would be unlike hyung to make such a decision. For you, maybe, but hyung is more sensible than that,” Shoei smirked.

“Wipe that smirk off your face,” I pointed at him, and he started laughing.

“Shoei’s right,” Skye said as he joined in the laughter. “Jae Joong hyung would never behave as recklessly as you do.”

“I am not reckless,” I pouted.

“If you’re not reckless, then I’m not good looking,” Skye joked.

“But you aren’t the least good looking,” I said cheekily, knowing it would irk him.

“Yah! Nuna! Don’t insult the face my mother gave me. I’m good looking, and I’m irresistible, araji?” he growled.

“Yes,” I smiled. “Say that often enough, and it might come true.”

We walked out of the studios and down to the lobby where Jae Joong was already waiting for me. Most of the time, we waited for him. They must’ve decided to wrap up earlier today.

“You’re early,” I smiled as I gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“I left early. They’re still recording,” he said.

“What for?” I asked him.

“We’ll head home first,” Skye interrupted us. “Bye nuna!”

“Bye,” I waved to Skye and Shoei, and I turned back to Jae Joong. “Why did you leave early?” I asked him.

“To make up for lost time,” he said and he put his arm around me.

“Ya… don’t get sappy on me now,” I smiled as we started walking out of the building.

“I’m not,” he said. “If I recall, someone was even sappier this afternoon,” he chuckled.

“Who?”

“You’re my destiny…” he imitated me.

“That’s not funny,” I said as I smacked his abs lightly. “I was sincere.”

“I know,” he said, and he kissed the top of my head. “So what do you want for dinner?”

“You pick,” I said.

“Are you sure?” he said.

“Yep.”

“Live octopuses?” he said as he raised an eye brow.

“Don’t push it,” I smiled sweetly.

“Hmm… let’s celebrate,” he said. “Let’s go somewhere nice.”

“What is there to celebrate?”

“The fact that we’re still together and that I’m in one piece?” he said.

“You actually think that I might shred you into pieces?”

“Who knows? You girls can get real wild,” he said in suggestive tone, and I pinched his arm.

“P’yeont’ae,” I said.

“Ya… chintcha appu,” he whined, and then he suddenly whirled around.

“What?” I said as I too turned around.

Someone was walking really quickly, trying to catch up with us.

“Oppa! Onni!” she called out. It was Hae Rin.