Chapter 33: Forever

Brian and Hwan Hee arrived 10 minutes after I’d settled down in the studio.

“Yo, Sierra…” Brian drawled as he walked in.

“Brian oppa…” I replied and turned to Hwan Hee, “Hwan Hee oppa.”

“Ya… Sierra. How is it that you get prettier each time we see you?” Hwan Hee smiled.

“Keumanhaseyo,” I said shyly. “I’ve not changed a bit since the last time you saw me.” Brian and Hwan Hee loved to tease me. Brian did it more often, though. Sometimes I feel that the conflicts they had as a duo in the early years made Brian crave for attention, hence, his current attitude.

“So are we ready to start?” Brian asked the producer.

“Just a few more minutes to set up. Why don’t you guys get in the recording booth and warm up?” the producer replied.

We walked into the recording booth and started to do our vocal warm ups. 5 minutes later the producer signaled from the control room that they were ready and we started recording. The song was for a special single to be released during Christmas and true to our musical leanings, it was an R&B love song entitled ‘Crystals of Love’.

Sierra: Remember last winter as we sat in front of the fire
You had your arms around me as we fed our desires
Brian: Remember last winter we’d went out for a walk
As the snow flakes fell you twirled round like a little girl

Sierra: It warms my heart and soul each time I see you
Brian: You have a hold on me, and I can’t fathom it

All: As the crystals of love, they form in our hearts
Glittering, sparkling, bright…
And these crystals of love, will forever be
A testament of you and me

Sierra: Remember last Christmas as we were about to part
You held my hand and told me that you’d never forget
Hwan Hee: I’ll never forget the way you felt as we danced
Your softness, your gracefulness, forever burned in my mind

Sierra: I burn up inside each time you touch me
Hwan Hee: You’re best thing that has ever happened to me

All: As the crystals of love, they form in our hearts
Glittering, sparkling, bright…
And these crystals of love, will forever be
A testament of you and me

Hwan Hee: There isn’t a moment that would I regret
Sierra: If there were the possibility we’d never met
Brian: I’d search for you till the ends of the world, ooh
Hwan Hee & Brian: I would find you baby, and kept you close
Sierra: Forever…

All: As the crystals of love, they form in our hearts
Glittering, sparkling, bright…
And these crystals of love, will forever be
A testament of you and me

Hwan Hee: A testament of you and… me…
Brian: I love you, baby
Merry Christmas

“Good take,” the producer said as soon as we’d ended our recording for the morning. And since it was a success, we got to go for an early lunch. During lunch at a nearby restaurant, Hwan Hee pointed to the television.

“Sierra, it’s your boyfriend,” he smiled.

“Ajumma!” Brian yelled. “Can you turn up the volume?” And the owner of the restaurant obliged.

The TVXQ guys were seated in the usual arrangement. From left to right; Jun Su, Yoo Chun, Jae Joong, Chang Min and Yun Ho. Jae Joong was wearing a white leather jacket with a high collar. He looked like a white knight, in a biker sort of way.

***

Reporter1: Jae Joong-shi. Is it true that you have made a public announcement that you’re in a relationship fellow label mate, Sierra?

Jae Joong: Yes, it’s true.

Reporter1: Sierra used to date your band mate, Yun Ho. Don’t you feel awkward whenever the three of you are together?

Yun Ho: First of all, I’d like to make it clear that Sierra and I parted on good terms and we are still close friends. As for Jae Joong, we are like brothers after so many years of working and learning together. Having said all that, my answer would be that there are definitely no awkward feelings between us since we are mature adults.

Jae Joong: That’s right. All’s fair in love and war. If we can be mature about it, there would be no issues or conflicts between us.

Reporter2: Tell us about your upcoming concert in New York.

***

“Ya… you’re not even there and you’re one of the hottest topics,” Brian teased.

“Come on, Brian oppa. Stop teasing me,” I pleaded.

“I think it’s great that you and Yun Ho sorted things out. But if I were Yun Ho, I don’t think I can handle seeing my band mate date my ex-girlfriend,” Hwan Hee said.

“You’re lucky I don’t,” Brian laughed. “The girls he dates just aren’t my style,” he said in a stage whisper as he leaned closer to me with one hand covering the side of his face.

“So what’s your style?” I asked him

“That’s for me to know and for you to find out,” he winked.

“Eat up… We still have another 5 hours to go before we’re done for the day,” Hwan Hee said as he pushed some of the dishes towards me.

We were back in the studio half an hour later and we listened through this morning’s recording with the producer and sound engineer. After pin pointing the errors and discussing the course of improvements we need to make, we started the 2nd session of recording. At about 7pm, Jae Joong called.

“Are you ready to leave?” he said as soon as I answered the phone.

“I need another 15 minutes to wrap things up.”

“I’ll be up in a minute to walk with you,” he said and he hung up.

“Do you need to go now?” Brian asked me.

“No, Jae Joong will meet me here, let’s continue our discussion.”

“So this portion, we’re going to tweak it a little and we will need you guys to rerecord tomorrow,” the producer continued where he’d left off.

“I think we need to amp it up at the bridge,” Hwan Hee said. “It sounded a little flat on our last recording.”

“We’ll fix that tomorrow,” the producer said as he made a note on his laptop.

We continued for another 10 minutes and there was a knock on the door as it opened.

“Jae Joong… You’re here,” Hwan Hee greeted him. Jae Joong was still wearing the jacket he wore during the press conference.

“Hyung, great to see you,” Jae Joong replied. “Sierra, you ready?”

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” I said as I stood up and picked up my bag and some files.

“See ya…” the guys chorused as I walked out.

We walked down the corridor to the elevator in silence. The moment the elevator door closed, he pulled me into his arms.

“Jae Joong… there is a camera!!” I laughed.

“Then we’ll have our scandal on tape all over the internet. Won’t that be great for publicity?” he said as he kissed my neck.

“I don’t need that sort of publicity,” I said, but did not push him away. Instead I put my arms under his jacket and wrapped them around his waist. Just then, the elevator doors opened and the person who’d been waiting stood there aghast when he saw us wrapped up in each others’ arms.

“Choesonghamnida,” Jae Joong laughed as he hit the button to close the elevator doors. We laughed hysterically as the elevator descended all the way to the ground floor.

“That was so embarrassing,” I smacked his arm as we walked out into the lobby.

“How was I to know we’d get caught?” he said.

“We’re always sitting ducks,” I said. “There’s always a chance of getting caught.”

We met up with the rest of TVXQ at a nearby ramen shop. We ordered what we wanted at the counter before walking to the table where the guys were. The guys made room for me and Jae Joong at the small table they huddled around.

“I saw your press conference this afternoon,” I said as the waitress put down our bowls of ramen in front of us.

“You did? Did I look okay?” Chang Min asked. Up till now, Chang Min still cared a lot about his appearance. He was always nervous and worried that he didn’t look good on camera.

“You looked fine,” I smiled and started to pick at my noodles with my chopsticks.

“Were you still watching when they asked about our relationship?” Jae Joong said with his mouth full.

“I saw that. You and Yun Ho gave the perfect answer.”

“All in a day’s work,” Yun Ho smiled.

“Sierra, aren’t you excited about our concert next month?” Jun Su said.

“It’s gonna be great traveling with you guys. I can’t wait to see New York!!” I replied Jun Su.

“You’ve never been to New York?” Yoo Chun said in disbelief.

“I’ve never been to the USA.”

“Gosh… that must suck,” Yoo Chun said.

“Kinda, but thanks to you guys, I’ll finally get a chance to see New York.”

“Hyung, maybe we can take a road trip after the concert?” Chang Min suggested.

“No, we can’t,” Yun Ho said. “We need to get back to prepare for the MKMF. Remember?”

“Oh, right? I almost forgot about the MKMF,” I said.

“Too bad you guys missed out on the Best Newcomer award last year,” Jun Su said.

“So many things happened last year. I wouldn’t consider last year a good year for S-Cube,” I reasoned.

“You’ll catch up this year,” Jae Joong smiled as he put his arm around me to pull me over and kiss the side of my forehead.

“But they’re going to be up against top bands like FTTS in the R&B category,” Chang Min said.

“And you think they don’t stand a chance?” Yun Ho asked Chang Min.

“Well, FTTS has been around longer,” Chang Min reasoned.

“But they don’t have Sierra,” Yoo Chun smiled.

“Precisely,” Jae Joong laughed.

“Can we not talk about them like they’re the enemy? I just recorded a song with them today,” I said.

“Yea, I’m sure the best candidate will win. And that is definitely not our call,” Jun Su smiled.

We sat there for another hour, talking about work and our upcoming activities.

“We’d better get going,” Yun Ho said as he started to stand up.

“I’ll see you guys at home,” Jae Joong said.

“Bye!” I waved to the guys.

“Take care,” Yun Ho said as he gave me a quick hug.

“You too,” I said as I turned to take Jae Joong’s hand. Yun Ho and I were still very close, I’ll admit that. Sometimes I wonder if Jae Joong minded this closeness we had. We still hugged when we met. Sometimes he’d grab my arm, the way he used to, when we were walking somewhere and he wanted to get my attention or something. None of the other guys did that. Whenever I felt guilty, I will feel the need to overcompensate by paying more attention to Jae Joong, even though Jae Joong has never complained.

We walked to the car park slowly, hand in hand; swinging our arms was we did. There were days when we felt carefree and there were days we felt pressured. Today was a carefree day. On the days we felt pressured, we’d still hold hands, but we would be walking at a solemn pace.

“You’re in a good mood today,” Jae Joong said.

“How do you know?” I asked him.

“When you’re in a good mood, you sort of bounce when you walk,” he laughed.

“I do?” I never knew that. I felt like I had a spring in my step, but I never knew that the spring translated visually into a bounce.

“It’s like you walk on the tips of your toes, bouncing as you go.”

“Hmm…” I smiled. I’ll admit I wasn’t as observant as Jae Joong. It would usually take me longer to know if he were in a good or bad mood, unless he showed it. If he wanted to hide it, I would never know how he felt. His years as a kasu had trained him to put on a poker face. But with me, he had on his own face; the face of Kim Jae Joong. I’m grateful that he tries to be honest with me as much as he can.

Everyone knows I’m the lousiest liar. I could never lie to Jae Joong or hide anything from him. I remember when I had been so stressed the day before the live webcast performance of ‘Ghosts’. I wasn’t myself the entire day, and he took me out for a drive just to ease the tension. We drove to a park and spent the evening lazing by the manmade lake and we hadn’t said anything about the performance for the entire day. As he dropped me off that night, he hugged me and said, “You’ll be great tomorrow. Just make sure you get enough sleep.” Even though I try to avoid talking about work with him, he knows that I am worried about it and he’d always say the right things to ease my worries.

I walked into the apartment and found Skye sitting alone in the living room.

“You’re not asleep?” I asked as I approached him. He had on this troubled expression and it was odd since Skye was hardly ever troubled. He doesn’t even get stage fright. I’ve seen him with this expression a few times since we came back from Kwangju.

“Oh…” he said absently.

“What’s wrong, Skye?” I said as I put my hand on his shoulder.

“Nuna…” he said. “I…”

“You can tell me,” I said as I sat down beside him.

“I don’t know how to say this.”

“Just say whatever comes to your mind.”

“I just feel so burdened because I’m keeping this from you,” he sighed.

“What is it?” I asked anxiously. What was his big secret?

“It’s Hae Rin,” he started.

“What about her?”

“She told me she was in love with Jae Joong hyung.”